Cedar Park
by TheRealDodger
Summary: We were robbed of Windward Circle, but rightly so, that wasn't the story that Jess needed to tell, this was. Cedar Park, Philadelphia, 2005. Jess finally finds his place in the world, though he has no idea why it's Philly of all places.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: Okey, so Kassandra27 and ICanSeeYourFace are back with a new story, Cedar Park. We were basically talking, and the proposed Jess-in-Cali spin off came up, and all of a sudden we were talking about how there should have been a Jess-in-Philly spin off in stead. This is it. Jess in Philadelphia, starting from... Well, you'll see. Enjoy and leave us a little love in the form of a review. We love reviews.

**Disclaimer**: Do not own.

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Yes. Someone I know once said that the safest answer involving you or your best friend was 'no', but I find it to be 'yes'. Every question you could ask me would get a yes. Yes, I ran away. Yes, from you. Yes, I was being a mean, spineless punk. Yes, you may hate me for it. Yes, I loved you. So I ran, fled to the other coast, to Cali, to the man that fathered me, to whatever was there. A different sea greeted me, and the heat cooked me in my leather jacket. Cali was new, and so foreign, but I managed to pick up some things. Like the fact that your father isn't really the father you need when you see him for the first time when you're 18. That said, it's not impossible for him to be cool and manage to make an otherwise lame job fun. I picked up skateboarding again, because it was faster than running. And because I needed my book back.

_But even on the opposite coast you came to me. Little reminders, blue and books and fries, and I wilfully ignored them, letting my nicked board take me faster through the jammed boardwalks. I knew I should shed skin, leave behind you and everything from that Town. Starting with my stupid jacket. Who in their right mind persists on wearing a leather jacket round the clock in Cali in June? But I couldn't. Couldn't let go of anything. It was you. You and Them and Us. Subsect._

_So I turned back. Trailed the country in a shabby greyhound bus with my duffel bag. I even took the scenic route, pretending to be Kerouac-esque, with Springsteen wailing in my ears. The closer I got, the more I got the feeling I couldn't go all the way. Seams ripped open somewhere in Kentucky, and once I entered Pennsylvania I couldn't go any further. "The highway's jammed with broken heroes", Springsteen sang to me, as I hitchhiked my way from Pittsburgh to Philadelphia. I wouldn't say jammed, 'cause I felt like the only one out there. _

He'd been in Philadelphia no more than two hours, and Jess already felt like this was a city that wouldn't make him feel awkward and out of place. Cali had been hot, and his dad's house had been like the California version of Stars Hollow cramped into one little house. Plus dogs. Rabid dogs that never seemed to recognize him, even after his second week there. He even said goodbye, a good proper goodbye with words and promises and comforting Lily, who wouldn't let go of his leg. He left her his copy of _Oliver Twist _and promised to call. After he left he'd tried to stay in a couple of cities, but Denver felt uneasy, Bluff City had too much of a cowboy vibe for him and he only stayed in Nashville for five hours before the country music almost made his ears bleed. But Philly was different, the air was cool, and the park bench he was sitting on let him revert into his world of writing. He'd been jotting down stuff all the way from California, and only now had he managed to make it coherent. "Must be Philly…" he thought to himself.

A chilly breeze made him shiver, so he rose from his bench and began wandering the streets in search of a decent coffee. Five blocks away he found something that didn't look bad, and entered. Inside it was homey, and he had to fight back the memory flashes of Luke's. It was fairly empty inside, an old lady by the door, two guys in the corner. Jess took a seat by the window, close to the counter and took out his small legal pad and a pen and began writing down bits and pieces of the train of thought he had had going on the park bench.

"Can I get you anything?" came a voice beside him.

He looked up, only to be blinded by the most colourful girl he'd ever seen. Her hair was bright pink with purple highlights, her shirt a crazy shade of neon yellow, and on her feet were sparkly green Converse shoes. "A blindfold?" Jess replied sarcastically, losing his flow to the intrusive colours.

"Ah, you're new," the girl continued with a knowing smile. "I'm the traffic light option the city vetoed."

"Noted."

"So, do you want anything with that blindfold?"

"Just coffee. Black."

"Just a fair warning, I tend to be a bit overzealous with the coffee, so don't die on me, okay," the girl said, before disappearing behind the counter.

Jess shook his head. Of all the places to pick, of course he walked into the coffee place with the nutty waitress. He returned to his legal pad, trying to recollect his thoughts. It didn't take him long to get writing again, and he barely noticed when a steaming cup of coffee landed in front of him. He took a sip out of it, feeling a jolt go through him. The girl hadn't been kidding.

_Experiments. I was drawn to them, so maybe that's why I ended up in that Town. It was an __experiment, from the town limits to the centre square. A crazy collective, a kind of sect that had forgotten what it was. I tried to get out, but got stuck in blue. A haven, a sanctuary, my faction within the faction. Subsect. Among crazy edicts, new wave produce and plain insanity I found my ticket out of hopelessness and into a world of bricklike books, 80's music, fries for dinner and candy for medicine. It was like a dream, and for that I had to crush my illusions, and hers along with them. I sulked to Metallica all the way to the sun._

"Are you writing?"

Jess' head snapped up, only to find he wasn't alone at the table anymore. The two guys who had been sitting in the corner when he came in, were now sitting opposite him, eyeing him with curiosity.

"I'm holding a pen, aren't I?" Jess replied testily.

"Yeah, and the pen's been moving for the past half hour. Are you chasing down the Great American Novel?" asked one of them, a pale-looking guy with brown hair.

"No, but I'll be chasing you down the street unless you piss off. Immediately."

"Guy's got spunk, I like it!" the other guy, an afro-American with wild hair, said. "But seriously dude, what are you writing?"

"Something that looks more and more like your death sentence."

Jess was irritated. Where had these two nut jobs come from, and why did they have to destroy his perfect picture of Philadelphia. Thanks to them he'd have to leave. He wondered if Liz was still living in New York.

"I told you not to!"

Jess sighed heavily inside. Perfect. Colour-crazy waitress was back, her voice a high pitched shriek now.

"But we…" began the pale one.

"No," the girl told them sharply. "It's one thing for you to mess with me, I can take that. In fact I'm whoppin' both of your asses, but when you start soliciting customers you're out."

"You can't be serious!"

"You wanna wait and watch?"

Wild Hair-dude tugged at Paleface's shirt, and they both left the place quickly.

"Thanks," Jess said, and nodded to the girl.

"No worries. Those two can be a pain if you don't know how to handle them."

"And you obviously do."

"Please! I'm their sole provider of coffee, without me they'd be whining on the floor of their rundown apartment like little babies."

Jess smirked, and looked at his watch.

"I should go. Need to find a place to stay, and somewhere to work, preferably in that order. Thanks for the coffee," he said, putting away the pad and the pen, pulling out his wallet to pay.

"Coffee's on the house," the girl answered, with a grin.

He gave her a grateful smile, nodded again, and left.

He walked back towards the park bench, where he knew he'd seen a small newsstand. He could get a paper and start searching for an apartment and a job. He was almost at the bench, he could see the small news stand around the bend, when he heard it:

"Hey! Dude! Oh, for the love of Pete… Leather Jacket, front and centre!"

Jess didn't need to turn around. He knew it was one of the guys from the coffee shop.

"Was there an asylum prison break I don't know about?" Jess said aggressively as he turned around.

Behind him, Paleface stopped, huffing, while Wild Hair stepped up.

"Okay, so we didn't make the smoothest move in the coffee shop…"

"You're not hitting on me, are you? 'Cause I don't do that," Jess protested.

"No! Come on, if there were straight awards, we'd be honorary recipients! Anyway, we saw you writing, and thought we'd try and scope your work."

"Why?"

"We have this little project." Paleface piped up.

"A project?" Jess asked.

"Yeah, we just started up a publishing house. Nothing big and fancy, local talents, pretty decent coffee once we get our girl back at the coffee store to agree to that."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I'm not writing a novel, or a short story, or anything like that."

"We do poetry, too."

"No poetry, nothing." Jess kept on.

"Well, we're not picky with genres. Anything that's understandable goes."

Jess was silent for a second.

"It's not ready. I doubt it will ever be."

"I can be very persuasive." Paleface said cockily.

"Don't push your luck, ass."

"Cool down, I almost got this…" Wild Hair whispered to the pale one.

Jess shook his head, he had to get rid of these two.

"Sorry guys, I don't think you'll publish anything by me soon. Run along and stalk someone else," he told them.

"Come on, man. Just take our card, and drop by sometime. Bring your work, whatever you've got on paper that is, and let us have a look at it." Wild Hair said, and handed him a card.

Jess hesitated before accepting the card.

"Fine," he finally relented. "I'll come by if I have time, but I'm not making any promises."

"Great, you won't be sorry!" Paleface told him.

The guys turned around, jogging off. Jess saw them disappear out onto the street, before resuming his walk to the newsstand. He looked at the card he'd been given. It looked phony, it was all crinkled up like it had been in that guys pocket for days, and the writing on it looked as though it had been handwritten with a simple black marker. It read:

LOCUST PUBLISHING

5 Locust Street

Philadelphia

Matt Callahan & Chris Nuñez

Jake Parker & Reggie James

The writing was barely legible, and Jess had no idea what was preventing him from throwing the card in the nearest rubbish bin, but something was. Jess sighed as he placed the card in his pocket. He then continued on to the newsstand, he really needed to find a place to stay and preferably before nightfall.

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	2. Chapter 2

**A/N- **Here's the second chapter, enjoy.

**Disclaimer- **We don't own GG, but we do own Cammie, well ICanSeeYourFace owns Cammie, I just... well I'm just irrevocably in love with her, but not in a strange way... Umm why aren't you reading the chapter yet, huh? Well start reading already.

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Jess pulled himself up from the park bench he had spent the night on. He had spent the rest of yesterday looking for a job and when that seemed pointless he turned his attention to finding somewhere to spend the night. He had a little cash on him (though he had made some money in Cali by working with his dad, he had left most of his cash there, knowing he could call Jimmy and ask him to wire him the money), just enough for a motel for the night, but it seemed as though Philly could be more dangerous than New York, so after stepping into several 'wrong neighborhoods' Jess decided to venture back to where he knew was safe. Spruce Hill it was called, and ironically he was now on Spruce Street, and it seemed like the safest street around this area.

He stretched, and winced. It wasn't a good idea to sleep on a park bench, but it was better than getting mugged. He grabbed his paper and decided to see if that coffee shop, with the colorful waitress, was open. He walked the five blocks down 45th street, the same walk he made the previous day. He looked at his watch and it was a little after six am, and he prayed that the coffee shop was open. He rounded the corner into Baltimore Avenue and spotted the coffee shop. He picked up his pace once he noticed that it was open. He made his way inside and took a deep breath, letting the strong caffeine assault his system.

"I knew you would be back," It was the same girl from yesterday, though she looked different, he could have sworn that she didn't have a green streak of color through her pink hair with purple highlights yesterday.

"Did you do something with your hair?" Jess asked her confused.

"Yeah, you like it? I was thinking, hey I like green, and then I was like green goes with pink and purple, and since the town vetoed me for the traffic light it wouldn't matter, so I did it. I personally think that it looks fantastic."

"In what universe does green go with both pink and purple?"

"In my universe, duh! We're getting ahead of ourselves again, let's start over, hi I'm Cammie, your new best friend, and you are?"

"Jess, the first person that is going to decline you friendship, I don't need friends."

"Says who, says you? Don't worry, I'll bring you around, and trust me I'm a great friend."

"I'm sure you are," Jess replied sarcastically taking a seat in the same spot as yesterday. "Black coffee please."

Cammie went behind the counter, and returned a few minutes later with Jess' coffee.

"So... am I you best friend yet?" Cammie asked, peeking hopefully at him.

"No, I told you, I don't need friends."

"So you have no friends, none at all? What about a girlfriend?"

"No, and no thank you."

"Oh I wasn't offering," Cammie told him. "I like my women tough, you're a wimp, scrawny too. A piece of advice, free of charge, I'm so giving… Hit the gym, I hear weights can do wonders for people of your build."

"You're annoying, you know that. And what do you do, live in this coffee place, you were here last night."

"Wow, we are going to be best friends," Cammie said excitedly.

"Excuse me?" Jess asked confused.

"I tell you I'm gay and you tell me that I'm annoying, not many people out there are so accepting Jess. I like you. And as for living here, no I don't, I work the morning shift, but hey, someone called in sick and of course fate wanted me to meet you, and how can I say no to fate?"

"Easy," Jess replied smartly. "No."

"You're so funny," Cammie said sarcastically. "So where you from? You're not from around here that's for sure."

"New York, California, Connecticut," Jess said ready to shut down the conversation, he didn't even know this girl and he was already divulging more information then he should. "Tell you what, you can take your pick."

"I'm going to go for New York, you seem like a New Yorker, but not like a Sex and the City New Yorker, that would be so wrong. I mean the kind who's bitter and hate the world. It fits you."

"Where are you from then?" Jess asked her, trying to shift her attention off him.

"Pittsburgh originally, but when my parents kicked me out of the house when I told them I was gay, well I came to Philly, and never left. But I love it here, built a good life for myself too. Anyway back to you, you found anywhere to work yet, or a place to live?"

"No and no."

"So where'd you sleep last night?" Cammie asked concerned.

"Park bench over on Spruce Street," Jess answered casually, playing it down, there's was no way he was going to tell this girl about his attempted mugging when he ventured onto the wrong street, he was just lucky he grew up in New York and therefore knew how to defend himself.

"Spruce Street, that's a good street."

"You're weird."

"So are you. Anyway, listen, you might be able to get a job here if you're up for it. You know just until you find something more permanent. And as for somewhere to live, well you know Matt and Chris, you met them yesterday."

"Yeah I remember."

"Well they live on Locust street, it's one street over from Spruce, anyway they have an apartment, there's four of them living there at the moment, so it'd be cramped but the rent's cheap."

"One street over, and I spent all night on a park bench."

"Well that was your decision, but hey, they should be in soon, maybe you can ask if you can stay with them." Cammie got up and went back to work, though Jess was the only person in the coffee shop.

"Thanks," Jess replied and then took out his legal pad and pen, and began writing again.

_Subsect. Philadelphia, Philly. After spending a night on a park bench, I am still not running away, there's just something about this place. It could be its similarities to New York, I was starting to forget how to watch my back, small towns do that to you. Or it could be the fact that this is the first time in my life that I am finally free, free from everything. I know no one here and no one knows me. It's the fresh start I've always wanted. But I know that's not it, that's not why I'm staying, it's her, and not who you are thinking. This is a new someone. I've known her less than a day, but she's the one that's making me stay. I can't explain it but she reminds me so much of home, but not too much. She provides me with the coffee, but I'm starting to think that she is going to provide me with much more than that. _

_Home. I left everything behind. I used to regret my decision, I used to feel sorry for the people I left behind, at least some of them, and in a way I still do, but it's not suffocating me anymore. Yes. Yes, I left everyone behind. Yes, I didn't leave a note, postcard, or even a smoke signal. I just left. And I used to regret it, but now I don't. There's just something about Philly, it just puts everything into perspective. But once again I don't know what it is about Philly, it's not coffee girl, no, I had this revelation before I met the enigma that is coffee girl. But I can't call Philly home, you won't understand my reasons, but just know that I can't. You'll understand one day, I can promise you that. Maybe I was born to run, but Philly, this so called city of Brotherly Love has me chained to something. Enigmas, shabby cards and coffee. It's not home, but it's something. It's Subsect._

"He's writing," Wild Hair said, as he sat down across from Jess.

"Again," Paleface agreed taking his seat. "This is our table by the way."

"It's a free country," Jess replied, stuffing his legal pad back into his trusty duffle bag.

"Oh no," Paleface said a moment before his head hit the table, Jess looked at him confused.

"This is not a free country, sure they say it is, but it's not," Wild Hair raved. "Tell me... what's your name?"

"Jess," Jess supplied him with his name.

"Jess, we can work with that, I'm Chris, that's Matt," Wild Hair, well Chris said. "Now where was I, ah yes, Jess name one thing in this country that is free?"

"Money you find on the ground," Jess said and Matt groaned, face still melded into the table.

"No Jess, no, that's not free. Think of all the machines they had to buy to produce the money, then distribution costs, do you need me to go on?"

"No, I'm right," Jess told him. "So nothing's free?"

"Well no, not nothing, love and affection is free."

"Now you're contradicting yourself," Matt said pulling his head off the table. "Don't listen to him Jess, he's into philosophy, self taught though. He'll rant about anything even if he knows he's wrong."

"Yeah well Matt acts like a five year old ninety per cent of the time," Chris shot back. "He hasn't even kissed a girl."

"Have too," Matt defended.

"Here you go boys, coffee, just in time too," Cammie said giving the guys their coffee. "Word to the wise Jess, these two without coffee equals something you don't want to ever experience fully, trust me."

"Yeah, I can see that," Jess eyed the two in front of him, they were practically snorting the coffee up their nose, all that was missing was a dollar bill each. It reminded him so much of… He shook his head, he would not go back there, this was a fresh start and for once he was excited to see how it would turn out. "So?" Jess asked them when they finished their coffees and appeared to be coherent. "Cammie tells me that you might have a place where I can stay, or even just crash for a few days."

"Cammie's gay," Matt blurted out.

"I'm aware," Jess said confused. "Wait, do you have a crush on her?"

"Who doesn't," Chris said dreamily, looking at Cammie behind the counter.

"You two are sad, have you ever interacted with girls other than Cammie? Because from the short amount of time I've known you, none of you are suited for each other, or anyone else for that matter, beyond friendship."

"What do you know?" Matt asked him.

"Yeah," Chris agreed. "What are your credentials? Have you even had a girlfriend before?"

"Sure," Jess answered quickly. "Two years maybe, I didn't keep track, I probably should have. Anyway, can I stay with you?"

"Hell yes," Matt said jumping up. "You need to teach us everything you know about girls."

"I don't know much."

"Please, you had a girlfriend for two years, that's more than Matt and I combined."

"Okay first piece of advice, stay away from Cammie, forget your crushes on her, because she's gay, and even if she isn't gay then she's gone a hell of a lot out of her way to pretend to be just not to hurt your feelings."

"Sure we can do that, can't we Matt?" Chris said as he whacked Matt on the back of the head to get his attention away from Cammie.

"I'm not making any promises," Matt said and his eyes drifted back to Cammie, who just happened to be reaching up to the top shelf in an extremely short mini skirt.

"She's gay," Jess said trying to snap Matt out of it.

"So, she's hot, and I heard that she was bi, thank you very much," Matt argued.

"How about you show me this place, huh, I'm sick and tired of carrying this duffle bag around with me."

"Fine, Cammie, three coffees to go," Chris called out to her.

"So where'd you come from?" Matt asked Jess as they waited for their coffees.

"Cali," Jess answered.

"California's so in right now," Chris told him. "We'd love to live there, but we can't."

"Why not?" Jess asked as Cammie handed them their coffees. Jess picked up his things and followed them out to the car after saying a quick goodbye to Cammie.

"Ask him," Chris said pointing to Matt. "He's afraid of traveling."

"I've never left the state," Matt said proudly.

"That's nothing to be proud about," Jess told him. "You have no idea how much you are missing."

"Back to important things, first off this is our car," Chris said as they approached a blue, well faded blue, car.

"Yeah, it's not much," Matt told Jess. "But it gets us from our apartment to the coffee house and that's all that really matters."

"Sure," Jess said as he shoved his duffle bag in the back and got in. He couldn't complain about the car, it looked better and appeared to be in better condition than his previous car. A car which someone stole from him in a town with no crime rate whatsoever, he shook his head again, he couldn't think about that.

"So was this girlfriend from California?" Matt asked leaning over the front seat so that he could see Jess better.

"No," Jess answered. "Connecticut."

"See," Chris told Matt. "Good things happen when you travel."

"Appears so, maybe I'll have to look into it."

"We're here," Chris announced as he parked the car out the front of an apartment building, it wasn't bad, Jess had lived in worse back in New York. "4420 Locust Street."

Jess followed them up the stairs to the second floor, the building had no elevator, not that he cared.

"Now we have two roommates which Cammie may have told you, or you may have guessed that from our business card."

"Yeah, nice business card by that way," Jess told him.

"Thanks, the penmanship was mine," Matt said proudly.

"That wasn't a compliment," Jess replied and Matt's face fell.

"Okay so there's a trick to the door," Chris explained. "It doesn't actually lock, I know right, anyway we undid one of the hinges slightly so now it leans just enough so that when you close the door it butts up against the doorframe and appears to be locked." Jess looked at him like he was insane, which at this point seemed very possible. "So all you have to do is grab the door handle," Chris said showing him. "Lift it back towards the other side and open it up, see easy," Chris finished slightly out of breath.

"And then see, it's on a lean," Matt pointed out. "So you just close it the same way." Jess laughed at all the effort Matt was putting in trying to close the door, Jess dropped his bag and closed the door easily. "Thanks Jess."

"Sure."

"Okay," Chris said looking around. "This is it, but it appears as though Jake and Reggie aren't here, we'll just wait for them."

"Yeah, we're a democracy, so if Jake or Reg don't like you then you're out, sorry," Matt told him. "But we think you have a fair chance."

"So we wait," Jess said as he sat down on the couch, and Matt and Chris joined him on either side.

"Sorry, we don't have a TV," Chris apologized.

"It's okay."

They all sat in silence waiting for the others to return home.

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**A/N- **Rememer, review


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**: Thank you all for reviewing, it's really encouraging us to continue, so keep them coming, we want them in heaps! One of you, who reviewed chapter 1 (couldn't reply, because you had disabled PM's) asked whom of us wrote the excerpt for The Subsect. That was me (**ICanSeeYourFace**), and **Kassandra27** wrote the one in chapter 2. If this made you confused, it's like this: We split up the chapters, so **ICanSeeYourFace** writes chapters with odd numbers and **Kassandra27** writes chapter with even numbers. Very simple, or at least it was simple in our minds. Oh well... Chapter 3 ladies and gents!

**Disclaimer**: We do not own Gilmore Girls, though we (and yes, by now I think we've both contributed equally much to her) own Cammie, and she's great. Stroke of genius, really. Okey, enough, with this, go on, read!

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"So… How long have you been writing?" Matt asked, as they sat waiting.

"Since I was four, I learned early," Jess answered smartly. "Could even write my own name when I was just three."

Chris stifled a laugh.

"Yeah, sure dude, but I was talking about the fancy little thing you were working on before," Matt continued.

"I started putting thoughts to paper yesterday when I came into the coffee shop," Jess replied.

"Seriously? And how many pages have you got down now?"

Jess pulled out his legal pad, and started to quickly count the pages. He had passed the time yesterday night writing, just waiting for sleep to take him in.

_Subsect. Children of the night, and I see the different factions fight each other, and I even get a couple of punches before my __defense mechanisms kick in. Even outside, in the dim light of a streetlight that has seen its best days, there is a sense of safety. Now I'm thankful I never got rid of my leather jacket. It keeps out most of the cold, and makes me look fairly badass. I put on Springsteen again, that man has completely hi-jacked my mp3-player. Finding a face that doesn't look through me. Blue pierced me, to the soul and beyond. The brown of enigma just looks at me. She's weird, and yes, I just called someone weird. I usually take to much more colorful language. But that girl is just… weird. A child of something completely different, of colors, coffee and life. She can make me forget, or at least bypass the feelings. She is not her. She is her own, she is Subsect._

"I'm going on ten, fifteen pages, though it's just bits and pieces, not really a coherent story. The parts themselves are completely coherent, but it's not worthy of publishing if you ask me," he said, trying to downplay the whole thing.

Truth to be told, there was coherency to it all, a subtle journey, he had noticed it already.

"That's for us to decide, thank you very much!" Matt decided, snatching the legal pad from Jess' hands, making Jess flinch in his seat.

"Is there anything I can threaten him with that would make him return that to me?" Jess asked Chris.

"I don't think so, he's long gone to Publishing Land," Chris replied, looking amusedly at Matt, who was flipping page after page, eyes alight.

Jess was feeling terribly uncomfortable. He'd been lecturing them about giving up on Cammie, and the last couple of pages were basically an ode to her oddness. He doubted he would get far trying to tell Matt that he'd sworn off girls since… And again, he refused to say it. Evasion was still a huge river in Jess-land, and he wasn't completely ready to steer away from it. He needed to keep Rory packed away for a while longer.

"Hey, why are there no names?" Matt asked, suddenly back from his self-induced trance.

"That's my choice, live with it," Jess retorted.

"Yeah, but I'm fairly intelligent, so I can clue out who almost everyone here is, since this is fairly current. But there is this continuous mention of a 'her' and something blue, and I daresay that 'her' and 'blue' are the same person. Am I right?"

And there it was. He knew he kept going back to her and blue, but had hoped it wouldn't shine through. It had. Like a flippin' halogen lamp in a dark room. Crap.

"Aha!" Matt exclaimed triumphantly. "There's a girl."

"There isn't a girl," Jess protested, while pictures of Rory kept flashing in his mind. He couldn't even make himself believe it.

"Oh, come on! The fact that you deny it makes it so much clearer."

"Makes what clearer? That there is no girl?"

"No, that there is! So, who was she, was she hot?"

Jess was cooking inside by now. His hands were fisted, making his knuckles turn white. "I will not crush him, I will not crush him…" he repeated silently to himself.

"Matt, come on dude, leave him alone," Chris interfered, saving Jess from going full on Hulk.

"Hey, I didn't hear you complain when I said Jess was going to have to teach us about girls," Matt protested loudly.

"Okay, Matt, I'm gonna give you two words to chew on, and I'd prefer if you would go contemplate them in the kitchen. You ready?" Chris asked Matt.

"You do the strangest things…" Matt sighed. "Okay, hit it."

"Survival. Instinct."

Chris made the slightest nod towards Jess, and not even Matt was blind to the intense expression on Jess' face and his white knuckles. Matt immediately put down the legal pad and rose from the sofa.

"I'll go contemplate the kitchen tiling," he simply said before disappearing into the kitchen.

"Thanks for that," Jess said, when he'd calmed down.

"No problem, Matt's… Well… I don't know, he's Matt. Crazy and unpredictable, but he's got some weird sixth sense about writing."

"What is this project you were talking about?"

"Oh, Locust Publishing? Well, it's fairly new."

"How new are we talking about?"

"Like… two, three weeks old."

"Less than a month?" Jess asked distrustfully.

"Don't be like that, we've been very efficient." Chris assured him proudly.

"Whatever crazy kind of Kool-Aid you've been drinking, I don't want any." Jess muttered.

"You should see it, man! We took over this small, old printing house not far from here. Hadn't been used in years, but the equipment still works. It was just gonna be a monthly zine, with Reg and Jake as reporters and me and Matt as editors. Then Matt had a couple of friends, and he offered to print their material in the zine as a favor. Then word spread like wild fire, and people started sending their stuff to us, so now we have enough edgy poetry to last us through the year."

"But I don't write poetry," Jess said, pointing towards the legal pad.

"Yeah, well, we've gotten a few manuscripts for novels of various lengths, and even though the zine's fine, it would be fun to print novels. Wouldn't you like to see that," Chris said enthusiastically, pointing towards Jess' legal pad. "Whatever that is, in print?"

Jess looked at his writing, his heart and soul scribbled down on the pages of a $1.50 legal pad. Could he ever let it transform from his distinct handwriting into some neat font on fancier paper?

"It lacks coherency, and I'm not done. I don't even have a plan for it. My only plan right now is getting a job and not having to sleep on a park bench on Spruce."

"Spruce, that's a good street. Was it that park bench with the funky-looking trash can next to it?"

"I can't believe I'm sitting here discussing this… But yes, it was that bench."

"Good move. There's one bench at the other end of Spruce, and that one sucks."

"I so do not want to know how you know that…"

Five minutes later they heard a ruckus outside the door, raised voices, and then the banging that indicated someone was trying to enter.

"Ah, Reg. He never gets it right. I swear, he will break that door down one day," Chris noted calmly. "Hey Matt, they're home!"

"Cool, it's judgment time," came Matt's voice from the kitchen.

"How's that tiling contemplation going?" Jess asked just to mess around.

"Well… Whoever decorated this place had exceptionally bad taste. In what universe does puke green go with rusty red?"

Jess was tempted to say that it was lucky Cammie wasn't there, since she would probably love the color combo.

A large crack, and the door flew open. Two boys, one of them tall and gangly, the other one shorter, but with more muscle, entered.

"I swear to God…" the tall one said, almost kicking the door shut behind them.

"I don' know how many times I need to tell you, you lift it completely wrong, you could just as well axe the damn thing down," Mr. Muscles rebuked him.

"Guys!" Chris said, and the two newcomers turned their attention towards the couch. "This is Jess, he needs a place to crash, and well, the democracy-thing prevented us from granting him a mattress straight away."

"You chasing?" Mr. Muscles blurted out.

"Not at the moment, but stupid questions make me want to chase the one asking them." Jess replied, sighing inwards. What was it with these stupid, random questions?

"Feisty, could be trouble," Tall Dude summarized.

"Hey! I am not trouble!"

"Jake, enough with the drug questions. I admit we made a mistake that one time with the hobo, but come on, does he look like a junkie?" Matt asked, gesturing towards Jess. "Second, he writes amazing stuff, you should read it…"

"No, you shouldn't." Jess butted in sourly.

"Never mind Grumpy here, he doesn't know what's good for him yet."

"You sure he's no trouble?" Jake asked, still suspicious.

"He managed to find the good neighborhoods of this city the first night he was here. Even the best park bench on Spruce. He's good guy material." Chris chipped in.

Jess looked around the room. This was getting to be too much of crazy, and though he had never dreamed that he'd be judged on the basis of his ability to spot a good park bench, his chances of getting to stay with Matt, Chris, Reg and Jake didn't look good.

"How amazing are we talking?" asked the tall one, Reg.

"Your mom's triple chocolate chip cookies amazing," Matt said in response.

"Okay then, I vote the dude stays."

"And the dude's name is Jess…" Jess said pointedly and looked at Reg.

"And you, Jake?" Chris asked.

Everyone turned to look at Jake, who stood with arms crossed, looking at Jess, who glowered back at him. Minutes of intense staring later, Jake uncrossed his arms, and his expression softened.

"Welcome to the funhouse, bro," he said with a wide smile on his face, reaching out his hand to shake Jess'.

Jess hesitantly shook Jake's hand, feeling how Jake almost crushed his hand.

"Any sign of trouble, and I will personally kick you out, face first. Just remember to leave me an address so I can forward your knee caps to you," Jake said, released Jess' hand, and shuffled off into a room.

Jess couldn't really move. His hand ached, and he had too vivid a picture of him getting a package with his knee caps in it forwarded to him.

"Sorry about Jake, he's got some temper issues, but he can get people to tell the most amazing stuff," Reg apologized.

"No kidding, I think he could get someone's Granny to confess to the Kennedy assassination," Jess commented dryly.

"That's why we have Reg here to balance him out," Matt said.

"In other words, you keep him on a leash."

"It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it," Reg joked. "So, you write Jess?"

"On and off. It's been more off for the past couple of hours."

"Anything you could share? A couple of pages?"

"No."

"A paragraph?"

"No."

"A sentence?" Reg winkled, trying to look likeable.

"No!"

"A word, then?"

Jess sighed.

"Fine, a word."

"Great, hit it!"

"Subsect," Jess said, not really sure why he had picked it. It had come up so many times in his writing now, but always fitted in.

"Subsect, cool!"

"Way cool," Chris concurred. "So, Jess, you got yourself a place to stay, there should be a decent mattress someplace and you can pick whatever spot you want, though I wouldn't go too close to Jake just yet. Last time I checked you still needed a job, so what do you say? You up for being the new employee at Locust Publishing? We have excellent employee perks, flexible hours and a kick-ass Employee of the Month award."

"Cammie sort of promised me a job at the coffee shop…" Jess began.

"He's met Cammie?" Reg interrupted.

"Yeah, and he doesn't even care that she's not into guys. He's totally cool with it. The Shaft

of uncomfortable truths." Matt told the other excitedly.

"Respect, man…"

Reg extended his balled fist, and Jess touched it with his fist, not really knowing why that was so respected. So, she was gay, why linger on the fact?

"I still don't know about the job, and even if I do get it, I can probably help you guys out, if you need it. I'm the master of having two jobs," Jess said, choosing not to tell his new-found flat mates that having two jobs was the reason he couldn't boast with a GED. Speaking of which, he hoped to whatever higher power out there that they wouldn't ask him for any serious credentials.

"You just keep getting better," Chris smiled. "Now come on, if you're going to help us out, you may just as well get yourself acquainted with the place and how we operate."

"Meaning..?"

"Get your coat, we're going to HQ."

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**A/N**: Review, and rock our weekend! You know you want to..!


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N- **Kassandra27 here, not much to say I guess, just enjoy... Oh I almost forgot, as of last chapter I officially co-own Cammie, now that's great, thanks Pia that really made my day.

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"I don't see why I had to come," Jake protested as they walked towards the publishing house.

"Because Jess needs to see the whole picture," Chris told him.

"I'm here for Jess? He's been writing like a madman the whole walk here."

"You can't help when inspiration strikes," Matt defended Jess.

"Well let's see what's so important," Jake said as he grabbed the legal pad out of Jess' hand before Jess could stop him.

"Hey," Jess said trying to take it back.

"Hang on," Jake said reading the first couple of sentences. "Reg I think you should read this," He handed the legal pad over to Reggie.

"Why?" Reg asked confused as he looked at the page. "What the..? This is about me."

"It's not about you," Jess retorted. "Now give it back."

"Here let me have it," Matt said as he grabbed it off Reggie and read it out loud. "_He was tall. Too tall. One would call him a freak of nature, but I wouldn't, I'd call him something much worse. 'Good things come in small packages,' they aren't wrong there. He was tall, he was manipulative and he was too overprotective. He wasn't good enough, he was never good enough. Subsect. He had few close friends, and many nicknames, but from the people who count, and they weren't even good nicknames. Fight. Swing. Miss. I'm glad I missed. Snow. Sleigh. Independence. That was the night that gave me hope, but if I had made contact before then I wouldn't have had my chance, she would have been pissed, well more pissed than she was, but she actually laughed, because Chuck Presby really was a jerk._"

"That isn't about you," Chris told Reggie.

"Sure it is, I'm tall... who else could it be?"

"It's someone I used to know," Jess said taking his legal pad back. "Someone unimportant. They were tall like you though, freakishly tall. So calm down Reg."

"Only my friends call me Reg, you can call me Reggie."

"Fine Reginald."

"Nice," Jake said, pleased with Jess' comeback.

"Hey, who told him my full name?"

"Like it was hard to figure out," Jess answered.

"You're wrong Jess," Chris told him, and everyone looked at him confused. "The person, whoever you were writing about, he's important, you wouldn't be writing about him if he wasn't."

"Just shut up about 'him', next person to mention 'him' gets a black eye."

"Fine, but who's Chuck Presby?" Matt asked confused.

"A jerk," Jess answered as he smiled, it really was the first thing he and her agreed on, first time he saw her smile so close. He was about to shake his head to get rid of the memory, but he stopped himself, he had been depriving himself for so long, surely one memory couldn't hurt. It wasn't like it was all kissy-kissy. It was innocent. A smile.

"What's wrong with him?" Reg asked confused.

"He's smiling," Jake replied.

"But its Jess, he doesn't smile. The closest he's come is when he's around Cammie," Chris told them.

"Well I like it," Matt said happily. "I like Jess, and I like seeing him this happy. Do you think that he can hear us?"

"No, he would have kicked our asses by now if he had heard," Chris answered

"I wonder what he's thinking about?" Jake mused out loud.

"I know," Matt said triumphantly. "He loves that Chuck guy, he's gay, that's why he was so accepting of Cammie, that's why he's not attracted to her."

"You're an idiot," Jake said whacking the back of his head. "He keeps referring to 'her' not him."

"Well maybe Chuck wears the panties in their relationship," Matt argued.

"Who wears the panties in whose relationship?" Jess questioned confused. He finished relieving one of his favourite memories and now it was time to keep on moving forward.

"Just Matt's 'special friend'," Jake answered. "No one important."

"So are we nearly there? I'm assuming that Locust Publishing is actually on Locust Street, and your apartment is on Locust Street... am I missing something?"

"No we're here," Matt said motioning towards the building behind him.

Jess turned and looked at the place, it was beyond rundown. Broken windows, peeling paint, in a shady neighbourhood. He could only imagine what the inside looked like. He suddenly had a sinking feeling that maybe he was walking into his own death, he didn't know these guys. But they knew Cammie, and Cammie knew them, that calmed Jess down a bit, he felt as though he could probably trust Cammie.

"So is the inside as good as the outside?" Jess asked sarcastically. "Because if it is, then-"

"Shut it," Jake told him. "It might not be much, but it's ours, and everyone's got to start somewhere."

"Fine, lead the way."

Jess followed them in, and it wasn't as bad as he expected. They had some publishing equipment, but it was dated, and looked as though it would break down any minute, but at least it was a start.

"You all work here?" Jess asked and they all agreed. "And you publish a magazine? How often? What's the circulation like? Costs?"

"It's called Zine," Chris nominated himself as spokesperson. He was nervous, no one ever questioned their business before, and he was worried about what Jess would think. Sure they knew it was still early on, but they never discussed it, they were losing money and they all knew it. "It comes out once a month. The work submitted to us is free of charge, but it costs around one dollar to publish each copy, and we sell them for a one fifty."

"And circulation?"

"We print two hundred copies, distribute them around the neighbourhood, at local newsstands," Chris explained.

"So two hundred copies, local newsstands, you'd be lucky to sell a quarter of those, that's a loss of $125 a month and that's only if you manage to sell fifty copies, which I imagine you don't reach often. And then there's the issue that you haven't had this business for long."

"What do you suggest?" Matt asked him.

"Hey," Reg and Jake reprimanded him.

"What?" Matt asked confused. "Jess seems to know what he's talking about, and that's way more than us. Where'd you go to school Jess? Did you study business?"

"No," Jess answered uneasily, he didn't want them to know that he never graduated high school. "I've just worked a lot of jobs, picked up some stuff."

"So do you have any ideas?" Chris asked him, hopeful.

"Sure," Jess answered. "First off, you all need to get a second job, you're not even getting an income from here. And second you need to stop publishing two hundred copies, publish fifty, that already takes you from a loss of $125 to a profit of $25, which might not seem like much but if you look at this annually then it goes from a loss of $1500 a year, to a profit of $300. Now this won't even matter if you have second jobs, it will just be play money, you can save it for better equipment, for repairs, or for better business cards, either of which I would strongly suggest. Now if you get a decent band of followers, then you can publish the Zine bi-monthly and that will automatically double your profits."

"Hang on, we need to be writing this down," Chris told him.

"Why?" Jess asked confused. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I think we need to have a private meeting," Reg said eyeing Jess suspiciously.

"Fine," Jess replied. "I'll just be over here admiring the holes in the wall. Really does wonders for the place."

"Why are we doing this?" Reg asked them in a hushed whisper after Jess was out of earshot. "We don't even know him."

"So, he seems cool," Matt said.

"I agree, if he can help us out then that's great and if not, then what can we lose? Nothing," Chris told them.

"I'm with Reg, I'm not sure," Jake told them.

"Look he'll be rooming with us, paying a fifth of the rent. Helping out here, and trying to make profits which is a vast improvement on the losses we've been making. So what's the problem?" Chris asked them.

"He's... I don't like him," Reg said defiantly.

"I... I'm in, on one condition though, if he screws up, or something goes wrong, then we kick him out of our lives and don't look back," Jake suggested.

"Fine, we're in, on the condition that it has to be Jess' fault, there has to be no doubt," Chris answered for himself and Matt.

"Agreed," Jake said. "How about it Reg, we've got nothing to lose and a whole lot to gain."

"Fine, but if he screws up then he's out."

"Deal," Matt said excited. "Now let's tell him the good news."

"Hey," Jess said as an excited Matt bounced over to him. "I guess I'm in, either that or you're excited to see me go."

"No, of course not Jess, I like you, and so do the others."

"Great, now all you guys have to do is find jobs, and speaking of jobs I'm going to head to the coffee house, see what Cammie's offering me."

"Sounds good... wait, it's after one."

"So?"

"Cammie's shift is up."

"Well maybe I can talk to the manager, or owner."

"Sure, the owner, Chris and I will drive you there."

"Okay, thanks."

They said their goodbyes to Jake and Reggie, and Jess only left once they promised that they would look for another job. He couldn't understand how four guys could run a publishing business this badly, sure they only had it a month and they probably were all excited with their dream, but they really needed to work this all out beforehand. They needed to understand that you need money to make money, but then not to piss the money away on things that people aren't going to buy.

They walked back to the apartment and got into Matt and Chris' faded blue car. The drive was fairly short and they drove right by the coffee house.

"Willows Avenue, what's up with these street names? Willows, Spruce, Locust?" Jess asked them.

"No idea, call the city council if you want answers," Chris told him.

"Call Taylor."

"Who's Taylor?" Chris asked him confused.

"No one."

"Why is everyone a no one in your life?" Matt asked confused. "There must be someone you don't call a no one."

"Luke."

"And who's Luke?" Matt questioned.

"Someone," Jess answered curtly. "Look the car stopped, we must be here." Jess jumped out of the car before they could question him any further, Matt and Chris hopped out too. "So what can you tell me about this owner, how can I get on their good side?"

"Well that's kind of hard, no one really knows enough to please them," Matt told Jess.

"But I'm sure you'll be fine," Chris added, elbowing Matt in the ribs.

"Fine? Instead of taking me to see Cammie, someone I already know, you take me to some fruity street called Willows, and now I'm standing out the front of a yellow house, and it looks like it's covered in fluoro, who paints their house fluoro yellow? I'm leaving, I'll just ask Cammie tomorrow."

"Come on Jess, we're here already."

"Yeah," Matt agreed. "And you've been preaching all day about us getting jobs, just imagine Jake and Reg when you get back and tell them that you decided to wait for tomorrow."

"Yeah, they'll take that excuse and run with it."

"Fine, let's just get this over and done with," Jess said as he walked up to the door and knocked.

He heard a muffled 'coming', and shifted nervously waiting for whoever it was to open the door.

* * *

**A/N- **Review and let us know what you thought


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N**: Give it up for chapter 5! We're so efficient it's almost silly. 'Course, it helps when the story is great, too. Much will be revealed here. Who lives in the yellow house, what happens in the yellow house? Lots about the yellow house, sort of. Yeah. Anyway, you know the drill. Read and review. Review if you like the yellow house, or review if you don't like the yellow house. Or, you can review just to review, no need to involve yellow houses. We like reviews, makes us feel all goodie goodie.

**Disclaimer**: We do not own any of the characters associated with Gilmore Girls. We do own Cammie, though, she's our colourful heroine.

* * *

When the door swung open, Jess was not that surprised. Of course. Who else would voluntarily live in a house that looked like it had been attacked by the god of dentists? Cammie stood in front of him, obviously coming straight from the shower, as she was wrapped in a multicolored, a few inches too-short-to-be-modest robe, with a questioning expression on her face. Jess could only imagine that Chris and Matt were already salivating behind him like a couple of rabid dogs, but he couldn't care less. She was enigma, and that was all.

"Yes?" Cammie finally spoke. "Did you want something, or did you come just to stare at me, because in that case I take $150 an hour."

"You're the boss?" Jess asked hesitantly.

"Depends. No, I'm not the Boss, that would be Springsteen. I am, however, my own boss."

"As in you run the coffee shop?"

"Yup, the one and only." Cammie said proudly. "Come on in, you can't stand there and looking stupid, my neighbors would never forgive me if I brought someone stupid into the house."

Jess was tempted to make a rude comment about being stupid for living in the crazy dentist-molested house, but held his tongue. He couldn't afford to lose the job, and possibly the only thing close to a friend he had in this city. Instead, he followed her in, Matt and Chris close behind him. The apartment was the size of Luke's apartment before they tore down the wall. It had one bedroom, a bathroom, a living room that doubled as a dining room, and a small kitchenette. The interior of the apartment was dark and somber, with heavy tree materials and dark wallpapers. Being Cammie, she couldn't have that, so she had taken to filling every possible spot with color; a glowing emerald green sofa, sheer pink throwing pillows, bright blue glasses that contained candles, and more of the hideous fluoro yellow in the form of curtains.

"Love what you've done with the place…" Chris noted, looking around.

"What? Oh, yeah, that's right. You and Matt helped me carry the boxes. I never really thanked you for that."

"Because you flipped when I accidentally smashed one of your coffee mugs," Matt reminded her.

"It was my favorite!" Cammie replied indignantly.

"It was a $3 coffee mug from Target, I even offered to buy you a new one, and you responded by insulting my honor, kicking us out, and serving us decaf coffee for a week!"

"Remind me never to get on your bad side…" Jess said with a sly smile.

"They're totally overreacting, I'm not that horrible. And I only served them decaf for five days, I caved on the sixth, because they were pitiful."

"So, you're the boss?" Jess asked again.

"Yes, I am. Well, technically not, it's sort of a franchise business, so the real boss is sitting somewhere in San Fran pushing papers, not giving a crap, and I originally had a supervisor, but the poor bastard quit only a month after we started…"

"Blinded by the colors?" Jess asked before he could stop himself.

"He claimed burnout, but what do I know?" she sneered jokingly. "Anyway, I was the only one left, so yeah, I'm the boss. Just don't tell the San Fran boss that I messed around with his franchise, I don't think he'd like that much."

"You messed with his franchise?" Matt asked, surprised. "Although, since I haven't left the state, I wouldn't be able to tell what you changed…"

"Hey, the coffee brand he picked out was hideous, and the cookies weren't worth the box they came in! I even make better cookies, and I'm as far from domestic as they come. I'm seriously thinking of buying out this place, though…"

Domestic. Another reminder, and he needed to put it on paper. He quickly pulled out the legal pad, scribbled down the word, so he could follow it up later, and put the pad away again.

"So, you offered me a job…" he began instead.

"Yeah, I could use a little extra help. Brett's good, but he's getting sloppy, and sometimes he's got this look, like he's gonna bite. As much as I hate firing people, he's this close to getting the sack," Cammie said, measuring up an inch between her thumb and index finger.

"You're seriously gonna give Jess a job?" Chris asked, astounded.

"You never give anyone a job, you only took on Brett because management told you to!" Matt agreed.

"What can I say, Jess is cool. He hasn't tried to make a pass at me, unlike some. He doesn't care that I'm gay, and come on, look at him? Who wouldn't want to work with Mr. Brooding Novelist here?"

"I'm not a novelist, and the next person who calls me brooding will get a right hook to the face," Jess warned them.

"Chris, we need to go and buy legal pads and pens. If that stuff could get Jess a job, it can get us a job." Matt decided, more or less dragging Chris out of the apartment.

"Those two are the nuttiest people I've ever met," Cammie mused, when the door slammed shut. "But, they keep me in business, so who am I to judge?"

Jess just nodded, thinking about how Cammie would love to have Rory and Lorelai as her customers. On the other hand, Luke would probably lose half his business… He shook away the thought, cursing himself for returning to the mental residue of Stars-freaking-Hollow that lingered in his mind.

"Now, just for show, I'm gonna have to ask for your credentials." Cammie said and sat down in a fiery orange beanbag.

"I…" Jess began, wondering how he'd weasel his way around the possible GED-question. "I used to work at my uncle's diner, serving coffee, making sandwiches, you know… food-related chores. I also worked with my dad in Venice Beach, in a hotdog stand, so more food-related chores there. I guess that's the most relevant working experience I can offer you. I also worked a couple of months at Wal-Mart…"

"Wal-Mart?" Cammie snorted, surprised. "Seriously? You at Wal-Mart? And I thought that the diner-gig and hotdog stand was.. well… beneath you."

"Yeah, I know. Even got the Employee of the Month award before I left for Cali."

"Okay, so job experience is check. I think I'd hire you even if I didn't like you, Jess. Great, you can start tomorrow, morning shift with me, show up at 8 a.m, and I'll show you the ropes."

"Wait, we're done?" Jess asked confused, taking a seat in the sofa next to Cammie's beanbag. He'd been expecting… more.

"What else would there be?"

"Like…" Jess hesitated, well aware that this could cost him his job and his mattress on Locust Street. "Like… school. Diplomas. Extracurricular activities and what not."

"If you think it's necessary, fine," Cammie reasoned. "Hit it, I'm all ears."

"I… I don't have a diploma. I never finished high school. I skipped school too much because I was working all the time, and because I didn't learn anything new at that place, so I was expelled a few weeks before graduation."

Cammie observed him quietly, her eyes seemingly etched onto his face, and he had never felt more nervous. He began fidgeting with the arms of his jacket, imagining himself alone on some no-good street in Philly, his duffel bag by his feet and no one to turn to.

"Okay," she finally said.

"Okay, what?" Jess asked.

"Confession duly noted," Cammie said calmly.

Jess was astounded, was this girl for real?

"Did you hear anything of what I just told you, or did you miss it because you followed some insane mental brick road to your inner Oz?" he asked her. "I don't have a GED, I'm a high school drop out."

"And my family shunned me for wanting to play on the 'girl's only team', Jess. I know what it is to fight for survival, when you know you can't go back and undo stuff. You have no idea how many jobs I went through before I landed this, and I suspect it was only because I wasn't quite as colorful back then. So what, you don't have a GED? It's not like you perform ritual sacrifices with babies and dance naked in the moonlight to the sound of bongo drums."

Jess was quiet for a single beat.

"I don't want your pity," he then said sternly.

"Oh, this is not pity. This is me hiring you for your experience," Cammie replied, equally stern.

Jess let out a gust of air, while Cammie got a huge grin on her face.

"God, that sounded so dirty!" she laughed. "You make me tell dirty jokes, Jess. I just might give you another Employee of the Month award just for that."

Jess was too relieved to notice the quippy remark. She didn't care, and he was free. He rose from the sofa, and turned to leave.

"I should go, and you should get dressed," he said. "Thanks for the job, I'll be there at eight sharp tomorrow... and Cammie?"

"Yes," she answered.

"Keep your legs closed next time you're in a short robe sitting on a beanbag, but then again, nice view," Jess smirked.

"Well thanks for the warning, and this should be fun... the working together, not the impromptu R-rated show you just witnessed."

Jess was almost at the door, when he turned around.

"Could I ask you a favor?"

"Sure," Cammie nodded.

"Could you keep that whole thing about not having a GED a secret?"

"Don't get me wrong. I'm good with secrets, the Fort Knox of secrets, actually. But if you want to keep this a secret from Matt and Chris, you might want to reconsider. They're good guys, and whatever you're afraid they will think of you, or say, or do… It won't be that bad. And if it is… Well, let me put it this way: they'd lose a street fight against a seven-year-old."

"Just keep it a secret, okay?" Jess asked her again.

She shrugged her shoulders, muttering something about "your choice".

It wasn't Matt and Chris he was worried about finding out. It was Reg and Jake. If they would take the chance to kick him out for not finding a job immediately, they wouldn't hesitate to kick him out for giving them business advice without even having a GED in his pocket.

"Thanks,"

"You know, you could always get that GED here. You dropped out at the end of senior year, right? You wouldn't even have to be in school that much, and trust me, Pennsylvania schools are pretty okay."

Jess sighed, ignoring Cammie's comment and then left.

He soon found a park bench, sat down and pulled out the legal pad once more. 'Domestic' was scribbled diagonally across the page, and it gave him another mental kick. His hand was moving the pen over the page before he even noticed it.

_Domestic. Cooking food, nutrition, and I'm back behind a counter. I don't know which one really, they intertwine at times, and really, what's the difference? It's still people dropping in, eating like they've never seen food before. Some indulge in eating habits so crazy only divine intervention keeps them from tipping over here and th__ere. So what if this place doesn't have a feisty Italian-American that I can banter with and force to sew bacon together (but only because he screwed up the ham shipment). It doesn't have a relative I can fall back on when and if needed. It has enigma, and I can smell the freedom. She doesn't care that I never finished what some would say to be the most fundamental thing in a young person's life. She doesn't care, and right now I could care even less. Enigma in the creepy dentist house gave me a shot. She's one of few. Maybe even one of three. Subsect._

_Still, it seems I can't get rid of the ones who want to see me trip and fall over. First, I have almost an entire town against me. Then a gang of hippie-dippy skaters. Now… Well, at least the numbers are decreasing. By my next move, whenever that is, perhaps I won't have anyone trying to take me down._

Lost in his thoughts, Jess had no idea how long he had been sitting on that park bench, but when he finally put away his pen, nine pages later, it was dusk. The chilly air had begun to find its way inside his jacket, so he swiftly put away the legal pad and the pen, and headed… Jess couldn't make himself call the shack on Locust Street his home. Temporary resting place sounded wrong too. Back. That was all he could muster up for the place where he wouldn't freeze or get beaten to death this night. And hopefully not the next either. He needed to get on Jake's and Reggie's good side, or he would be out by next weekend. As he trudged up the stairs to the apartment, he got an idea. It had worked before. He gave the door the required lift and pulled it open.

"Hello?" he called out when he'd stepped in and closed the door.

No one answered, so he wandered in, only to find a note on the fridge:

"_Went out for a beer, don't wait up for us!"_

_Jake & Reg"_

Jess was tempted to fill in 'inald' after Reg's name, but reminded himself that he mustn't mess with them. This was perfect though, Matt and Chris were out job hunting, and from the short amount of time Jess had known them, he had a feeling they would be for a while. Jake and Reg were out on town, and every guy knows that 'a beer' translates to 'more than a few'.

"This should be fun to see…" Jess smiled to himself, as he put his plan into action.  


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**  
A/N**: The pretty green-ish button wants you to review. Don't let it down.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N- **So you get to find out Jess' plan to get Jake and Reg on his side in this chapter, enjoy

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"This is stupid," Jake muttered as he and Reg made their way into the apartment building. "I mean, I know why we have to find jobs, but why do we have to find jobs?"

"I know," Reg agreed, as he took the stairs two at a time. "It seems as though whatever Jess says goes. Matt and Chris are so smitten with him, it's weird."

"Yeah but we've seen Matt's instinct work before, so if he believes that the kid has something, then..."

"I know, that paragraph that wasn't about me was pretty good. I wonder what the whole story is about."

"Well, we'll never know unless he sticks around."

"I know, I know," Reg said as they got to their floor and approached the door. "I really hate this door, you know that."

"Just let me do it," Jake suggested.

"No, I have to do it," Reg said as he grabbed hold of the door and braced himself. He turned the knob and pulled upwards, but he wasn't ready and the door swung wide open. Reggie caught himself before he hit the ground and righted himself quickly.

"Nice," Jake exclaimed patting Reggie on the back. "Real smooth."

"Hey, it wasn't me, it was the door," Reg defended.

"The door?" Jake questioned.

"Yeah, I don't know how to explain it but... I think it's fixed."

"No way," Jake said not believing it as he grabbed hold of the door, and sure enough it closed perfectly. "Huh, weird."

"Do you think the renovation elves came and fixed it?"

"No," Jake said surveying the room, and noticing a few tools on the coffee table in front of a sleeping Jess on the couch. "I think he did."

"So Jess is a renovation elf?"

"No, but I assume he fixed the door. The door was broken, Jess came, the door is fixed."

"Makes sense, I guess, but why did he fix the door?" Reg asked confused.

"I have no idea, maybe he has obsessive compulsive disorder and he felt a need to fix it."

"Or maybe he's trying to get on our good side," Reg suggested conspiratorially.

"Well, who cares, you hated that door."

"So?"

"So, should we wake him up?"

"You can, I don't see a reason to."

"What if he doesn't like to be woken up?"

"So I can't believe it," Matt said coming through the door with Chris. "The only place that said they would hire me on the spot was McDonalds and frankly I think that's below me."

"But a job's a job," Chris replied as he saw Jake and Reggie hovering near Jess. "What in the world are you two doing?"

"Debating whether or not to wake Jess," Jake answered.

"Why?" Matt asked confused.

"He fixed the door and we want to know why," Reggie explained.

"The door's fixed?" Chris questioned confused.

"Yeah, you know the one you had to have immense upper brute strength just to open, well now it's just like any ordinary door," Reg explained.

"And Jess did this?"

"Well we've ruled out the renovation elves, so that just leaves Jess, plus we found these tools."

"Where'd they come from?" Matt asked picking up a screw driver. "We don't have tools, do we?"

"Put that down, you can poke someone's eyes out," Jake said, backing away from Matt.

"No, maybe he brought them with him, maybe he's a professional house robber... Oh God, we let him into our house."

"Calm down Reg, there's nothing to steal here. Look, I'll wake him up and we'll get this all figured out," Chris told him.

"Okay," they all agreed and took a step back, Chris eyed them confused.

"We don't think he'll wake up in a happy mood," Jake answered.

"Jess? Jess?" Chris shook him lightly.

"Maybe he's a deep sleeper," Matt suggested. "Take out his earphones."

Chris took out Jess' earphones and they were all blasted with something that could only be described as ear-shattering noise.

"What the hell is that?" Jake asked.

"I don't know," Chris answered. "But maybe we should just let him sleep." They all nodded their head in agreement.

"Oh look," Matt said excitedly. "Jess left his writing book out, and face up."

"I wouldn't read that," Chris told him.

"Shush, you're not Willy Wonka, it's not like I'm going to turn into a giant blueberry, so just zip it," Matt replied as he grabbed Jess' book, and began reading.

"Dude, read it out loud at least," Chris told him.

"Fine, fine," Matt accepted. "_I did it once before, and I'm doing it again. It's basically for the same reasons too. He was my guardian at the time, and I knew I wasn't being fair to him, but it wasn't until she confronted me, yelled at me, that I knew how much this was affecting him and her in turn. So I used my actions to convey what I couldn't say with words. It was something he needed and I fixed it. I denied that it was me, but he knew anyway, of course he knew, no one else would have done it. 'Inanimate obejcts don't usually get better'. But it was a silent agreement between us, and her, they both knew it was me and I knew that they knew, but we never spoke of it again. But it was that action, it said everything that I wanted to say, everything I was afraid to say, it was more than a gesture. It showed my appreciation for him and everything he's done for me, it said everything I was too afraid to say out loud, but what I knew to be true in my heart. So I'm doing it again, letting my actions speak for me. It's worked before and I hope that it works again. I like Philly, I feel as though I fit in here, and that's new, but also terrifying. I want to stay here, and I'll do anything in my power to make that happen. I could do big things here, and that's something, because I've never felt as though I could do anything. I will stay. Subsect._"

"Whoa," The others exclaimed.

"That was intense," Chris said as he sat down on the couch, and effectively onto Jess. "Sorry," Chris apologized as he quickly stood up.

"It's fine," Jess mumbled as he sat up.

"How do you write like this?" Jake asked him confused.

"I don't know, it just comes to me."

"Give us a little something now," Reg demanded.

"You can't just say that," Chris scolded him. "He's not a vending machine that you can put a coin in and expect instant results."

"It's fine," Jess said as he grabbed his iPod and switched it off. "_The music was always loud, always, no exceptions. It had to be loud, it had to block everything out. But more importantly it blasted my eardrums, allowed me no other thought. All I could think about was how loud the music was, and that was good. Thinking was bad, and the music blocked all that out._"

"Look if you're upset over me pulling out your earphones, then I promise not to do it again," Chris said quickly. "We were just trying to wake you up."

"I can't sleep without the music," Jess confessed.

"Did you fix the door?" Reg suddenly asked him.

"Maybe," Jess replied evasively.

"Why?" Reg asked him.

"The door was broken, you actually spent more effort breaking it then it would have been to fix it in the first place."

"But-" Reg began again.

"Look, let's just move on okay," Jess cut him off. "How'd the job search go?"

"Well Matt's looking at a fulfilling career at McDonalds," Chris told Jess excitedly.

"Well it's a start, what about you Chris?"

"Umm, nothing yet."

"Jake, Reg?"

"We found a record store that's hiring," Jake told him. "We both went for it, but there's only one spot, so only one of us will get it if we get it."

"Okay, so you haven't gotten far."

"Hey," Reg protested. "What about you?"

"I start at eight tomorrow at the coffee house."

"Cammie gave him a job?" Jake questioned. "How'd he manage to swing that?"

"Maybe he has some job hunting tips for us," Matt suggested. "What do we do Jess?"

"Okay, McDonalds," Jess said pointing at Matt. "Wal-Mart," He said pointing at Chris. "I can maybe hook you up with that. Now Jake and Reg, whoever doesn't get the record store job I'd suggest audio department of Target or K-Mart. What you guys have got to understand is one, it's easier to find another job once you have one; two, you're going to be bringing in more money than you already are; and three, if we get enough money to get Locust Publishing off the ground and start earning an income from it, well then we can drop our jobs and just work there. Now excuse me, I'm going back to sleep." Jess turned his iPod back on and settled back down on the couch.

"Why's he so wise?" Jake asked confused. "He knows everything."

"Maybe the answers in here," Matt said motioning towards Jess' writing book. "Jess didn't seem to mind that I had it, so I don't think he'll mind if we have a look at it."

"Kitchen table," Chris suggested, and they all agreed. They all sat down and Matt opened the book to the beginning.

"_So I ran, fled to the other coast, to Cali, to the man that fathered me, to whatever was there,_" Matt read from Jess' book. "_But even on the opposite coast you came to me. Little reminders, blue and books and fries, and I willfully ignored them, letting my nicked board take me faster through the jammed boardwalks._"

"Stop skipping parts," Jake said to him.

"I'm not reading it all out loud, so shut it," Matt retorted. "_Experiments. I was drawn to them, so maybe that's why I ended up in that Town. It was an experiment, from the town limits to the centre square. A crazy collective, a kind of sect that had forgotten what it was. I tried to get out, but got stuck in blue.- Subsect. Philadelphia, Philly. After spending a night on a park bench, I am still not running away, there's just something about this place. It could be its similarities to New York, I was starting to forget how to watch my back, small towns do that to you._"

"You're confusing me," Reg told Matt. "And giving me a headache. Nothing's in order, just make it make sense."

"We're losing him," Chris told Matt amused.

"Okay, so here's what we have," Matt explained. "Jess has lived in New York, California, some small town which could be anywhere, and now Philadelphia... well that's if this story's even about him."

"Of course it is," Jake said. "You heard him with the music thing before, he spoke about it so easily, and then told us that he can't sleep without the music."

"What else do we have?" Reg asked.

"He keeps referencing a 'her' and blue, maybe she wore blue, or her name had something to do with blue," Matt explained.

"I bet it was that girlfriend he said he had for two years," Chris said excitedly.

"Yeah, but where does she live?" Jake asked.

"Wait, thought coming in," Chris said dramatically. "She wasn't from California, he said she was from... C... Connecticut... I think."

"So is it a small town in Connecticut then?" Reg asked.

"Must be," Matt answered. "He always mentions her when he mentions the small town."

"This is still confusing," Reg said. "Can't we just wait for him to finish it and for him to put it in order?"

"Let me just read one more," Matt said. "I've found a good one."

"Isn't this an invasion of his privacy?" Jake asked.

"No," Matt replied. "If Jess gets this published then it will be out there for the whole world to see, so?"

"So, forget I said anything," Jake told him.

"Okay, I'm assuming this one's about us," Matt told them. "_I used to be the underdog. Everywhere I lived, everywhere I worked, everywhere I went. I was the underdog. Everyone was smarter, had better morals, and weren't screwed up in the head. They knew more than me, not in smarts, but in life. But now the tables have turned. Subsect. Philadelphia. A run down publishing house. Four guys who want to follow their dreams but don't know how. I'm not the underdog here. I'm the one with the experience, they, they need me. I don't know much, but I know more than them, and that's what counts. I could take the high road, the one which I've traveled so many times before because of my pride, but I'm not going to. They need my help, but furthermore I want to help them reach their dreams, my dreams. Everyone deserves to reach their dreams._"

"Say what you want about him," Chris told Jake and Reggie. "But Jess seems to care about us. He's not here to screw us over, he really wants to help us. Sure he's helping himself in the process, but he's helping us too."

"Plus he fixed the door," Matt added. "Just give him a chance."

"We are not making any promises," Jake answered.

"But we see where you're coming from," Reg added. "And we will treat him accordingly."

"Will treat him accordingly? What are you... gay?" Matt asked him.

"No, of course not," Reg replied.

"Very convincing there," Chris told him.

"Why's he asleep?" Jake asked them confused, looking at Jess asleep on the couch.

"Because unlike us he has a job to go to in the morning," Chris told them.

"Did he even eat?" Jake asked them concerned. "He looks a little thin."

"We'll make sure he eats breakfast," Matt promised.

"And plus with at least Jess having a job we'll be able to stock our cupboards with food, instead of asking Cammie for free muffins," Chris told them.

"We really need to find jobs soon," Jake said.

"Yeah," Reg agreed. "No more slacking off anymore. We don't want to disappoint Jess now, do we?"

"Well he does believe in us," Matt told them placing Jess' legal pad in the center of the table. "His writing says it all."

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**A/N- **You know the drill, read and review, though if you're at the end of the page and you haven't read it, then frankly that's a little weird, but good weird, review anyway, but hopefully you have read the chapter


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N**: As always, thanks you for your reviews, they make us all kinds of happy! Enjoy chapter 7.

**Disclaimer**: We do not own any of the characters associated with Gilmore Girls, but we own Cammie, 'cause she's absolutely kick ass cool.

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A screeching sound made Jess sit up straight. He didn't remember setting the alarm on his phone. On the other hand he didn't really remember his phone's alarm sounding like that either. He did remember falling asleep on the sofa, and waking up when Chris fell on him. He also remembered talking to them about jobs before falling asleep again. Job. Jess groaned and sat up straight, hoping he wasn't late.

The screeching sound was still going off, and he looked around. Beside the sofa he finally found the source of the offensive sound, an old-style alarm clock, with a post-it note on it:

_Good morning!_

_Breakfast is in the fridge._

_// Your co-habitants_

_P.S Chris asked if you could hook him up at Wal Mart._

Jess smiled, shaking his head, wondering where the hell they found the clock. Making his way into the kitchen, he thought about how to make Chris an employee at Wal Mart. He'd definitely call his old boss in Hartford, see if he could pull some strings. Then he'd have to talk to Chris, see if he could get him to at least try to appear like employment-material. Right now they needed all the money they could get their hands on if the publishing company was ever going to become more than a dream in a rundown business space.

"Locust Publishing…" Jess muttered to himself. "Well, at least it's something…"

He opened the fridge, finding a ham-sandwich, some yoghurt and a bottle of orange juice waiting for him. Working and living with Luke had at least given him a slightly refined palate, and after taking his first bite of the sandwich, he quickly decided to claim cooking duty, and save them all from having to digest something that could be possibly lethal. Jess quickly discarded the sandwich and instead took plenty of yoghurt and the juice. Sitting down at the kitchen table, he found his note pad there, opened somewhere in the middle. It didn't take Jess long to understand that they had read it. But how much had they understood? Had they gathered that he hadn't finished high school? Did they understand why he kept going back to blue? Had they… Had they read the last part? Part of Jess wished they hadn't, it was embarrassing as it was to try to show these guys that he wasn't a complete idiot, but on the other hand, he felt that reading that part was the only way for these guys to understand him.

He glanced over towards a clock in the form of an old vinyl LP. Half past seven. He might as well get moving, show up early on his first day and get some brownie points. He took his writing pad, put on the leather jacket and snuck out of the apartment. Philly was as chilly as ever, and the late April sky was a light shade of gray as he walked the few blocks over to the coffee store. This new place of his was growing on him. The right amount of city to make him feel safe in his anonymity, but with the right amount of people knowing about him to make him feel comfortable. New York had been too big, too bustling, too much trouble, and Stars Hollow had been just the opposite, plus trouble. Philadelphia had yet to let him down, and he wished hard that it wouldn't.

Inside the coffee shop, Jess could see Cammie zooming in and out from behind the counter, and he tapped a couple of times on the door window to get her attention. Seconds later, the door swung open.

"Okay, note to self: you need your own key," Cammie said when she ushered him in.

"And good morning to you too," Jess responded, mock-sarcastic.

"No time for greetings, my supplier was late, again I might add, and I tanned his ass so hard he didn't know what hit him! Now I have to get everything in order before I'm supposed to open, which would be in twenty minutes, so sorry Jess. No greetings."

"Okay, take a breath, and show me your storage room and I'll take care of your supplies. Go wipe some tables and don't stop breathing."

"Wow, that's very manly of you. A little more muscle and the ladies will crumble at your feet," Cammie smiled. "If only they did that for me… You think the dark mysterious thing actually works as a general rule, or is it something personal for you?"

"I have no idea, since I'm not playing the dark mysterious card as a general rule," Jess replied. "What did I just tell you?"

"Right," she said, and pointed towards the counter. "Storage is that way. Impossible to miss. Big door, slightly chilly inside, lots of cookies and stuff. I'll be over there, wiping tables and pretending I'm very domestic."

Unlike Luke, Cammie didn't seem to have any kind of system for storing her supplies, so when Jess got started, he ended up creating one, and it took him a bit longer to get everything inside the storage room. Cammie, of course, wasn't late to notice he'd been gone too long.

"What are you..?" she began as she entered the room. She stopped dead as she saw the neat rows of ground coffee, cookie boxes and other goods stacked on the shelves.

"What did you do?" she asked, astounded.

"Your system, or rather lack thereof, decided to rebel against you," Jess replied simply.

"It rebelled against me? All on its own?"

"It's not my fault your system was very conniving. The coffee had issues with the lemon-meringue pie, and that started it."

"And you helped everyone out?"

"Yup."

"And everyone is happy now?"

"I'd say so."

"Then why is the Rocky Road tucked away in that corner without anyone to keep them company? Didn't they want to play with my chocolate chips?" Cammie asked, looking amused at Jess.

"Rocky Road had a 'tude," Jess replied curtly, adding silently to himself: "Much like the tall idiot that liked them…"

"You have the strangest things going on in that head of yours… So if my storage is systematized, maybe we can move on to customer care?"

Jess nodded, and followed Cammie out into the coffee shop.

It was easy for him to get behind the counter and serve customers, easier than he'd thought it would be. There were no Kirks who couldn't decide what to order, no Ceasars who forgot the ham, no coffee addicts who would stumble in at regular intervals and demand caffeine in whatever form that would give them their fix quickest. This was a normal coffee shop with normal customers.

It was a pretty slow day, and Jess had time to sit down every now and then to write. Matt turned up just after noon to declare that he'd taken the job at McDonald's, and that Jake had gotten the job at the record store that him and Reg had told Jess about. Reg was out scouting if Target or K-Mart were hiring, and Chris was still hoping for his Wal Mart career to kick off.

"Tell Chris I'll call my old manager from Hartford and ask around, and I'll try to have something for him in a day or so," Jess told Matt.

"I'll tell him at the publishing house. We're supposed to put out a new copy of the Zine on Friday, so we have some editing to do. How's the writing going?"

Jess looked down at the two pages he'd written while taking his lunch break.

_I'm not a big joiner, no one ever asks me. I was never asked if I wanted to move away from everything familiar I had ever known, and when I did hardly anyone wished me welcome to my new home. Or purgatory, as I first called it. Like some things in life, __they came along without being really wanted. Chicken pox. Flu. Me. Subsect. I kind of liked it, though. They ignored me most of the time, I ignored them all the time. Almost all of them. The magic of blue, shining sapphires that pierced through all of my defenses. Blue could not be neglected._

"You know, you could have asked if you could read my stuff," Jess said instead of answering the question.

"Hey, you left it open, right in the middle, face up. For us that was an open invitation to dig around that mind of yours," Matt replied cockily.

"We?"

"What can I say? We're a nosy bunch, sue us. And while you're at it, stop avoiding the question. How's your writing going?"

"It's going…" Jess began, searching for the right word.

"It's going..?" Matt echoed.

"Forward," he decided.

"Forward's good," Matt said, looking encouragingly at him. "Okay, so we'll see you after work. Keep that pen going."

"Keep moving towards the door, or I'll come up with a reason not to serve you tomorrow."

Matt was out of the coffee shop like lightning, and Jess smirked to himself. It felt oddly good to be able to boss around with Chris and Matt. They were so dependent on coffee it was ridiculous, and they didn't even do much during the days. How crazed would they become once they had jobs?

"I feel so left behind," Cammie said behind him.

"Excuse me?" Jess said and turned around.

"I've been dying to know what you've been writing all day, but I didn't bother to ask, since I though it was something personal, and then he stomps in and says that him, Chris, Reg and Jake have all read it."

"So?"

"I want to read what you've written," Cammie said and pouted. "Please..?"

"It's personal," Jess replied curtly.

"So personal that you let those guys read it?"

"I was asleep, and they invaded my privacy."

"Your face up, open-in-the-middle-of-a-common-room privacy?"

"I thought they'd know better than to nose around in others' stuff. Clearly, I was mistaken."

"Clearly," Cammie echoed, still pouting.

"Fine then, read it," Jess relented. "But only because you said please."

"You're such a wimp, you totally can't say no to me!" Cammie cheered.

"Probably because it would be completely futile to try and resist. Just don't spread it around, it's not like I'm in for the Nobel Literature Prize."

"Fine, I won't say a word."

Won't say a word. Don't say a word.

"Cammie, can I have the pad back?"

"But you said I could read it!" she protested.

"You'll have it back in a few minutes, I just need to… I just need it," Jess urged.

Cammie hesitantly gave him the pad, and he went to sit down by one of the corner tables. His pen was moving rapidly over an empty page.

_Under a weeping willow, by a lake, the spitting image of something taken out of some sleazy romance novel, I came undone. Blue came out of nowhere, and for five seconds, I knew exactly what heaven was. It was blue, shorter than me, all peaches and cream, dressed in dark turquoise, and it ripped me apart with five words: Don't say a word._

_And I was stupid enough to say 'okay'. Stupid enough to get my hopes up, and all I got for this meaningful gesture was nothing. Silence. Blue went away, and I waited in vain for a sign that there had been a purpose behind my visit to heaven. Now I know; there wasn't._

Ten minutes later he handed Cammie the pad.

"Read it for what it is," Jess told her. "Do not analyze it, please. I've already got four amateur Freuds on my case, and that's four too many."

"I'll be as un-Freud as I can. Though he might have a thing or two to say to me. That would be some session."

"Yeah, Freud would give up hopes that psychoanalysis would ever make sense with you."

"Jess, you really don't want to get into psychoanalysis with me. I was supposed to major in psychology before I decided it was basically useless for me."

"So you changed major?" Jess asked.

"Nope, I didn't major at all."

"So you're just floating around, not having a major?"

"I'm not doing the college-thing at all. When psychology skipped out of the picture I couldn't find anything that seemed just as fun and interesting as it should have been. Don't get me wrong, I want to go to college, I just want to go because it's fun and interesting, not because it's expected," Cammie explained.

"And just when I thought all hope was lost on you, you finally begin to make a little sense…" Jess joked.

"Back to work, slave," Cammie quipped with a playful smile.

"Yeah, in a minute. I just need to call someone."

"Your secret girlfriend?"

"My former boss."

"Are you going to leave me already?"

"It's for a favor."

"So you're not leaving me?" Cammie asked, looking at him with puppy dog eyes.

"You are four," Jess responded.

"You're four and a half."

Cammie skipped off, and Jess pulled out his cellphone. For some insane reason he hadn't erased the number to the Hartford Wal Mart, and he just hoped that Bill Borden would still be working there. He hit the dial-button, and waited.

"Hey, this is Jess Mariano," he said when a lady answered. "Could I speak with Bill Borden, please, he should be the manager at… Oh. Okay, I can wait."

It was quiet for some time before he could hear the phone being picked up on the other end.

"Jess, long time, no hear!" Bill boomed. "To what do I owe this pleasure? You want your job back?"

"Not exactly…" Jess said, hoping for the best. "I sort of need a favor…"

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**A/N**: The review button beckons you to leave a review and send us through the roof with joy. We know you read this, so you may just as well drop us a review. Makes us update faster, and that's what you want, yes?


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N**: Another chapter, enjoy. Until further notice, _ICanSeeYourFace_ will write this fic. _Kassandra27_ is taking a holiday from writing as soon as she's done with her own fics, but I've told her (repeatedly) that she's welcome back in whenever she wants, and she's promised to review and come with suggestions, so all's still well in Cedar Park-land. Okay, nothing more. Go on, read!

**Disclaimer**: Do not own. Except for Cammie. She's ours.

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_Previously on_ Cedar Park_:_

"_Jess, long time, no hear!" Bill boomed. "To what do I owe this pleasure? You want your job back?"_

"_Not exactly…" Jess said, hoping for the best. "I sort of need a favor…"_

"Shoot."

"I have this friend, Chris, and he's looking for a job, here in Philadelphia, at Wal-Mart."

"What are you doing in Philadelphia?"

"I'm working... And writing," Jess replied hesitantly.

"I see."

"So I was just wondering if you had any connections down here, in the Cedar Park area. It wouldn't have to be a job, if my guy just got a shot, an interview, anything, it would be great."

"I don't know Jess, sure you were a good employee, great even, but I don't even know the guy I'm recommending."

"Well, I understand," Jess replied defeated. He really wanted to get Chris a job.

"Jess, get off the phone," Cammie yelled at him from the counter.

"I'm on my break," Jess replied testily. "Sorry Mr. Borden, but, hey thanks anyway."

"No problem Jess," he hung up the phone.

"So how'd the talk go, is Chris an employee at Wal-Mart?" Cammie asked him when he came back out.

"No, not yet at least. I should've known, though," he sighed, and went over to wait some tables.

Jess was moody the rest of the day, it bugged him that he hadn't managed to get Chris the job. It meant that he'd go back to being a disappointment, and he had really wished for that feeling of uselessness to go away with this new city. For a moment, he even considered striking a deal with Cammie about giving Chris his job and go after something else. It was a good idea in theory, until he added in Cammie's flamboyant personality and Chris' obvious crush on her. He abandoned that idea, trying to come up with other companies that might be hiring. Any of the fastfood joints in town were probably hiring, but Chris seemed like the guy aiming for something more. On the other hand, all of them were aiming for something more. Reg was gunning for Target or K-Mart, and Jess felt it was enough for Reg to have to lose out to Jake over the record store gig.

By the end of his workday, he still hadn't come up with anything, not even how to break the news to Chris. He'd never been good with telling the truth, especially uncomfortable truths, he always ended up screwing things up. He hadn't even been able to admit to Luke that he'd fixed the toaster, how the hell was he going to tell Chris that Wal-Mart wouldn't be waiting for him?

He was nervous as he prepared to go home. He wanted to put it off so badly. Jess spotted his writing pad on a small table a few feet away. Obviously, Cammie had began reading already. Smiling, he pulled out his pen from his jeanspocket, and took the pad from the table, sitting down on a bench.

_One down, many more to go. I don't know what to think of this. In a way, I'm glad it's just as I expected it to be, a normal gig, with __only a minor dose of crazy. Still, I find myself missing the days when I had a crazy gig with almost no normal sprinkled on top. I contributed to the crazy in my own way, mimicking a behaviour most often found in four-year-olds, but that also exhibits in at least one thirty-something-woman. I know it was stupid of me, but it was reflexes. I made up a story about it all, blaming the Rocky Road for having a 'tude. Truth is, I can't stand them. I nearly OD'ed on a particularly shitty version of them when I was a kid, but that's not the reason they were left outside the cozy little gathering in the storage room. I hid them in a dark corner so I wouldn't be reminded of the tall jerk every time I look at them. Milk and cookies and blue, he had it all. I never had milk, I never had good cookies, and I lost blue. I was the one in the dark corner then. Subsect. Having some form of control makes me feel absurdly good. Enigma snickered at me, unable to see the complicated, and highly childish reasoning behind it. She teased me endlessly for it through my day, even managing to coax me into letting her take part of my inner thoughts. She has a sway over me, too. That's why I'll happily go back to work tomorrow. And the day after. _

_My control is only imagined._

Satisfied, he shrugged into the leather jacket, shoved the pad inside and headed out. He absentmindedly told Cammie goodbye, and began walking. He dragged his feet, trying to prolong the trip home. But no matter how hard he tried not to go home, he soon turned in on Locust Street, and he could see the rundown house where they lived. He was just about to unlock the front door, when his phone rang.

"Mariano," Jess answered, not looking at the called-ID.

"Jess, it's Bill."

"Mr. Borden…" Jess began.

"How many times did I tell you? Call me Bill," Bill laughed at the other end. "Anyway, I'm calling about the favor you asked me for."

"Yes?" Jess was suddenly on edge, had Bill changed his mind?

"Well, I made a call, I figured you'd be a good judge of character, so your guy can't be too terrible. I might have something for him."

Jess was just about ready to break into dancing, but he settled for a huge sigh of relief.

"Thank you so much, Bill, really, this has taken a load off my shoulders."

"No trouble at all, Jess. Just know that your guy has to start at the very bottom, I couldn't swing him anything better than a position as a door greeter. The rest is all up to him, he needs to show that he really wants and deserves the job," Bill warned him.

"Believe me, motivation is not an issue," Jess replied, hoping that he wouldn't have to resort to threats to make Chris understand that this was not something to joke away.

"Alright then, you can tell your guy to call the Wal-Mart on South Columbus Boulevard, and ask for Charlie."

Bill gave Jess the number, which he scribbled down onto his writing pad. He thanked Bill profusely again, before they said their goodbyes and ended the call. Quickly, he unlocked the door, and stepped in. Chris was on him before the door was even closed.

"How'd it go, have I joined the ranks of the employed?" Chris rambled, shaking Jess just a tad bit too hard.

"Relax, Chris, it's not a life and death situation…"

Chris let go of him, and stood nervously by his side. Jess found this very entertaining, taking his time hanging his jacket, kicking off his shoes and placing them neatly under the coat rack.

"Come on, man, you're killing me!"

"Yeah, likewise," Jess retorted, holding back a snicker.

"Spit it out already, he's been bugging the hell out of me all day!" Matt yelled from the kitchen.

"Fine…My old boss pulled some strings…"

"Yes!" Chris yelled, jubilant.

"Tone it down. You have to start from the bottom, door greeter," Jess told him, silently imagining how this would make Luke laugh.

"I'll take it, I mean, how hard can it be?"

"Chris, my old boss went out on a limb with this, not exactly anyone would recommend a total stranger because an old employee tells him that said dude needs a job. Don't screw this up."

"I won't, I promise. I'll be the best damn door greeter Wal-Mart's ever seen," Chris said, looking all giddy and excited.

"Good, 'cause my ass is on the line too. If you mess up and it gets back to Bill, it reflects badly on me."

"Chill out, Jess, I won't screw this up."

"Okay, enough about him, how do I look?" Matt said, coming out into from the kitchen.

He was dressed up in full McDonald's-attire, complete with a black cap with the McDonald's-logo on it. Jess and Chris just looked at him, trying to stifle their laughs.

"You look… very professional," Jess ventured, fighting the imminent laugh attack.

"Yeah, totally," Chris agreed, obviously losing the fight against the laugh. "The cap is A-class."

"Shut up, dork, it's for the job. When I'm done I'm gonna burn it in a ceremonial fire."

"Can I try on the cap?"

"No, I have to go, or I'll be late."

"Don't be like that, Matt, come on," Chris coaxed.

But Matt was adamant, which only made Chris more intent on getting his hands on it. With a swift move, he swiped the cap off Matt's head, and held it high into the air. With Chris being slightly taller than Matt, and definitely having longer arms, the scene soon had Jess guffawing with laughter. Chris was fighting it too, holding the cap high up, while Matt jumped futilely up and down to get it back. Chris soon caved, bending over with laughter, while Matt angrily snatched his cap out of Chris' hand and stomped out out the apartment, slamming the door.

"You know he's gonna get you for that, right?" Jess said, still snickering.

"I'm counting on it!" Chris replied.

The door opened again, and Reg and Jake walked in. They looked from Jess to Chris, settling on Chris.

"The cap?" Jake asked, smiling widely.

"Mm-hm," Chris confirmed, beaming.

"You are evil," Reg said, trying to sound serious, but failing miserably.

"The cap told me to do it. Who am I to deny a cap with one of the world's largest fastfood chain's logo on it?"

"How'd the day go?" Jess asked.

"Man, the record store is stellar, totally awesome! They have everything, and the guy running it is some sort of legend or something. There's going to be a signing in a week or two, I can totally hook you guys up with that," Jake told them excitingly. "I mostly did inventory, found a copy of Deep Purple's debut album, mint condition."

"And you Reg?"

"Nothing. I tried anything I could find that looked like they might be hiring," Reg replied gloomily.

"Target? K-Mart?"

"I said 'anything', didn't I?"

"Zone was so cool, apparantly…" Jake rambled on.

"Zone?" Chris asked, confused.

"My boss," Jake explained.

"Your boss' name is Zone?"

"He's awesome! Basically, I get to hang out, listen to kick ass music and serve customers, cool customers."

"Yeah, yeah, your job is stellar, your boss is stellar, we get it," Reg muttered sourly.

"Hey, no need to be jealous, Reggie, I got that job, fair and square," Jake told him, his tone slightly aggressive. "It's not my fault you…"

"Okay, to your corners guys, or I'll take away your toys," Jess warned, stepping between the two.

Reg and Jake looked sternly at one another, before Jake walked off into his room, shutting the door with a bang.

"Wow, you guys sure hate doors," Jess commented. "Chris, I've got the phone number to someone named Charlie. Call him tomorrow, and don't mess up. I'm going to catch some z's."

Jess gave Chris the number, and went over to the sofa, popped in the earpieces of his mp3-player and sank back, letting the loud music blast him right to sleep.

"Well, this suck royally," Reg sighed. "Everyone has a job but me, way to be a loser…"

"Stop it Reggie, whining doesn't get you anywhere."

"Neither does job hunting, apparantly."

"You've been out hunting for a job for what? A day?"

"Jess pulled some insane mental stunt with Cammie, got him a job. Matt walked into a McDonald's and got hired. Jake got the record store job just like that, and Jess hooked you up with Wal-Mart. I'm the only one here trying to get a job."

"Why don't you ask Jess then? Like you said, he hooked me up with Wal-Mart, maybe he could get you something, too?"

"You think?" Reg asked sceptically.

They peeked into the livingroom, where Jess lay sprawled out on the sofa, sleeping. They could hear the Metallica-song playing clear as day.

"Can't hurt to ask, can it?" Chris said. "On the bright side, if you don't get anything, you can be in charge of the publishing house. Won't perhaps be that lucrative, but it's something to do at least."

"Jess'd better be a freaking miracle man…" Reg muttered. "Fine, I'll ask him tomorrow."

"That's my guy. So, what do you say about waiting up for Matt to come home and tease him mercilessly for the cap?" Chris said with a devilish grin, holding up his hand.

Reg hesitated for a few seconds, then high-fived Chris' hand.

"You're on."

* * *

**A/N**: I'm not well-acquainted with American stores, I basically know Target, Wal-Mart, and now K-Mart, so any Americans reading this, give me some suggestions for workplaces (doens't need to be stores a'la Target et al, I'm open for anything) where I can put poor Reg. He is so needy. Help him out, pretty please?


	9. Chapter 9

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**A/N**: Thank you for your reviews, it means a lot to get them, keeps the writing going. After a rather long and slightly silly battle, Reg caved and accepted the job I offered him. I mean, how hard should it be to get a fictional character a job? Anyhoo, the matter's been resolved, so you can all move on to enjoy chapter 9!

**Disclaimer**: Do not own. 'Cause if that were the case, Jess would have made one final appearance on the show.

* * *

The mp3-player's batteries died out sometime after midnight, after which Jess had trouble sleeping for any longer than half an hour. By the time the alarm clock rang again at seven, Jess had already been up and about for two hours, deciding that he wouldn't get any more sleep no matter how hard he tried. He'd plugged in the charger for the mp3-player, and waited for time to pass. He had never been good with just sitting down waiting, and the irregular snores emanating from the room that Matt and Chris shared made him even more restless. Silently, Jess wandered around the livingroom, picked up his pad from where he had left it by the clock, and moved on to the kitchen. Through the kitchen window, he could see it was still dark outside, though the faint light of the sun was fighting at the horizon. He took a seat by the kitchen table, flipping the pad open. He didn't feel like writing, instead he read through his scattered notes, trying to be objective, but failing miserably. It was only the alarm clock's shrieking at seven that kept him from either editing out more than half of the story or throwing the whole thing away.

He hurried out into the living room, and gave the clock a hard slam to make the alarm stop. He could hear a muffled groan from Reg and Jake's room, while the snores continued in the other. Checking that the alarm was really off, Jess returned to the kitchen, opening the fridge. Someone, and he had a strong suspicion it would be him, needed to do some grocery shopping. The fridge was essentially empty, save for juice, yoghurt, some milk that smelled like it was getting old and cheese.

"How can they be alive, there's nothing in here…" Jess muttered, taking out juice and yoghurt.

"We mostly eat take out."

Jess flinched, managing to get juice on his t-shirt. Reg stood by the table, smirking at him. Apparantly, the alarm clock had woken him up.

"Sorry for waking you," Jess said, as he took out a glass and a bowl from a cabinet above the sink.

"No worries, I'm kind of an early bird," Reg replied, sitting down by the table. "Writing something?" he asked, spotting the pad.

"Pondering whether I should edit or not."

"Right… How's that going for you?"

"I was pretty partial to throwing the entire thing away when the alarm went off," Jess said, sitting down opposite Reg.

"Matt would've thrown a fit, it's good the clock intervened. I think Chris and me messed with him a bit too much when he came home from work, having you throw away your story would've given him an aneurysm."

"More of the hat?"

"And some not-so-subtle references about a certain yellow and red clown. You should've seen him, he was tomato red, and looked like he was about to explode."

"Yeah? Chris is so gonna suffer when Matt take out his revenge."

"I'm counting on it," Reg smiled.

The conversation ended after that. Jess ate his breakfast quickly, leaving Reg in the kitchen, taking the pad with him. After changing into a new shirt, he peeked into the kitchen again to say goodbye to Reg.

"You going out job hunting today again?" Jess asked him.

"What other choice do I have? Matt asked me to go by HQ, make sure everything's ready for printing tomorrow, but that won't take long," Reg replied gloomily.

"Okay… I'll keep my fingers crossed."

"Thanks."

Jess nodded, and hurried out. It was lighter outside, the sky a perfect blue. The walk to the coffee shop felt much easier today, Chris had gotten his opportunity, and would probably not make a total ass out of himself.

Cammie was waiting for him by the door when he turned the last corner.

"I know, I know, I promised you a key, and I swear I was going to give it to you, but then you gave me your writing, and I don't know what happened between that and you going home, with the pad I might add, but you will get your key," she babbled, looking apologetically at him.

"I know they say all you need is love, but I'd say oxygen's pretty important,too. I feel like I'm repeating myself, but you gotta remember to breathe. And don't worry about the key, I didn't even remember you were supposed to give me one, but now that you mention it, I'd gladly accept one."

"You should've come to Philadelphia earlier, Jess, thing's would've been a lot easier."

Jess didn't answer immediatly. Earlier would have been… wrong. Earlier would have been the wrong time, like so much else had been the wrong time, in pretty much every way imaginable.

"Jess?"

"What?"

"Did you hear me there?" Cammie wondered.

"I did."

"But the part of your brain that regularly spits out quippy responses decided to take a nap?"

Jess sighed inwardly.

"It wouldn't have been easier," he replied curtly, stepping inside.

He left Cammie by the door, walking towards the backrooms to change. Great, it was going to be one of _those_ day. Nothing would go right, and everything would suck, despite the good start.. Since the entire day was going to be a disaster in some form, it wouldn't hurt to take a breather. He pulled out his pad and his pen and started writing.

_Earlier. Words and situations that didn't match, disconnected for some reason or other. Why were we so right and so unquestionably wrong? You were wrong about me, I was never what you truly desired. I was never safe, never accepted, never really connected. Yes, I knew all the books in your bookshelf, I knew who you'd modeled your snow woman after. Yes, I knew you were drawn to me, how you thought we'd be good for each other, a perfect symbiosis. Subsect. I was irrational, irresponsible, insane. My do-overs sucked, and left us even more broken than before. I should've known. Relationships are not as easyly fixed as toasters or doors, and I was never one for solving puzzles. Earlier would never have worked, and later is simply way too late._

"Jess!"

Cammies shout interrupted him from his writing. He knew nothing good could come out of this day, but he couldn't afford getting on Cammie's bad side, couldn't let her down.

"Coming!" he yelled back, leaving his pad on the same table where he'd found it yesterday. She could read it if she wanted to.

The entire morning was busy, and when lunchtime came around it got impossibly worse. Jess was testy, and had to fight the urge to snap at every other customer. Suddenly, every person walking through the door turned into Kirk on a bad day. Still, he managed to get through rush hour without dumping coffee over someone, though it had been close when someone named Fred, apparantly a regular, began testing his patience. He wasn't as bad as Kirk could be, Jess decided, but hadn't Cammie intervened, Fred would have found himself drenched in hot coffee.

"Someone got up on the wrong foot today…" Cammie said hesitantly when they both had time over to sit down and take a break.

"For once I got up on the right foot, I'm just having a shitty day in general," Jess replied sourly.

"I know rush hour can be tough…"

"It has nothing to do with rush hour, though I can't say it helps…"

"Then what?"

"Have you ever fixed a toaster?"

"Do I look like some sort of mr. Fix-It?" Cammie asked with a smile.

Jess smirked. Cammie looked like the kind of person that would inflict more damage on something already broken simply by trying to fix it. That, and her ensemble for the day (emerald green and neon yellow top, black jeans and the sparkly Converse shoes) pretty much gave Jess the impression she'd rather buy a new toaster than try to fix one that was broken.

"Fine," he admitted. "Have you ever fixed anything that looked fairly complicated, but in the end it wasn't that hard?"

"I guess… I managed to change tires on my car without breaking anything."

"Fixing a toaster isn't that hard either. I wish some other things were as simple."

"Like what?" Cammie wondered.

"Like…" Jess began, but was interrupted by the sound of someone coming in through the door.

"Jess?" Reg called out.

Jess smiled furtively, and went out to greet Reg.

"Hey, Jess," Reg said confidently.

"Reg," he greeted. "Found anything yet?"

Apparantly, that was the wrong question. Whatever confidence Reg had scrounged up, it left his face the instant he was asked about his job hunting.

"That's sort of why I'm here… I was wondering if maybe… I don't know… Maybe you could help me out?"

"How? I can't call my old boss and ask for another favor. I'm sorry, Reg, but I have no other favors to call in, unless you'd consider going to California and get cooked in a hot dog stand."

"Cali's too far away," Reg muttered. "You can't do anything?"

"Hey, I'm on your turf, I have no contacts here, and the Wal-Mart gig was a stroke of luck. What places did you go to today?"

"Nothing you'd know the name of. Small places, I tried every shop I came across around here."

Jess sighed.

"Reg, I really can't help you get a job… But you've got to understand that small places aren't as likely to take on new employees as big firms. You should also consider trying to find something outside of Cedar Park."

"Like what?"

"Okay, so some of the skaters I met in Cali told me that they used to get small jobs on the university campuses. There are bookshops and cafés and God knows what that need personnel. That's about the only thing I can think of. And no, I won't help you. I may have gotten Chris the opportunity, but he had to call and formally get interviewed and hired. You can't have someone else do that for you, since you're the one they're supposed to hire."

"Right, didn't think of that… It just seemed so easy for Chris…" Reg mused. "Okay, I'll go check some bookstores close to campus, see if I can score something."

"That's the spirit," Jess joked, and waved Reg goodbye.

"Jess!" Cammie then yelled.

During his talk with Reg, Cammie had stayed in the backroom. Jess followed her voice, finding her reading his story.

"You screeched?"

Cammie peered at him, making a face, before speaking:

"Who is she?"

"Excuse me?"

"The girl you're writing about all the time, the one with the blue eyes and a possibly unhealthy influence over you?"

It was as if someone had poured cold water over him. Jess felt as if he couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't do anything besides thinking "She knows." But that was ridiculous, what could Cammie know? Fine, he wrote about a girl, Cammie couldn't know it was Rory, it was a statistical impossibility. She only knew what he had written, and it wasn't that specific, really.

"She's… someone," Jess replied when he felt he'd regained mental control over the situation.

"Girlfriend?"

"No."

"Ex-girlfriend?"

"I'd really rather not talk about it."

"Ex-girlfriend, then. Cute?"

"Don't push it," Jess growled.

"Definitely cute. So, Calfornia, Connecticut or New York?"

"I told you not to analyze this!"

He swiftly snapped the pad from Cammie's hands, spending the rest of the workday with it close by, refusing to answer any of Cammie's questions with more then a grunt. Not even when she said goodbye at the end of the day did he relent. She had promised not to analyze it, to just read it, and overlook the deeper, underlying things. Why did she have to look deeper?

He was still sulking when came to the apartment. Halfway home he'd remembered he was supposed to go shopping for groceries, but he hadn't felt like doing any kind of shopping. He unlocked the door, quietly opening it and stepping in.

"Jess? Is that you, or am I talking to a door?" Reg called from the livingroom.

"I'm here," he replied loud enough for Reg to hear.

"Great news, man, I got it!"

Reg came to meet him, beaming widely.

"The job?"

"Yeah! It was a bit touch and go, but the university bookstore hired when I mentioned I ran a publishing house with you guys. First day tomorrow!"

"Congrats, Reggie," Jess replied in a neutral voice, feeling a bit better.

Reg frowned, apparantly expecting a more excited reply.

"Anything happen?"

"Bad day, nothing more."

"You didn't get fired or anything, did you?"

"No, just… bad day," Jess repeated. "Where are the rest of the guys?"

"Matt's working, and Jake and Chris went out to buy food so we can celebrate that we all have jobs. I even think there will be real food involved, not take out."

"Who's cooking?"

"I think there's going to be a group effort, and no, that's not exactly calming to think," Reg told him.

"How long since they left?"

"Ten minutes ago, I think."

"Since it seems to me that none of you have the skills to feed yourself with anything besides take out, I'm claiming cooking duty," Jess smirked, grabbing his phone to call Chris.

"I'm important and extremely busy. Speak!" Chris barked giddily when he picked up.

"Please tell me you haven't finished shopping," Jess said, ignoring the greeting.

"Not really, we're about halfway through."

"What have you got?"

"Um… Milk, bread, chicken and a bunch of other stuff…"

"Okay, you pick up the following things, and I promise to pay for it when you get home," Jess said, having come up with something fast that he could cook for his roommates. "You'll need…" he then began, trying to remember the recipe as best he could.

Some real food, and a bunch of guys that wouldn't analyze him for a couple of hours. Perhaps that's what he needed.

* * *

**A/N**: Yes, Reg at a bookstore. I thought it would be good, since he could try and probe around and do some minor manipulation. Okay, so please review, makes me, Reg, Jess, Cammie and the others all kinds of happy!


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N**: Thank you, thank you, thank you for the reviews and for the questions I got to answer, it was fun doing some research. You guys really make me want to update more often, and it really pains me to have school and work steal my attention. You can all thank Kassandra27 for the food Jess cooked. I've made myself a Cedar Park playlist to listen to while I write, I've put a link on the profile page if you want to check it out. Only thing is, you'd need Spotify to listen to it (unless you just want to look at the tracklisting and find the tracks on YouTube...). Anyhoo, I hope you enjoy chapter ten, and leave me some review-love!

**Disclaimer**: Do not own any of the characters recognized from the tv-show. Just Cammie, she's a true original.

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"Oh God, this is good…" Jake groaned for the tenth time.

"Seriously, if I someone told me I was about to die now, I wouldn't fight it. I'm full, I'm happy, I have a job," Chris mused, patting his stomach.

"Guys, it's only lasagna, nothing special," Jess told them with a smirk.

"Only lasagna? Only? Oh no, my friend, this is not only lasagna," Reg babbled, gesturing towards the few slices of lasagna left. "This is creamy, tasty slices of heaven made to look like lasagna!"

"Whatever you say, Garfield…"

"Garfield? Right, that makes you Jon, meaning you're here for the sole purpose of feeding me lasagna."

"Have you any idea how incredibly disturbing that sounded?" Jess teased.

The dinner had been a success, to say the least. The guys had more or less attacked the lasagna with knives and forks as soon as Jess had put it down on the table, and chugged it down with beer. Through every bite of dinner, he'd received high praise for his cooking skills, and had been officially dubbed as the apartment's 'Cookmaster 3000'. Jess didn't care about the praise or the title, or the fact the he was now officially on food-detail. He was just happy that he'd been able to sit through two and a half hour of preparing, eating and talking without being reminded of his day and reason why it had been so bad.

"Where did you learn to cook?" Reg asked.

"In a kitchen," Jess replied, trying to joke the question away.

"Yeah, well, that's a no-brainer. Are you some sort of master chef and didn't tell us about it?

"My uncle runs a diner. I worked there. Kind of hard not pick up things."

"So cool," Jake said. "My uncle drives a bus and smells like sweat and cheap cigars."

"Yeah… cool," Jess replied absentmindedly.

Just then, the doorbell rang.

"Come on, Matt, don't you have your keys?" Chris yelled playfully.

The ringing didn't stop, on the contrary, it intensified.

"Ten bucks says he won't play," Reg ventured.

"You're on," Chris smirked, and left the table to go open the door.

"Play?" Jess looked questioningly from Jake to Reg and back.

"Yeah, Chris filched Matt's keys, just so he could make Matt say the magic words when he came home," Jake replied, grinning.

"And the magic words are..?" Jess asked absentmindedly.

"Wait and listen…"

But Jess was already lost in thoughts, his mind wandering back to all the times Luke had saved his ass and given him that last chance again and again, without him needing to say some stupid password. Luke'd taken him in, given him roof over his head, a job, and took him back in after he was kicked out into the cold. He was almost the only one that kept hoping he'd do better each time he was given a new chance.

"Is that lasagna?"

He snapped out of his thoughts. The high-pitched voice had carried from the door to the kitchen, and it didn't belong to Matt. What was Cammie doing here?

"Great, I though I was about to win ten bucks," Chris said grumpily.

"Always a pleasure to crush your expectations. Now, is that lasagna I smell?"

"Yes, it's lasagna, why the surprised tone?"

"I know you. You don't cook. None of you can cook, and by the smell I can tell it isn't take out. Who got lucky and managed to read a recipe correctly?" Cammie demanded.

Jess sighed with a smile, and rose from the table.

"Technically, I didn't read a recipe, so I didn't exactly get lucky. But the lasagna's mine," he replied sombrely when he came to the door.

"Oh, right, you worked at a diner," Cammie smiled. "Scatterbrain, sue me."

"Is this a social call, or did you have a purpose for interrupting dinner?"

Cammie threw Chris a pointed glare, one he'd apparantly seen before, as he quickly left for the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, okay? I know I promised not to analyze it and I did. Knee jerk reaction, and I definitely felt it was a prime 'open mouth, insert foot'-moment for me. Still, doesn't mean you had to give me the grunt treatment all day. It was a mistake, I have apologized, and I even brought a peace offering," she told him, pulling out something from her pocket. "Your own key. You need it, and I thought it would be an appropriate peace offering for you to gain unlimited access to the coffee shop so you can re-order the storage room or stage an intervention between the decaf coffeemaker and the regular one. I think decaf cheated."

Jess looked at the key in Cammie's palm, slowly reaching out to take it, ignoring the gibes.

"It's not an A-bomb, you know," Cammie joked.

He rolled his eyes at her, taking the key and putting it in his pocket.

"You know how I asked you to keep that one thing I told you about to yourself?" Jess asked her quietly. "About the…"

Cammie nodded affirmativly.

"Do you think you could keep your revelation to yourself too?"

"So she's your ex? I was right?"

"If I say yes, will you not tell anyone?"

"Any chance I'll get the full story?"

"Maybe," Jess replied off-handedly. Better to make a vague promise than to have his own 'open mouth, insert foot'-moment later on. "And yes, she was my ex."

"My lips are sealed then," Cammie smiled. "So, back to the lasagna. Can I have some?"

"Help yourself to whatever scraps the guys left."

Cammie pranced happily to the kitchen, and Jess followed her. Watching his boss and his three flatmates became clear to him that it wasn't just Chris and Matt that had a slight crush on Cammie. Neither Reg, nor Jake could keep from looking at her when she rifled through the cabinets in search of a plate and cutlery. She was completely oblivious to her audience until she had almost finished her plate of lasagna.

"I should smack you all on the head, it's rude to stare," she commented. "Not you Jess, somehow you have the manner-gene they're missing."

"I always suspected I was a completely different species. Nice to get it confimed," Jess smirked, and rose from the table.

He went out into the livingroom, leaving the guys and Cammie to entertain themselves in the kitchen. He pulled out his mp3-player, plugged it in, pressed play and picked up his writing pad.

_I don't have the best track record with authority, but there was something about my reluctant guardian that made me want to try not to be a total ass. He wasn't my fruity, scatterbrained mom, nor her countless boyfriends, or my father, who up until then had only been a name and a warning. My guardian tried putting up rules as best he could, only to get infinitely frustrated when I broke them, much to my enjoyment. I mocked his livelihood, everything he preferred. The flannel shirt, the backwards baseball cap. I told him some lame joke about it being the required uniform. Actually, I felt safe with it. He was the sanctuary I was sent to, ran away from and then returned to. I wanted him to think he was caging me, but in reality he kept me above the surface. I would have drowned otherwise, whether it was in blue or my own stupidity. _

Someone tapped him on the shoulder, and he flinched out of his music-induced reverie. Chris was behind him, grinning widely.

"Matt's home. Or well, almost home."

"I know you're in there guys, knock it out and let me in already!" Matt yelled outside the door.

"Password!" Chris yelled back.

"There is no freaking password!"

"Of course there's a password, and you know it. Quit making an ass out of yourself for the neighbours and just say it already."

"You know I hate you, right?" Matt responded

Chris made a horn-sounding noise.

"Wrong answer, Matt!"

"Oh, for the love of… Fine, I'll say it!"

"I knew he'd cave. Here it comes…" Chris told Jess, his smile now looking more and more like the Cheshire cat's.

"Do you want fries with that?" Matt growled.

In the kitchen, Jake, Reg and Cammie broke down in guffaws, and Jess couldn't help but join in the laughter. He began snickering wildly as Chris roamed over to the door to let Matt in. Matt was cussing loudly, until he entered the livingroom.

"Do I smell food? Like food-food, not take-out food?"

"I made lasagna," Jess volunteered. "Don't know if there's anything left, Cammie looked pretty hungry."

Matt's eyes became glazed, and he walked like a zombie towards the kitchen. Jess swore he heard Jake hiss something about "hiding the last piece". Soon, the apartment was filled with Matt's satisfied moans as the last piece of the lasagna disappeared. Cammie came out to join Jess in the livingroom.

"Been writing anything?" she asked and nodded to the pad.

"Not much," he shrugged.

"I didn't get to read everything, you think I could borrow it until tomorrow?"

"I'm not a library. I'll bring it with me to work tomorrow, and you can read it there."

"You're awfully territorial," Cammie teased.

"Yeah, well, I'm not particularly comfortable with my work in the hands of an amateur Freud, who is way more insightful than anyone else in this apartment."

"Who is more what than who in this apartment?" Reg asked, peeking out into the livingroom.

"I'm more of a girl-magnet than anyone else in this apartment," Cammie quipped and stuck out her tongue.

Jake found that comment extremely rude, an insult really on his flirting skills, and the two of the got into a long argument, of which Jess could conclude that Cammie indeed was the biggest girlmagnet in the apartment (Jake looked very disappointed), that Chris and Matt had occasional one-night-stands (and he really didn't want to know how they managed that...), and that Reg had had a girlfriend up until about two months ago.

"Hey, how about we go out this weekend, really celebrate that we got jobs?" Chris then suggested, after the quarrel had died out.

"I'm in. By some insane freak coincidence, I don't work evening or night this weekend. Plus, there's this bar a couple of blocks away I wanna check out, looks totally cool."

Jake and Reg both agreed to come, since none of them had weekend jobs.

"You know me, can't resist a good bar," Cammie smiled, and turned to Jess. "What about you Jess? Ready to experience the Philadelphia nightlife?"

"I guess…" he began. "Fine, I'll come, I can't sit all alone in this crap shack while you're out providing entertainment for the Philly-inhabitants."

Cammie cheered, and the guys immediately began planning for the weekend.

"Okay, I'll better get going, work tomorrow," Cammie said after a while. "I'll see you tomorrow, Jess. Bye guys!"

They all said goodbye, after which Reg turned in for the night, along with Jake, who said that he had to start earlier tomorrow, some large shipment, or something. Chris and Matt began chattering about all the ways Matt would get his revenge for the jokes and the password-prank. Jess had a feeling Chris would get busted pretty soon, if Matt's tensed expression was anything to judge by.

"Payback's a bitch…" he mumbled to himself, feeling himself doze off on the sofa.

* * *

**A/N**: Review, and I may let Jess open up to Cammie soon…ish. Or you can review and I promise to feed the guys again. I'm fine with either.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N**: Right, so one of you who reviewed chapter 10 thought Jess became too nice and soft too soon. I know it may seem so, but look at it this way: Jess spent a fair amount of time in Cali before he came to Philadelphia. Since the story starts with him coming to Philly, we have no idea what really happened in Venice Beach. Jess is still a bit cranky sometimes, but he's beginning to understand that his attitude won't get him where he wants to go. He wants the publishing company to work out, and don't you all agree that it's easier to do so if you try to behave? Then there was a matter of stuff that the anonymous reviewer found a bit OOC. That's completely my bad, I'll work on it! I hope you can tell the difference between flashback and Subsect excerpt, in the chapter, shouldn't be too hard. Enjoy chapter 11!

**Disclaimer**: Do not own any of the characters from the show. Cammie's the true original, in more than one sense. So, having that clarified… Keep on reading!

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The following days went by in a blur of early mornings of work, with an obnoxiously nosy Cammie hounding him whenever they were on break. Ever since he had promised to maybe talk about his writing, Jess had found himself having to come up with an excuse not to talk. Thankfully, she picked up on his evasive manouvers pretty quickly, and cut back on the nosiness. At the apartment, a straight-out war was fought between Matt and Chris, who tried their best at making their respective workdays as hard as possible. It had started with picking on Matt's cap, then it was the "Do you want fries with that?", after which Matt had retaliated by hiding Chris' Wal-Mart vest for three days straight, and nicking his key, so Chris had to wait for any of the others to get home. If that someone was Matt, he wouldn't open the door until Chris had given him a satisfactory door greeting. Jess tried his best to live through it, but it wasn't easy when Reg and Jake were feeding the insanity by cheering them on, switching teams whenever Chris or Matt launched a new attack against one another.

It did bring one good thing with it. Somehow, all the childish fighting and bickering gave him some strange inspirational kick, and he wrote approximately ten pages during last weekend alone. There was something about the constant practical jokes and pranks that reminded him so much of himself. The fake murder, his constant teasing of Dean, his magic tricks. He'd experienced his first zine-printing, after a lot of discussion with Matt, who wanted to put some of his writing in that month's edition. On top of it all, he also got some very interesting first hand stuff to write about after the evening out with the boys and Cammie. They had started the evening at Cammie's place, a couple of beers and a seriously twisted form of a drinking game. They were all pretty tipsy when they finally found the bar Matt had been yammering about, _Cedar's_, and it didn't get a lot better after that. Matt ran around like he was possessed, boasting loudly about their company, their zine, their plans and, sadly enough, about Jess' writing. Hadn't he been pretty tipsy, he'd probably given Matt a piece of his mind. Or rather, his fist. Jess tried calming himself down, telling himself that neither Matt, nor any of the bar's patrons would remember a word the day after. Still, he would remember, and decided, that the mental images of Matt acting like a complete fool should be preserved in words.

April had passed, and it was now the beginning of May. Jess couldn't understand how the days went by so quickly. Summer was soon here, and he was looking forward to it. The sun would come out, sweep away some of the cloudy gloom. Not that Cammie didn't do a good job at that. One morning when he came to work, he'd found her in the storage room, wearing a gigantic hat.

_"What the hell is that?" he'd asked, astounded._

_Cammie had turned around, and managed to knock down an entire stack of chocolate chip cookies with the hat._

_"It's a sombrero, can't you tell?"_

_"Yeah, but why do you feel the need to wear one the size of a satellite dish?"_

_"It's Cinco de Mayo, and I thought it was festive!"_

_"Are you Mexican?"_

_"No..."_

_"Part Mexican?"_

_"No."_

_"Then why the hat?"_

_"It's fun!"_

Her pealing laughter and excited expression made it impossible for Jess not to smile, and he was even forced to wear the damned thing for half the day. It was one of those rare days when he didn't feel the need to write and vent his feelings. It was just a regular day, he was Jess, she was Cammie, the guys were only marginally insane, and the sun was even out.

Today was a completely different sort of day. Jess'd dreamed of Rory and the car crash, only this time, she was more badly hurt. He'd woken up at four, sweaty and anxious, unable to go to sleep again. Cammie seemed to pick up on his less-than-stellar mood when he came in, and she kept the quippy remarks at a minimum. Still, he felt like crap, and decided he needed to do something about it. He'd put off calling Jimmy for days now, and Lily would bust him for it. Plus, rent was due, and he needed money for it. He picked up his phone, and sneaked off into the break room to call.

"Jimmy," his father answered.

"Hey, it's Jess…" Jess began.

"I'm sorry, who? Speak up, I'm literally in an inferno here!"

"It's Jess!"

"Jess, hi, good to hear from you. You doin' okay?"

"I'm fine. Listen, I don't have too much time, so I'll cut right to business. Could you wire me three hundred bucks?"

"Are you in trouble?" Jimmy asked sternly.

"No."

"Of course you wouldn't tell me even if you were in trouble..."

"Well, if you call 'rent' and 'food' trouble, then yeah, big time," Jess smirked, adding silently to himself: "Jeez, I don't call for three weeks, and he thinks I'm already gone bad…"

"You livin' someplace now?"

"I'm in Philadelphia. Actually thinking about staying for a while. A long while…"

"You got work?"

"I do. It's not too bad. Listen, I don't get my pay check for another week, and rent's due in a couple of days, so can you wire the money or not?"

"Okay, where to?"

"I've set up an account at TD Bank here in Philly. Here's the number," Jess told him, giving him his account number.

"You know you shouldn't give me your number like that, anyone could hear you or steal my note…" Jimmy muttered, and Jess could hear him jotting down the account number.

"Relax Jimmy, it's not like I have a fortune stashed here."

"Okay, fine. Listen, I gotta go. I'll call you when I've wired the money."

"Thanks. Tell Lily and Sasha I called and said hi."

"Lily will most likely call you back and give you hell. She's been bugging me about calling you ever since you left. Me and Sasha didn't know where you were or what you were doing, so we thought we'd wait until you called and gave us an update."

"Well, I'm fine, everything's fine. Alive and kicking, doing some writing and stuff… By the way, if you see Ivy and her gang, don't tell her I called, and don't give her my number."

"Anything wrong?"

"I don't think she's quite forgiven me for nicking her skateboard."

"Jess!" Jimmy sighed at the other end of the line.

"What, she took my book!"

"Where's the board?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Jess, tell me where it is."

"What if I have it with me?"

"You took a skateboard with you to Philly?"

"I said what if."

"So it's still here?"

"Maybe…"

"Fine, I'll have Lily call and coax it out of you."

Jess laughed. He knew he'd probably cave if Jimmy really had Lily put pressure on him. That girl was impossible to resist.

"You know I will put her on your tail…" Jimmy warned him, laughing too. "It was good hearing from you, Jess."

"You too, Jimmy."

They hung up, and Jess let out a gush of air. See, that hadn't been so hard. He glanced at his watch. He still had some time left before he was back on duty. He pulled out his writing pad, noticing how much he'd written since he'd arrived.

_It's strange, having that other part of myself back in my life. He was a surprise, and so much more like me than the stupid Bowie-song that connected the dots. He's easier than my mother, which says a lot. She's more for caring and making things better in the most complicated ways, while he simply accepts the situation, taking action only if needed. Sure, he put his foot down a couple of times, though not as often as his new girlfriend. I was happy when he did, it meant something was right. He was my father, and I was a jerk of a son. But then again, he isn't really a father, I don't think he ever was or could ever be. He's the man that sat me down after I came back from my not-so-successful visit home a couple of months before I left Cali for good, and I spilled the beans on my crashed relationship, how I had thrown it all away. It was awkward and of course he told his family (something about 'no secrets', I thought it was a heap of bull). They were all so absurdly understanding, so Subsect, leaving me alone to go through my shit, butting in only when asked to. It's strange to have a ten-year-old knowing when to give you space._

"Am I interrupting?"

Jess looked up from his pad. Cammie was hanging half-way in through the doorway, looking at him with a smile.

"No, it's cool. I was just finishing. Is the break over?"

"Not for another ten or so minutes," Cammie shrugged. "Was it anything interesting?"

Jess nodded to the pad with a questioning look, and Cammie nodded.

"It was just… stuff."

"Jess, I have been very patient since I asked if you would ever tell me. I have bugged you less than I normally would have, and I think that says something."

"So?"

"So, I think I should be rewarded for my superb show of patience."

Jess just looked at her, hoping it would save him from what he knew would come next.

"Could you please, please, please tell me something about her? Or you. Or both? Yeah, both! I wanna hear about the both of you!"

Cammie jumped up and down, like a rabbit hopped up on speed, making her pink sequined shirt sparkle in tune with her jumps.

"I swear, you're just like her…" Jess muttered grumpily.

"Like who? The girl you're writing about?" Cammie asked, peeking at him.

"No, like my stepsister," he clarified.

"Is that good? You know what, I think that's good."

"It means you have mysterious ways of making me agree to things I'd never agree to otherwise."

"Oh, and there it is, Cammie one, Jess zero!" she cheered.

She skipped over to him, sitting down on the bench opposite his.

"So, tell me everything, I want details, names, dates, places!"

"You know what? You acting like a hormonal teenager… Not in your favour," Jess replied.

Cammie arranged her face into a serious expression, but Jess could tell she was still all jumpy and excited on the inside. He sighed.

"It basically begins and ends the same way," he began. "With me being a jerk."

"You're not a jerk," Cammie protested.

"If you're going to interrupt me, I'll go back to serving coffee and not talking to you."

"Fine…"

"I was living in New York, with my mom, and I was a complete idiot," Jess resumed, fidgeting with a loose thread on his shirt. "I got arrested a couple of times. Nothing huge, mostly for being a punk. Finally, my mom got fed up, and sent me away to live with her brother, my uncle."

"And where did he live?"

"Stars Hollow, Connecticut."

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**A/N**: Yes, ending on a cliffhanger, I'm just that good! Review and tell me how much you want Jess to tell Cammie. I'm thinking he should edit some things out. So, what to tell, what to keep to himself? You know you love the green button… *channeling my inner Gossip Girl*


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N**: As always, I'm very grateful for every review that this story gets. Really, you should see me, it's borderline ridiculous how happy I get when you review. Now I challenge every person reading this: Review. You can do it without having an account here. I am very partial to long-ish reviews, but right now I'm fine with whatever you want to write, I'm more curious about how many of you read this fic. Make me happy and I'll try to update fast!

**Disclaimer**: Still don't own. Otherwise this would already be on tv, whether I'd need to haul Milo's ass into the studio myself or not.

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_**Previously on Cedar Park**: "I was living in New York, with my mom, and I was a complete idiot," Jess resumed, fidgeting with a loose thread on his shirt. "I got arrested a couple of times. Nothing huge, mostly for being a punk. Finally, my mom got fed up, and sent me away to live with her brother, my uncle."_

_"And where did he live?"_

_"Stars Hollow, Connecticut."  
_

"Stars Hollow?" Cammie said. "Never heard of it."

"Not likely you will, unless you have som hidden fetish for porcelain unicorns," Jess commented.

"Unicorns?" Cammie looked puzzled, and earned a pointed glance from Jess. "Okay, fine, I'll keep my mouth shut…"

"I can't say I was extatic about leaving New York, and I made that very clear. A… friend of my uncle's invited us to a "Welcome to Stars Hollow"-dinner, and I really didn't want to go, but I had to. I figured I could sneak off and make a stealthy exit through a window. My uncle's friend had a daughter my age, they introduced us, and I tried to play cool and suggested we skip out on dinner," Jess began, feeling how he got pulled back to that very evening.

"And you did? It totally sounds like you..."

"Cammie…"

"Sorry…"

"She wouldn't come. The food was apparantly too good to miss, and every place in town was closed. A minor setback for me, I might add. I tried to look around her room, get a feel about who she was. She was smart, otherwise she wouldn't have had an entire wall dedicated to an Ivy League-college. She had books, I had never in my life seen so many books in one room outside a library. She had every book I had ever read, plus a couple of more. I nicked her copy of Ginsberg's _Howl_ before we joined the others. All in all, the evening didn't go too well, I pissed off her mom, and my uncle got into a fight with the mother over me, and it wasn't the most successful outing I've ever been to.

"Skip to the good parts!" Cammie urged him.

"Like what?" Jess asked irritably.

"You tell me."

"She had a boyfriend. That good enough?"

"Now we're talking!"

"I tried to get her attention, pulled a couple of stupid stunts… I faked a murder outside the only convenience store in town, I outbid her boyfriend on a stupid town shindig, I crashed the car her boyfriend had made for her…"

"Okay, apart from me being completely astounded by your twisted creativity to get this girl, I just wanna know one thing… Will I ever get to know her name?"

"What good would it do you, it's not like you'll ever meet her and you two can have a girl's night out and braid each others' hair," Jess replied irritably.

"Sorry I asked…"

"The car-stunt was not good. I left for New York, went back to my old life, and tried to forget her. Then she came to visit me. Out of the blue, just to say goodbye. It surprised me. She blew off her mother's graduation to come visit me. Took me one month, then I was back in Stars Hollow. She kissed me when she saw I had returned."

"No way! Was it over with the boyfriend?"

"It wasn't. We were alone when she kissed me, and she begged me not tell anyone."

"Hence the passage that easily could've made it into a Jackie Collins -novel."

"I take that as an insult!"

"Whatever, continue!"

"She left for some camp or something, I don't know really. It was in Washington, and I waited all summer to hear from her. Something, anything, just a simple hello, but nothing. When she came back I had hooked up with a no-brain blonde just to piss her off. It worked in the end."

"They broke up?" Cammie asked, sounding a bit astounded. "Did you break them up, Jess?"

"She loved me more," he replied simply, shrugging his shoulders.

"You conniving little brat… Okay, so you snagged the girl by using morally grey methods, why does this story not have a happy ending?"

"Because I told you, I was an idiot. I was jealous, insecure, worked two jobs, skipped school and to top it all off, my father, whom I'd never seen in my life, decided to enter my existence. Something in me snapped. I had been stupid enough to promise my girl that I'd take her to prom, and then it fell through, because I was flunking out of school and wasn't allowed to go to the prom."

"I see this will not end well…"

"It… really didn't end at all," Jess confessed. "I left for California."

"I bet she wasn't all too happy about that, right?"

"I didn't tell her. She actually rode the same bus I was on when I left, we talked about prom and I lied to her face about not getting the tickets. She got off the bus, and I continued to Cali."

"No goodbye?"

"There never seemed to be the right moment for goodbyes. In fact, there never seemed to be any moments at all for any sorts of goodbyes."

"So that's it?"

"Not really."

"There's more? Will it be happy stuff or stuff that will make me wanna drive my head, and yours, too, through a wall?"

"It will not be _Sesame Street_, if that's what you're asking."

"No kidding…"

"I came back after about a year in Cali, my mom called and said my uncle had my car. I thought it had been stolen, but he had hid it in a garage he rented. So I went back to take my car, and of course it broke down when I hit the highway. I had to go back to Stars Hollow to get some papers signed and my car fixed. Meeting her was inevitable, and I though I should say the thing I should have said to her before I left."

"Goodbye?"

"I love you."

Cammie just stared at him, unsure of what to make of this proclamation.

"Hey, you do know I'm gay, right? I don't…"

"No, I mean I told her I loved her."

"You lying son-of-a… That's happy! That makes me happy!" Cammie squealed, bobbing up and down on her bench.

"Yeah, up until the part where I left right after I said it."

Cammie's face fell, and she slumped down on the bench.

"You're such a buzzkill. Is this the end, then?"

"I took a break from Cali for a while, went back to New York and lived there. I don't know why really, I thought New York could get me back to the way I had been before I began caring too much. I returned to Stars Hollow once more when my mom got married, and I don't know if it was the wedding, or the freaking self-help books my uncle dumped on me, but I went to see her at Yale, and asked her to come with me to New York."

"You did not! Have you any idea how screwed up that is?"

"Had there ever been an opportune moment to have me committed, that would have been it, I was a raving lunatic, and it made me realize just how completely insane I was. I returned to Cali that night, and refused to talk about it with my dad or his girlfriend. Lily, my step-sister was the only one who managed to get something out of me."

"Which was..?" Cammie asked intently.

"I'm an idiot," Jess answered, smiling.

"Yeah, I agree with you…"

"That's it. Stayed in California until April this year. I just needed to leave. I was planning on going… back to see her, but I couldn't. I couldn't get any further than Philly."

They sat quiet for some time, carefully avoiding looking straight at each other. Cammie was clearly not enjoying the silence, squirming in her seat, twirling locks of her hair between her fingers.

"So… was that… subsect? As in 'the Subsect'?" she finally asked him.

"Among other things," Jess repliedthoughtfully. "Look, you now know more about me than anyone else in this town, I'd almost daresay you know more about me than anyone else, period. Could we keep it that way?"

"Scout's honor, though I never really made it as a girlscout. Couldn't keep off the cookies."

Jess sighed, and shook his head.

"I promise, your blatant idiocy will be a secret I take with me to the grave, even if I live to be a hundred and ten."

"Gee, thanks for the show of solidarity, boss."

"You told me you were an idiot, I feel entitled to use that against you," Cammie teased.

"Fine," he said, and left the room.

Out by the counter, he pulled out his pad, and made one small note on a fresh page.

"_Subsect, she knows._

_And I don't care."_

"Well, she sort of knew..." Jess thought.

He'd edited out the fights, the accident that followed the car crash, the night at Kyle's party, his phonecalls from Cali and the time she talked back to him and told him it was all over. It didn't matter. If Cammie ever found out, which in his mind was highly unlikely, he could say most of it was filed under "idiocy". It wasn't like that would be a complete lie. On that first day in Cali, Jimmy had told him failure was in his genetic code. Jess wondered if maybe not idiocy was in his. He sighed, put away the pad, and resumed working.

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**A/N**: Three things:

1) Right, so for next chapter I'll probably skip ahead a couple of weeks to keep the pace up. Please, don't hesitate to come with any kinds of suggestions, this story gets updated for your benefit.

2) On another note: There is now a _Cedar Park_ -homepage. It's not much, but it was fun making it. Link can be found on the presentation.

3) The green button challenges YOU, all of you: Review and there's an update in it for ya.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N**: Sorry for not updating, been out sick, and for me it's more or less impossible to write anything worth posting when I'm sick. I'm not completely out of it yet, colds tend to stick with me for some time, but the worst's over, thank God for that! New chapter, and as I may have said in the previous chapter, I've jumped forward a bit in time. Not much, though, so not to worry. The apartment's still standing, the coffee's good and the gang is still the gang! _Kassandra27_ noted in her review that it would look pretty hilarious if I was to haul Milo into the studio. I completely agree. I'm 5'1" (I know, I'm tiny!) and not exactly the strongest gal on the block, so me trying to haul a 5'9", muscular Milo would look… Yeah, well, I'm thinking what I don't have in muscles, I gain in perseverance.

**Disclaimer**: Still don't own. It's the sad truth, and I try to live with it.

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"Jess?" Matt asked hesitantly.

"No," Jess answered sternly, clutching his laptop closer to himself.

"Come on, man…"

"Go watch the grass grow!"

"It's a simple question!"

"Yeah, one I'm choosing not to answer."

"Grinch."

"Baby."

"This is ridiculous, you know that?"

"Ridiculous is your middlename, not mine."

"I'll settle for the nearest whole number. Are we talking twenty pages? Thirty? Forty?"

"You're just cranky 'cause my laptop is password-protected. Suck it up, and quit bugging me."

Matt had been trying to squeeze out information on how many pages Jess' writing was turning into. After his first paycheck, Jess bought a secondhand laptop to work on, and made sure that no one could log onto it without a password. Since he started writing down stuff on the computer, Matt, and sometimes Chris too, had been hounding him about letting them see how things progressed. The only time it was safe to write was when both Matt and Chris were working, opprtunities that were getting rarer and rarer. Matt worked mostly evenings, while Chris worked daytime shifts. Jake and Reg didn't care, Jake was too busy hunting down stories for the Zine and bashing in the awesomeness of his job at the record store (though Jess had to admit, the tickets for the band-event last week hade been pretty sweet), while Reg had a lot to do at the campus book store. He'd been prying mercilessly (probably under Matt's orders) about what it meant to publish books and running a publishing company.

It had resulted in some good, they had gotten a manuscript for a promising story, and had decided to print it at the end of the month. Jess was thankful that he had managed to dissuade Matt and Chris from holding out for his "great American novel", and go for something that was actually ready to be printed. It gave him some time to work out his own writing, which he was beginning to feel even more protective of.

"Cammie knows something about what you write, why can she know stuff?"

"What are you yammering about?" Jess asked, trying to sound unaffected, though on the inside he was going through every disaster scenario that could involve Cammie, the guys and his writing.

"'Cause everytime we talk about you and your secretive writing she gets this really smug look on her face, and it's bugging the hell out of me. We're your flatmates and practially your publishers, why are you grinching on the writing, man?"

During the month that had passed since Jess had told Cammie the cliffnotes version of his Stars Hollow debacle, Cammie had been pretty low key about the whole thing, apart from an incident two weeks ago when she'd begun asking questions after an untimely phonecall from Liz. Screaming ensued, and they didn't talk for two days, until Cammie caved and apologized for the short-term memory loss. She occasionally asked if he'd written something new, and if she could read it, but he always told her he hadn't, or that he'd left the notebook at home. None of it was true. He'd almost filled the entire notebook now, and didn't dare to leave it at home, for fear of it being found. For some insane reason, his writing got more and more revealing, or at least he thought so, which was part of the reason as to why Jess had a password for his computer and never let the notebook out of his sight.

"Look, Cammie knows nothing of importance, which means she doesn't know anything really, so you're basically on the same level," Jess tried to pacify Matt.

"That's bullcrap, and you know it. I've read the early notes in that pad of yours and I know nothing. Cammie only gets that smug face when she knows about something good and has to keep it a secret. She's terrible for anything that requires a surprise," Matt protested.

"Yeah, and you're terrible when it comes to being likeable, which is why you know nothing about this. If you don't get out of my face I'll delete the files and burn the pad, and you can live life haunted by Cammie's smugness and forever know nothing."

"Cammie can snitch."

"Cammie knows better than to snitch, contrary to the beliefs of this household, she doesn't think sidechanging is a flattering character trait.

"I have so many things I could say to you know, but for my own safety and for the preservation of your brilliant writing, I'll keep them to myself and pretend you're not here," Matt decided, and disappeared into the kitchen.

"I second that," Jess yelled after him.

Not totally confident that Matt wouldn't try to spy on him, Jess moved the sofa so he could see straight into the kitchen, and thus repel any sneak attacks on Matt's part. When the sofa was in place, Jess opened the laptop, entered the password and opened the document he had filled with his notes. He'd been trying to put them in some kind of order, it was the only thing he could think of doing before trying to make something of the damned thing.

_I tried telling myself I was being mature, that this would be some sign of me having abandoned my old ways. In hindsight, I couldn't have been much more of an idiot. Personally, I blame Phillip, or whatever the hell his name was. Him and his phony girlfriend Judy really screwed me over, and I ended up driving like a maniac to New Haven to profess my love to blue. I was not overly talkative back then, so of course once I opened my mouth it all came out in moron. I was convinced it was the right thing to do. Me and her in my beat-up car heading for New York where we could get our happily ever after with coffee, pizza and us. It was perfect, it was Subsect, and it was nothing more than a self-help tape induced hallucination. Blue said no, and my world crashed._

Jess could feel his heart wrench when he read the paragraph. The Yale-incident had always been a tough memory, one he didn't voluntarily touch on. He couldn't remember the drive from Stars Hollow to New Haven, he had mostly forgotten his rampant speech. The one thing he did remember was Rory when she threw her answer in his face. No. Such a simple word, two letters, one syllable. To think that such a small word could break a person so completely. He'd heard her feeble no's in a haze, but it was that last, fundamental 'no' that broke through his rant and made him realize he'd lost. He'd lost her, himself and somewhere on his way back to Cali, he felt like he'd lost all reason to carry on and be a functioning human being.

_I outbid the Tall Jerk, and the blatant jealousy in his voice is enough to make me decide that $90 was worth it then and there. Turned out that the tiny thing I overpaid for was filled with things that were completely indigestable, and she knew it. So, we segued over to something more constructive, though she was very obstinate when it came to my favourite author. I tried to be smart, saying good old Ernest only had good things to say about her. She brought up Ayn Rand, which sparked a discussion that continued over pizza and resolved when I promised (fingers crossed) that I'd read "The Fountainhead" and she'd pick something of Hemingway. The ironic thing is, I actually read "The Fountainhead" while I was in Cali. Rand is still a nut, and I will not touch that book again._

That was a much more pleasant memory, and Jess highlighted the paragraph, cut it out and pasted it into a fitting place. He'd long since abandoned any thought of cronological order, and had drawn up his own pattern for how the story progressed. Just like it did in his pad, the computer document began with the passage about reflecting on his arrival to and departure from Venice Beach. After that he'd just scrambled things up, until they felt like they flowed naturally.

Suddenly, there was a wild banging on the door. Jess rose from the sofa, locking the laptop as he moved away, and headed for the door.

"By all means, bang down the door, we have insurance," he barked, as he unbolted the door.

"Any chance the door would open before the end of this century?" Cammie asked exasperated on the other side.

"Depends. You know the password?"

"Hey, I though it was Matt who needed to know a password?"

"He's pouting, and I'm bored," Jess teased, keeping the door shut, though it was unlocked now.

"I'm not your Matt-substitute, Jess. I'm your boss, and I demand you let me in."

"Well, well, well, playing the boss-card, are we?"

"Whatever makes this door open!" Cammie yelled.

"Don't get your pants in a twist."

Jess opened the door, and Cammie stormed in, heading straight for the livingroom. Seconds later there was a loud thump, followed by a wild "Ow!". Jess followed the sound, and found Cammie in the livingroom, sprawled out on the floor.

"Okay, do you need to have your eyes checked?" he asked her.

"Why is there not a couch here? There has been a couch here! What is it doing there? Did you do this?"

"Chill out! I moved the couch so I could keep an eye on Matt. What's with you today? Forgot your meds?"

"No!" Cammie exclaimed, and gracefully got up from the floor, now smiling from ear to ear.

"You know, that smile looks kind of creepy…"

"Shut up, I have the best news I could ever imagine wanting to share with anyone!"

Jess looked questioningly at his boss, who bounced over to and plopped down on the couch.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked, furrowing her brow.

"Cause you look like you could put the Cheshire cat out of business."

"I do not! You can still see me, right?"

Jess sighed.

"Right, so, news?" he asked instead.

"Yes! News, fantastic news! We need Matt for this, three's so much better than two, and no dirty pun intended. Yohoo, Matt!"

To Jess it looked like Cammie was some duchess ringing for her butler. The sight of Matt slouching out of the kitchen to join them looked very entertaining, and Jess shot Matt a broad grin.

"What?" Matt asked, looking from Jess to Cammie. "You two are not getting married, are you?"

"Wow, Matt, you'd think I'd be in on the thing if that was the case?"

"Unless I decided to marry you without your informed consent," Cammie suggested.

"You'd do that?" Matt and Jess asked.

"No, not really. Just thought it would be a viable… Whatever. Okay, news. I feel like I'm repeating myself."

"You are," Jess pointed out.

Cammie stuck out her tongue and made a face, before settling back into her excited, bouncy state.

"I bought the coffeeshop!" she then shrieked, jumping around them.

"You what?" Matt asked, astounded.

"I bought the place. I'm in a post-shopping kind of high, it's great!"

"You sound like you'd bought something on sale from Target."

"Well, it was not on sale, but the place is mine! I called the San Fran-dude a couple of days ago, talked to him, made an offer, and he said he'd think about it, and seriously, he sounded so stuck up and boring that I doubted I'd get it. Then he calls me back just fifteen minutes ago. There will be a buttload of papersigning, and I need to talk to my bank about a loan, and I need to close down the place so I can redecorate it and while that's underway I have to talk to my supplier about increasing my orders, and oh my God, I need to breathe!"

"You need to close the place?" Jess asked quickly. "For how long?"

"Not sure yet, a month or so. I think I can get all the paperstuff done this week, and if I'm really good, I'll get the loan too, so within two weeks the place will close temporarily, and then it's all in the hands of the people who will make that place rock my world."

"Well, that should give you time to write your book," Matt contemplated and looked at Jess.

"You're writing it down now? That is so cool!"

"Yeah," Jess agreed glumly. "Cool."

"Oh, come on, Grumpy, at least feign some joviality," Cammie smiled, and slapped him on the shoulder.

Jess pressed out a smile, and gave Cammie an awkward hug, congratulating her on getting her coffeeshop. She thank him, then excused herself, and whirled out of the apartment in the blink of an eye.

"Wow, that was… intense," Matt commented when the door slammed shut.

"I've never seen her in overdrive before."

"Hey, why the long face, Jess?"

"She'll need to close down the coffeeshop, I don't know for how long. I'll be unemployed," Jess explained.

"Yeah, but it will only be for a couple of months, you'll have your old job back before you know it."

"I know, but money doesn't grow on trees."

"Neither do clean socks. What's your point?"

"Rent? Food? Gas for that car of yours? Do you wany more examples?"

"Ah, yeah, that's something, I guess… Well, it's special circumstances, we'll pitch in and cover for you if things get rough."

"You think Jake and Reg will go for that?"

"Depends on whether Jake is having a good day or not when you tell him."

"I have enough money to pay this month's rent, and I can have Jimmy wire the last of my Cali-money, but if the renovation drags on…"

"Okay, first of all: your unemployment is temporary. Second: If things get… problematic we'll figure it out when that day comes," Matt told him sternly. "Third… Wait… Oh, right, I wasn't talking to you. Go write your secret novel, I'll go back contemplating the fridge."

* * *

**A/N**: Yay, Cammie got her own coffeeshop, life's good, yes? Sorry I had to give Jess the semi-sack, but it was necessary. Umbrellas can only do so much when there are people knocking down walls and whatnot. Review and help win my battle against the vicious cold!


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N**: Thank you for the reviews, I really appreciate every one of them! Took me some time to get this baby done (mostly because I'm in a Twilight-phase now, everything I try to write comes out Twilight… Kassandra27 can vouch for that!), but here you have it, chapter 14. How will the Jess/Jake showdown go? Will there be blood? Enjoy yourselves!

**Disclaimer**: Do not own. *sigh* No really, *sigh*.

* * *

"You know, in these situations, I resort to the bandaid-philosophy, one swift movement, a hell of a lot of pain, but only for…yeah, well… I don't know."

Matt was hanging over Jess' shoulders, and both of them were looking towards Jake, who had just entered.

"I know what the bandaid-philosophy is! And I thought you weren't talking to me," Jess replied testily, trying to figure out how to explain his situation without making Jake think he'd lost his job, not just getting temporarily fired.

"Hey, just a friendly advice from your future publicist."

"In your dreams, maybe."

"Hey guys, how's it hanging? No, wait, don't answer that question!" Jake laughed, throwing his messenger bag into a corner. Apparantly it had been a good day at work. Perhaps this was a good omen.

"What, why are you staring at me? Do I have something in my face?"

Matt snapped up, and disappeared into the kitchen. "Yeah, way to have my back there, mr. Future Publicist…" Jess thought sarcastically, and rose from the sofa.

"Well… The thing is… I will be…" Jess began hesitantly, standing up.

Jake gave him a stern look, like he was expecting trouble, and Jess completely forgot how he was supposed to say what he had to say, and instead thought about the striking similarities between Taylor and Jake. Both were more than ready to put the blame on him and chew him alive for it.

"I will be unemployed in a week. Or two. I'm not sure, really…"

Jake was silent at first, then he got a a crazed expression on his face.

"I knew it!" Jake exclaimed. "You're out, man, and I own your knee caps!"

Jake started moving towards Jess, who could only think of backing up and stay away from Jake's hands.

"Hey, hey, hey, it will be temporary!" he tried to pacify Jake, but it didn't help much. Jake still came at him with all the determination of a... "Gilmore Girl on a caffeine high..." Jess thought involuntarily.

"Yeah, they all say the same thing, it's all temporary. Crashing at someone's place, borrowing your car… Hell, even life is temporary! Doesn't change the fact that you're out and that your knee caps have my name on them, bucko!"

"Would you listen to me, you freak of a maniac!"

They were running in circles in the living room now, Jess running backwards, trying not to fall over anything, and Jake following his every move, trying to get a snap at Jess' knees.

"Matt! Some help here!" Jess yelled, slightly panicked.

"Come on, you're doing great," Matt replied from the kitchen. He was obviously not watching this spectacle.

"How does running backwards through the room for fear of losing my knee caps constitute as me doing great?"

"You're exaggerating!"

"Try me!"

Matt finally came out of the kitchen, and in true Matt-spritit, he began cheering Jake on.

"Matt, for God's sake, I asked for help, not you cheering on the opposite team! Get your act together and say something constructive, I'm getting dizzy here."

Matt jumped over the couch, placing himself between Jess and Jake.

"Jake, hey, man, snap out of it and sit down!" Matt barked, and to Jess' utter surprise, Jake complied. Matt took a deep breath.

"Yes, Jess is going to be unemployed, and yes, I know he says temporarily, and I know that means jack to you, but I can vouch for this temporariness. Cammie bought the coffee shop, and she needs to close it down for renovation or redecoration or whatever, during which time Jess can't work there. No need for you to get all obsessed about Jess' knee caps. Clear enough for you to comprehend?"

Jake nodded fervently, looking at Jess.

"Dude, you could've mentioned that Cammie bought the coffee place. Would've totally made sense!"

"Hey, I tried, but you were too busy drooling over my knee caps to let me get to the point," Jess replied grumpily. "I don't know how long I will be out of work, but I can take care of the publishing-shindig and write during this time of unemployment, and hope that Cammie doesn't get all decision making-impaired and prolong the unemployment."

"Can't blame a guy for jumping to conclusions, it's default for me."

"Sure I can, I'm doing it right now! You know what? Never mind. I'm going out."

Jess packed away his computer, and started walking towards the door.

"Where are you..?" Matt began.

"No need to sit up and wait for me, mom!"

He slammed the door shut behind him, taking the stairs two at a time. This was insane, Jess thought. Jake had almost dismembered him because Jess would be unemployed for some time. With Cammie not being the best secret-keeper in town, he didn't particularly look forward to the day when Cammie would slip up, and his entire life, wardrobe-skeletons and all would be out in the daylight. He quietly wondered if there would even be remains big enough for the police to find after Jakes was through with him.

Jess ended up at the coffee shop, and took a seat in the corner, plugging in and turning on his computer to write.

_I hated rollercoasters as a kid, 'cause they made me feel like I was turned inside out, and I puked like an idiot everytime I was forced onto a ride. The slow parts are fine, you feel like you're somewhat in control of the situation. Then there's the freefall, when it feels like your stomach's in your throat, and your heart somewhere outside of your body, beating wildly out of sheer fear. This is not much different. I'm a wolf among sheep, only I'm not trying to eat the freaking sheep, I'm trying to be one, trying to deny the wolf-side of me. Subsect. It's pretty fitting. I can never leave that part behind me. In some ways I don't want to, it's me after all. Then again, I wouldn't want my headstone to read "Even in death, he was a 17-year-old ass". I am me; an ass, a hoodlum, a complete jerk, a bookfreak, lost and found, regressing, egressing, ever- and neverchanging. I am me. Would I want to be different?_

"Jess?"

"Hey Cammie," he greeted her.

"Taking a break from the asylum?" Cammie smiled, setting down a cup infront of him, pouring coffee in it.

"I run from one experiment and end up in another one. How the hell did that happen?"

"Don't tell me I didn't warn you."

"You never did."

"Oh… Does that make me evil?"

"It makes you a scatterbrained, color-loving future owner of a coffeeshop," Jess replied, letting his eyes scan the last paragraph.

"Ah, and he's writing!"

"Yup. I told, or rather tried to tell Jake about my pending unemployment. The guy went completely nuts, and tried to rip me to shreds."

"Sounds like Jake," Cammie laughed, and sat down beside Jess.

"Yeah, Matt eventually had to come and play interference so Jake could get the full story."

"I'm sensing a 'but' around the corner."

"It made me think… About everything I was… Still am…" Jess mused contemplatively.

"Jess, what you are is what you are. Sure, you've done some crazy, even insane things, but you need to accept that and let it go."

"Yeah, and that's easy with a ticking bomb in the room next to me, waiting for a chance to get my knee caps."

"Forget Jake! You're upset because you haven't accepted your past yet. If you had, you wouldn't be worried about what others might think about you for having that kind of baggage," Cammie protested, gesturing wildly.

"I am not worrying!"

"It's a beautiful lie / It's a perfect denial…" Cammie quoted, a fierce tone in her voice .

"Say you had something equally… uncomfortable in your baggage. Would you accept it?" Jess retorted, equally fierce.

"Already have."

Jess cocked an eyebrow questioningly at her.

"Disowned by parents for prefering girls, nice memory you have there, Kerouac."

"Oh, yeah… there was that."

"Yeah, stung like a bitch in the beginning, I can't say it was my dream to have my parents disown me and more or less tell me I wasn't their daughter anymore. Bugged me for a heck of a long time, before I decided to do something about it. Last year I went home again to try and stage a peaceful intervention."

"And how did that go over?"

"Not so hot. There was screaming… on both sides, I might add, and it ended with me getting asked never to come see them again and then getting kicked out of the house."

"Nice, uplifting example there, I really feel ready to embrace my past, Cammie," Jess taunted sarcastically.

"Okay, so it wasn't the most uplifting experience I've ever had, but I'm glad I did it, because it helped me move on. Something for you to think about before your past kicks your scrawny ass."

Cammie then rose from the seat, walking off to the counter to serve one of the costumers there.

Going back. He had never considered it, never wanted to. Hadn't he made enough of a mess the past times he'd tried to go back and fix things? Still, the thought about trying to reconcile with his past and get it out of his system was tempting, and a chance to see Rory again doubly so. Jess didn't want to be ruled by his past.

_I won't be defeated, and I know what it means,_ he wrote. _It's the end of my journey, whenever it may come. It's still a long way down the road, but I know that that is what will meet me when I get there. No more lies or denial, what a relief that would be. No more guilt, blame or lame excuses, for that matter. I would need to go home once more. Not for excuses, or forgiveness, or even for goodbyes. This would be for me, and me only. This is Subsect._

_And it scares me._

* * *

**A/N**: I know that 30 Seconds to Mars' album "A Beautiful Lie" didn't come out until August 2005 (and we're currently in mid-June in the fic), but from the information I've gotten, the album was leaked five months before it was scheduled to be released, so yes, that sort of makes Cammie a downloader. *gasp*

Moving on. Hope you enjoyed the chapter, show some love!


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N**: And the Twilight-phase continues, which makes me feel kind of bad for not updating my Gilmore-fics, but I'm trying my best. A fair warning: Once the immediate Twilight-craze is over, doesn't mean I'll start updating more often. I have a busy school schedule, plus work twice a week that requires a fair bit of preparation in my spare time, so just bear with me. Once 2009 turns into 2010, I'll be able to focus on writing (school 2 days/week, job 1 day/week, yeah!).

Okay, rant over. You may proceed with reading the chapter. Unless you really want to read the disclaimer, 'cause that one's next.

**Disclaimer**: ASP owns Gilmore Girls and the characters associated. Makes me sad, because this could be kick-ass on tv.

* * *

"Come on, man, you can't hold that to yourself forever!"

"I thought we had already had this discussion, Matt. I'm not showing you the manuscript, nor am I telling you how many pages I've got down!"

Jess was cranky to say the least. This was his second week home, and it felt like he was slowly going crazy. He had absolutely nothing to do, the… thing he had been writing on was more or less ready, he just didn't want to tell Matt, because that would elicit a whole chain reaction, which he really didn't want to deal with. The work at the publishing house was slow and only a few days every week. To put things short: he was restless and just about ready to start climbing the walls out of sheer boredom.

The fact that the other guys had work to go to, while he sat alone in the crappy apartment just made him realize how much he really liked working. The first days he'd gone down to catch up with Cammie and see how the renovation-redecoration-shindig was going. The first day, she was flattered. The next she was happy. Third day, she kicked him out the door after an hour, and on the fourth day she barred him from entering until the whole place was done.

"Oh, don't think your fooling me with that whole 'it's not ready yet'-act," Matt scolded him. "You've been sitting in front of the computer for the last two hours, staring at the screen and not writing a damn thing. Admit it, you're done, and as your publisher, well, future publisher, I demand to see it!"

"Ever heard of a writer's block, genius? It's not done! You know how I know?" Jess replied testily. "Because I'm writing the damn thing!"

"No need to get antsy on my ass, I'm just looking out for your best interest."

"Yeah, well, go look after it somewhere else, 'cause from where I'm sitting, it's looking pretty dark."

"What's with you, man?" Matt asked, sounding overly concerned. "Don't say it's just because you're not working, 'cause it can't be that bad. What's with this thing that has you on edge? It's a novel, Jess, it's fiction. You wrote it, so you must have meant for someone to read it."

He couldn't answer. He couldn't tell Matt that he wasn't comfortable spreading out his life in a book for the whole world to read. He just couldn't say it. It would peak not only Matt's interest, but the others guys' as well. And once they caught on to the fact that what he was writing was more personal than he had let on, it was going to get ugly.

"You know what?" Matt sighed, shrugging his shoulders. "Fine. You keep it to yourself, don't tell me, it's obviously beyond my capability to understand."

"Come on, Matt…"

"No, you come on, dude. You keep hugging to that story like it's the thread by which your life hangs, Jess. At some point, you gotta let it go. We've all done it, believe it or not, and you just keep on postponing the inevitable."

Postponing the inevitable. Sounded much like Cammie's sermon from two weeks ago. Letting go, accepting reality, facing fears. But Matt wouldn't understand. None of them would.

"Maybe it is," Jess instead replied. "Maybe it is my thread, but don't you then push me to let go when I'm clearly comfortable hanging there, hoping that I will be miraculously saved."

"And the antsy keeps on coming…"

"Yeah, I'm antsy, it's my middle name. Deal with it."

"Whatever, dude, I need to get to work…"

Matt shook his head, pulled on his McDonald's-cap and was out the door before Jess could even get around to realize he should apologize.

"Great…" Jess muttered.

He had managed to more or less pick a fight with one of the guys who had been rooting for him to stay when he arrived in Philly with nothing more than… well, not much at all. He didn't have much now, but it was more than he had had since Stars Hollow. Rory would know what to do. She would know what to say, and just because this felt like an already crappy day, he'd even let her do one of her stupid pro-con lists. He'd let her do anything if she could only make him…

Jess didn't even know how to end that sentence.

_Part of me, a small part that only comes out when I revert back to asshole-mode, wants to go back and just fight one last time. Like there was ever a shot that I could atone for what I did to you. Another part wants to hurt you more, just so I could get you out of my head. Then there is a miniscule part of me that wants this to just… go away. No drama, no screaming, no leaving in the middle of things, no stupid words that should mean something but turn out empty because that's what we are; empty. I don't even know who I am anymore._

_Getting labeled made it easy. When an entire town thinks you're a badboy, it makes it so much easier being one. When one person thinks your half-way decent so long as you don't make coins appear from their ears, it makes it easy turning into one on occasion. But when the world makes you feel like the biggest loser ever because you screwed up a chance with that one person… It makes it so hard leaving that label behind. It sticks. It's Subsect. Tag, I'm it._

Hitting that final dot, seeing it all on the screen on the hundred and forty-second page, right at the bottom, was part liberating and part scary as hell. He hadn't written anything in days, feeling there was nothing to add, just holding out until it would feel okay to let it go. Jess doubted he would ever be okay letting it go. It was too personal, too much of himself to let anyone else take part of it. He knew Matt would probably call the his reasoning nonsense and then try to pry the computer from his hands. Cammie would call him an idiot and then… God only knows what she'd do. Again, Jess' thoughts returned to Rory. What would she do?

"She'd tell me not to be stupid and then force me to print it…" he thought, eyes shut, trying to conjure up the image of Rory telling him just those words. He could almost hear it. The determined stubbornness, a true Gilmore-trait.

"_Don't be stupid, Jess…"_

"_You gotta print this, Jess…"_

"_I know you can do it, Jess…"_

Something flared up in him, and it hurt. He had managed to keep the lid on the Rory-box inside himself shut nice and tight, only occasionally opening it to indulge in the small things that couldn't get to him. A quick smile, reliving parts of the bid-on-the-basket-shindig. It was all easy, very safe. But this… Imagining her, the things he knew she would say because she was Rory and by definition a sweet, kind girl, it wasn't healthy. He had ran away, she'd said she'd move on. Jess had believed her. That phonecall from Venice Beach when she figured out it was him, the disastrous visit to Yale. She had moved on. Why couldn't he?

He packed up his computer, deciding that staying at the apartment wouldn't do him any good. In New York he'd always gone to Washington Park when he needed to just be himself and take a break from the general craziness going on around him. He'd tried to look for a substitute for Washington Park here in Philly, and so far nothing had really stuck to him, but the closest he had come to a park he could consider coming back to was Clark Park, a couple of blocks away, and it was this park Jess decided to go to, hoping he could regain some focus.

It was one of those days when it was cloudy, but the sun still peeked out every now and then. The park wasn't as crowded as it had been last time, which suited Jess fine. He found a good spot under a tree, where he got his computer going, opened the document with the novel and then he just sat there. He couldn't do anything about it. Nothing came to him, and Jess felt beyond frustrated.

"Are you unhappy?"

He looked up from the computer screen when the childish voice spoke. It turned out to be a child, a little girl with fierce red hair, no older than six or seven. "I can't be a douche, I can't be a douche," he chanted silently to himself. It was one thing to be rude to Matt, he could take it most of the time. Being rude to a kid, a little girl… Unacceptable, even in Jess' book.

"I'm… not really happy," he responded, not really knowing if he was unhappy or not.

"Are you lost?" the girl asked quizzically, cocking her head.

Jess laughed at this. How like a kid to assume you're lost.

"I know where I am. Do you know?"

"I'm here, where are you?"

"You sure ask a lot of questions, kid."

"Why the sad-face?" the girl asked, ignoring his statement.

"I don't have a sad-face. I have a frustrated face."

"What's 'frustrated'?" The girl furrowed her brow, sitting down opposite him.

Jess sighed. He had never been good with kids. In fact, he had been terrible, he had even wanted to inflict some serious damage on the Floppy-Haired Tall Jerk's little sister.

"Do you know what irritated means?" he asked instead, concentrating on keeping his cool.

The girl nodded fervently, her hair flying all over the place.

"It's basically the same as frustrated, and I'm really irritated with myself."

"Why? Did you do something bad?"

Why did this kid care so much? Didn't she have some sort of playdate to go to or a fake-tea party for teddybears to host?

"Shouldn't you be with your parents or something?" Jess said instead, dodging the question.

"They went to get ice cream, and why did you do a bad thing?"

"I did not do a bad thing!"

"You didn't say you didn't do it, so that means you did it," the girl reasoned.

"Just because I didn't answer doesn't mean I did something bad."

"When I do something bad I don't tell anyone."

"Well, I'm not like you. I'm 20 years old, I don't do bad things."

That didn't even sound right. Jess knew he had done things that hadn't been all too good, and he still did things that weren't in his best interest.

"My sister's 18, and she does bad things all the time, it's really fun," the little girl giggled.

"Yeah? When I was 17 I was probably a lot like your sister."

"And you're not anymore? Did grow up and forgot how to fly?"

"Nice Peter Pan-reference. And I don't think I ever knew how to fly."

The little girl gaped at him, like it was completely unacceptable that he had never been like all those kids who believe in Peter Pan and think they can fly with a little fairy dust. He had believed. He believed the first five nights after his mom read him Peter Pan, and he stayed up waiting for Peter Pan to come get him. After that he pulled down the blinds and figured Peter Pan was too picky, and who wanted to fly anyway?

"What's your name?" the redheaded little girl asked.

"I'm Jess."

"I'm Posey. And you need to fly, Jess."

Right then they heard a woman yelling for Posey, presumably her mom, because Posey got all giggly and bounded off to her parents. Jess was left sitting under the tree, thinking about Posey's last words.

_"You need to fly, Jess."_

_"Don't be scared, Jess…"_

_"I know you can do it, Jess…"_

He flipped open his computer, made a hard copy, and simultaneously called Matt.

"Dude, unacceptable. You cannot call me at work and yell at me, I will not stand it."

"I'm not calling to yell at you, moron. I'm e-mailing you the manuscript for the novel," Jess laughed into the phone while logging into his e-mail account.

"Seriously? How many pages do I get?"

"All one hundred and forty two of them."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I have nothing left to add to this. It's done."

* * *

**A/N**: If anyone has seen the television movie "Ballet Shoes" (starring Emma Watson of Harry Potter fame) you can probably clue out where I got the name and the hair from. Leave some love people!


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N**: Okay, so there have been a lot of questions surrounding our/my use of 'subsect', and whether or not it's a real word. While there is no entry for subsect in neither Websters nor Oxford, there is 'subsection'. Websters defines subsection as "A section of a section; a part of a part; i.e., a part of something already divided." I've put in an explanation of 'subsect' and what it means to Jess in this chapter, and it does in some ways correlate to Websters definition of subsection. As for my use of subsect, keep in mind that when it pops up in this fic it's from excerpts of the final product, a book consisting of 142 pages. Okay, enough about this, let's get on with the chapter, shall we?

**Disclaimer**: Still don't own. But boy if it weren't so…

* * *

"Jess, explain something for me here," Matt said, slumping down on the couch beside Jess.

"Sure Matt, take a seat," Jess replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

He'd been hounded by Matt about the manuscript for three weeks now, to the extent where he almost regretted sending it to the annoying guy sitting next to him. Damn that little redhead in the park…

"What is subsect?" Matt asked, either ignoring the sarcasm or simply not picking up on it.

"What do you mean 'what is subsect'?"

"First of all, it's not even a real word. Trust me, I know, because I checked both Websters and the Oxford English Dictionary. Second, you use it a lot."

"So?" Jess asked, not sure where this was going.

"No, seriously, you use it a lot," Matt insisted, almost slamming the printed manuscript of Jess' book in his face. "You have a manuscript consisting of 142 pages, and you use the word 'subsect' 128 times. That's almost one subsect for every page, Jess."

"Matt, I don't know how to tell you this, but the English language is evolving. Maybe you haven't noticed, but we don't talk or write like Shakespeare anymore."

"Dude, I'm not a moron. Wait, how would that sound in Shakespearian?"

"Just back off about subsect! My word, I use it as I want to," Jess interrupted, tossing the manuscript back to Matt.

"A hundred and twenty-eight times?" Matt asked and cocked an eyebrow.

"Your anal retentiveness seems to know no boundaries…"

"Yeah, and your passive aggressive stunt is wearing me out," Matt countered. "You know, you've used it so many times and not even told the readers what it means."

"I was sort of banking on the readers having brains. You think that was too much to ask?"

"Jess, you're really turning into a first class a-hole here. Come on, can't you even divulge to me, your publisher, what subsect means?"

Jess sighed. Subsect. It had began in Venice Beach, him and Lily playing around, and suddenly Lily had stopped mid-action, looked at him and asked "Jess, are you subsect?" He didn't understand what she meant at first, but after she explained it to him, it became clear, and subsect had found its way onto paper.

"It is what is it…" Jess began, running his hands through his messy hair. "It's loneliness, solitude, never fitting in. It's being weird and non-conforming even among those who are already weird and non-conforming. Does that answer your question?"

"Wow…" Matt semi-whispered, looking rather awestruck. "Major _Breakfast Club_-moment here. Wait, you're not turning existentialist on me now, are you?"

"Is 'none of your damn business' answer enough?" Jess replied irritably, and rose from the couch, heading for the kitchen.

"Ten-four, Captain Sarcasm-for-words…"

Jess could hear Matt following him into the kitchen, but chose to ignore his self-proclaimed publisher in favor of making a ham on rye sandwich.

"Okay, so two more things," Matt prattled on, probably in an attempt to wear him down with incessant talking. "One, how much of this is autobiographical…"

Jess flinched, and dropped the sandwich.

"What do you mean 'autobiographical'?" he interrupted and turned around, instantly guarded.

He had tried so hard to keep the true nature of his book under wraps, and he refused to have that facade torn down now. If the guys thought it was all, or mostly made up it would make things easier for everyone involved, especially Jess' knee caps.

"Well, you came from Cali, as did the nameless protagonist in your book… Plus, we're in it…"

"You seriously think this is about me? Maybe I made up everything else? Maybe none of the things that could be about me are real? Maybe I didn't come from California to Philly? What do you really know about my life before I came to Philly?"

He had to tell himself not to blow his fuses, or else Matt, as gullible as he could be, would never believe him.

"You're Jess Mariano," Matt began, and Jess could see Matt was thinking hard to try to come up with facts. "You say you've lived in New York, Connecticut, and you at least said you came from Cali when we met you. You know someone whose name is Luke, you've had a girlfriend for two years, which means you're not gay, you can cook, you've worked at Wal-Mart and… Yeah, that's about it."

"You see?" Jess urged, trying to sound convincing while picking up his sandwich. "You know jack about me, so don't go around speculating if this is autobiographical or not. Just be happy that I let you read it."

"Riiight…Okay, so, moving on to the second issue… I need, and mind you, I was going to say 'want', but since you're Mr. Personality today, I'll settle for need…"

"What do you need, Matt?" he interrupted between chews.

"A dedication. Please, don't bust my balls, 'cause I really, really like them."

"Fine."

"Fine? Fine as in 'Fine, I'll give you a dedication' or fine as in 'Fine, I won't bust your balls'?"

"Fine as in 'Fine I'll write you a stupid dedication and I won't bust your balls'," Jess clarified.

"So no insults, minor tantrums or juvenile silent treatments?"

Matt looked at him as if he was an alien. Was he really that pissy that a gesture like this would earn such a surprised reaction?

"Take it or leave it," Jess said, shrugging his shoulders, finishing the sandwich.

"Oh, I'll take it, before you pull a complete 180 on me."

"You're relentless…"

"Thank you. And I want that dedication stat. Don't forget to tip your publisher," Matt joked before disappearing out of the kitchen, and into his and Chris' room.

Jess sighed again, and sat down at the kitchen table, rubbing his temples. He really hoped Cammie would be finished with the renovation soon. She had called him yesterday to congratulate him on getting his ass off of the crazy manuscript hugging-wagon. Jess had skillfully avoided talking about the book by asking when he could get back on track with a job and something that would remotely resemble a social life.

"_You're so high maintenance,"_ _Cammie had laughed. "Go do something deep and constructive, like thinking about the meaning of life, or solving the Middle East-crisis, or find out why my washing machine always eats my favorite socks. I would even consider paying you for solving the last bit!"_

They had bantered over the sock-issue for a couple of minutes, with Cammie insisting it had to be karma, while Jess thought that they had to factor in the washing machine itself, even washing machines had to get hungry. Cammie gave him points for that and told him he could have a heart-to-heart with her washing machine until he got his job back, which would hopefully be in one or two weeks, tops.

"Okay, I'm leaving for work!" Matt yelled, making Jess jump in his seat.

"You got work today?" he called back, peeking out into the livingroom just in time to see Matt swoosh by in full attire.

"Yeah, got called back in. My boss promised me a bonus, so… Hey, would you mind going down to the publishing house today and check if Chris' contact Callum has dropped off his manuscript? He's one week overdue, and if he doesn't submit it today we can't print it, 'cause we've got a double number of Zine coming up, and that's gonna take time, ink and money, so either he submits today or he gets pushed back I don't know how long.

"Okay… What if the guy's a no-show?"

"Tell you what, I'll leave you his number," Matt said, and Jess heard the scratching of a pen. "If he doesn't submit jack by 2.45 p.m, call him and tell him his deal is put off until further notice. Then you wait fifteen minutes. If he doesn't show by then, his deal is definitely off."

"You don't seem to have that much control over the clients…" Jess remarked, and walked out into the livingroom that had also been his bedroom since he came here.

"Most of these guys are people me, Chris, Reg and Jake have known for years, and I guess they think we're still in high school, and it doesn't matter if they're a bit late."

"But you're running a business. Your business relies on those guys being on time and submitting their stuff when you've asked them to. You give them a shot at publishing something original, don't you think they should show you the same respect?"

"Dude, your moodswings are making me all confused here, but yeah, I guess they should."

"Do you like working at McDonald's?" Jess asked, nodding towards the cap on Matt's head.

"Sure… I mean, it's temporary and all that, until we get the publishing gig going… Until then I guess it's okay."

"No offense here, but I don't see you fighting for it. You're after me about my book like a freaking pitbull, but I don't see you chasing down your other authors and poets, nagging about previews and deadlines and things like that. Chris can't even keep a leash on his author. Jake and Reg are happy where they are, I mean, Jake practically lives at that record store, and Reg seems to be happy about his job, even though that has panned out pretty good in our advantage."

With Reg in a bookstore, he'd been able to pick up not only on good tips on how to run a business, but he had also scoped a couple of promising talents, and managed to get a few of them to hand in previews of their work to the guys.

"Jess, having visions and dreams is easy, but getting the whole thing to roll… is a completely different thing. I don't want this to flop, trust me, I'd probably arrange a wake if the publishing house didn't work out, but knowing that there will be something to fall back on if this fails isn't that bad. Ask any of the guys, and they'll tell you the same."

"You're not serious…"

"Heck yes, I'm serious!"

"No, you're not serious about the publishing house. I've spent months writing something you all, Cammie included, told me would be great and was worth publishing, and now you're not even serious about running through with the business! We've put out what, three-four book since I came here, the Zine's picking up, why do you want to give up?"

"I don't…" Matt began, unsure.

"Then quit being such a lameass about it! You've been on me like a leech about my book, and though it's been a royal pain at times, I know I would never have finished it without that constant nagging, well, that and a redhead kid in a park, but anyway… Start acting like that with your other authors, nothing says 'finish your damn book' like a Matt-attack in the morning."

"Seriously?"

"No, I'm kidding," Jess retorted, mock-serious. "Of course I'm serious. Get your butt out of here, you're making me all normal and softie."

"Aw, Jess, you old softie…" Matt teased.

"If you leave now, I'll edit out a couple of subsects…"

"How many?"

"The longer you stay, the less subsects I'll cut."

"Sold!"

Matt was out of the door in three seconds flat. Jess smirked, and walked over the coffee table by the couch that had been his bed for the past months. He quickly found the note with Callum's cell phone number on it.

"Why wait to 2.45 p.m..?" Jess mumbled to himself, a satisfied grin on his face.

* * *

**A/N**: You know what to do, right? Reviews make me want to write another chapter.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N**: It took me some time to update, but now the day has finally come for Cedar Parks 17th chapter. It's really ridiculous how much I like writing this story, and it warms Kassandra's and my heart to see that you like it too. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: We don't own the characters from Gilmore Girls, they're the properties of their respective owners. But we do own Cammie. She's just too cool.

* * *

"Yeah?"

"Is this Callum?" Jess asked calmly, looking at the piece of paper with Callum's phone number on it.

"Yeah, who's this?"

"I'm Jess M… I'm Jess, and I'm calling…"

"Dude, I don't know how many times I've told people like you, haven't you got the memo already?" Callum mumbled, sounding a bit incoherent. Either this guy was stoned, or Jess had woken him up.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm not buying anything!"

"And I'm not selling anything," Jess quipped sharply. "Matt asked me to call."

"Matt? As in Chris's pal Matt with the nerdy knitted vest and the publishing company?"

Jess sighed. This was gonna be a lot harder than he thought. On the other hand, if this Callum-dude was as slack as he sounded, this could be fun, too.

"Yeah, he asked me to call. You're late."

"What? Late for what?"

"You've got some material we were supposed to print."

"Oh… Oh, right, when do you want it?" Callum asked, realization tinting his voice, though not in the "Shit, I forgot my deadline was last week"-way.

"Last week," Jess said pointedly, sitting down on the couch, rubbing his temple with his free hand.

"Oh. Oh… My bad, dude. You know how it is…"

"Frankly, I don't."

"Come on, dude, I mean, they don't mind if I'm a couple of days late…"

"Really? So why was I told to call and bust your balls for it?"

Not entirely true, but Callum didn't need to know that. Jess just felt like messing with Callum, and made a mental note to call a meeting with the guys when they got home to discuss the overall slack attitude towards deadlines.

"Fine, I'll drop it off tomorrow…" Callum grunted at the other end of the line, ready to hang up and continue with whatever he was doing before Jess called. Jess had a sneeking suspicion that a bong was involved.

"Callum, you need to drop off your stuff today."

"Really? Says who? You? See, I've known Matt and Chris for a long time, and I know they hang out with Reggie and Jake, and funnily enough, I've never heard them mention… What did you say your name was?"

"Jess," Jess told him irritatingly. "I'm new, and I don't have any patience with slackers."

"Dude, I'm one week late, big deal!"

One week overdue was brushed off with "big deal". What the hell kind of publishing house did these guys run? Matt still handed out business cards that were handwritten on scraps of paper he found, the guys seemed to have no control whatsoever over their poets and authors, and they also seemed to like their regular day jobs better than the publishing house. Heck, Jimmy even had more control over his business, and that was still a place of minor chaos.

Jess caught himself wondering why he had bothered relinquishing his inner thoughts to these guys when they obviously sorely lacked the passion to take their business to the next level. He should have given Matt and Chris a severe tell-off when they caught up with him at the news stand when he'd first arrived in Philadelphia and then… What then? What would he have done if they hadn't convinced him to let them publish his writings? Would he have left Philly, disgruntled and even more lost than before, having added yet another city to his list of Pissy American Cities? Would he even have survived the first night he spent on the park bench?

No matter how hard he tried to, the pros of having stayed with the guys cancelled out the cons, and Jess realized he had actually developed some kinds of liking to Philly. He liked living here. He had found a bunch of people he could actually stand, even sincerely like on days when they didn't behave like pre-schoolers. He liked working with Cammie. And, there was no denying this: he really kind of liked having finished his "thing", a thing that would become a book. Jess took one deep breath.

"First of all," he began, emulating Serious Uncle Luke like there was no tomorrow. "Stop calling me 'dude', my mom named me Jess for a reason. Second of all, it is not acceptable for you to be one week late with your stuff. Have you any idea how much work that goes into publishing Zine and every manuscript we get? Can you even grasp what it means to us to finish each number, to find stuff to publish by wieners like yourself? This is a business, Callum, do you know what that means? It means we publish your stuff, how great or abysmal it may be, and the only thing we ask of you is that you turn in your stuff on-freaking-time!"

Without having realized it, Jess had raised his voice, so by the time he got to the end of his rant, he was shouting into his phone. He quickly quieted down, listening for Callum. At first, there was nothing, not a sound, not even the hint of a breath, and Jess was sure Callum had hung up on him.

"O…kay, du… Jess," Callum whined abjectly. "I'll turn it in… whenever you want it."

Another deep breath.

"I'm heading over to the publishing house now. It takes me about ten minutes with minor traffic to get there. Now, I don't care where in Philly you live, if you're not outside waiting for me when I get there, you can kiss any future attention from Locust Publishing goodbye," Jess instructed Callum, and then hung up before Callum could respond.

Hastily, he took whatever things he needed for the quick trip to the publishing house, shrugged on his leather jacket and left the apartment.

Since it was mid-day, there was a whole lot of traffic, and it took him almost fifteen minutes to get to Locust Publishing. He frowned when he saw the rundown building. It hadn't changed much from when he saw it the first time, but they had at least bought a new deadbolt lock for the door, and also spent a weekend trying to clean out the worst chaos inside. Though the money they now earned by publishing Zine was a welcome addition, it didn't do much in the long run. The equipment was still old and outdated, and the interior of the business space would largely benefit from renovation. Then again, Jess thought, the equipment worked, and because it was old, no one had yet tried to steal anything.

To his great relief, Jess spotted a person by the door to the publishing house, someone he took to be Callum. He was tall and gangly and pale, like Reg, but unlike Reg, Callum had long, strawblonde hair, and a face that vaguely resembled a frog. He was clutching a large, brown envelope, and when he spotted Jess, Jess could've sworn Callum got even paler.

"You Callum?" Jess asked, not bothering to go through the business of greetings and introductions. He knew he should be the bigger man here and act serious and business-like, but today he just felt like messing with everyone.

"Y-yeah… Are you Jess?" Callum replied shakily.

"Come on, step in."

Jess unlocked the door, and they both stepped into Locust Publishing. The front room was mostly empty, with a lopsided counter, a small table and a pack of chairs around it. The prints were in the backroom, along with manuscripts and copies of every book and every edition of Zine they had published, locked in a dirty-white cupboard.

Jess motioned for Callum to sit down, and Callum in turn handed Jess the envelope with the manuscript. They sat in silence, while Jess speedily skimmed Callum's writing. It was good, not totally original, he could quite easily spot heavy influences from Rabelais and Balzac. He also noted that it was a little rough around the edges, but there was simply no time for editing.

"It's okay," he finally stated, after twenty minutes, and Callum flinched.

"Really?" Callum gasped, sounding relieved. "So you'll print it?"

"We'll print it all right. It could use some editing on your part, from what I can see you've stuck fairly good to your influences and your storyline, but there are some minor digressions that could be edited to better fit the overall impression, but since there is no time, we have to print it as it is."

"Okay…"

"If you had turned this in last week when you were supposed to," Jess said pointedly, giving Callum a quick scowl. "You would have had time to edit this and the end product would have turned out spectacular."

"Man, I told you, my bad…"

"This is the consequence of slacking off. You end up with a sloppy novel. You're a promising author, Callum, but you'll never get the attention you deserve by handing in incomplete material in the nick of time."

"Got it…" Callum gulped, letting out a gust of air.

"Now get the hell out of here, and pray I don't have to call you again to bust you for missing a deadline," Jess smirked, and gave Callum another scowl, which sent the already scared writer running out the building.

He spent an hour or so organizing the manuscript, making sure everything was set for printing it, after which he called Matt and said that Callum's script was green-lighted and that they could start printing it this evening if someone would accompany him. It was always easier to print if there were two guys there, since the equipment was old and needed a bit of manhandling to work. Jess hated the printers with a passion, and each time he had to babysit those freaking machines, he hoped that the person who sold this place to Matt and Chris was choking on his own spitefulness.

"How's the dedication coming along?" Matt asked, after the business of Callum's manuscript was handled.

"Slowly," Jess deadpanned. "Even slower if you ask me one more time."

"Fine, Grumpy, keep hogging it like you hogged the book itself. With any luck you'll be published by the end of the year," his flatmate countered sourly.

"Do I seem to be in any hurry?"

"Are you ever? See you at home in an hour."

"You're getting off in one hour? Did you get fired or something?"

"Har-de-freaking-har. It's slow, so my boss is letting me off early."

They ended the call, and Jess checked one last time to see everything was in order, before he locked up and left the publishing house. He was bored, and didn't want to return home, so he quickly turned up the next street and headed towards Cammie's coffee shop. He hadn't visited in a while, so surely she would let him in now.

The windows to the coffee shop were still all taped up with thick, brown paper, and the exterior was still a bit torn, and Jess could only assume that the new signboard still hadn't arrived. He knocked on the door, despite having the key. Last time he'd entered without permission, Cammie had ran him out, looking like an neon amazon on meth.

"Who is it?" Cammie yelled from inside.

"It's Jess, can I come in?"

"Sure, just hold on a second!"

He could hear a lot of rumbling, and seconds later the door cracked open a bit and Cammie peeked out.

"Could you maybe come in from the back, I don't want you to see what it looks like in here," she smiled mischievously.

Jess shrugged, happy that she'd at least let him come in. He jogged in behind the building the coffee shop was in, and was greeted by Cammie, who was holding the back door open for him.

"Good to see you Jess, I almost thought I'd scared you away last time you tried to visit," Cammie beamed and pulled him inside, closing the door loudly behind him.

"Like you could ever scare me, Cammie," Jess smirked, as they walked into the breakroom.

It was basically the same as before, but Cammie had added some furniture and there was also a small pantry there now. He spotted a full pot of coffee and nodded towards it.

"What?" Cammie turned around. "Oh yeah, go ahead, knock yourself out. If you don't, the coffee will. I've been here since yesterday, those damn contractors are about as reliable as politics, so I've been here waiting for them to show up with the last of the stuff, and because they don't have all the time in the world to wait for me, I have to be here until they've dropped off my stuff, so I'm basically running on caffeine now, which is not good for my stomach lining."

Again, Jess had a sudden flashback to Stars Hollow. Rory and Lorelai, stumbling into Luke's yelling "Coffee, coffee, coffee!" at the top of their lungs, yearning for a caffeine fix. Cammie was turning into them. This was so not good. He allowed himself a second of hurt before he locked the feelings away, and moved to pour himself a cup of coffee. Cammie had sat down by a table, though sat might be the wrong word. She was jittery and jumpy, and looked like a ghost, her pale features in stark contrast to her fiery red hair.

"You should switch to tea," Jess remarked as he sat down opposite her, sipping on his coffee. "It contains only half the caffeine and it's not as bad for you."

"Like you could ever picture me drink tea," Cammie snorted, finding the idea of tea midly repulsive. "I'm a coffee gal, end of story."

"Jeez, you should be sent to rehab… My uncle would get a heart attack from you."

"Oh, the famous uncle, is this the same uncle who lived in Stars Hollow."

"He is not famous, and yeah, it's the same man."

"Cool! So, how's the novel coming?"

Jess frowned, why was everyone hounding him about the novel? Wasn't it enough that he was trying and wanted it to be perfect?

"Did I say something wrong?" Cammie instantly said, noticing his frown.

"Nah… It's… I've got my hands full keeping Matt off my case, I don't need another person hounding me about the novel, I'm doing my best. I mean, I turned it in for them to publish, why do they need to rush it? We've got a book going to print tonight, and an extensive number of Zine going after that. Matt's on me like a leech about a dedication, and I don't see why he needs it stat, 'cause it's not like the books going to print tomorrow, or even next week."

"Do you want me to come and send them to the naughty corner?"

"I think they're past the age when the naughty corner works," Jess pointed out with a wry smile.

"Resistance is futile," Cammie then quipped with a laugh.

They fell into the comfortable zone where they would talk about anything, from Cammie's rampageous washing machine, to Jess contemplation over still sleeping on a couch, despite having spent almost five months in Philly, before they segued into discussing the coffee shop and the mildly chaotic renovation. Apparantly, this wasn't the first time the contractors Cammie had hired had bailed or showed up late, which was why it had taken so long. They were in the middle of a discussion over whether Jess would get to organize the storage room this time, when Jess's phone rang.

"Hello?" he answered, still smiling from Cammie's remark about getting a special shelf for the Rocky Road's.

"Dude, what did you do?" Chris yammered loudly.

"Could you be a bit more specific?"

"At noon today, I get a call from Callum, who was sounding like a hysterical old lady, asking me where we found the Nightmare Man. What did you do to him?"

"I mainly pointed out to Callum the necessity of him and every other author and poet we publish turning in their stuff on time," Jess stated calmly. "No one said anything about handling Callum with special care, so…"

"Dude, he was one week overdue, you could've gone easy on the guy!"

"Exactly, he was one week overdue. We shouldn't have had to call at all."

"What?"

Jess sighed.

"Are everyone home?" he asked.

"Reg and Jake are on their way home, they shouldn't be long. Why?" Chris replied.

"We need to talk."

Jess hung up, thanked Cammie for the coffee and told her to call him the instant he could have his job back. Then he left, heading home towards the bedlam that surely awaited him.

* * *

**A/N**: Review, review, review. You know, last night I actually dreamt about contacting ASP and asking her it would be okay to publish this as a tie-in to the show. My wishful thinking has invaded my nightsleep. My brain needs a vacation.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N**: Thank you all for the reviews, keeps the story going and so forth. gish, since you don't seem to have an account I can't reply to your review, so I'm doing it here. The plan is to keep it canon, so eventually there will be the season 6 appearances, yes. How Jess gets there remains to be seen. Allrighty, then. I should already be asleep, so short A/N this time. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: Do not own. Except for everybody's favourite colorcrazy waitress. That's right. Cammie belongs to Kass and me.

* * *

When Jess got home, he could see his four room mates were sitting on the couch, some of them looking grumpier than others. Chris looked a bit ticked off, which Jess took as a sign that Matt had somehow gotten back at Chris for last week's t-shirt stunt (which involved Matt's white work t-shirt and a red sock...). Jake looked genuinely grumpy, which held all the promise of this turning into a very reasonable and low key talk. Or not.

"Finally, the man of the hour, on the hour," Jake greeted him sourly when Jess walked up to them.

"Could this be brief, I have a date?" Reg said proudly, beaming at him.

"Is she blind?" Jess blurted out, instantly kicking himself mentally. He was trying not to be mean, especially now when he needed the guys to be supportive.

"What?"

"Nothing, moving on… So, I guess you're all wondering why we're here."

"In this particular spot or just in general?" Jake quipped from his place inbetween Matt and Reg, his hands crossed over his chest.

"Take your pick," Jess replied irritably.

"I'm guessing it has to do with Callum…" Chris replied, cocking his eyebrow.

"Yeah, you can call me the Boogeyman from now on."

"Get to the point, Jess… Or, well, the Boogeyman," Matt urged on, motioning with his hand for Jess to continue. "Zine will not print itself, unless you called up Cinderella's fairy godmother and those notorious birds."

Jess stifled a laugh, and he could almost see the mental note Jake made to mock Matt mercilessly for it.

"The point is… Why did you start the publishing house?"

The guys just stared at him, as if he'd told them that neither Santa nor the tooth fairy were real, or that Bob Dylan would be the new posterboy for NRA. He sighed, mentally rolling his eyes. It wasn't like it was a hard question or anything.

"What do you mean, why did we start it?" Reg asked, being the first to recover from this obivously mindblowing question.

"Do I really need to explain it further? 'Cause I thought I was being pretty damn clear. Why did you start the publishing company? Did you all have lifelong dreams of working in publishing, putting out a magazine and printing material that your slacker friends produce?"

"Hey, those are our friends you're talking about!" Reg protested, pointing to himself, Jake, Matt and Chris.

"Yeah, on Saturday nights, when you meet them at the bar they're your friends, but when you're hounding them for manuscripts, printing their material and distributing their work they're not your friends, they're your business, your clients and your responsibility."

"Says Mystery Man who won't let us publish his work," Matt pointed out challengingly.

"Trust me, Matt, my book will get published only because I know you will annoy the hell out of me if I don't."

"Here we go again…"

"Go bug someone else, you'll get the full manuscript when I feel ready to relinquish it," Jess sneered, and once again he had to tell himself to chill out and not go all ballistics.

"Go buy yourself a Blanky and get it over with," Jake sneered testily.

"Go…" Jess began, but was interrupted by Chris.

"Okay, let's not digress here, I have a feeling the house will not stand much longer if this continues…"

Jess gave Jake a scowl, much like the one he'd given Callum. Unfortunately, Jake was not Callum, and simply returned his scowl with a scowl of his own.

"Guys, you can have a scowl-standoff after this meeting. Now move on, I can't be late," Reg said, squirming on the couch, constantly looking at his watch.

"Fine... Okay… So can I get an answer to my question about why you started the publishing company?"

Again, there was silence, and with the blatant lack of progress, Jess was ready to just dismiss the whole meeting and pretend he'd never brought up the subject.

"Because we like it, okay?" Jake finally replied, managing to sound astoundingly calm and collected.

"You like it?"

"We all went to high school together…" Jake continued, and Jess resisted the urge to say _"How darling"_. "Those two were the nerdy kids in the back of the class who always scored gold in essay contests and creative writing tasks."

Jake pointed to Matt and Chris, and Jess was not the least surprised, since they looked almost proud of being referred to as the nerds.

"I was on the lacrosse team, but got benched for some incidents of unnecessary violence involving a lacrosse stick and members of opposing teams, so I got sent to the news paper where I hooked up with Reg…"

"Who had been sent there, because the A/V club dethroned me," Reg filled in.

"They dethroned you?" Jess asked, not sure he wanted to hear the end of that story.

"Long story. It involed iPods."

"Enough said…"

"So through some freak accident, or whatever, all four of us got stuck in a room and since the world didn't implode by the insane amount of geek talk that took place instead of a lousy interview about a killer essay Matt and Chris had collaborated on, the only one I might add, and for your own safety, don't bring it up again, we found we had one thing in common."

"Too much free time?" Jess guessed, a tad sarcastically.

"A common disliking of the books put out during that particular year," Chris corrected him, shaking his head at the mere memory of it. "I'm serious, it was a sad, sad year for avid readers in Philadelphia."

"Chris and Matt already knew people who wrote poetry, and since Jake and I were on the school paper, we figured we could combine that into a poetry magazine of some sort. It worked for one issue, then Jake's dormant serious investigating journalist-gene kicked into gear, and before I knew it, I was Bernstein to his Woodward," Reg told him, while Jess tried to fight the visuals and numerous mocking possibilities that came with that statement.

"After a while it became clear we needed more space than Matt's room could offer, so we went out looking, and we found the place on Locust Street, complete with printers…"

"Old printers," Jake chipped in, who hated the printers almost as much as Jess did.

"Fine, the equipment isn't state of the art but it works," Reg admitted hesitantly before he continued. "And yeah, that's about it..."

"Wow, the Locust Publishing-episode of _This Is Your Life_ will positively suck…" Chris muttered, dragging a hand through his afro.

"So why did we recant the history of our business to you?" Jake asked.

"Oh, so it's a business? I'm sorry, I thought this was a hobby," Jess replied, cocking his head.

"A hobby, are you serious?"

"I should be asking you the same question."

"What about this does not say 'business'?" Reg inquired, managing to tear himself away from his watch.

"Do you want me to go alphabetically or just call 'em as I see 'em? You have absolutely no control over your writers, being one week late is brushed off with 'no big deal', Matt hands out handwritten business cards, I incur fear in the clients because I happen to like structure, and you all like your dayjobs better than you seem to like this so called business of yours!"

"Hey, you were the one who told us to get regular jobs, remember?" Jake was back in scowl-mode, and looked ready to pounce.

"Yeah, because this business of yours gobbles money like a South American dictator! The printers alone cost a fortune to maintain, there are costs for paper and ink. I assume you've got some kind of insurance on the place, and there's cost for water and electricity…"

"You've made your point, IRS, the cash flow sucks, what else is new?" Matt asked, interrupting Jess's rambling.

"If you intend to run this as a business then something needs to change."

"Change? What could we possibly change? We got dayjobs to save up for the things you already mentioned, we cut down Zine's circulation, which in turn cut down some paper costs," Matt countered, getting up from the couch.

"Well, for one, you could try adding up the numbers and see how much those printers are costing us, you know, material and maintenance and stuff like that. Then check and see if it would be cheaper to use a printing firm and just focus on the publishing. If we're lucky some insane person might actually want to buy the old printers and we can make some actual money off of them."

There was a beat of silence, before the entire room exploded in shouts and chatter. Apparantly, this was a sore subject. In between various profanities thrown at him (Jake), there were weak arguments about having scoped printing places (Matt, though when Jess asked him, he admitted that was while they were still in high school and didn't have the funds) or the fact that Zine would lose it's charm if it was printed with fancy printers on fancy paper (Reg, obviously desperate to get to his date). Chris was trying desperately to meddle with Jake, who looked ready to go for round two with Jess's knee caps. Matt and Reg both joined the meddling attempts, and after fifteen minutes of yelling and some rogue punches that fortunately missed any and all target, the guys were back on the couch.

"I know, you think my suggestion was… well, radical apparantly, but face it, there is something to it."

"Dude, you're like Dean Moriarty to us!" Jake exclaimed, still angry that he had lost the almost-fight.

"Have I married any one of you?" Jess asked in return, not taking particular joy in once again being likened to someone from _On the Road_.

"No," Jake replied.

"Dragged you out on the road?"

"No, not literally…"

Jake was looking grumpier and grumpier by the second with Jess calling him on the Dean Moriarty-reference.

"Have I engaged in deep, intellectual conversations with any of you? Do I have disturbing drinking patterns?"

"No…"

"Have you even read _On the Road_?" Jess finally asked Jake, since that seemed to be the only option for the asinine statement.

"Got to page 122, then I had to stop before the need to off myself got the upper hand," Jake rebutted with a wry smile.

"So you basically have no idea what you're talking about?"

"Shut up…"

Jess smirked, then turned to the others.

"Okay, since you're not ready to ride without your safety wheels, how about a compromise? We make a thorough schedule over when to publish who's material, and we at least try to look into the possibility of printing our material at a printing firm?" he proposed, looking hopefully at the guys.

"No deal," Jake and Reg said almost immediately.

"Guys, hold on," Matt reprimanded them. "The schedule-thing sound good, I mean , Jess is right. We're a business, and we're working with deadlines, right?"

Chris nodded affirmatively, while Jake and Reg hummed noncommittingly.

"Okay, so the schedule-issue is set. Chris, you and Jake make the schedule tonight, while me and Jess print Zine. Now, about the printers…"

"Matt! How can you even consider getting rid of Rita and Frank?" Reg exclaimed, outraged.

"Rita and Frank?" Jess asked incredulously.

"Rita Hayworth and Frank Sinatra. Yes, he needs his head checked, I've told him already," Jake filled in, playfully nudging Reg, who slapped Jake over the head in return.

"Reg, Rita and Frank are basically senior citizens," Matt told Reg, sounding like a concerned parent. "They've had a good long life, okay? I'm willing to look into our finances, see if it would be cheaper to hire a firm to print for us. I'll do it on one condition, though…"

"What?" Jess asked, feeling a big 'but' coming along any second.

"I'll start checking once I get the final manuscript for your novel."

Everyone's eyes were on Jess, and Jess was staring daggers at Matt.

"Come on, it's not that much to ask for. One final edit, and that damn dedication you've been guarding like it's a matter of life and death," Matt tried coaxing.

"Anyone else who would be willing to check into the printing-issue without demanding anything from me?" Jess asked, ignoring Matt's futile attempt at getting him to cave with a failed puppy dog stare.

No one volunteered. It was like they were all in on it, and on second thought, they very well might be. Which left Jess with two choices: Not relinquishing his novel and go down with Locust Publishing when it drowned in expenses, or he could let the guys publish him, and they would potentially save a lot of money.

"Fine…" he finally grunted. "You'll get the final copy in… two weeks."

"Come on! I know you don't need that much time, man! It's not that hard to write a dedication and edit out a few subsects!"

"You know what Marcel Proust probably would have told his annoying friend, had he not been busy writing the longest novel known to man?"

"Pass me another biscuit?" Chris offered before Matt could open his mouth, much to the amusement of Reg and Jake.

"No, back off!" Jess retorted quickly, and with much irritation, before another failed witty remark could be thrown his way.

"Because you and Proust were BFF's, for sure," Matt muttered, having regained momentum, something which earned him a scowl from Jess. "What? You both like hogging books like there's no tomorrow."

"Yeah, and you know that because you're one of his annoying friends, reincarnated to make me miserable, right?"

"Hilarious, Tracy…" Matt mock-jeered.

"Right back at ya, Hepburn," Jess quipped sharply.

This remark made Jake keel over with laughter, howling on about how this in combination with Matt's earlier Cinderella-comment might just prove that Matt was really a girl. Jess rolled his eyes, and took a deep breath.

"Ten days, that's my last offer, take it or leave it," he told Matt despondently.

"You're on."

Matt held out his hand towards him, and they two guys shook on the matter. In the background, Reg let out a huge gust of air.

"Okay, so meeting dismissed, yeah? Great! See you later, you dateless suckers!"

Reg shot up from the couch, grabbing his stuff as he went, and was out of the apartment before anyone could say goodbye. Jess turned to the remaining three.

"Okay, meeting over, or whatever. Now, if you excuse me…" He shot Matt a pointed glance. "I have a novel to edit."

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**A/N**: You all know what to do. The review-button beckons you.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N**: I'm starting to feel a bit like the White Rabbit (as in getting all spazzed out, singing that I'm late), but thankfully you won't have to see that in action. Thank you to those who reviewed (especially _Chibified Youkai 101_ and _palforpolkadots_, welcome to the gang!), and everyone else who read this. Welcome to gish who got an account and who's provided me with a lot of good PM-conversation. Enjoy chapter 19!

**Disclaimer**: You know we don't own Gilmore Girls, or any of the recognizable characters. Colorful, kick-ass Cammie's ours, though.

* * *

Jess's allotted ten days seemed to go by almost too fast for it to be entirely normal. He reluctantly reviewed and edited his manuscript, mostly without annoying interruptions. He even tried to come up with ways to stall the entire process, but ultimately came up with nothing that would work. Meanwhile, the guys were doing what they could to keep the business going. Jess was fairly pleased to see that they'd found a way to put Jake and his quick temper to good use, since he had had no problems whatsoever with convincing the various friends and friends of friends to turn in their material on time from now on. Along with Reg, Jake was now in charge of the weekly printing schedule, while Chris had joined Matt in the quest for a good printing firm. The printers they had turned out to be money gobblers of epic proportions, and they were surprised that they had made any money at all from printing Zine and selling a limited number of printed novels and anthologies. Not even Reg had any problem with letting go of Frank and Rita and search for a printing firm after that particular revelation.

Jess was now down to his last day of editing. He was slumped down on the couch, trying to come up with something good to put as his dedication. Any and all thanks sounded painfully cheesy and contrived, and come on, he wasn't really the person who wrote compassionate semi-tear jerking stuff, which was what dedications essentially were. And, if he had to thank someone, it should be Rory. After all, he probably wouldn't have had the inspiration and drive to write, to process, to prove himself and to keep writing even when it was painful or uncomfortable. But he couldn't put her name in a dedication, not when he had gone to such lenghts to keep her name out of this, to keep himself detached from the entire thing, really. He wasn't pining (not anymore, at least), this was it. The book, writing it and finishing it, had been him pining, being angry, desperate, and broken, accepting the situation for the messed up thing it was. It would be there for the entire world, or at least Philadelphia, to see if only they looked close enough with their brains turned on. He felt no need to brand Rory with a dedication. He hadn't been all too gentle on her, neither in real life, nor in some parts of the book. Linking her to his words would open wounds, and he didn't want to hurt anyone, not her, not himself, not anyone. It was what it was, end of story.

"Hello? Anybody alive in there?"

Jess flinched out of his reverie when Cammie's voice cut through the shroud of thoughts. She was banging away at the door like something was on fire, and Jess hurriedly got up to open the door for her before Matt, who'd pulled nightshift last night, would wake up in the other room and give him crap.

"Could you keep it down?" Jess greeted Cammie in a hushed voice when he opened the door.

"Keep it down? What, you got your Granny napping in the other room?" Cammie replied with a laugh.

"Matt, but hey, I'll tell him you called him Granny. He had the nightshift last night, and he always turns into such a cranky twerp if he doesn't get his beauty sleep."

"Right… My bad, didn't know."

Jess shook his head, and moved out of the way to let Cammie sauntered in, twirling through the room as she went, with her blazing red and orange hair dancing on her back.

"Okay, seriously," Jess said after a moment's silence, closing the door behind him. "How are you not bald? You've changed the colour of your hair at least six times since I got here."

"Hair of steel, my scrawny friend, hair of steel," Cammie smiled conspiratorially. "This is nothing, you should see me on St. Patrick's Day."

Jess could only imagine. Hell, they dumped colour in the Chicago River to make it green, and he had a feeling Cammie could trump that with her hands tied behind her back. A picture popped up in his head of Cammie, all pimped out for St Patrick's Day, and she vaguely resembled the Hulk, minus the muscles and crappy temperament.

"So, to what do I owe the pleasure, except for the display of your superstrength hair?"

"Superstrength hair…" Cammie mused. "You think that's really a superpower? I blame my childhood, it was one boring cotillion after the other, and my mom wouldn't even let me dye my hair a shade darker or lighter than what I had."

"Which was?" Jess implored, knowing that changing the subject back would be impossible unless Cammie herself changed it back. He only hoped she wouldn't go off on a half hour rant about this.

"Oh, wouldn't you like to know…"

"Fine, I'll just ask Matt and Chris."

"You seriously think they wouldn't have told you that already? If I'm not mistaken, my hair was platinum blonde with steel blue highlights when I first met them, and that was a long time ago."

"And did blondes have more fun?"

"Oh yes…" Cammie replied vigourously, cocking an eyebrow suggestively. "You know, this would have been so much more fun if you were all here, but I'll have to make do with you, since Matt would probably kill me if I woke him up…"

"I could try to kick my multiple personalities into gear if you feel lonely," Jess rebutted with a smirk.

"Cool, is one of them an upstanding citizen with a regular 9 to 5 job, a family, dog and mortgage?"

"Not likely. I do a pretty decent Jam from _Detroit Rock City_, though."

"God, forget I said something…"

Cammie grimaced and handed him a plain white envelope, which he accepted warily. He slit it open carefully, pulling out an embossed card in bright pink:

_You are cordially invited to the grand opening of_

_STAMPEDE_

_on 23 September 2005, 6 pm_

_RSVP by 16 September 2005_

_Welcome_!

Jess turned over the card and saw the edgy Stampede logo, and under it the address and phone number to the coffee shop along with a slogan; "coffee, color, cool".

"'Cordially invited?" Jess paraphrased, not sure if this was something he should mock Cammie for or not.

"Again, I blame my cotillion years. It's in my genetic code, whatever…"

Definitely not something to mock. Lorelai had come from that world, and he remembered all too well the stories Rory had told him about her mother's chilly relationship with Emily and Richard, especially since Lorelai had missed her debutante ball because she got pregnant.

"Stampede, huh?" he instead noted and looked at Cammie. He couldn't help but smile at her, she looked just about ready to explode with pride.

"I know, it's random, you can sue my word-of-the-day-calendar. Stampede was word of the day when I was supposed to send in the order to the company that made the signboard, and I was not coming up with anything better. It sounds kinda catchy, though, doesn't it?"

"It does."

"So, are you coming? I mean, I'm here, you can RSVP right now and save a few cents on postage or telephone charges," Cammie gushed, looking both radiant and worried.

"I'll come, you know I will. With this being your business, I'm curious to see what it looks like."

"It's a Cammie-original, I can tell you that. By the way, you know what this means, right?"

"That it will be a total colorfest and that complimentary sunglasses will be handed out at the door?" Jess asked teasingly.

"Oh, ha-ha, bookboy…" Cammie deadpanned.

"Fine, what then?"

"You can have your job back!"

It actually stunned him. He would return to the land of the employed, with a real salary and steady work hours. Jess had gotten so used to working at the publishing house, even though he didn't like all aspects of it, not to mention the basically non-existent pay. He had fought for that business, made his four friends – friends! – fight for it too. That business was his business now.

"Look, I'm not going to ask you to work on opening night, if that's what you're worrying about," Cammie quickly added, noticing his lack of response. "I've already hired two girls to help me out at least that night and for two weeks ahead, but I'd really love to have you back, Jess. Jess?"

"You mananged to hire someone?" he asked, dodging the underlying question.

"Regulars, fresh out of school. They seemed okay, and had asked me before if the old place needed some extra hands. Since they didn't run away screaming when I showed them the place, laid down the rules and requirements, and seeing as one of them called me just yesterday to confirm she was actually hired, I'm pretty sure I'll let them stay on board. Now, how about you, can I count you in?"

_Count you in… You can count on me now… _

If he said no, he'd disappoint her. If he said yes he might lie. If he said nothing she would press him until he answered. Shit.

"You mind putting me on part time to begin with?" Jess asked after a moment's silence. "I'm supposed to turn in the final version of my manuscript, so I'm guessing Matt will be on me like a leech for some weeks, and you know… There will be a lot of work with printing and distributing and so on."

"Yeah, sure!" Cammie replied, not seeming fazed by his hesitant answer. "So you're almost done with your book?"

"Uh-huh. I've been editing the past ten days, and now I'm trying to write a dedication, because Matt ordered me to write one."

"Can I get a sneak peek?"

"Can be kinda hard, since at present I've got jack for a dedication."

"I'm sorry?" Cammie said incredulously. "You wrote an entire book, but you can't write a few words for a dedication?"

"It's complicated…" Jess tried, only to get interrupted.

"You can write, there's no doubt about that. You've successfully stringed together words, many of them very complex, to understandable sentences. I don't see the problem here."

"A dedication is a text where you thank people involved. Inspirations, helping hands and whatnot. Matt asked me to thank him, so I will leave him out on principle."

"So that rules out helping hands, which leaves inspirations. Shouldn't be too hard?"

Jess gave Cammie a significant look, and it took a little while for Cammie to get the point. She knew about Rory, she knew what Rory had meant to him and her involvement in his writing.

"You… don't wanna thank her? Or can't?"

"Both," Jess replied with a sigh. "I don't want to thank her because I can't. She is history, we… I made too many mistakes for there to any sort of hope for a cozy reunion. What I have written… is not something I would want to get thanked for. Plus, if I name her, the guys will know something's up, and I will not have that."

"Okay… But why do you need to make this a sappy thank you-list? Matt obviously knows what he and the guys did for you, and if she ever gets her hand on a copy, which I hope, I bet she is smart enough to read between the lines," Cammie told him encouragingly. "You know how Dan Brown's _Deception Point_ had an encrypted message that said 'The Da Vinci-code will surface' once deciphered? I'm not saying you need to go all cryptographer here, but if you want to send her a message, make it subtle. She will know, and the masses will go crazy trying to decipher the meaning behind it."

Jess eyed her for a couple of seconds. Her idea wasn't half bad, putting something in the dedication that only Rory would know or at least be able to guess about. The problem was to find that specific thing, since Stars Hollow's gossip mill probably had most of the good stuff already archived. Not that anyone in Stars Hollow would ever read his book, not if he had anything to say about it.

"You scare me," Jess joked, nudging Cammie.

"No need to call me brilliant, bookboy," she retorted with a sly smile. "I gotta go, I'm so pumped up that unless I get home and into my bathtub, I'm gonna go take a swan dive off the Ben Franklin Bridge. I'll see you… when I see you!"

She twirled out of the room, shutting the door with a bang. Jess was frozen in his place for what seemed like several minutes. When he finally snapped out of it, he rushed over to his computer, turned it on, impatiently tapping his fingers while the machine booted up. As soon as the desktop had loaded, he opened a new document, jotted down his dedication, saved and closed it. He reminded himself to thank Cammie.

Hours later, when Matt finally dragged himself out of bed, Jess was ready. After the inital grunt of good morning, and a more verbal response to Cammie's invitation, Matt jumped him about the manuscript. His overzealous publisher almost went through the roof when Jess told him he had edited the manuscript and written a dedication, all within the given timeline, and Matt immediately demanded to see it. Jess showed him the edited manuscript, which Matt browsed quickly, humming appreciatively.

"I will of course read this more thoroughly later," he said, as if Jess didn't know. "Okay, show me the dedication."

Jess smirked, opening the document with the dedication, showing it to Matt. He watched as Matt read the seven word dedication, confusion spreading over his face.

"Dude, I told you to tip your publisher. What the heck is this about a freaking swan?"

Jess gave Matt his patented semi-ignorant smirk.

"I'm Dan Brown-ing it."

* * *

**A/N**: Anyone care to guess what the dedication is? You know it's seven words long and that it involves a swan. Review and let me know!


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N**: Not one of you nailed the correct dedication, though you all gave some kick-ass suggestions. They were in fact so good I began to second guess myself, and had to consult Kass, who was a big help with getting my head straight. So, you can all do a drumroll with your fingers, and get reading to find out what the seven word dedication was!

**Disclaimer**: We do not own any of the Gilmore Girls-character. We just own Cammie. Who else could come up with her?

* * *

"You're Dan Brown-ing it? What the deuce is that even supposed to mean?" Matt ranted and got up from the couch. "Come on, what's up with this dedication, man? It makes no sense!"

"You didn't say anything about the dedication having to make sense, Jess pointed out calmly, closing the document on his laptop.

"I told you to tip your publisher. Last time I checked, I wasn't a swan."

"Hey, author's prerogative. I give you a book to publish, which means I can write whatever I want in it."

"You are the strangest man, Jess…" Matt sighed and shook his head.

Just then, the door opened, and Jake entered with a wide grin.

"Get fired?" Matt asked automatically.

It had become sort of a trademark greeting in the household. Everytime one of the guys showed up too early from work, the others would immediately ask if he had gotten fired.

"Yeah, in your dreams, Ronald McDonald," Jake replied teasingly. "Zone sent me on an errand and told me to take my lunchbreak afterwards. Forgot my wallet this morning, and money doesn't grow on trees yet, so… What's going on?"

"Dude's pulling a Dan Brown on us!" Matt exclaimed, making it sound like it was a disaster.

"Translate?" Jake turned to Jess.

"My dedication was not what Matt expected," Jess clarified, mildly amused.

"Yeah? You gave him something that wasn't a "Matt is awesome"-proclamation?"

"He gave me a swan, man!" Matt interrupted, his voice getting a desperate tone to it.

"A swan? Is that even appropriate?" Jake asked, looking from Matt to Jess and back.

"No!" Matt grunted. "He didn't give me a swan as in he gave me a real live bird, which would not only have been wildly inappropriate, but also unsanitary. He gave me a dedication about a swan!"

"Could've been a cockroach," Jake reasoned with a shrug, and walked past them into his and Reg's room to get his wallet.

"Couldn't you please give me something that is understandable?" Matt pleaded, sitting down once again beside Jess.

"It's a full sentence, starts with a capital letter, ends with a full stop, and it follows the grammatical rules of the English language. I'd say it's very understandable," Jess countered, trying hard not to laugh at Matt's overreaction.

"It's random!" his publisher persisted, while Jake came out of the bedroom.

"I want to see that dedication when I get home. Later, dudes."

"It's not random," Jess said when Jake was out the door.

"You write a book, a good book, possibly the next big rite-of-passage, coming-of-age novel, and then you go stick a swan in the dedication. How is that not random?"

"Because it isn't."

Matt sighed, letting his head fall onto the coffeetable with a loud thud.

"You're not gonna tell me what's up with the swan, are you?" he asked ten seconds later, head still plastered to the table.

"Nope," Jess affirmed.

"And you're not gonna change the dedication, am I right?"

"You are."

"So the dedication to your book will forever read 'For the record, it was a swan'?"

"Yup," Jess replied off-handedly and got up from the couch and headed for the kitchen, leaving Matt pounding his head to the table.

"You know, forever is a long time, Jess!" Matt yelled after him between the thuds of his head hitting the table.

"Matt, I am fully aware of the meaning of forever, I'm 20, not 5. But see, contrary to you, I don't give a rat's ass about the dedication. You asked for one, I didn't want to write one. You backed me into a corner and told me to write one, so I wrote one for the sake of this business. Accept the damn dedication and print the damn novel, or I will start hogging it again."

"I swear to God, man, you're killing me," Matt replied sourly, and stopped banging his head to the table.

"Glad to be of service," Jess retorted sarcastically, opening one of the cupboards to find some bread to make a sandwich.

"We print you next week."

Jess flinched, and accidentally banged his head on the cupboard door. Somehow, Matt had managed to get from the livingroom to the kitchen without making a sound.

"Jeez, you really needed to do that?" he groaned, rubbing his forehead.

"Hey, I've been banging my head to a table, now we're square," Matt deadpanned. "As I said, we print you next week. Have a sitdown tonight with Chris and discuss the layout."

Jess and Chris were handling tonight's printing; a shortstory collection that the gang felt pretty confident they could get a few bookshops to stock.

"Yes, dear…"

"I'm serious, Jess," Matt persisted, sounding annoyed. "Your novel will go to print next week. You can pick the day, but it will be next week, okay?"

"It got it, Matt! Take a chill pill and relax, I'll have the manuscript and layout ready in time for the big day."

"Ah, and he sounds so sincere… Trust me, buddy, you won't be able to slither out of this one."

Matt glanced at his watch, and excused himself from the kitchen. Jess could hear him rummaging around the apartment to find his work clothes, before he zoomed out with a quick "Later!".

He shook his head at Matt's obstinate behavior. As if this wasn't a big deal for him, too? It was his novel, _his_ novel that would get published. Had he ever been so sappy as to make one of those "20/50/100 things to do before I kick the bucket"-lists, writing a novel wouldn't even have been on it, and here he was, about the be a published author. He finished his turkey-mustard sandwich and walked out into the hallway to check next week's printing schedule.

In addition to keeping the current schedule at the publishing place, the guys kept a more detailed list at the apartment. This list held up-coming printings, who would be in charge, plus a rotating schedule of distributing the printed work to various bookshops nearby. Reg had already worked out a pretty sweet deal with the campus bookstore, where he could bring ten copies of three chosen works and sell them to whatever price the guys wanted. So far, this deal was by far their most lucrative, since it was much harder to get any of the bigger stores to stock up on the books and anthologies they printed. A few smaller bookstores in the Cedar Park area stocked up occasionally when they found something interesting, but the guys were still waiting for their big break, and Jess had a feeling that his four flatmates had high hopes for his book.

He sighed, and penciled in his name for Thursday next week. When Jake and Reg began making the schedule, they had agreed that they would print Zine on Tuesdays, and literature and poetry on Mondays and Thursdays, sometimes Sundays if they had many manuscripts to print. The new structure had turned out to be a stroke of genius. The guys knew when they would get a new manuscript, and since they had the schedule, they could give a pretty accurate time for when the prospective authors and poets could see the ultimate fruit of their labour. It was a win-win situation, if there ever was one. Still, Jess felt that there was something missing, or unfinished. He hoped that outsourcing the printing would put the jittery feelings to rest. Matt and Chris had gone around town to check out rates at different printing firms, trying to strike deals, and they would give a verdict tomorrow evening.

Jess spent his remaining lonely hours looking through his manuscript, not to change it, but to comprehend the fact that he had written it. When Chris came home, four hours after Matt had left, he was right in the middle of a call to Jimmy. He had called to talk to Lily, but she was out, and Jimmy had no idea where she was or when she'd be back. Sasha had gone out of town to an uncle's funeral, so Jimmy was left to fend for the dogs, which turned out to be a challenge, since the dogs seemed to go crazy with Sasha gone.

"I gotta go, Jimmy," Jess said, when he saw Chris enter.

"Okay, I gotta go yell at the dogs, I swear, I'm gonna kick some of them soon," Jimmy gruffed, and Jess could hear a loud bark in the background.

"Tell Lily I called, okay?"

"Ten-four… No, Gandalf, you stupid mutt! Not my freaking mint condition Ray Charles!"

"Bye Jimmy…" Jess said with a smirk. Jimmy was obsessed with his mint condition LP's

"Yeah."

Jimmy hung up on him, no doubt to go hunt down Gandalf. Not that Jess was the least bit surprised. Gandalf was one crazy-ass dog.

"Hey, dude," Chris greeted him from the door. "Who were you talking to?"

"No one… Someone," Jess replied evasively.

He had persisted on not letting any of the guys know who his family was, or that he was talking to them.

"Okay…" Chris noted, entering livingroom. "You ready for printing?"

"Yeah," he replied, thankful for an opportunity to change the subject. "Matt wants us to go over the layout for my book, it's going to the prints next week."

"Really? You're done editing and Matt's happy with it?"

"Well…" Jess said, packing his laptop in a messenger bag and headed for the door. "He's not a fan of the dedication, but I made it clear that either he takes the manuscript as it is, or not at all."

"Cool!" Chris laughed, and they both exited the apartment. "So, what do you have in mind?"

They nagged about the book all the way to the printers. When they got there they had only managed to agree on the color and font (Jess wanted simple, Chris wanted edge, needless to say, Jess won that debate). When they had set up and started the printers, they continued, this time with the title. They both agreed on that one, and swiftly continued with the text for the back cover. There, they had to compromise. Chris wanted to put a picture of Jess, which Jess refused, and they squabbled for fifteen minutes before they settled for an abbreviated passage from the script, and another twenty minutes went by before they had found the best passage to tweak:

_It was never about the journey, not even the destination.  
__It was all about what happened after.  
__You. Me. Everything. It was all about us._

_Subsect. And you have no idea._

It was as if the last, cheesy piece of the puzzle had fallen into place, because now there wasn't only the manuscript. There was a layout, a plan, a time and place and a certainty. There would be a book by Jess Mariano. He had made something. He, the high school drop-out with failure in his genetic code. He could only deduce that Philly had worked som weird mojo-magic on him, and perhaps there was a reason he couldn't go farther north than Pittsburgh.

_"Seams ripped open in somewhere in Kentucky…"_

It's funny how things can change.

He was ripped out of his manuscript-induced self-discovery when the printers gave a loud screeching sound, indicating the manuscript had been printed. Chris went over to collect the original manuscript, while Jess stacked the finished product and put it in box, marking it with the author's name and the title of the shortstory collection. For lack of a better filing system, they had resorted to packing copies and the original manuscript in boxes and then lock them into the back room. Since they didn't print too many copies at once, it worked.

They locked up and headed back to the apartment. Jess told Chris about Cammie's invitation, which made Chris crack the biggest smile of the day.

"Wow, she's really going through with it?" he commented excitedly. "It's going to be awesome!"

"Yeah… She told me I could have my job back," Jess replied sombrely.

"Dude, that's great!"

"Mm-hmm…"

"Isn't it great?" Chris asked, when Jess's response wasn't as expected.

"It's fine, I guess. I mean, I'll get paid and I'll have something to do, but it's this book…" Jess mused, nodding towards the messenger bag, where his laptop lay stashed.

"What about it?"

"I wrote it. I wrote a book, from start to finish, and it's hard to go back to the same thing I did before and just leave it."

_Not that I haven't done that before_… he thought to himself.

"Okay, I have no idea what you're getting at, man," Chris told him. "You wrote a book, that's great. You finished the book, even greater from a publisher's point of view. You got your old job back, awesome for your bank account. I don't see the problem. The worst is over, Jess. We'll all take it from here, you can basically just lay back and smell the roses."

"What if it's a failure?" Jess asked, looking directly at Chris.

"When did you ever start worrying about success? Not one of our writers and poets come to us to get fame. They come because here they at least get published instead of refused, which is absolutely insane, since many of them are great. I never pegged you for the kind of guy who wanted fame, so I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that the person you're most afraid to fail is yourself."

_Among others…_

"Matt is right," Jess instead told him. "You need to lay off the philosophy-stuff."

"Hey, that 'stuff' scores me chicks, man. You should've seen the girl I wowed with my deep thoughts yesterday at Wal-Mart."

"Really? When did any of you go out on a date last?"

"That's rich coming from the ninth dateless wonder of the world…" Chris retorted quickly.

"Ninth?" Jess asked.

"Oh, sorry, eigth, Reg is dating, I forgot."

"You really sure he's dating? We haven't seen the girl yet," Jess commented with a smirk.

Reg had been out on three dates since the meeting when he rushed out as soon as he wasn't needed anymore. Still, he refused to tell the guys the name of the girl, and he even more refused to introduce her to them.

"Would you take home a girl to that madhouse?" Chris replied with a sly smile.

"Point taken. But I repeat, eight dateless wonder?"

"Chris, Jake, myself, George Clooney, Ricky Martin, Jamie Foxx, Carson Daly, and now you."

"I wouldn't call George Clooney dateless."

"Whatever. He's not married, which qualifies him as a dateless wonder in our world," Chris said. "Now, drop the melancholy act, and let's head over to Cammie's. She probably won't give us a grand tour of the new place, but I bet we can squeeze a coffee out of her if we nag enough. You game?"

Jess sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Fine. But don't blame me when she goes crazy on your ass for wanting a coffee at this time of day," he smirked.

* * *

**A/N**: Review, review, review! Pretty please, with Jess and Subsect on top?


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N**: Sorry sorry sorry for taking so long to update, shame on me, really! I wrote a draft to this chapter while I was still in Vasa, and I could've sworn I packed it before I left, but apparantly not, and now I can't get into my apartment until August. So, I had to rewrite this chapter as best I could using my memory, which can be painfully selective. I'm not completely satisified about this, and as soon as I get hold of the draft, I'll make whatever changes needed to make myself like this chapter as much as I liked the draft.

**Disclaimer**: ASP owns the Gilmore Girls characters. We don't own the rights to "Born to Run" either, because that would mean that we'd be Bruce Springsteen. Which we're not (promise!). But we own Cammie, that's something at least!

* * *

_Wendy let me in, I wanna be your friend, I wanna guard your dreams and visions…_

It was midnight, and he was back to listening to Springsteen. Though Jess knew all too well just how cliché it was to listen to Springsteen and go all deep and touchy-feely, he couldn't help it. Tomorrow, his novel would go to print, and listening to Springsteen, the music that in some ways had been the very beginning of it all, seemed inevitable. And right now, not tying the lyrics to Rory was inevitable too. It was perfect. If only she had come with him that night, who knows what could have been. He would have been (still was?) the American reject hero in jeans and t-shirt, and she was Wendy, the dream, the girl, his second half. Once again he tormented himself with thinking why they couldn't just work out like that nameless protagonist and his Wendy. He wanted to be her friend, he knew what she wanted, what she dreamed of, what she was…

And it had all gone to hell. The reasons were as obvious as they were painful, and he knew all too well why he should not think too much about Rory. She was his achilles heel, his soft spot, and what had he done? Written a book just to get over her? Yeah, right, there was a recipe for utter failure if there ever was one.

Jess twisted and turned on his couch, trying to find sleep, but not succeeding. It was as if he could hear the alarm clock in Matt and Chris's room tick. One more second wasted. It had all been a waste of time and effort, and of course he had to be the one to throw it all away. Not that Rory had been completely without blame. She clearly wanted him, but why did she keep trying to turn him into Dean and adapt him to Stars-freaking-Hollow? She left Dean because that giant had been an overbearing jackass.

Wow. "Sounds like somebody you know?" Jess thought to himself.

He turned once again, trying to find a comfortable position on the knurly couch, and told himself that he was just flipping out because of the printing tomorrow. His novel, his own words would go to print and, holy crap, people might actually read it. The incoherent scrawls on a $1.50 legal pad, born out of restlessness, California sun, Lily and blue had turned into something tangible, or at least they would turn into something he could actually touch. The concept of him being a published author never ceased to amaze him. And it scared the living shit out of him.

"Jess?"

Too busy trying to control his rushing thoughts, Jess hadn't heard the door to Jake and Regg's room open, and Reg's whisper carried amazingly clear over the silent room.

"You awake?" Reg whispered.

Jess pondered trying to fake sleep. His current mindset was in no way suitable for a late night talk with Reg of all people. Maybe he was being paranoid, but Jake and Reg seemed to be acting kind of weird when they were around him, especially since they had decided on outsourcing the printing. Matt and Chris had laid down the facts, and told the others about a smaller printing firm just a couple of blocks away that would print their stuff without skinning them in the process. Though not entirely happy about it, Jake and Reg both agreed that this would be the best option to go with if they wanted to keep the business going. So it was decided that they would switch to the new printing firm after Jess's book was printed. Jess had no idea why they were soo persistent with having his book be the last to go to print at HQ. It wasn't like the godawful printers there held some sort of sentimental value to him. For that very reason, he didn't contest the matter either. How would it matter anyway? So long as his novel got printed he was happy, and he tried to push away the paranoid thoughts about Jake and Reg trying to nail him for something. Seeing as Jake had been after his kneecaps since day one, and Reg had that mysterious lady friend, so he wasn't "all there" most of the time, Jess figured he couldn't be in any immediate danger.

He sighed and sat up straight on the couch turning to face Reg, who was standing just outside the door to his and Jake's room.

"Does seem that way," he replied, trying to at least sound a bit tired, though he was wide awake.

"Trouble sleeping?" Reg asked, moving a bit closer.

"Something like that…"

"Nervous about the printing?"

"Something like that…" Jess repeated, running his hand through his messy hair.

"You wrote a great book, Jess, there's nothing to get nervous about," Reg told him encouragingly, though Jess imagined Reg was holding back an "is there?"

"Mm-hmm…" he muttered off-handedly, and turned to lie down again.

"Jess?"

He stiffened, almost losing balance when lying down, and he whipped up again.

"Yes?" he replied, a bit annoyed.

"Why don't we know anything about you?" Reg asked, sounding a bit worried.

Great. Jess had hoped that he'd heard that question for the last time. Matt and Chris had tried to milk him for information for the longest time, but finally they had just stopped, and he was glad. He didn't feel like sharing, because sharing was not something he did, and when he did, it almost always ended with him saying too much. _Talk is cheap_.

"Because it's private. I'm a private person. It's called a private life, you know?"

There was a beat of silence.

"Are you a criminal, Jess?" Reg then asked, and Jess could tell Reg was afraid of what the answer might be.

"No," he said after waiting a sufficiently long time to make Reg sweat.

_Yes_, a voice in his head said simultaneously. Pickpocketing (back in New York), stealing (Babbette's gnome), lying (to most people), and he was pretty sure that creating a false crime scene was frowned upon by cops who actually had crimes to solve.

"Look," Jess continued. "Nothing good would come out of me telling you my life story while we'd braid each others' hair and listen to the _Titanic_-soundtrack. Trust me."

"Firm believer in 'ignorance is bliss', I see," Reg commented amusedly.

"They're planning on making me their posterboy," Jess quipped back. "Matt and Chris have already dropped the subject on who I am, where I come from. Matt says it will generate good PR for me to be all mysterious and whatnot. Personally, I think it's the biggest load of bull I've ever heard. I just want to be me without having to get all touchy-feely, okay?"

"Fine." Reg threw up his hands in surrender, and walked into the kitchen.

Jess lied down, and could hear Reg pour himself a glass of water, and then tiptoe back into his room. Close call, and he could only hope Reg would heed his advice and just leave him be. If Reg could get Jake off his case, it would only be a perk. Jess returned to twisting and turning on the couch, and finally fell asleep out of sheer exhaustion. His head was full of memories, Rory-related memories, and intertwined with these were suspicion. Reg wanted to know more about him. He wanted to trap him. Jess had tried to conjure up Rory's eyes to find some sort of calm, and it was somewhere along these attempts that he drifted into sleep, Springsteen still playing in his ears.

…_baby, I'm just a a scared and lonely rider…

* * *

_

"Rise and shine, cupcake!"

The overly cheery voice could not have come from anyone else but Matt, and Jess found the tone repugnant. He turned over on the couch, burying his head under the pillow, throwing an arm out on the odd chance that it would hit Matt.

"Call me cupcake on more time, and I will make sure you end up as one," he growled from under the pillow, trying his best to ignore the equally cheery presence that Matt seemed to ooze.

"Come on, Jess, it's time to check out from Dreamland," Matt persisted, and Jess wanted to kill the feisty publisher even more.

"Bite me."

It didn't take. With one swift movement, Matt got hold of Jess's cover, and pulled it off of him, and for a moment, the stunt reminded Jess of reality. Harsh, unfair, cold and always ready to bite you in the ass when you least expect it to.

"Matt," Jess said through clenched teeth, head still under the pillow. "If you don't go bug someone else right now I will seriously turn you into a cupcake."

"There is no one else to bug! Everyone else is at work," Matt complained whinily. He was near now, probably somewhere by the coffeetable.

"Go bug Cammie."

"Cammie? You seriously want me to go bug Cammie? Jess, the girl held a vendetta against me and Chris after I smashed her $3 Target coffee mug. And after last week when you and Chris went over to beg for coffee? Believe it or not, I learn from experience."

As Jess had suspected, Cammie did not react well to Chris (and yes, it was mostly Chris) begging for coffee that late. She all but made fire and brimstone rain down upon them. Jess had to pull Chris away from the door so Cammie wouldn't inflict bodily harm, and they walked over to a coffeestand near Black Oak Park for a cup of something that the vendor at least called coffee.

Jess muttered something into the pillow about having lots of evidence pointing to the opposite of what Matt had stated, but if Matt understood his rumbles, he ignored them.

"So, are you ready?"

"For what? Kicking your ass?"

"No, printing your novel!"

"Matt…" Jess heaved himself up into sitting positing, blinking a couple of times before focusing in on Matt, who was sitting on the edge of the coffee table. "It's morning. I'm tired, and by no means a morning person. In what universe ever visited by any Federation officer is it a good idea to wake me up, call me a cupcake and ask if I'm ready to print a book that's scheduled for an afternoon printing?"

Matt was quiet for a moment, before answering:

"I guess this would qualify as one of those 'it seemed like a good idea at the time'-moments, huh?" he then solemnly mused, scratching his chin.

"That would be an understatement. Now give me my cover back, bugger off and don't ever take it upon yourself to wake me ever again."

Matt threw back the cover and shuffled off into his and Chris's room. Jess slumped down, pulled the cover over and plugged in his earbuds. His Springsteen-playlist was over, and Metallica blared out of the earbuds, lulling him into sleep.

He dreamed of Stars Hollow. How it might have been if he hadn't royally screwed it up. If he had let Rory change him. It was a sugarcoated, obnoxious picture that should have activated his upchuck-reflex, but part of him… liked it. No skulking, getting suspicious glances from people (meaning Taylor). No more unnecessary fights and misunderstandings (meaning Rory). No more secrets (meaning... everybody). It would have been a Jess that could've gotten accepted and lived out his troublesome years in a quirky town with a girl that loved him, an uncle who took him in when his mother couldn't handle him and a town that was as zany as there could be. And he would've been okay.

He awoke at two, feeling like there was a hole in his stomach. He should've hated dreaming about that medical experiment. He should've locked the dream away in the same box he kept Rory in. He should've hated himself for not doing it.

He couldn't.

Jess called out for Matt, but apparantly, Matt had left the building. Without thinking, Jess picked up his cell, punched 3 on speed dial, and waited.

"Yeah, Luke's," came his uncle's brisk voice.

He panicked. He wanted to hang up. He probably should hang up.

"Luke," he instead said, trying to keep his emotions in check.

"Yeah, who is this?"

Jess swallowed hard.

"It's Jess."

Silence. Jess figured he must've stunned Luke pretty good by calling.

"Ceasar!" Luke then yelled. "Take over, would ya?"

Jess smirked. He'd heard that line enough time to know Ceasar would spaz out.

"Call me again in one minute," Luke then told him, and unceremoniously hung up on him.

He knew why. Luke would sprint up the stairs and guard the phone upstairs like a hawk. He didn't even have to tell Jess to call the home number, he still knew it. He lazily counted the seconds it would take for Luke to get upstairs, then added some extra, just to mess with him. He found Luke's home number and pressed Call.

"What took you so long?" Luke answered after the first tone. Same old Luke. No greeting, no smalltalk.

"You said one minute," Jess replied with a smirk.

"Don't get cute, Jess, where are you? Are you in trouble?"

"Would it surprise you immensly if I said I wasn't in trouble?" he sighed.

"Frankly, it would. And don't get evasive with me, where are you and why are you calling?"

"I'm in Philly and…"

"In Philly?" Luke immediately interrupted. "I thought you were in California with Jimmy?"

"I was there," Jess replied, and walked over to the kitchen where he sat down on a chair. "I left a couple of months ago."

"Jimmy kick you out?"

"I left on my own accord. I even said goodbye, just so you know."

"Why did you go to Philly?" Luke asked, curiosity in his voice.

"It was there," Jess rebutted. "Could we skip the inquisition now?"

"I'm not the one calling out of the blue here, Jess."

"I know, but you're seriously channeling your inner Spanish inquisitor. Could we just… talk?"

"Fine," Luke gruffed at the other end. "So, you're in Philadelphia?"

"I am. I'm living with a couple of guys here, it's pretty good. I've been working at a coffee shop, but I'm on temporary leave or something, 'cause the owner's been remodeling the place."

Jess couldn't help but smile at the similarities between the two of them. He knew Luke had been a pretty good athlete in his days, and he could probably have gone on to college with a scholarship. For some reason or another, Luke got stuck in Stars Hollow with the diner, much like Jess had gotten entangled in Philly and Cammie's coffee shop.

"That's… good, I guess. How was California?"

"Hot. Lots of hippies… and dogs. Jimmy was okay. He's got a girlfriend and a daughter."

"He spawned again?" Luke asked, surprised.

"Her name is Lily, the kid I mean. Really smart. She likes to hide in cupboards to read. Jimmy's living with her mother, Sasha. She keeps him in check, I guess."

Luke hummed at that revelation.

"I'm getting married," he then suddenly blurted out.

"What?" Jess exclaimed. His uncle, getting married? Who..?

"Lorelai," he then added, realizing just who could be adventurous enough to marry Luke.

"Yeah. She proposed."

"She proposed? What, she bent down on one knee and asked for your hand?"

"No, Jess, she asked me, in an upright position, if I wanted to marry her, and I said yes."

"Okay. Congratulations, when's the wedding?"

Jess could almost hear Luke squirming back in Stars Hollow. Something was wrong with this picture.

"Lorelai won't set a date yet," his uncle finally replied with some difficulty.

"Why?"

"It's nothing…"

"Please, like any woman wouldn't be obsessed with setting a date, what's wrong?"

"Lorelai and Rory had a sort of falling out, and Rory's now living with her grandparents."

"What? She did what?"

"It happened a couple of weeks ago, they had a big fight, and Rory moved in with Emily and Richard after that, and Lorelai won't set a date before she and Rory have made up."

"She's living with them? Like, actually living with them?"

"That's what I've heard," Luke confirmed. "I don't know if either one of them is happy, but I'm hoping this is gonna blow over soon, 'cause Lorelai is definitely not happy."

Jess was stunned, almost beyond stunned. Rory was living with Emily and Richard? What the hell had happened? As far as he could remember, she respected her grandparents, but enough to go live with them? And the fight with Lorelai? Sure, they had fought a bit when he was around (and the fights usually involved him in some way or another), but he'd never thought they could fight this hard. What had happened after he left?

"Jess…" Luke began, but both he and Jess got interrupted when the door to the Philly-apartment swung open.

"Good, you're awake!" Matt exclaimed, as he kicked off his shoes, and dumped his messenger bag by the door.

"Who's that?" Luke asked, hearing Matt in the background.

"Someone," Jess replied, his head spinning with ideas to end this without neither Luke nor Matt getting to know too much.

"Who are you talking to?" Matt wondered as soon as he saw Jess was on the phone.

"Someone," Jess repeated, feeling panic rise in his chest. "Look, I gotta go, I've got… stuff to handle," he told Luke.

"Jess…" Luke began, but he got interrupted again.

"Bye."

Jess hung up quickly, and tossed away the phone.

"Who was that?" Matt asked again, and walked up to him.

"None of your business. Where have you been?"

"Out…"

"Matt, stop screwing around, where have you been?"

"Fine, just don't freak out," Matt relented, and walked back to the door and began rummaging around in the messengerbag. "I called in the cavalry…"

"What did you do? Anything that begins with 'I called in the cavalry' cannot end good," Jess said pointedly, looking grumpily at Matt.

"Fine. I called the guys and told them to meet me at HQ when they had their lunchbreaks. This turned out pretty good, since Chris has his lunchbreak at noon, while Reg has his half past twelve and Jake can pretty much take a break when he wants to…"

"Get to the point, Matt!"

"They came over, and…" Matt pulled something out of the bag, and returned to Jess, handing him something.

That something turned out to be a book, after a quick glance.

"You brought me a book?"

Then he figured it couldn't be just any book, they knew he was well-read, and this had to be something special. He looked down at the book again, and it felt like someone had socked him on the nose.

It was his book. The black cover and the white font, the title with his name under it was screaming at him. He had to check the cover, the back cover, the inside to make sure this was really his book, his words. They had printed him.

"Surprise..?" Matt said, clearly unsure about how Jess was taking this.

It was a surprise, all right. He was… He couldn't even decide what he was. Pissed off because Matt couldn't wait another few hours, and had to rope in the others just to get this done. He was awestruck at how amazingly good it felt to have _The Subsect_ in his hands. It was proof, it was there, it was real. He knew exactly how it began, how it twisted and turned, how it ended.

"We only printed five copies to begin with," Matt continued, when Jess didn't answer. "We'll print more later today so you can be part of that too, but I… well, we wanted to give you this. The first book is always the most memorable, both for us and the author, and since you live with us, we wanted to surprise you, or, well, thank you, because you've really helped us with the business, Jess. Jess?"

Jess still didn't reply. He felt as if all air was being sucked out of the room and absorbed into the book. Without saying a word, he walked out of the apartment, leaving Matt yelling for him.

* * *

**A/N**: Dramatic end, I know, but that's life. I felt that this was a good moment for Jess to call Luke (since Jess clearly indicates he's been talking to Luke prior to "Let Me Hear Your Balalaikas Ringing Out") and get to know what's going on at home. The Gilmore-verse timeline is sort of confusing (since the episode where Lorelai proposed was aired in May, and the following episode where Luke agrees to marry her was aired in September, and they probably didn't stand in the gazebo for three months), but I'm trying my best to work around the quirky jumps.

Remember to review!


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N**: Thank you all who reviewed chapter 21 and welcome to chapter 22! I finished it Friday, but hogged it until today so it would be extra special. One year ago, on this date, 4th July, me and Kass posted the first chapter of this story. I think I speak for the both of us when I say it's been one heck of a year with the guys in Philly and with you guys, and hopefully, Jess and the gang will continue to inspire and push this story forward. Enjoy this anniversary chapter!

**Disclaimer**: We still don't own Gilmore Girls. Only Cammie and that's gotta be pretty obvious by now.

* * *

Jess returned hours later, well aware of the pandemonium of questions that would meet him as soon as he walked through the door. The guys had been calling him off the hook for the past hour, and no surprise, they all ambushed him with questions as soon as he'd closed the door behind him. In a flurry of where's, what's and various threats, Jess simply walked in, sat down on a chair in the kitchen and pulled out his novel, which now looked significantly more worn and torn than it had a few hours ago. For once he didn't feel like saying anything, disclosing anything. Most often, the guys could make him tell them where he'd been and what he'd been up to, but this was a trip he'd rather keep to himself. They didn't need to know. They might even think he was joking with them.

He'd taken a bus downtown, ran up the steps to the Philadelphia Museum of Art with about ten other deranged yahoos and jumped around at the top of the stair until he felt like he was about to puke. Then he'd walked down halfway, sat down and read the book he'd written, like it was any other book, not something that began on cheap paper in a smelly Greyhound bus. He didn't particularly like what he read. He thought it still lacked coherency, the language was at times very poetic, and other times very informal, almost too informal, and it irked him. The fact that it was a first edition of his own book kept him from scribbling in the margins.

"Where the hell were you, man?" Matt asked for the umptieth time.

"Where do you think I was?" Jess replied passive-aggressively.

"The local bar? The library? The moon? How would we know, you're not exactly the king of sharing," Jake commented abrasively

"Yeah, and you're not exactly the master of humility and composure."

It was a prime opportunity for a Jess-Jake showdown, but Reg managed to pull Jake away, while Matt and Chris kept Jess in the kitchen

"Is it the book?" Chris asked as him and Matt sat down next to Jess at the table.

Jess kept quiet, staring determinedly down.

"And we have a winner," Matt noted triumphantly, taking Jess's silence as an affirmative.

"I thought, well, we thought you would like seeing your book in print. Aren't you, you know, proud and stuff?" Chris wondered, looking at Jess.

"I guess I am," Jess finally relented after minutes of silence. "I guess it's just abit… overwhelming or something. It's not like I've published a book before."

He was treading into unknown territory with this statement, and he briefly considered if this would be a good time to tell the guys that he was a failure. If he ever gained any of the fame his friends were hoping for, it would be hard to continuously dodge questions about his past, about the freuquent mentioning of blue in his novel. Jess couldn't be sure, but something told him that there probably was some nationwide public record of high school graduates (not that he ever thought someone would actually search for his name and presumed year of graduation), but one thing was sure. If there was such a record, he wouldn't be in it.

"You're really odd, you know that?" Matt pointed out. "We've published a whole bunch of people, no one has pulled a disappearing act on us right after getting the first copy of their work. Not that any of their stuff was as edgy or brilliant as yours, off the record."

"Would you quit with the high hopes already? It's wigging me out," Jess told Matt gruffly.

"What? You don't think you're any good?" Reg asked, peeking into the kitchen with Jake sulking behind him.

"I don't want you to have high hopes because of the circulation we have on our books and Zine. It's not like we have a deal with any of the big book stores."

"The best stuff can be found in the underground circles, brilliant stuff. Much better than the mainstream crap they call bestsellers these days," Matt told Jess encouragingly.

"I don't want to become a movement or anything…" Jess began, but was interrupted by Chris.

"Ah, yes, the Jess Mariano-movement. Notorious for its brilliancy and occasional lack of any social skills accepted on this planet."

Chris smirked, and Jess gave him a pointed glare before continuing his rant:

"I don't want a bunch of morons to huddle up in a cave somewhere to read my stuff in the dead of night."

"Wow, someone's really hating on DPS…" Jake quipped, probably the only person in Philly who could basically quote the entire movie.

"No shit. I would've been the guy who didn't stand up."

"I'm not surprised, dude."

"I swear to god," Jess muttered discontentedly. "If anyone begins pulling some 'Oh captain, my captain'-crap on me, I will personally hunt down every single copy of the book and make the owners drink bleach to forget they ever read anything written by me."

"Whoa there, cowboy, save some of the cheery stuff for your pr-tour," Jake rebutted quickly.

"Relax, Jess," Chris said with a sly grin. "No offense to Philly, but by the time they want to 'Oh captain, my captain' you, you've probably already written another book that will make them look like gaping goldfish."

Jess looked around the small kitchen. Despite the fact that they were already expecting him to pull another book from his sleeve, this was good. Or it would be. Philly had been good to him, and from now on he firmly believed in first impressions. New York had been a mess of impressions; good, bad, contradicting, everything. Stars Hollow was ambivalent, a medical experiment with the most fascinating person right at its core, he'd been torn there. Cali had been a place to breathe, to reassess, to discover the part of him that was Mariano. Philly, on the other hand, was a(nother) new beginning, but in a different way than the other beginnings had been. Philly had turned out to be the proverbial middle road, and it had given him everything he needed. Almost everything, that is. The thought of losing Rory without the possibility to get her back still stung his heart.

"Don't expect that second novel too soon," he told Chris warningly, but looked sternly at Matt, who would be the one on his ass about book number two.

"Okay then," Matt said after a beat of silence. "Let's go print a buttload of copies of a novel that will not become DPS revisited!"

They all laughed, even Jess gave them a wide smirk. They set off to HQ, with Reg and Jake teasing Jess by quoting DPS, and Matt and Chris acting as either Jess's or Jake and Reg's bodyguards. People who passed them in the street probably thought they were drunk, high, insane, or quite possibly all three, but the guys didn't care.

Printing his own novel was the surrealest thing Jess had ever experienced, it was even more strange than trying to read _The Subsect_ objectively. To see the pages turn into the book, coherency formin in front of his eyes, then get wrapped by the cover to become and undeniable unity; it was like an aha-moment.

"Is it all you thought it would be?" Chris asked as he and Jake piled the books neatly into boxes, while Jess, Matt and Reg managed the printers (which for once didn't necessiate threatening of warning the unreliable machines).

"It's more," Jess replied sombrely. "You're aware that this would not have happened unless you'd have ignored my advice in April about backing off when I started threatening you, right?"

"Yeah, and our little initiative here would probably be in the toilet by now," Jake pointed out. "As much as I hate to admit it, you really got our shit together, man."

"High praise, considering it had 'shit' in it," Reg noted amusedly.

"Oh, come on, it's way better than you reviewing your girlfriend, Reg."

"Yeah," Matt chipped in. "What's her name again?"

"Taylor," Reg said frustratedly. "Her name is Taylor. Notice my use of the objective pronoun 'her'."

The guys had begun teasing Reg about how suspicious it was that he never brought home his girlfriend. The gender-neutral name didn't help Reg with dismissing the claims. For now, he simply flipped them off with a wide grin on his face.

Half way through, they took a break, during which Chris disappeared to get them something to drink. Personally, Jess could've killed for a cold beer, but with Jake and Reg present, one beer would always lead to two beers, which would lead to three and so on. The rootbeer Chris returned with made do just as well, and the others didn't seem to think otherwise either. They sat down on the floor beside the printers, tired from the labor.

"To _The Subsect_," Matt proclaimed, raising his can of rootbeer.

"To Jess," Chris continued, nodding at Jess with a smile.

"To getting laid," Reg said conspiratorially, and an awkward silence overpowered the chatter in the room.

Everyone stared at him. With the constant mocking of Reg and his alleged girlfriend, no one really knew how to respond to Reg's comment.

"To… our jobs," Jake smirked after a long, cramped silence. "The best and worst there ever was."

He touched his can to Matt's, Chris's and Reg's cans. They all turned to look at Jess, who sat there sipping on his rootbeer. Even though he felt ready to gag at this cliché, the brotherly bonding, he didn't.

"To staring fresh. To getting the job done. To never do this again, at least not for a good while." Jess then looked sideways at Jake. "To still having both my kneecaps."

Laughter broke out in the room, with Matt loudly calling "Hear, hear!" and cans clanking dully together. Jake high-fived Jess for the kneecap-comment, and Jess felt and odd but at the same time pleasant feeling in his stomach. He could only assume that this was what being a normal, functioning human being felt like. A sense of belonging, some form of comeraderie, and rootbeer.

And he liked it.

"So," he then said. "Do I even wanna know how much you're gonna ask people to pay for this?" He nodded towards the boxes, marked 'Mariano', containing his books.

"Let's see, we printed 200 copies…" Matt began, counting silently in his head.

"And I've already spread the word on campus that I've got something major coming the bookstore, and reserved 20 copies by that alone," Reg chipped in happily.

"Twenty copies? You got 20 yahoos waiting to buy my book?"

"Yeah, man, and I'll bring 19 just to create the illusion of exclusivity."

"Which, I assume, will work great when they walk into any of the other bookstores that stock our stuff," Jess pointed out sardonically.

"Please, if it's not named Barnes & Noble, these kids have no idea what the stores that stock our stuff are," Reg huffed jokingly. "Even the indie-kids there have no idea what I'm talking about when I ask them if they know some of the places that we deliver to."

"Ten bucks," Matt then said, effectively ending the conversation.

"Ten bucks?" Jake asked dubiously and looked at the boxes. "For that? No offense, Jess."

"None taken. I'm right there with you," Jess replied and turned to Matt. "You seriously think people will pay to read my novel? It's not like I'm expecting to get the Nobel prize for it."

"Dude, you need to lay off the negative tude, it's breaking down the mojo."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"He's asking you to trust us," Chris translated with a sly smile. "And you should. Like I told you, the hard part is over, you can just relax now."

"And hand over my life's work to you? I'm sorry but no way. You'll have to pry me away from this project with a freaking crowbar."

"That can be arranged," Jake commented quickly.

"Hey, hey, hey, I thought we just toasted to Jess still having both his kneecaps," Reg interfered, looking from Jake to Jess.

"Fine… But I'm not just kicking back from here on out. I'll take a stack of books and drop them off at the bookstores in the area."

They agreed on who would take a certain amount of books where, and continued with reminiscing about the months past as the cans of rootbeer got emptier, before finally returning to printing. The atmosphere in the room was lighter, more cheerful, and they made up plans for the months ahead. Reg said he'd take his "reserved" 19 copies of Jess's novel and bring it to the campus bookstore first thing Monday. He also made a fleeting promise of taking home Taylor to meet them. Jake talked about his job, and quickly got sidetracked and stuck in his usual 'my job is the best'-rant. Matt, Chris and Jess talked about the books they'd published in the room, what they should do next. Ideas were thrown around, some more serious than others, and Jess found himself returning to his call to Luke. Rory living with her grandparent. So wrong on so many levels, and what could he do about it? Absolutely nothing at all, and it annoyed him. She had been his… something, and now she was off living with the grandmonsters in the big stone house with the paved driveway, the maid and the obnoxious fountain. The only thing that kept popping up in his mind was why. Why now, why the grandparents, why at all.

When they closed up and headed home, Jess walked as if asleep. Matt and Chris had to yell at him to stop walking when they came back to the apartment building, and he avoided their questions about what he was thinking about. They didn't need to know. It was the same as with his disappearance earlier today. It was best left unsaid, and who knew if they'd even believe him if he told them the truth. He excused himself and stayed outside so he could call Luke, hoping his uncle would still be up.

"Yeah?" Luke answered grouchily after a few beeps.

"It's Jess."

"Are you okay?" Luke was instantly on guard.

"God, you really need to do that?" Jess commented irritably.

"Do what?"

"Act like you're bracing yourself for a load of bad news."

"I won't even answer that one."

"Fine…"

"You okay, then?"

"I'm… okay. We just finished up printing a book tonight," Jess replied, leaving out the major detail that it was his book they had printed.

"Oh, well… that's… nice," his uncle said waveringly.

"Yeah. Anyway, I just called to see how you were doing."

"I'm good. In fact I'm as good as I was earlier today when you called out of the blue."

Oh… Jess had almost forgotten that he had in fact talked to Luke earlier. He wouldn't be able to dismiss this without Luke suspecting something.

"It's Rory," he said quietly.

"Jess…" Luke sighed heavily.

"No, no, it's not like that," Jess hastily interrupted, knowing all too well what conclusions Luke had drawn. "It's the fact that she left Lorelai and moved in with her grandparents. It doesn't make sense."

"You tell me…"

"Has she been okay?"

"She's been going to Yale, worked at the newspaper there…" Luke offered hesitantly.

"The _Yale Daily News_?" Even though it was almost a given that Rory would find her way into the editorial staff at the _Yale Daily News_, he was still impressed.

"Yeah, that one," Luke affirmed.

"That's good. So what's the deal?"

"Look, I don't know the whole story, you'd have to talk to Lorelai, and…"

"I don't think so," Jess protested wildly. "She's still mad at me. Don't say she isn't. I would be mad at me if I was her."

Luke let out a laugh, and Jess could almost picture him scratching his head, readjusting the baseball cap.

"Yeah, probably…"

"Will they be okay?" Jess then asked, wanting desperately for Luke to say yes.

"I hope so. It's not the same without the two of them."

"That's for sure."

They had one of their awkward, silent moments when nothing could be heard over the line but shallow breaths and an occasional background noise.

"I'll… let you get back to whatever you were doing. And I won't call you anymore today."

"It was nice hearing from you, Jess… Again. Call if you ever, you know, think about heading north."

"I will. Bye, Luke."

His uncle said goobye, and they hung up. Jess shook his head. This had not helped at all, he knew no more than he had before, in fact, he almost knew less. There was nothing in the info Luke had offered that gave him any sort of clue as to why Rory had fled her mother. With thoughts buzzing in his head, he entered the apartment building, took the stairs up to their floor and entered the apartment. His friends had already disappeared into their rooms, and so he undressed, crept down under the covers and just laid there. His book, Rory, plans for the future. It was too much to comprehend, and he spent the night turning in his bed.

* * *

**A/N**: Help celebrate and leave a review!


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N**: Hello all! Good news! Kass has asked if she can jump aboard the Cedar Park-writing bandwagon, and no surprise, I told her to get on. This is once again a collaboration, which I think is awesome. With that happy thought in mind, I suggest you move on right ahead to chapter 23. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: ASP owns the Gilmore Girls characters. We own Cammie, cause she's flippin' awesome.

* * *

"Hi! Can I get you anything?"

Jess snapped up, only to see one of the two new waitresses, a girl with frizzy, short auburn hair and pale green eyes, Cammie had hired in front of him. He was sitting in one of the more secluded booths that made up the back of _Stampede_, trying to get by unnoticed. The guys were… somewhere, probably pimping out every single book they'd ever published, including his own, which was a pretty unsettling thought. His book had been out on the market for almost two weeks, and even though the stash at the campus bookstore hade sold out within days, Jess hadn't gotten the avalanche-like breakthrough Matt had been hoping for.

Personally, Jess liked it. There were clearly benefits to being an anonymous author, like not being recognized and analyzed in public. Then again, at times it made him paranoid, like when he escaped to Clark Park to read, but got stuck observing people who walked by. Had any of them read his book? Had they liked it? Could they see right through the opaque shroud that separated him from his protagonist? Did they wonder who he was? Did they wonder who _she_ was? Did they even care?

"What did you say?" he asked the waitress, who still waited for him to take his order.

"I asked if I could get you anything," she repeated, giving him a warm smile that showed the dimples in her cheek.

"I thought this was a coffeeshop, not a restaurant."

"It is. A coffeeshop I mean. Cammie sent me, she told me to go look for Grumpy and ask if he needed anything."

"Grumpy? Cammie called me Grumpy?"

"She did," the girl affirmed, nodding her head. "She told me to look in the back for someone who looked like his mom, dad, grandma and cat had all died."

"Love the vote of confidence there."

"So, do you need anything?"

"I'm good," Jess replied. He'd had a cup of coffee when they arrived, declining Cammie's offer of a little added scotch to get him of the sulk-bandwagon. He'd asked if she even had a permit to serve alcoholic beverages, which she apparantly didn't have. Yet.

"Courtesy of the slow jerks at the Pennsylvania LCB. They said I would have it before I opened. Then they changed it to by the time I opened. Now I've been promised to have my licence by the end of next week. I'm thinking I might get it by the end of the year, if I'm lucky," Cammie had ranted, and longingly glanced over her shoulder towards the storage area.

Jess expected the waitress to leave and head back to the counter, but she stayed, standing by his table in silence.

"Yes?" he said dejectedly.

"It's just that Cammie told me that I was not to come back without an order," the girl ventured, chewing her lips.

Of course she did. Jess sighed and ordered another cup of coffee. The girl scurried off to the counter, and he had barely even pulled out his copy of Bukowski's _Ham on Rye_. It was the first time he'd read it since arriving in Philly, and though he supposed that Liz had loved him in her own fruity way, instead of being cold and cruel like Chinaski's father, he couldn't help but see himself as he had been at seventeen in Henry Chinaski.

"Coffee and…_Ham on Rye_?" The waitress was back with his coffee.

"I just ordered coffee," Jess said, alredy swept up by the book.

"No, I know. I just… You're reading _Ham on Rye_," the girl clarified.

He felt pretty stupid for not realizing she had meant his book and not a sandwich.

"I read it for one of my lit classes," the girl offered, putting down his cup of coffee. "I'm a student at Drexel University. Bukowski is good, there's something really harsh about _Ham on Rye_ that got to me."

Jess briefly wondered if this was some twisted attempt of Cammie's to find him a new girlfriend, someone who would work with him at the coffeeshop, and who knew literature. If it was, he suspected the poor girl in front of him didn't know about it, so it would be rude of him to give her shit because of Cammie's unwanted matchmaking session.

"I know what you mean." Jess tried to discreetly look at her in search of a nametag, but could only guess that some company or other were holding out on Cammie with the nametags. "Though in my opinion, _Ham on Rye_ is far better than_ Post Office_. It's one of the few books I regret ever reading."

"Funny, my boyfriend thought _Post Office_ was way better than _Ham on Rye_."

"Let me guess, he also thinks that Bukowski's drabbles with Beat-inspired poetry is the best thing there ever was?"

"I don't know about that, but you seem to think so. Not a fan of the Beats?" the girl guessed, and sat down opposite him.

"I have nothing against the Beats. They knew what they were doing. Bukowski wrote good novels, some even great, but his poetry… Either it's me or his poetry is a pile of crap."

"Sounds like one of the books you regret reading is one of Bukowski's collected poems. What other books do you regret reading?"

"Ian McEwan's _A Child in Time_. I still have no idea what that book was about, and I was disappointed, because I had read _Atonement_ before that, and that was at least a book I understood. I have yet to make it through Ayn Rand's _The Fountainhead_. She's a political nut, and there's nothing that will ever change my opinion of her."

"I'll keep my fingers crossed that I don't have to read them then, at least not for school," the redhead answered with a short laugh. She excused herself, rose from the seat and returned to the counter.

Not two minutes later, Cammie dove into the booth, taking the girl's place opposite him. _"Here we go…"_ Jess thought sardonically.

"So, what do you think?" Cammie asked him, almost bouncing in her seat, with her hair (recently dyed to and even brighter shade of pink with green sticking out at the ends).

She had obviously had a good night so far. Most of the people she had invited, friends, people from some of the smaller independent papers in Philly, owners of other coffeeshops she knew, had turned up, and so far, every one was enjoying _Stampede_. Cammie had done a great job transforming the everyday coffeeshop to a funky haven of color, interior design, music and coffee. The walls were painted dark, with swirling graphic patterns in bright colors and strategically placed spotlights on the ceiling. The counter was still in the same spot, though now painted black, with a glass front that showed all the delicacies the coffeeshop offered. Behind the counter were the coffee machines, shiny monsters that could make virtually any kind of coffee you wanted, and above were shelves, empty for the moment, that would hold the liquor.

"Where do you want me to begin?" Jess replied, though he knew Cammie wanted to know about the girl.

"The place?"

"Different. Good-different. More you. Perfect for you, actually."

"The coffee?"

"Not…" He was about to say 'Not as good as Luke's', but that would warrant questions that he didn't want to answer. "Not bad," Jess said instead. "Doesn't taste like battery acid, which is more than I can say about most of the coffee I've tasted in Philly."

"And your new co-worker?" Cammie wiggled her eyebrows.

"Knows a good Bukowski when she reads one. Ever heard of nametags by the way?"

"She didn't tell you her name? Wow, she is a bit spacey… And I'll have the nametags on Monday. You'll get your own, so everyone knows your name is Grumpy."

"Duely noted."

"But you liked her? You liked Jessie?"

"Jessie?" Jess repeated, and a thought struck him that maybe Cammie had hired the girl just because she had the potential to become the female version of him.

"Jezebel, but if you want to keep breathing, you call her Jessie," Cammie said in a low voice, as if Jessie could hear her from the counter. "She's pretty cute, right?"

Okay. Scratch that. Definitely trying to pimp the new girl out to him.

"Nice try, miss Matchmaker. She's got a boyfriend," he pointed out before Cammie would get way out of hand with her matchmaking.

"You asked her?"

"Belive it or not, Cammie, she actually volunteered that information all on her own, without me asking a question that had anything to do with her personal life. And don't try to pimp me out to anyone. I don't want a girlfriend."

"Maybe it isn't want as much as need?" Cammie coaxed, trying to sound convincing.

"Or maybe I don't want a girlfriend because I don't need one," Jess countered aggressively.

"Jess. You need a girl, trust me. Your romantic life has mailed me and asked for my help. You need to stop pining and get on with your life."

"Thanks for the concern, grandma. Have I asked you for anything during my time in Philly?"

"Yes, actually…"

"It was a rhetorical question. This is me asking you to butt out of my social life, especially the romantic part of it…"

"So you have a romantic part of your social life?" she interrupted with a teasing smile.

"Don't play matchmaker," Jess continued over Cammie's comment. "Don't go all Doctor Phil on me and ask that I talk about my feelings. Don't ask about… about…" It was hard for him to say Rory's name, just because he now had no idea of where in the coffeeshop the guys were. If they heard Rory's name, they would be on him like leeches.

"About..?" Cammie echoed, clearly wanting Jess to say Rory's name out loud.

"About… the girl," Jess whispered quietly, giving Cammie a pointed look.

"Fine. Lips sealed, glued together, locked and encoded. Not a word about that thing I can't say a word about will leave these lips."

"Nice to see you take my request seriously."

"Hey! This is me being serious… Sort of," Cammie giggled. "Now if you excuse me, I have a couple of reporters I need to impress with my incredible entrepreneurship. Enjoy the coffee. I promise I didn't spit in it."

She sauntered off, and Jess shot a look at the coffee in his mug, and decided that perhaps it was best not to drink the coffee. Comments like that made you think twice about touching anything the commenter had put his or her hands on. Not that Cammie seemed like the type to spit in other people's coffee. At least not habitually. But, just to be on the safe side, Jess pushed the cup away from him, and continued reading his book.

Cosmos, of course, did not want him to finish it this evening. Two chapters later, Matt, Chris and Jake came prowling through the room and flopped down in the seat next to him and opposite him.

"Dude, some of us got rid of our Blankie in pre-school," Jake commented when he saw Jess reading.

"And some of us actually moved on from junior high," Jess replied sarcastically, putting away the book, since he clearly wouldn't get a moment's peace and quiet around here.

"Why are you sitting here sulking, man?" Matt asked. "You should be out there, doing PR, or something."

"Oh, I'm sure you're doing an excellent job, Matt."

"Yeah, well, it's not like you pay me for it…" Matt immediately turned to Chris, who looked like he wanted to say something. "And don't come dragging with another philosophical sermon about the material world and all that esoteric crap."

"Matt, do you have any idea what 'esoteric' even means?" Chris asked, smirking. It had been a while since Chris had gone all Kierkegaard on them, because Matt had always been there to steer him away from things that were clearly rambling-material.

"Does it sound like it? No, and you know why? Because you don't know jack about it. Self-taught philosophers should be shot and hanged, not necessarily in that order."

"Ouch!" Chris put his hand over his heart, and slid down the seat, feigning dying.

"Come on, man, I know it's crap, you know it's crap, those two know it's crap. The crap-radar is all a-ringing, so chill."

"Fine…"

"Where's Reg?" Jess asked, changing the subject before things got heated.

"Last I saw him, he was chatting up one of the waitresses," Jake answered, trying to spot Reg in the room full of people.

"That's rich, considering he supposedly has quote girlfriend unquote," Chris commented with a wide smirk.

"Do you think they 'broke up'?" Matt asked, using handquotes.

They spent the better part of an hour discussing Reg's girlfriend, imaginary or not, his new hook up-waitress ("Does she even know what she's getting herself into?" Jake wondered), and if they should go over there ruin his mojo with a sufficiently loud "Hey, Reg, where's Taylor?". Though Jess found that idea entertaining enough, it was also one notch below the usual funny/mean pranks the guys usually played, and so he botched the idea and got the guys talking about the place, and with perfect timing, Cammie bounced back with a digital camera in hand. They all (okay, so Jess was not all too enthusiastic) posed for pictures, a multitude of pictures from virtually every angle, as Cammie comemorated _Stampede_'s opening night with her camera. By the time she toddled off, Reg's questionable ladies' man-behavior was forgotten, and Matt, Chris and Jake had moved on to talking about some newbie's first anthology they were supposed to print next week. Apparantly, there was a bit of a struggle labelling the guy as the next something. Chris thought the guy was a new kind of Kurt Vonnegut, which Matt thought was "just like calling the guy a blundering moron" and argued that the writing style was much more reminiscent of Joseph Heller.

"Come on, people who've read Vonnegut thinks that Heller writes in the same style, what's the difference?" Chris countered, slamming his fist in the table.

"The difference is that _Catch 22_ is a much better novel than _Slaughterhouse Five_," Matt said, as if it was obvious.

"Guys, guys, knock off the Battle of the Dead Novelists," Jake interrupted and nodded towards the counter. "We've got incoming. Reg and his stella, twelve o'clock."

Chris and Matt quickly quieted down and turned to look where Reg nodded. Jess watched too, as Reg made his way through the room hand in hand with Jessie, the blonde waitress he had talked to about Bukowski earlier. Suddenly, things made sense, and he surpressed a smirk when he put two and two together.

"Guys," Reg greeted them with a smile.

"Lothario, always good to see you," Jake greeted him in return, cocking an eyebrow suggestively.

Jessie spotted Jess in the corner and nodded, which made Matt look from Jess to Jessie to Reg and back. Jess shook his head. This was gonna be fun.

"This… is my girlfriend," Reg continued, turning to Jessie with the silliest grin on his face. "Jessie."

"But…" Matt began, but Chris gave him a hard kick on the shins under the table, to get him to shut up.

"Nice to meet you. Reggie has talked about you all so much, it feels like I know you," Jessie said, almost blushing from having four (well, three…) guys staring at her like they had never seen a girl before.

"I just wanted to introduce Jessie to you, you know, in the interest of full disclosure," Reg continued, giving them all pointed glances that clearly said "stop staring".

Jess was the only one who picked up on the silent command, and looked away. Matt, Chris and Jake continued to stare as Reg tried to get some smalltalk going, and he was not very successful. It's not easy to have a normal conversation when you've got three guys ogling your girlfriend, one so obviously that it looked like his eyes were about to fall out. Thankfully, Jessie excused herself soon after, and hurried back to her place behind the counter.

"I'm sorry, what have I missed here?" Matt said as soon as he saw Jessie was back by the counter. "I think I speak for everyone here when I say I thought your girlfriend was named Taylor, not Jessie."

"Jezebel, technically," Jess chipped in, and got a dark glare from Reg.

"Okay, first of all, you should kiss the ground I walk on because I introduced her to you guys," Reg began defensively.

"What's with the covername? I take it she hasn't changed her name recently?" Jake asked.

"Because you are all swell guys who absolutely wouldn't mock the name Jezebel."

"Aw, Reg, your cup of confidence floweth over there, buddy…" Chris teased and grinned.

Reg ignored him and looked at Jess.

"Okay, let's have it. Everyone at this table have said something mildly insulting about either me or my girlfriend, what do you have to say?"

Jess thought about it for a moment. He could either follow suit and be borderline mean, or he could be nice about the whole thing. Or…

"What I wanna know is how the hell you can prefer _Post Office_ over _Ham on Rye_. I would check my head if I were you," he said, mock-seriously, and Reg huffed, looking like he was about to implode.

"You are all just swell. How did I ever end up with friends like you?"

"You won the cosmic lottery while you stood in line to exit heaven," Matt quipped. "You know we're just messing with you, so get off your high non-existent horse and get your butt over here."

Him and Chris moved over, effectively nailing Chris to the wall, to make place for Reg. Reg sighed and sat down, running his hand through his messy hair. He held a minor sermon about the importance of not calling Jessie by her given name and the groundrules for what was accepted behavior around the apartment, should he ever bring her home (he more or less forbade anything that the guys would think of as fun). They all nodded, just so they could move on, and soon they were back to wildly discussing the newbie and which dead author they could detect in his writing. When _Stampede_ closed at 11 pm, they were the last ones there, and Cammie had to more or less pry them away from their booth. Jess's cup of coffee was still sitting on the table, and he left money for it even though it was untouched.

"Guys, one thing before you toddle off to that charming little dump of yours," Cammie hollered when they were at the door.

They all turned around, looking back at her.

"If I catch you trying to snatch that table from a costumer I will hunt you down and slap you over the head with something heavy. You can pick the object, but it will be heavy. Are we clear?"

"Crystal!" Matt and Jake yelled back simultaneously, and they all exited _Stampede_.

"I say we drive her nuts next Thursday," Jake suggested mischievously when the door had slammed shut behind them.

"Deal," Matt agreed, shaking hands with Jake.

"I'm in," Chris said and lightly punched Matt's shoulder.

"Me, too," Reg piped up.

Jess had every intention of saying no, he was after all gonna work with Cammie as his boss, but the look the guys gave him when he didn't answer, made him draw a deep breath which he let out in one large huff before saying:

"The things you lure me into doing…"

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**A/N**: Review pretty please!


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N- **Kassandra27 here, I'm back, this is the first chapter I've written since chapter six by the looks of it... ah that looks bad, haha, but I've read and reviewed every chapter there's been, so that's something. Umm, don't know what else to say, Pia (Icanseeyourface) has been doing an excellent job in my absence, and hopefully together we can make it kick-ass.

**Disclaimer- **We don't own GG, but once again we do own Cammie, and now Pia owns Cammie's shoe, haha.

Enjoy

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Jess followed the guys into _Stampede_, it was quickly becoming their spot again, it's like all the months they spent at other coffee joints and bars didn't even exist, they just preferred Cammie's, or probably just Cammie Jess thought. Jess was following them silently as they made their way over to 'their' booth.

"Have a seat wherever you want," Jessie told them as she fluttered past them, _Stampede_ was packed, as usual.

Jess could see the events unfolding in front of him, but was powerless to stop them. He had encountered this scene many times before, and it was playing out exactly as it always had. Would he never be able to escape his past? So he followed the others, unable to change the events that were about to take place. The group stopped before their table and Chris spoke.

"Damn, our table's taken."

It was as if that line triggered something in him, and Jess pushed to the front of the group and spoke without realizing it. "Excuse me, but can you please move-"

"Jess," Cammie warned as she walked past and grabbed him by the ear, effectively dragging him away from the table. "I told you that you couldn't sit at that table if other customers were there," she hissed at him.

"But Jessie said we could sit anywhere," Jess defended. He didn't even know why he was saying this, any of this. He didn't care what table they sat at.

"What's going on with you?" Cammie asked after she noticed that the rest of the guys had taken a seat at an empty table.

"Nothing," Jess lied. He wasn't ready to let anyone in on his thoughts just yet.

"Okay," Cammie responded knowing he was holding back but knowing better than to push him. "Well when you're ready, I'm here."

"Is this lecture over," Jess snapped back, and Cammie instantly took a step back. "Good," Jess added as he left Cammie and made his way back over to the table.

Jessie came and took their orders, and they drank their coffees in silence before Matt spoke up.

"I'm bored, let's play a game."

"A game?" Reg questioned him confused. "From inside the cafe?"

"Yes," Matt answered.

"Well don't look at me, I don't know any games," Reg said holding up his hands.

"Me either," Jake and Chris said at the same time.

"Well me either," Matt said sadly. "And I don't think there's any reason to ask Jess, because I mean come on, it's Jess."

"I have one," Jess said ignoring his comment. It seemed as though his brain wasn't even connected to his mouth today. "It's called One, Two, Three."

"Never heard of it, but I'm intrigued," Matt said excitedly. "How do we play?"

"Well you take it in turns, as soon as one female... or male if you prefer, walks past the window you say yes or no, if you say yes then that's it, you're with them for life, but you can say no and hold out for number two. Same deal there, you can say yes or no, but if you say no then you are automatically stuck with whoever the third person is, so be careful."

"Ooh, me first," Matt said excitedly and Jess just sat back and watched them play.

That was the second thing today and he initiated it again. Subconsciously or not, it was all him. Why was he bringing them back up, not just her, but her mother too. Did _Stampede_ just remind him that much of Luke's or was it something else? He glanced around the cafe/diner, and the customers were suddenly reminding him of the townies, Kirk, Babette, Patty, Taylor, Luke, Lorelai... Rory. Jess jumped up immediately and ran outside. He couldn't handle it anymore. It was as if they were all in there, and he felt his heart go into overdrive. Why were they here? They shouldn't be here, this was his place not theirs. He let out a frustrated scream.

"Jess calm down," Cammie whispered in his ear, and he whipped around to face her. "I'm here, what's happening, talk to me please."

"I just... I can't..." Jess grabbed at his chest he felt as though he was suffocating.

"Breathe Jess, you've got to breathe," Cammie told him, trying to hold his weight up.

"I can't, it's too much, everything, everyone," Jess said incoherently, nervously looking around, his eyes searching the surroundings. "Why are they all here?"

"Chris," Cammie yelled out and Chris was across the road and at her side in seconds, he had been watching the two out the window.

"What's going on? What's wrong with him?" Chris asked concerned.

"I don't know, help him to my apartment around the corner."

"Are you sure he doesn't need to go to the hospital?" Chris asked confused as he put Jess' arm around him. "He looks pretty bad."

"No, just get him to my apartment," Cammie ordered him as she put Jess' other arm around her and made her way off to her apartment.

The walk was quick, but Jess passed out from a panic attack just seconds after they got walking. Chris and Cammie hauled him as best they could, ignoring the pointed looks they got from passers-by. Minutes later they were at Cammie's apartment, and she swiftly unlocked the door while Chris pulled Jess inside.

"Put him on the couch," Cammie said and Chris carefully sat Jess down.

"Do you need any help, an ambulance maybe?" Chris asked still concerned.

"No, I've got it from here, I'll call you if you need anything," Cammie told him as she went and got a wet washcloth from the bathroom.

"Okay," Chris said uneasily as he saw an unconscious Jess on the couch. He had never seen Jess so weak, he wanted to stay and make sure he was alright, but he didn't want to endure the wrath of Cammie, so he left.

Cammie came out of the bathroom with a wet washcloth and sat on the floor by Jess and began wiping his forehead. It didn't take long for him to stir. His face went from relaxed to panicked in seconds, he opened his eyes quickly, and calmed down as soon as he saw Cammie and her apartment. He then focused on getting his breathing and heart rate back to normal.

"You need to talk to me Jess," Cammie said soothingly, but strongly.

"I know," Jess replied softly.

"Here, sit up for a minute," Jess sat up and Cammie sat down and put Jess' head in her lap. "Just talk," Cammie said as she ran her fingers through his hair comfortingly.

"My Uncle Luke runs a diner, and you remind me of him so much, and I guess your cafe does too," Jess explained. "Back there, everything was reminding me of... home. The people, the coffee, my actions. I've been trying to lock away that life for so long and now it's coming back up subconsciously."

"Do you know why?" Cammie asked him.

"No... maybe... yes," Jess said giving in.

"Care to fill me in?" Cammie asked.

"I've been talking to my Uncle Luke, once a week sometimes more," Jess explained.

"So you're missing home, that's reasonable."

"No, not exactly. Rory..." Jess trailed off.

"Rory, don't tell me that the mystery girl, commonly referred to as 'Blue' has a name."

"Not the point," Jess replied getting annoyed.

"Sorry, I just didn't realize that we were now on a first name basis, well on an any name basis actually," Cammie caught Jess glaring at her and decided to stop the teasing for now. "So Rory," Cammie prompted.

"She quit Yale, she moved out of home, and she's living with her grandparents," Jess rattled off quickly. "She believed in me, she said I could do more, how can I make it if she can't. She's spiraling so far out of control and I can't do anything to help her."

"Sure you can."

"Oh yeah, I'll just show up in her life and say 'hey Rory, sorry I haven't contacted you since I saw you last and asked you to run away with me, but umm... can you maybe go back to school and move back home with your mother," Jess ranted sarcastically.

"Sure, why not," Cammie replied. "But maybe leave out the part about you seeing her and leaving her, just stick to the positive points."

"Are you insane, what if one of your Pittsburgh friends showed up out of the blue?"

"We're not talking about me Jess," Cammie told him.

"I know, I'm sorry. I just feel that it's my job to talk to her, if her mother can't get through to her... then I think I'm the only one that can, but I don't know if I can."

"Jess, it sounds as though this girl is throwing her life away, it doesn't matter if you can or can't handle seeing her again, you just have to suck it up and go. You just have to try and something tells me that you can't make it any worse."

"Really, have you met me? Have you forgotten entirely what I told you about my life in Stars Hollow? I was an idiot! You agreed with me on that, if I remember correctly," Jess spat irritably. "Anyway, as I said, I can't just show up out of the blue."

"You said something about her believing in you."

"Yeah, so?" Jess asked completely missing her point.

"Have you already forgotten that you wrote a book, Jess?" Cammie asked him.

"No, but she doesn't need to read that. There are things in that book..."

"Jess, she believed in you, she pushed you to do more, it's your turn to pay her back, tell her that you believe in her, tell her that she can do more. Just say that you were in the area distributing your book to local stores. Let her read it, let her see how far you've come, tell her it's all because of her, and then talk to her. Tell her what you honestly think. No one else will tell her how it is, only you can do that. She trusts you Jess, she knows you, you're the only one who can turn her life around. So just get off your butt and go see her."

Jess looked away, reluctant to admit that Cammie had a point.

"Hey, it might even give you some closure," Cammie continued when he didn't answer. "Okay, you're fine now, ball's in your court, so I'm going back to work. Think, and follow you heart."

Cammie left the apartment, leaving Jess on the couch, contemplating what he was going to do. He already knew what he had to do. Cammie was right, he knew it deep down, but it still didn't mean that it would be easy.

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**A/N- **Okay you've read it, now review it. Tell me if it was good or if it sucked, I think it will take a little bit to get my head back into the storyline, so let me know how it went.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N**: Thank you everyone who reviewed, means a lot! And now, the moment I'm sure many of you have been waiting for. Give it up for Jess in Hartford, part one! Enjoy !

**Disclaimer**: ASP owns Gilmore Girls. We own Cammie, 'cause nobody else could've come up with with such a kick-ass character.

* * *

_This was a bad idea…_ It was the only thing Jess was able to think as the intimidating silhouette of the Gilmore mansion came into view. The lone copy of _The Subsect_ that he carried in his duffel bag felt like it was made of lead. How the hell had Cammie talked him into this again?

Jess had left Cammie, feeling incomparably embarrassed. Going home was out of the question, it would just be another level of Kill me now-embarrassment that he just couldn't handle. He put his phone on Silent, and began wandering around, somehow ending up on the park bench on Spruce, where he'd spent his first, cold night in Philadelphia.

"So this is what it has come to," he thought ironically to himself. "Jess Mariano, fainting over a girl."

His friends back in New York would have laughed at him… Then again, those people hardly qualified as friends any more. He hadn't talked to any of them since he got shipped off to Stars Hollow, not even during his brief return to the city, before he got hauled back to attend his mother's wedding. And let's face it: those people hadn't done him any good. They were the reason he got sent away in the first place. It was amazing what a bad crowd and a well-placed bag of crap could do.

His thoughts returned to Cammie. Jess wanted nothing more than to dismiss her advice as "misguided", but he couldn't. "Think and follow your heart". Cammie knew everything about him, she had a way of getting his twisted mind that was borderline scary. As hard as it was for him to admit it, the girl had a point. Maybe…

No. He would not go back. He couldn't. He and Rory were over, no longer a thing, but two separate entities. _But still…_ He shook his head, and regretted ever having put pen to paper. Without _The Subsect_, this would never have happened. Or would it? Did his crackdown back at _Stampede_ have anything to do with his book at all? The answer was painfully obvious in all its simplicity.

No.

_The Subsect_ may have speeded things up, but sooner or later, the crackdown would've come. Perhaps it was good that it had come now, when there was still a miniscule possibility to address the matter. Rory and him had been a messed up couple, the pain had been at least a little mutual. Romeo and Juliet would want to take notes, no doubt. They, at least, had only their families to worry about. Try having a relationship when the entire town, Juliet's oafy ex-boyfriend included, was on your ass. Dean. Jess snickered. Maybe he should send Dean a copy of _The Subsect_, and see how long it would take to get a response.

Regardless, the issue was not the book, although it would've been nice if it could've been his scapegoat. The real issue was Rory, and her presence in his life, despite her being miles away, living life without Jess in it. It didn't matter that he had poured his heart and soul into every letter of _The Subsect_, it meant squat as long as she didn't know about it. His words would only get meaning, validation when she read them.

Cammie had been right. Damn her.

Jess trudged home, knowing full well what he had to do. He formulated a plan as he walked up the stairs to the apartment. Matt attacked him as soon as he stepped inside.

"Where the hell have you been, man? You don't answer your phone, Cammie said you left hours ago and Chris, Reg and Jake are out looking for you! What happened back there?"

Jess suppressed a grin. You could always count on Matt to throw a hissy fit.

"I'd rather not talk about it," he replied evasively. "Look, I need to leave town for a few days."

"Leave town?" Matt repeated, surprised. "Are you bolting out on us?"

"No," Jess said, and hoped it wasn't a lie. "I just… need to go back home. Private family business, you know."

He walked past Matt, up to the couch, where he began shoving stuff into his duffel bag.

"Wait, you need to leave now? Like, right now?"

"The sooner, the better."

"Oh… Okay, man. You go do what you need to do. Come see us again when you get back."

"Jeez, Matt," Jess groaned. "I'm not getting shipped off to 'Nam, I'm just going home for a few days. Look, I'll bring a couple of _Subsects_ with me, I'll drop them off at some bookstores along the way, okay? I'll be back before you have time to miss my pissy attitude."

It was the perfect excuse to get at least one copy of _The Subsect_ with him. If he actually did stumble across some bookstore on his way to Connecticut, dropping off a copy wouldn't be a bad idea. He packed ten copies, and walked to the door.

"I'll see you soon," he called out over his shoulder as he left.

The train ride was a drag. It seemed to go on forever, yet Jess was aware of every mile that brought him closer to Hartford. He thought back to the bus ride from California, how he just couldn't get past Pittsburgh, it had been too painful. This time, there was no pain, not yet anyway. Hartford was dark when he got there. Jess rented a car and drove to Stars Hollow in the middle of the night, slipping into Luke's using the spare key. Luke nearly bashed his head in with a baseball bat when Jess opened the door to the upstairs apartment.

"What are you doing here?" his uncle asked, bewildered, and put away the bat.

"Personal business," Jess replied, only to have Luke glare at him. "Fine. Luke, I need to see her. I don't care if you think I'm a certified idiot or if you want to give me a sermon on just how bad an idea it is to go see her. It's something I have to do, for both of us."

Luke observed him in silence, and it was unnerving. Jess had expected him to yell and order him back to Philly, but Luke just sighed.

"She's still living with Emily and Richard in Hartford. You can have your old bed. Good night."

Without any further comments, Luke went back to bed, leaving Jess standing stunned in the darkness. He heard Luke turn in his bed, and tiptoed over to his old bed. The linen was fresh, God knows why. No one had probably slept in this bed since he left. It was odd to be back in the small apartment, in the same old bed he'd slept in before. He woke up when Luke's alarm sounded. He waited until Luke was downstairs, then packed up, nicking a large envelope before slipping out unnoticed while Luke argued with his bread guy. When Jess got to his car, he put a copy of The Subsect in the blank envelope, sealed it and left it unsigned at the bookstore before leaving Stars Hollow.

Hartford was different from Philly, and Jess realized he had never spent any actual time in Hartford. He'd only seen the Gilmore's house, and he was very reluctant to return, even though it now seemed like his only option. Cammie called three times before lunch, but Jess dodged all her calls. He couldn't afford the distraction.

Then Jess saw her. At least he thought it was Rory. It looked like Rory, albeit a dolled-up version of her, with chestnut brown hair, swaggering down the street before getting into a blue Toyota. Could it really be Rory? Luke had clearly said she'd been living with her grandparents, but it was a Wednesday. Shouldn't she at least be at Yale now? The Rory look-a-like took off, and Jess moved on. He found two bookstores, which accepted his book and the owners promised to call if they wanted to stock _The Subsect_. He had lunch and ignored phone calls from Chris. He thought about Rory and considered calling, but had to tell himself 'no'. Either he manned up and had a face to face confrontation, or he went back to Philly to live miserably ever after. He had to go back to the Gilmore mansion. He put it off for as long as he could, finding a cheap motel on the outskirts of Hartford, fidgeting with a copy of _The Subsect_.

Jess had no idea how he was supposed to get to Rory without attracting the attention of her grandparents. His last appearance at the Gilmore house had not left any kind of positive impression, and he was pretty sure Emily Gilmore would have him arrested if he ever darkened her doorstep and she saw it. The day had turned into evening when he finally got off his ass, stuffed a copy of The Subsect in his duffel bag and drove over to the Gilmore's. He parked about a block away and walked the last bit. Just as he turned to corner onto the Gilmore's street, he saw the blue Toyota coming at him. He tried to make himself scarce, but managed to sneak a peek at the driver. Sure, there she was, driving off without having seen him. Jess turned around, and walked back to the car. It was no use hanging around the house, people would just find it suspicious. He might just as well wait in the car, maybe drive around a little and check back later. She couldn't be gone for long.

She was. It was just after two when Jess decided it was safe to start walking around again. He closed in on the mansion to see if he hadn't missed Rory at some point. But the driveway was as empty as ever. But just as he turned back, a car turned onto the street. Jess dove into the hedge on instinct, keeping his eye on the car. Rory was back. She turned the Toyota onto the driveway, quietly parking it. Jess emerged from the hedges, peeking in through the gates just as Rory stepped out of the car. She turned around, probably to close the gates, and it was impossible not to see him.

"Jess..." she breathed, taken aback by his presence.

She looked so different and still so much a like. If one could disregard the posh clothes, the designer bag and her clicking heels, she was there, the girl who had stolen his heart with her sapphire blue eyes.

"Hey," he greeted neutrally. What else was there to do?

"Hey... I..."she stuttered, immediately stopping to collect herself before continuing. "Sorry, that wasn't a sentence."

"I got the gist of it."

"What are you doing here?" Rory wondered.

"I got a new job, professional drive way stalker," Jess quipped, feeling humor had always been safe ground for them.

"Pay's good?"

It was a relief to hear her quip back like that, it meant the high society lifestyle couldn't have gotten to her completely.

"Yeah, but the hours suck."

"Jess..."

"I'm in town on a little business. All nice and above board," he admitted, proud that he didn't lie.

"How'd you know where to find me?" she inquired, looking like she didn't really want to hear the answer.

"Luke. I shook it out of him. He wasn't sure if it was okay."

"It's okay." Jess didn't think it looked or sounded like it was okay. "You look good," Rory continued. "The years don't seem to have hardened you."

"Yeah, you look good, too," Jess offered, fisting his hands in his pockets. "I know this is kind of weird, but there's actually something I want to tell you, well, show you actually. I can come back another time."

Please, dear God, let her say 'come back another time'...

"No, it's just..." She stopped and looked up, pointing towards the house. "We're kind of exposed here. My... Her window's, like, right there."

"Whose?" he asked, not looking to see where she was pointing.

"My grandma's. You want to come in?"

"You sure?"

"Yeah, come on. But just be careful, she's a very light sleeper."

She took the lead, walking as quietly as she could in her heels. Jess looked up at the menacing house, wondering what it had done to the old Rory. They took off their shoes before she unlocked the door in two timid clicks, and they stalked up the stairs in a way that made Jess feel like they were a couple of cat burglars. Rory led him through a set of corridors, walking through a couple of rooms so as to avoid her grandmother's bedroom. Finally, she pointed to a door on the left, which she opened and stepped into. He followed, disbelievingly.

"So, here we are," she said, putting her keys on a lavish mantlepiece. The room was over the top, and so not Rory.

"Casa Rory..." he commented, slightly sarcastic, looking around. Rory wasted no time, and took a large throw pillow from the extravagant bed and put it by the door.

"So our voices don't carry," she explained sheepishly.

"Very prudent."

"This is not really my taste," she whitewashed, trying to make her arrangement seem better than it really was.

"Yeah, not unless you've aged about 90 years," Jess teased, leaning in towards her. The light scent of perfume that wafted off of her smelled expensive.

"I haven't," Rory assured him with a smile.

"Is that for Halloween?" He pointed to a silly-looking dress that hung on the door.

"No, no. This is just for a function I have to go to..." Rory took down the dress, fidgeting it nervously.

"Function?"

"It's just a job..." Whitewashing again, Jess noted. Her voice trembled as she continued explaining. "The DAR... Daughters of the American Revolution. It's not a career or anything."

"I hope not."

"No. See, don't get the wrong idea. I'm only here temporarily. My mom and I..."

She was so on the defense, it was obvious he had hit her weak spot. The atmosphere turned awkward in nanoseconds, and Jess didn't want anything more than to relieve her pain now.

"Luke alluded to something," he therefore interrupted her.

"It's a long story. I was crashing in the pool house, and that was just temporary, but the pool house became storage, so then I had to move into the main house... All temporary."

Temporary, temporary, what was with the whole temporary-deal?

"Isn't school in session?" he asked, truly curious as to why she was living in this madhouse and not at Yale. "Why aren't you living on campus?"

"Because I'm not going," she replied, arms crossed over her torso, her eyes trying to avert his gaze.

"You graduate already, Doogie?" he asked humorously, nudging her.

"No. I'm just taking a little time off."

And there it was. It It explained everything. The fight with Lorelai, the insane idea of living with her grandparents, the mother-freaking DAR, the posh clothes, the expensive perfume...

"Time off," he echoed, trying to hide his disappointment. Of the two of them, he never would've imagine him being the one to make something meaningful of his life.

"So, where are you living, Jess?" Rory quickly said, steering the topic away from her absence from Yale and the life she'd always talked about when they were together. "I want to know about you, mystery man."

"I'm in Philly."

"Really?" she said, sounding excited.

"Don't laugh!"

"No, I'm not. Philadelphia's gotten cool."

"And New York's gotten expensive," Jess rebutted, avoiding any mentioning of California. "Anyway, it's a pretty cool scene in Philly now, lot of younger people there. Pretty big art scene."

"I know. I read that in the _New York Times_. They had a picture of a bunch of people standing on a roof, kind of eclectic and all. It looked fun. I mean, it was clearly one of those pictures that wasn't candid, it was looking a little stiff, but they looked happy." There she was again, the old Rory, the real Rory. She sounded so engaged and at ease.

"Are you nervous?" he asked, waiting for her response.

"A little. It's been a long time," she conceded with a short laugh.

"I'm a little nervous, too."

"Good, I'm not alone."

"So I didn't come here to chat, I wanted to show you something." He tugged at his duffel bag, diving into it to retrieve the real reason behind his visit.

"Right, you said that."

"And I didn't think you'd believe it if I didn't show it to you in person," he said, handing her the book.

"Well, color me curious..." She took the book, reading the front cover. "A book... _The Subsect_... Written by Jess Mariano?"

"It's no misprint," he quickly interjected.

"You wrote a book?" She was astounded, watching him wide eyed.

"A short novel."

"You wrote a book?" she repeated, glancing at the book, then at him, then back at the book.

"Through a fluke, I got it to these guys that have a small press, and they read it," he told her, watching her intent expression as she flipped through the book. "I don't know if they were high or something, but they decided to publish it."

"You wrote a book..."

"There's no money in it. They only printed like 500 of them. Believe me, I'm not quitting my day job."

"But you wrote it. You wrote a book."

"Yeah, I know, it's hard to believe," Jess said, smiling.

"You sat down and wrote a novel." Rory's tone was almost disbelieving, and it was hard to tell if it was that he had written a book, or if it was because he had maybe accomplished more than she had now.

"Author distributed, too. That's why I'm here," he continued, feeling a hint of pride inside. "I'm going around, begging independent bookstores to put it in stock. Got it in a few." Wow, that was almost a lie. He'd have to find a couple more bookstores tomorrow so it would all be true.

"Cool! Where?" she stated exuberantly.

"Around."

"I want to see it in store."

"I can give you the addresses."

"You know what I'm gonna do when I see it in the store?"

"What?" he wondered, and watched as she turned into an excited little girl at the thought of her plan.

"You know that section toward the front, the staff recommendations? I'm gonna grab a copy of your book and put it in that section, and then I'm going to write my own little recommendation on a card and attach it so people see it and buy it."

"Read it first," Jess laughed. "That way you can discourage people from buying it."

"No way! I know it's good. Jess, you've got such a great brain. I knew that if you could just sit down and stop shaking it around, you could do something like this. I knew it. I knew it."

"I know you did." _Most of the time, at least._ "I work at that press now. Five smelly guys in a cramped room on Locust Street putting out about three books a month. But it's fun."

"What a about a sequel? Are you writing a sequel?"

She hadn't even read it, and she was already getting carried away. Jess wagered that she wouldn't be as excited once she'd finished reading.

"You should read it before you get too jazzed about it, okay?"

Suddenly, Rory hushed, tensing up. She listened intently for a few seconds, before she relaxed again.

"Sorry. I thought I heard footsteps. I think we're okay."

"It's kind of late. I should go," Jess said, and stood up. It was clear that she was not comfortable in this house, and he didn't want to make things more uncomfortable for her by getting her caught by her grandmother.

"It is kind of late," she agreed and followed suit.

"So, I just basically wanted to show you that. Tell you..." He hesitated. If he said this now, she would think it was a positive thing. Maybe it was. But there was no way that she'd think it was a compliment after she'd read all his bitter thoughts. Screw that, he decided, and carried on. "...tell you that I couldn't have done it without you."

"Thanks."

"I'm gonna be around for a couple days. Can we talk again? Preferably above a whisper?" Jess asked her, glancing at the door.

"Yeah. I'd like that," Rory replied. "How about tomorrow night?"

"8:00 okay?"

"Yep."

"Good. I'll sneak out on my own."

"Cool."

He walked over to the door, handed her the flowery pillow that had been their improvised silencer, and quietly opened the door. He was halfway out, when she spoke.

"Oh, hey, your book."

He looked at her one last time. Maybe she needed his harsh words to get out of this rut?

"Oh, it's yours," he said, then closed the door.

His hands were shaking as he quietly made his way through the corridors and out the front door. The gates squeaked as he opened up a crack big enough for him to slip through. Jess jogged to the car, got in, but was unable to leave for a minutes. He just sat there, head leaned up against the steering wheel, breathing in and out. He'd made it. They had made it through an entire conversation without anything going to hell. But this new Rory worried him. Yale was out of the picture, Lorelai was out of the picture. Everything she had ever dreamed of and loved was out of the picture by the looks of it. Jess decided to get to the bottom of this mess tomorrow.

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**A/N**: We decided to split up Jess's visit to Hartford, otherwise we'd have the longest chaper in the history of CP, and it would be almost too much to cram into one chapter, so drop a review and stay tuned for our take on the Logan-Jess-altercation!


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N- **Kassandra27 here and this is that chapter from hell, yes it contains the blond dick from Yale. I wanted to decapitate him, but I held back... for now. But maybe I'll get Jess to order a hit on him in a later chapter. Anyway enough of that for now, just get through this chapter and you wont have to deal with Logan again, except for a mention of him at the Truncheon open house thing... but don't worry we're a fair ways away from that yet.

**Disclaimer- **We don't own gg, but we did decide to write a Gilmore Girls movie because ASP won't and if she does she'll probably have Rory with some random guy, but alas I think we'd get sued, so probably not worth it. Though I'm sure we could convince Milo Ventimiglia to work on the movie with us regardless, haha, yeah I'm sure he'd go for that.

Enjoy

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Jess came back to the mansion after nightfall. He cautiously walked up the drive, relaxing slightly when he noticed no lights were on. He made his way over to the fountain in the middle of the driveway and picked up a few small rocks. He threw them, one at a time, at the second story window of Rory's room. Jess heard a noise and tried to duck for cover, unsuccessfully. He straightened up when he saw that it was just Rory coming out the front door.

"What are you doing?" Rory asked him playfully.

"I didn't know if it was okay to ring or not," Jess replied in a whisper, double checking that no one was around but them.

"She's not here," Rory told him smiling, she loved seeing Jess nervous.

"She's not?" Jess questioned skeptically, Emily Gilmore was always around, always. He still wasn't convinced, he was just waiting for Emily to jump out of one of the surrounding bushes and start disapproving.

"She's playing bridge tonight," Rory said, still trying to convince Jess.

"Good," Jess replied as he put the remaining stones in his hand back. "I parked on the street so she wouldn't see."

"You're very good at covert ops," Rory said. She loved that they could turn to playful banter before things got awkward.

"Years of practice," Jess played along, but then asked a question that would hopefully progress their night. "So where do you want to go?"

"I don't know," Rory replied. "I don't know the area that well."

"You live here," Jess told her in disbelief.

"I know, but Hartford's still a mystery," Rory tried to explain. "Even when I went to Chilton, I got right on the bus and headed home, so I don't even have any old high school hangouts to revisit. And these days I've just been eating here."

"Well," Jess said trying to come up with another option. "I just prefer not going someplace that has food in the title."

"Meaning?" Rory asked him confused.

"Olive. Chili. Soup," Jess expanded. "No gardens, no plantations."

"Got it. Something funkier," Rory suggested.

"Steer me to the college district," Jess told her. "I'll find us something funky."

"Sounds good," Rory said as she smiled.

They turned to walk towards Jess' car, just as Logan pulled up in his Porsche. Rory glanced nervously at Jess as Logan got out. Jess noticed this, looking questioningly at her. A Porsche? Really?

"Logan!" Rory said surprised.

"Am I interrupting something?" Logan asked looking between the two of them.

"No," Rory answered quickly. "Hey. When did you get back?"

"A couple hours ago," Logan answered still looking at Jess.

"Oh, I thought, I thought you were getting back tomorrow," Rory said nervously.

"Thought I'd surprise you, Ace," Logan said, and Jess scoffed at the nickname.

"Well, I'm glad you did, 'cause you get to meet my old friend, Jess," she said nervously as she turned towards Jess. "This is Logan, my boyfriend. Logan, this is Jess. He's in from out of town." Logan stared at him, and Jess smirked back. There was a long pause whilst Logan and Jess sized each other up. "Wow. That sounded so grown-up," Rory began to ramble. "We're at the age now where we say things like 'in from out of town' and 'old friend'. 'Cause when you're young, all your friends are new. You have to get old to have old friends."

Rory smiled and shook her head awkwardly. She never thought that she would be in a situation where she had to introduce her current boyfriend to her ex boyfriend. Logan stepped forward, his hand outstretched, and Jess shakes it.

"How you doing?" Logan asked Jess as he shook his hand.

"Okay," Jess answered as he pulled his hand away.

"We were just going to go grab a bite to eat," Rory told Logan.

"Great," Logan quickly replied. "Well, how about if we all go together, is that okay?"

Rory discreetly rolled her eyes, but Jess noticed and smirked at her.

"Okay by me," Jess answered. He wanted to be alone with Rory, but he also wanted to see if this guy was any good for her, but he was doubtful by what he had already witnessed.

"Good," Logan replied.

"All right," Rory said immediately disappointed. "Good. We were actually at a loss for where to go, so you actually saved us," she told Logan.

"Call me Superman," Logan joked whilst looking at Jess. "Why don't you follow us," he said as he put his arm around Rory and walked her to the passenger side, making sure there was no point for Jess to challenge him.

"Sure. Great," Jess answered.

"Come on," Logan said as he got into the driver's seat.

Jess stood there for a moment. Wondering if he should just skip this outing and catch up with Rory later. He rubbed his jaw and decided to go, he wouldn't let some jerk win, and he walked off to his car.

Jess followed them to a pub and scoffed at Logan's choice of venue. They made their way inside. Logan sat down and pulled Rory into the chair next to him, leaving Jess to sit down across from them. They ordered drinks and then the conversation started.

"I live pretty close," Logan stated. "I'd have had you over to check it out, but it's a bit of a mess."

" And you don't serve food, so we would've been starving at your place," Rory added teasingly.

"I've got appetizers," Logan defended Rory's comment. "A full bag of chips, just check the expiration date before you dive in."

"I'm good with this place," Jess answered before Logan could continue.

"A little pointer," Logan said leaning in closer to Jess. "Don't come on folk night."

"Yeah, I'm not a big fan of folk music," Jess replied.

"That's something we have in common," Logan said as he raised his glass and took a drink.

"Great," Jess replied sarcastically as he took a drink as well. Rory smiled at him apologetically.

"Where is a waitress?" Logan asked and she walked by. "Yo, yo. Right here. Uh, another McKellan's neat, and Jess, another brew?" Logan yelled out to her.

"Still working on this one," Jess replied, he didn't want to drink much tonight, he knew he needed a level head around this guy so that he wouldn't do something stupid.

"Another one," Logan said completely ignoring Jess. "Just in case."

"So, we should probably order," Rory suggested, trying to steer the conversation in another direction. "It's a big menu, so if you need guidance -"

"I'm not hungry," Jess cut her off before she could start rambling.

"You're not hungry?" Logan questioned Jess.

"Nope," Jess replied, he was ready to shut this guy off, he wasn't worth his time.

"Thought the whole point was you two were going to get something to eat," Logan said knowing he had caught Jess out.

"And talk," Rory defends.

" Well, yes," Logan Replied. "It's a given that you're going to talk while you eat. You know, the chef de cuisine will gladly make anything you want if nothing there appeals."

"The burgers are good here," Rory sighed as she leaned back in her chair.

" Maybe a burger," Jess relented, he was doing this for Rory, he was clearly seeing a major reason why Rory's life was fucked up.

"Get one of those fancy ones, too," Logan suggested. "It's on me, so don't let the price stop you."

"I'll pay for my own," Jess told him.

"Good man," Logan nodded and opened up his menu. "So how long have you two known each other?"

"A while," Jess answered off-handedly.

" You date?" Logan asked fishing for answers.

"Yes," Rory answered. "We used to date."

" Ah. No hemming, no hawing. Good course of action. So. Were you two high school sweethearts? Rock around the clock, two straws in the milkshake?" Logan asked.

"Logan," Rory warned whilst grimacing.

"Hey, did we cheers?" Logan asked raising his glass. "I don't think we cheered. That's bad luck. Let's cheers."

"I think we did already," Jess told him, getting annoyed. "Twice."

"Well, let's do it again. Cheers," Logan said waiting for Jess to respond.

Jess grudgingly lifted his glass and clinked it on Logan's. Rory half-heartedly lifted her glass as well.

"Cheers," Rory stated and they all take a drink.

"So. What do you do, Jess?" Logan asked.

"Oh, this and that," Jess answered he didn't want to give Logan any more information about himself.

"Describe the 'this'. Describe the 'that'," Logan pushed.

"He writes," Rory answered for him, feeling as though it was her job to stand up for him, especially seeing as he wasn't going to do it for himself.

"You write?" Logan questioned. "Impressive. What do you write?"

"Nothing important," Jess answered.

"He wrote a book," Rory answered for him once again and Jess could hear how proud she was of him.

"Oh," Logan said slightly taken aback, he didn't think that writing would equal to Jess having actually wrote a book. "You penned the great American novel, Jess?"

"Wasn't quite that ambitious," Jess answered playing with his glass, not drinking from it.

"So what are we talking here?" Logan questioned trying to find something he could use in his favor. "Short novel? Kafka length, or longer. Dos Pasos? Tolstoy? Or longer? Robert Musil? Proust? I'm not throwing you with these names, am I?"

"You seem very obsessed with length," Jess smirked at him, he knew that he was one up on Logan. He'd be surprised if Logan had even opened one of these books.

"I'm just trying to get a picture in my head, that's all," Logan replied.

"It's a short novel," Rory answered for Jess once again.

"Any good?" Logan asked Rory.

"I haven't read it yet," Rory lied, she didn't want to tell Logan how the book was basically a love story about her, if she could, she'd keep it far away from him.

"Yet?" Logan said to Jess. "Well, at least you're going to have one reader. That's something."

"Yeah," Jess sighed, he just wanted this night to be over with.

"You know," Logan started. "I should just write down all my thoughts and stuff that happens to me and conversations I have and just add a bunch of 'he said, she said's and get it published. You got a copy on you?" he asked Jess.

"No," Jess answered, even if the book wasn't solely about Rory, he'd still wouldn't want this jackass reading his book.

"You should send me a copy," Logan pressed.

"Sure," Jess answered, he was at breaking point now, this guy really was an ass, and he couldn't even comprehend why Rory was with him. "Where do I send it? The blond dick at Yale?"

"Jess," Rory reprimanded, but Jess could tell that she wasn't upset. It seemed as though Logan didn't though because he smiled at Jess.

Jess got up to leave, but Logan stands up and blocks his path.

"Whoa, whoa, we're just trying to keep it friendly, here, buddy!" Logan said baiting Jess.

"Get out of my way," Jess said pushing past him, he wanted nothing more than to punch him, but he knew that he was above that now, he knew it wouldn't change anything. He walked outside to cool off, and Rory ran after him.

"Jess, wait," Rory called after him and Jess turned to face her. "Jess, I'm sorry."

"We shouldn't have done this," Jess told her, he knew that as soon as Logan showed up, he wanted to say no, but his desire to spend more time with Rory won out.

"He's just in a bad way lately," Rory weakly defends.

"He's a jerk," Jess told her forcefully, hoping like hell that it would sink in.

"He was. In there, definitely," Rory accepted, but ignored the fact that Jess was telling her he was a jerk in general, not just tonight. "I'm so sorry."

"I read that guy the second I saw him," Jess said rubbing his head, this trip was turning out to be just as bad as he thought it would have been. "I should have begged off."

"Well, I didn't want you to," Rory told him truthfully.

"He'd better not come out here," Jess warned.

"Please, Jess. He had a lot to drink. He's tired from traveling. This isn't him. I swear," Rory tried to convince Jess and herself.

"What the hell is going on?" Jess all but snapped.

"I told you, he's tired! And his family's bugging him right now -" Rory said completely missing Jess' point.

"I mean, with you," Jess said more clearly this time to avoid confusion. "What's going on with you?"

"What do you mean?" Rory asked Jess stunned.

"You know what I mean," Jess accused. "I know you. I know you better than anyone. This isn't you."

"I don't know," Rory replied weakly.

"What are you doing? Living at your grandparents' place? Being in the DAR? No Yale - why did you drop out of Yale?" Jess asked her sternly, he couldn't believe that this was the same Rory he once knew. He could see her still in there, but she was buried fairly deep.

"It's complicated," Rory tried to argue.

"It's not," Jess told her firmly. "It's not complicated."

"You don't know," Rory said getting defensive.

"This isn't you," Jess said motioning to her. "This. You going out with this jerk, with the Porsche. We made fun of guys like this."

"You caught him on a bad night," Rory said still trying to defend her boyfriend.

"This isn't about him. Okay, screw him," Jess told her, desperately trying to get his point to sink in. "What's going on with you? This isn't you, Rory. You know it isn't. What's going on?"

"I don't know," Rory replied truthfully, she was starting to get it. She looked around, thinking, and she wrapped her jacket around her. "I don't know," she whispered, looking at Jess, who was staring at her.

"Okay, uh, maybe, maybe we'll catch up at a better time," Jess said as he reached out and rubbed her elbow, then turned to leave. He stopped at the gate and turned back. "Happy birthday, by the way. Wasn't that a couple weeks ago? Your birthday?"

Rory was shocked that he remembered and nodded slightly in confirmation. Jess smiled sadly at her and left. Rory watched him walk away, back out of her life again, but on slightly better circumstances this time.

Jess headed straight for his car and just drove. He wanted nothing more than to go back to the bar and knock Logan unconscious, but he held back, he had too much to lose now. Soon enough he'd be back in Philly and he wouldn't even have to worry about it. He had no idea where he was driving, he hoped that it was towards Philly, towards home, but it wasn't. He sighed when he saw the Welcome to Stars Hollow- sign, but he didn't fight it. He drove into the town, loving the quiet. Stars Hollow was always better when no one was around. He parked around the corner from the diner and ran around to the front. He grabbed the key from above the diner and was just about to unlock it when Luke opened the door.

"You're back?" Luke questioned.

"Momentarily," Jess answered as he walked into the diner, Luke closed the door behind him.

"I was just on my way home to Lorelai's, but do you, umm, want a beer?" Luke asked nervously shifting from foot to foot. He thought when Jess left the other day without saying goodbye that he wouldn't see him again for a long while.

"I'd love one," Jess said as he collapsed into a chair.

"Rough night?" Luke questioned him as he grabbed two beers and joined him at the table.

"Hmm, one word for you, Logan," Jess told Luke as he took a swig of beer.

"Yeah we've all been there," Luke said with a dry chuckle. "So was there any bloodshed?"

"No," Jess answered as he sighed, he really wanted to punch that guy.

"You've changed," Luke observed out loud and Jess raised an eyebrow, challenging him. "For the better," Luke defended. "The old Jess wouldn't have held back."

"Well yay for me," Jess replied sarcastically.

"So is there any particular reason you came back?" Luke questioned him.

"You know me Luke, never do anything without a reason," Jess said evading his question and Luke dropped it for now.

"Andrew stopped by this morning," Luke told Jess.

"Huh," Jess replied looking down at the table.

"He brought in a book, a book that you wrote," Luke said proudly and when Jess didn't respond he continued. "You wrote a book Jess, I'm so proud of you."

"Have you read it yet?" Jess asked Luke suddenly and Luke shook his head no. "Good, I mean you can read it if you want, but just wait until I'm in the next state over, okay?"

"Okay Jess, though I don't know if I'll get the chance," Luke told him and Jess looked at him confused. "Andrew's put your book in a glass case, in the front window, on display for everyone to see."

Jess sighed at the town's antics, they were still the same. He pulled a book out of his bag and gave it to Luke. "Here, but you didn't get it from me okay?"

"Okay," Luke answered distantly as he stared at the book, he still couldn't believe that Jess had wrote a book. "So did you see Rory? How'd it go?" Luke asked suddenly snapping out of his thoughts. "Is she coming home Jess?"

"I... I..." Jess faltered. He didn't know what to tell Luke. He took another swig of beer and sat it back on the table. "I think... Umm, I did all I could, Luke, the rest is up to her."

"Okay," Luke replied. "But what's your personal opinion, do you think she'll come home?"

"Luke, I can't answer that," Jess said sighing, he stood up, and pushed his chair in.

"Don't leave on my account," Luke pleaded Jess. "I won't ask you anymore."

"Luke, I can't stay, this was only a visit," Jess told him. "I know we're at a good place now but if I stay I'll ruin it, and it will ruin everything, so I'm just going to go. I'll call you when I get home, okay?"

Jess didn't wait for Luke to answer. He placed the spare key from above the diner door on the table and left without looking back. There was no doubt that he missed Luke, and if Luke didn't live in this crazy town he might visit more often, but now wasn't a good time, especially if Rory came home. He only came back to Stars Hollow tonight for two reasons, the first was to say a proper goodbye to Luke, which didn't go exactly as planned, and the second was that he wanted to see if Rory came home. He was hoping that she would have came home and Lorelai would have called Luke with the good news, but that was always a long shot, it would probably take Rory a while to get up the courage to move out of her grandparents house.

He took a quick drive around Stars Hollow, he wouldn't be back for a long while, and the town was nice when it was quiet. He was just heading out when by chance he caught a glimpse of Rory. He stopped the car and watched. He saw Rory get out of a car carrying a suitcase, and knock on a door. He smiled when he saw a sleepy Lane open the door and let Rory in without question. Rory was back home, and everything was right in the world again. Jess felt as though a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He pulled out his phone and typed a quick text message to Luke, _You're welcome_. He knew it would probably be a few days before Luke would know what it meant, but he was on cloud nine at the moment, he did what everyone else couldn't, he brought Rory home. He was happy, and he wanted to gloat, hence the text message. With a smile stuck on his face, Jess pulled out from the curb and headed off back home. The trip was a success after all.

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**A/N- **So review if you wanted Jess to punch Logan, and review if you didn't... next time I'll try reverse psychology, haha


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N**: Thank you to everyone who reviewed, especially Iscah McKrae, who wrote kick ass reviews and a kick ass story. Really, you should check out Iscah's story "Pay the Piper". Other than that, we're good here. Enjoy chapter 27!

**Disclaimer**: We don't own the Gilmore Girls-characters. Just Cammie, because who else would come up with someone as awesome as her?

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The trip back to Philadelphia took longer than Jess would've liked. He dutifully stopped in every major city and town, sought out independent bookstores and tried his best to pawn off a couple of copies of _The Subsect_. He was fairly sure that some of the owners only took the copy he offered just to get rid of him.

He came back, smelling like trains, smoke and travel. Reg was the only one home when Jess stepped into the apartment, and he greeted his quasi-friend absentmindedly before dumping his stuff on the couch, pulling out a towel from his duffel bag and hitting the shower. Despite bad water pressure and a temperamental water boiler, a shower had never felt as good. To Jess, it seemed as though he was washing away all the crap he'd experienced during his stint up north. Rory quitting Yale. Rory in the freaking DAR. Rory dating that pompous blond dick. All of it went down the drain and out of his immediate future. He'd done what he could, but Rory clung to the comfortable blindfold she'd tied over her eyes.

_I've done what I could_, Jess repeated in his head. _What I do best. Brutal honesty, it usually worked every time._

He'd pulled out the old trick, now the ball was in Rory's court. She'd made it to Stars Hollow at least, so maybe she'd make it home to Lorelai too. Jess realized, with some measure of surprise, that he had no obligations to Rory anymore. Sure, he'd never get rid of her. A girl like Rory don't just enter and exit your life quietly. The difference now was that he no longer felt a compulsive sort of need to be near her, to be part of her life, to... to screw things up. Maybe it was the shift in their natures, her being the more dressed-up version of his teenage rebel failure, and him being the accomplished, albeit fairly broke one that had brought about this epiphany. He made a note not to mention this to Cammie. The girl had, after all, at one point had plans on majoring in psychology.

Reg was gone by the time Jess had showered. He hadn't heard the door slam, but on the other hand, Jess had been miles away, pondering life without pathological ties to Rory Gilmore. He got dressed, unpacked his duffel bag, and... felt bored. Cammie wasn't expecting him back on the job until the day after tomorrow, and she'd just kick him out on his ass if he tried sneaking onto a shift. She had taken his meltdown absurdly seriously, and the negotiation to get her to agree to let him back after one week had gone on for well over an hour.

Jess looked out one of the dirty windows. The weather was nice enough, he had the day off... The tree in Clark Park hadn't gotten worn down by his back in a while. He gathered his keys, phone, wallet and a copy of a interesting-looking book he'd picked up from a bookstore in Newark, and headed out. The streets were familiar, the route marked clearly in his head. He turned onto South 43rd Street and soon passed the pizza place Matt and Chris always ordered pizza from at the corner of Pine Street. Soon he saw Clark Park, and hurried towards it. He orientated himself through the park towards the spot where he always read, where the little redhead girl had given him the kick in the ass he had needed to send in the manuscript. That tree was damn near lucky in Jess' book. Near being the keyword.

When Jess finally got to the opening where his tree was, he was only to stop dead in his tracks. There, sitting causally against it, was a couple having a picnic. For a few seconds, Jess was torn between walking away and walking up to the couple and getting them to leave. He snorted frustratedly and kicked up a tuft of grass, then turned around. He couldn't be a hothead anymore. No more town hoodlum. He was better than that, so he had been told. Not that it stopped him from getting irritated, but all the same. He was better than getting all worked up over a tree. He left Clark Park, and steered his steps towards _Stampede_. Cammie might stop him from working, but she still had to serve him as long as he was a paying customer.

Cammie was by the counter when he entered a moderately packed _Stampede_, and when she spotted him, her eyes went wild and she came thundering at him.

"No! No, no, no, no, no!" She boomed before Jess even had time to say hi. "Even if I have to kick you out head first and screw up my brand new boots, no!"

"Chill out!" Jess tried futilely.

"You can not come back to work yet, Jess!"

"Well, isn't this a case of the kettle calling the pot high-strung," Jess jeered, walking past Cammie and sat down by the counter.

"What are you doing here?" Cammie demanded, hot on his tail.

"Came by for coffee, but I might step in behind the counter just to piss you off.

"You wouldn't dare..."

"Please, as if that would be the most daring thing I've ever done."

Cammie stuck out her tongue at him and rolled her eyes as she served Jess his cup of coffee.

"So, how was your trip?" she asked, leaning over the counter next to him.

Jess took a moment to deliberate his answer.

"Disappointing. Cathartic," he finally replied, taking a sip of coffee. "Too long and all too short."

"Did you go see her?"

"Someone that looked like her, at least."

Cammie looked at him, then lowered her voice to a whisper:

"Had she been body snatched?"

Jess was in a good mind to say that the idea had crossed his mind, but that would only get Cammie stuck in _Body Snatchers_-land, and that was something he wanted to avoid. Instead, he told her about Rory, the dolled up, dead inside, DAR-hugging, blonde dick with a Porsche-dating copy of Rory that had led him into the Gilmore mansion and then soundproofed the door with frilly pillows so the terrifying Grandmonster wouldn't hear them.

"Wow..." Cammie commented in a low voice when Jess had concluded his recap of the trip. "So the girl had really gone dark side, huh?"

"Well, I think I managed to get her to go home. I saw her go visit a friend before I left Stars Hollow, so there's a pretty good chance she went to see her mom afterward."

"Look at that, Jess 'Here's my I don't give a shit-licence' Mariano actually gives a damn. There is hope for the human race after all."

"Shut up," Jess quipped between swigs of coffee. He tried punching Cammie's arm, but she dodged him.

"You did good, Jess. You got her to go home."

He nodded, feeling pretty good about himself. They were even now, him and Rory. This had to count for something, had to make up for at least some of the times she had been there for him.

"Hey, do you know any good parks nearby?" Jess then asked, changing the subject. He was very much a fan of the 'Rory Gilmore does not control me like I'm a robot'-mindset he was in right now, but lingering too long on their past could trigger a relapse. No need to push his luck.

"Why? Has Clark Park been body snatched, too?"

"No..." Jess said haltingly. "Some morons took my tree."

Cammie burst into laughter, and though Jess shot daggers at her, she wouldn't stop guffawing for several minutes.

"I'm sorry," she finally managed to squeeze out. "Did you just say someone took your tree?"

"Do I need to sock you? I have a tree, alright? I sit under it and read, and now there were two people having picnic under it when I got there."

"And you didn't ask for your tree back?" Cammie wondered, quite earnestly.

"Hi there, you're sitting under my tree," Jess said in a mock-cheerful voice. "Move over before I kick your sorry asses. Yeah, there's a winner. Really Cammie, you think I'd go up and ask two strangers to move from my tree?"

"Oh, there are so many ways I could use that against you..."

Jess sighed and drank the last out of the coffee mug, and pushed it to the side.

"Do you know any parks or not?" he asked tiredly.

"Well, there is Fairmount Park, but that's a bit out of your way. Clark Park is nice, too, but your, hrrm... tree is unavailable. Have you tried Malcolm X Park? It's a bit smaller than Clark Park, but still nice," Cammie answered, then added with a devilish grin: "It has some good trees."

"One more word, and I'm coming back there," Jess threatened, a glint of mischief in his eyes.

Cammie backed off immediately, going about her business in silence. Jess sat at the counter for a while before he paid and left, calling out goodbye to Cammie over his shoulder. Way back when he'd searched for a park to read (and at the time, write) in, he had passed Malcolm X Park. For some reason he couldn't remember, he had dismissed the park, but seeing as Clark Park wasn't an option today, he might as well check out the smaller park. Jess knew the park would be couple of blocks north of _Stampede_, and he decided to walk two blocks and then turn right onto South 52nd Street and then follow it until he saw the park.

He kept his eyes open as he walked. This wasn't a familiar route, one he knew by heart. At some point he had passed through here, but not often enough. He turned up on South 52nd Street, passing long rows of houses. When he was about to cross Cedar Avenue, something on the other side of the street caught his eye. It was a note in the window to an empty business. Jess crossed the street to take a closer look at the note. It was a note from one of the bigger real estate firms, informing that the business space was for rent or possibly for sale. Along with the street level space was an upstairs apartment, which the note said could be transformed into office space. Something struck a chord in Jess. Locust Publishing needed to take the next step. They should reincarnate or reinvent themselves or whatever. Their current offices didn't inspire any trust, and to pay rent for two places was nuts if you could have it all wrapped up in one place. Sure, it may need some work, but in that moment, Jess was sure it would be worth it. He pulled out his phone and snapped two semi-grainy pictures, one of the note and one of the immediate inside business space. He then continued his walk up South 52nd Street, but his destination was no longer Malcolm X Park. He needed to have a talk with the guys.

It turned out, the guys wanted to talk to him, too. They were all standing by the couch when Jess burst in, full of ideas for the place he'd spotted.

"Guys," he said excitedly. "I've got an idea, you so need to hear me out on this..."

"No, you need to listen, Jess Mariano."

The way Jake said his name, made Jess wary. He pulled back the excitement and looked at the group. Jake looked positively outraged, Reg had a serious look on his face, while Matt and Chris were blank.

"What?" Jess asked, observing Jake the closest, since he always was the one to get carried away.

"Something you want to tell us, Mariano? Something you forgot to mention?"

"Like what an ass you sound like right now? No, not really. But, I have an idea, well, a business proposition."

"Business. How ironic," Reg commented flatly.

Jess furrowed his brow.

"Okay, anyone wanna deal me in on the drama here, 'cause I'm in the dark," he said, looking from Jake to Reg to Matt and Chris.

"Like you've kept us in the dark, you mean?" Jake seethed, moving restlessly around the couch.

"Stop talking in riddles and spit it out, knucklehead!"

"You know, the mystery act would work so well with the press and the fans if you were a hotshot writer. For us, it's not so fun. You won't tell us anything, you've got that book that sends out mixed signals like a radio on crack, and whenever you're on the phone, you seem to be talking to nobody."

"So?"

"So, eventually it gets old. What gives, Jess?" Reg elaborated, crossing his arms.

"Back to riddles I see," Jess countered dryly.

That seemed to be it for Jake's patience.

"You're unbelievable, man! We know!" he lashed out venomously.

"That I'm unbelievable?" Jess had a sinking feeling that this would not end well.

"That you're a bona fide failure! You never finished high school. We've been taking freaking business advice from a freaking high school drop out!"

Though he had expected something fundamentally bad to follow Jake's outburst, this was not was Jess had expected. The words were like a sucker punch hitting him in the gut, and the only thought that spun in his head was "How?"

"You didn't think we'd find out?" Reg continued. "We've been trying to figure you out since you moved in, Jess. I checked your phone today while you were in the shower. Your last phone call went to someone named Luke, who works at a place named Luke's. I left, met up with Jake, and we started digging."

"You have no idea how many places there are in the U.S named Luke's, pal," Jake told him. "Fortunately for us, you mentioned you had been in New York, Connecticut and California, so we could ignore all the Luke's something-or-other in the rest of the country. Reg also remembered the name of that Wal Mart boss you called up for that job favor to Chris. Really, Jess, you should learn to be more vague when you save new contacts for your phone book. As it turns out, Bill Borden is the manager for Wal Mart in Hartford, Connecticut. Coincidentally, there's a Luke's Diner in a little town not far from Hartford."

Jess wanted to tell them to shut up, to stop. They obviously knew, why did they have to keep on going? Another part of him was frozen, unable to protest or leave.

"Stars Hollow High may be a small school, but they do have an impressive homepage," Reg mused, now turned to Jake, as if the two of them were having a normal conversation. "Curiously enough, Jess Mariano was nowhere to be found in the Graduates facebook. Class of '03, no Mariano. After some blonde named Lindsay Lister came someone named – wait for it – Charles "Chuck" Presby. For a moment, we thought you maybe never attended Stars Hollow high, but just to be sure, we called up the administrations office. They were most helpful."

"Jess... Did you really flunk out of high school?" Chris asked dully. It was the first thing he had uttered during this whole Jess-bashing.

All systems were telling Jess to fight, to go all primal and town hoodlum on them. He wanted nothing more than to yell at them about the medical experiment that was Stars Hollow, about the narrow-minded people who lived there, and the freaking Pledge of Allegiance in six different languages, and about Taylor and principal Merton. But none of it came out. The four guys standing in front of him were his friends, well, had been his friends, at least. Instead of unleashing hell, Jess simply shrugged his shoulders.

"High school and I didn't play well together."

"Didn't play well together?" Jake exploded. "You gave us business advice for Christ sake!"

"Hey, it's not like any of you have waved a Business diploma in my face," Jess retorted harshly. If there was any lingering trace of his 17-year-old self, it was his hypocrisy-intolerance.

The comment shut Jake up enough to get Jess out of the mental vice he had been stuck in. He stepped up, and quickly gathered as much of his stuff as he could in his duffel bag.

"What are you doing, man?" Matt asked, watching him.

"Someone's gotta go," Jess said simply. "It's easiest for everyone if it's me."

"Really, you figure?" Reg quipped sarcastically. "And where would you go?"

Jess gave him a dismissive look.

"As far as I'm concerned, that's none of your business." He turned to Matt and Chris as he zipped up his bag. "Thanks for everything. I'll come back for the rest of my stuff when Bernstein and Woodward here are at work. I'll leave my key when I'm done."

Without another word, Jess left the quartet behind, and headed out.

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**A/N**: Things are heating up. Leave a review to get another chapter. Kass has got some stellar ideas for the next chapter!


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N- **Kassandra27 here, sorry for the long wait, entirely my fault, but if I had written this ages ago then it wouldn't have turned out like it did, just saying.

**Disclaimer- **Yeah we don't own Gilmore Girls, but we own Cedar Park, Jess' true spin off show. Plus we own Cammie, Jake and Reg. We'd like to call Matt and Chris ours as well, but sadly we can't.

Enjoy

* * *

After being kicked out of the apartment Jess headed to the one place he knew he was still welcome, _Stampede. _Cammie wouldn't judge him, she didn't care that he hadn't finished high school, he knew that much for sure.

"Jess what are you doing here?" Cammie asked him in mock anger, "I told you that you don't start up again until tomorrow."

Jess dumped his duffle bag on the counter, to make sure that Cammie would notice it, and then sighed as he slumped down on a chair at the counter.

"Nice to see you again," Jess shot back sarcastically.

"What? You going for the new loner look?" Cammie asked him looking at his duffle bag, "because I'm pretty sure you need a backpack for that." Jess glared at her. "So what's the deal with the bag?"

"I go back to the apartment and I get ambushed... they kicked me out," Jess sighed, "well technically they didn't kick me out, I kicked myself out, though it's not like I had a choice in the matter."

"Hang on, back up the truck here," Cammie said completely confused, "they kicked you out... why?"

"Jake and Reg," Jess answered simply but Cammie gave him a pointed look. "They found out that I didn't graduate high school. To them it seemed as bad as committing murder, I don't know. Part of me is pissed, and part of me is glad to see the end of them."

"Them?" Cammie questioned concerned.

"Jake and Reg," Jess clarified, "Matt and Chris are fine, I mean they weren't exactly on my side, but they... looked sorry. I don't know. All I know is that now I'm homeless."

"Nonsense," Cammie said smiling, "you can stay with me as long as you like."

Jess eyed her suspiciously, "Really? You'd let me into your Fortress of Solitude, your Batcave, your Invisible Jet? I seem to remember that you didn't like anyone in your space."

"Well this is different, Jess," Cammie told him, "we're friends, and I know you, you'll try and find a place nearly immediately because you don't want to live with a girl. Plus you can reorganize my kitchen and cook me some of that heavenly lasagna."

"Where are you drawing these conclusions from?" Jess asked her confused.

"Jess do you want a place or not?" Cammie asked him flat out.

"Yes, thank you," Jess answered, "just until I can get back on my feet."

"Good," Cammie replied.

"Now," Jess said nervously, "can I pick up an extra couple of shifts here, as I doubt I'll be welcome at _Locust Publishing_ anymore, not that I was getting much money there anyway."

"Well you'll have to fight Jessie for them," Cammie told him, "she asked me for more shifts as well."

"Okay," Jess accepted, "what time do you get off, or can I go around to your place now?"

"You can go now if you want," Cammie said as she gave Jess her key, "just don't go touching anything."

"Yes, ma'am," Jess saluted sarcastically as he stood up and grabbed his bag, "Thanks for this, Cammie," he added sincerely.

"No problem," Cammie yelled after his retreating form.

Jess made his way to Cammie's apartment, which thankfully was only two blocks away. He walked inside, dropped his duffle bag near the couch and then stood there uncomfortable. He had never been in Cammie's apartment without her before. He didn't know what to do. He debated this for a few minutes before deciding to leave and come back when she was home. He walked up and around to the building he had seen earlier. The building really was perfect for _Locust Publishing_ to take it to the next level. _Locust Publishing_. Five smelly guys, he had told Rory. Five now became four with Jess on the outs. Jess didn't know what he was going to do about that. He knew that he could probably sway Matt and Chris, but Jake and Reg were probably already too far gone. Those two fed each other's insecurities, so if Jake was off the Jess-train then he would convince Reg too.

Jess sighed as he looked at the building, it sure did look professional. Just something about it told him that it was right, it was where they needed to be. Locust street, whilst not a bad street, wasn't high on foot traffic. This building was essentially on the corner of 52nd street and Baltimore Avenue, prime location, and as an added bonus only two and a half blocks away from _Stampede. _Jess' life had been turned upside down today, but he was sure of one thing, this was it. He needed to get this place. There was just something inside of him, this place, dare he say it, felt like home. He immediately pulled out his phone and dialled.

"What?" Luke grumbled, and Jess could hear that he was in the diner and that he was swamped.

He debated whether to hang up or not, but he decided not to, "Hey, Uncle Luke."

"Jess," Luke responded and Jess could tell that he had stopped still.

"Yeah it's me," Jess responded dumbly.

There was a long awkward pause before Luke spoke.

"Rory's home," Luke told him and Jess could hear the smile in his voice.

"I know," Jess answered. It was good to hear that Rory was back home and not just at Lane's, but he knew she would eventually.

"You know?" Luke questioned confused.

"Yeah, when I saw you last she was at Lane's, so I figured it was only a matter of time before she came home."

"So that's not why you called then?" Luke asked confused. He just figured Jess was calling to see if Rory had came home.

"No, actually," Jess replied nervously, he looked up at the vacant building once more, finding some courage. "You know that college fund you set up for me?"

"College fund?" Luke questioned playing dumb, he didn't even remember telling Jess about that.

"You sleep talk," Jess offered as an explanation.

"What?" Luke asked confused.

"One night, when I had to sleep on that raft at the foot of your bed," Jess explained, "my music stopped and I woke up, you were talking, saying that you were worried that I'd find out you had a college fund in my name and I'd run off with the money, then something about me burning it in front of you, I don't know, you lost me there."

"So you knew all this time?" Luke questioned confused. "Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you try and take the money? Why do you want it now?"

"Whoa, slow down," Jess said rubbing his forehead. "Well I wanted to ask you before I used it... get your permission, you know, and because... I need it."

"What do you need it for? I thought things were going great for you, you've got a book... are you in trouble?"

"What? No... well, not the kind of trouble you would think."

"Jess, just tell me."

"Okay, so I got home today."

"Jess, you left here over a week ago."

"I know. I stopped by several book stores in at least four different states just trying to get them to stock my book. It was a long week, but a successful week. Anyway so I get back today, and Jake just starts attacking me. It turns out that they found out that I didn't finish high school."

"Oh," Luke responded knowingly.

"Yeah, anyway they didn't think that I should be giving them business advice when I hadn't even graduated. They didn't care that I helped you out in the diner, didn't care that I worked at Wal-Mart, hell I had more work experience then all of them put together."

"Well, it's understandable," Luke responded.

"I know," Jess sighed, "if it was the other way around I would have kicked them out too, but I haven't steered them wrong. Their business has improved so much because of me... I thought they were my friends."

"They were, they are," Luke responded, "if they're your true friends they'll come back, they'll apologize."

"I guess."

"So?" Luke prompted.

"Well, they kicked me out of the apartment, and I'm guessing the business too. My friend Cammie is letting me stay with her for the time being."

"I'm failing to see why you need the money."

"I'm getting there, just hang on a minute," Jess replied amused. He could hear that Luke was still in the diner, and it sounded busy, but here Luke was just talking to him like nothing else mattered, it made him feel special. "So before they kicked me out I found this vacant building, and let me tell you Luke it's so perfect, it's just what we need to go from semi-known to full blown successful. I was actually going to tell the guys, but then they jumped me as soon as I got in the door, I never even got a chance."

"Okay, I'm with you," Luke told him. He could hear how excited Jess was, and this made him happy. "So, tell me more about this place."

"Well," Jess said looking up at the building one last time before sitting down on the steps, "it's on the corner of two busy streets, so high traffic. It's got a nice open floor plan which will be good for a book store, but also an office for our publishing business. Then upstairs there's an apartment, so we wouldn't have to rent two places anymore, we could just sleep where we work. Plus as an added bonus, Cammie owns a coffee shop which we frequent often and it's only two and a half blocks away from the new location, compared to the five plus blocks it is from Locust."

"Sounds promising," Luke responded, "Have you had a look through it yet?"

"No, not yet," Jess responded. "I wanted to call you first, check the funds, all that, make sure you were okay with it before I got too attached."

"It sounds like you're already attached."

"Well I am, it's just... I don't know Luke, this just feels right."

"Well, you can have the money, it is yours after all, but you have to promise me that you'll get a building check done, get them to check for mold, termites, check the electricity, water, gas, all that."

"I promise."

"I don't want you buying a money trap Jess."

"I won't. I promise I won't act impulsively... well, actually I probably will. The outside is good, but it's rundown inside so hopefully that will bring the price down considerably, and we're in Cedar Park, so the prices aren't that high yet."

"How much does it cost?" Luke asked.

"I'm not sure, I was going to call the realtor after I talked to you."

"Okay, well, call the realtor now, try and get the building checks done and call me back. I'll go to the bank and check out how much you have."

"Okay, thanks Luke."

"Sure kid, well get on it... Oh, and Jess."

"Yeah?"

"Thank you, you know, for everything you did for Rory, for Lorelai."

"Don't mention it, I'll call you back."

"Bye."

As soon as Jess hung up he called the realtor straight away. She seemed excited that someone was interested and she said she would be right over to show him around. Jess quickly called _Stampede _and asked Cammie which builder she used for the coffee shop. He wanted to get as much information on the building as he could so that he could report back to Luke. He called the builder, and after promising to pay extra, he made an appointment for the builder to come in half an hour. Jess sat there half excited and half nervous, this could be the start of something new, something special, something that was all his.

"Hi, Jess Mariano?" a middle aged woman asked as she ran up the steps and broke Jess out of his thoughts.

"Yes, that's me," Jess reached out and shook her hand. She eyed him skeptically, he looked so young.

"Okay, well, follow me," she unlocked the door and ushered Jess in.

She began spurting off all these facts about the building. Jess just tuned her out and took it all at face value. The first floor was an open space, which worked well as they could do what they wanted with it. Then there was a staircase off to the side that lead upstairs. Upstairs wasn't that big, but there were three medium sized bedrooms, a decent sized living room, one bathroom, and a separate kitchen. Either way it would be enough room for three people to live comfortable, and as a bonus it was a little bigger than the apartment on Locust, and it wasn't run down like that apartment was, so it was a step up already.

They went back downstairs just as the builder arrived. Jess greeted him and he got straight to work. The realtor liked that Jess had gotten a building inspection already, she could tell he was really serious about this, despite his age. She immediately went into prices. The difference between renting as opposed to buying the building. Once again Jess only took everything she said at face value. He knew that all this was just another sale to her, commission. She didn't care if she was selling him a money trap. The builder came back and informed Jess that the building was structurally sound, and that it was in good shape for a building of its age. He did tell him that a few braces and beams needed to be fixed downstairs, but everything was fine upstairs. He just needed to make the downstairs safer with more support beams, just to be safe. Jess paid the builder and sent him on his way.

"So what do you think?" the realtor asked him.

"I'm interested," Jess replied, "do you mind if I make a phone call."

"No, go ahead," the realtor answered, "I'll be outside."

She all but ran outside and Jess saw her light up a cigarette. He grabbed out his phone and dialed Luke's.

"Jess?" Luke answered.

"Yeah, Luke, it's me."

"So, how'd it go?"

"Good. The apartment is a little bigger than where I'm staying now, or was staying, and that was with five guys. So for just me, and secretly I'm hoping that I can convince Matt and Chris to come with me on this venture, then it should be fine. Downstairs is good. It's a decent size, bigger then I suspected. I called a builder and he told me that the upstairs was fine, but the downstairs needs some more support beams put in. He said structurally it's fine, but just to be on the safe side. I think it's good. I think it's a gem. I can't let it go Luke. If it fails it will be on me, but I'm willing to take that risk."

"Okay, so what are the prices?" Luke asked.

"Well there's the option to rent or to buy," Jess explained. "to rent it's a $10,000 dollar deposit and then around $600 dollars a month rent, but you get the deposit back when you leave. To buy it outright is $60,000. Plus you've got to add on all the building expenses, and then everything else needed to turn this building into a business."

"What are you thinking Jess?" Luke asked him.

"Well I'd rather buy than rent, but $60,000 dollars is way too much money, but on the other hand if I make a successful business then I want it to be in the same location, so say it takes a year and a half to achieve that, well that's another $10,000 dollars in rent, so $20,000 dollars and then I decide to buy the building, which knowing the prices it will probably rise to over $60,000. So we're already looking at $80,000 plus dollars. Though there is a small piece of me that is thinking of how much I will lose if this doesn't work out."

"You've got to look at it this way, Jess," Luke told him, "if you own the building and things don't take off well then you can sell the building and make back what you paid for it, if not more. Think of it as like an investment, and yes, some investments can turn bad, but it might not. What are your expenses now?"

"Well, me personally, I'm splitting the rent between four others, well was, but that was $25 dollars a week, plus utilities and seeing as we didn't have a TV and no one but me could cook was only about $10 dollars each. I paid for food and coffee at Cammie's which is probably my biggest expense because it was convenient, $50 dollars a week after staff discount. We all contributed as much as we could from our paychecks to help out _Locust Publishing_, which I contributed at least $50 a week. And I think that's about it, oh and laundry costs, but that only works out at about $5 a week."

"Okay," Luke said trying to work it all out, "so we're looking at a weekly total of $140 dollars, how much do you get paid atyour job?"

"It varies, but I'm part-time so about $300 give or take."

"Okay well the good news is that's only half your money wasted on expenses. Is _Locust Publishing_ bringing you in any money?"

"Hardly, and what we do make goes right back into the business."

"Okay, and the other half of your paycheck, where's that go, and please don't tell me you spend it on beer and hookers."

"No, Uncle Luke. I've been saving it all."

"Okay so how much do you have saved up?"

"I don't know, a couple of thousand, no more than five. Plus I have some in Cali that I can get Jimmy to send to me. Put them together and it would probably be close to $10,000."

"$10,000?" Luke questioned surprised.

"Yeah, well, Jimmy didn't make me pay rent, and they ordered pizza a lot, so my only expenses were things like books and cd's, so I saved it all."

"Why do you have your money all over the country?" Luke questioned confused. "I mean you have I'm guessing about $7,000 in California, a couple of grand in Philadelphia, and I have $37,000 for you here. Are you sure you don't have any in New York?"

"$37,000?" Jess questioned Luke confused, "You've got to be kidding me."

"Says the guy who has $10,000 dollars saved up?" Luke shot back, "and I'm not joking, I've been adding to your 'college fund' since you were born, and even still do now, just a force of habit I guess, anyway combine that with 22 years interest and you have $37,000 dollars."

"Wow," Jess responded.

"Yeah, so that's what $47,000 dollars you have already, plus... well I'm willing to give you the rest."

"No, Luke, please, you've done enough already."

"Please Jess, let me do this for you. You deserve this, and I agree with you, it'd be better if you owned the building outright, that way it'd be yours. So I'm going to give you $20,000 dollars."

"No, Luke, that's too much. I only need $13,000 to make it to $60,000," Jess told him.

"Plus you need money for renovations," Luke told him, "this will give you a start until you can save up more, plus I don't think you'll be able to live with this girl Cammie for too long, or well any girl for that matter."

"Yeah," Jess agreed, "Thanks Luke."

"No problem."

"Here's my bank account information," Jess told Luke as he gave it to him and double checked that he had it right. "I'll call Jimmy and get him to wire me the rest of my money. I want to make a move on this building quick before someone else gets it."

"I'll do it straight away for you Jess."

"Is that Jess?" Jess heard Lorelai ask. "Let me talk to him."

"Jess, Lorelai wants to talk to you," Luke said nervously.

"Umm, okay, sure," Jess responded.

"I'll go to the bank now for you, here," Luke said as he handed the phone to Lorelai.

"Jess," Lorelai spoke.

"Lorelai," Jess responded.

"So you're in Philadelphia now? That's cool. Have you ran up the Rocky steps yet?"

"Umm, no," Jess was trying to figure out what Lorelai wanted.

"Well don't, okay, Luke and I will come down sometime, and at the very least you can watch me run up and down them, okay?"

"Okay?"

"Umm, Jess?" Lorelai said nervously.

"Yes," Jess responded finally understanding everything, Lorelai was trying to thank him for Rory's homecoming. He didn't need to be thanked, he just did what anyone would do, what Rory would have done for him, what Rory did for him.

"I... I think I misjudged you," was all Lorelai supplied, but this meant way more than any thank you. "Well bye, stay safe."

"Okay, I will, bye," Jess hung up the phone. Weird. All in one day: he returns to Philly. Someone steals his tree. He finds a vacant building. He finds a new park. He gets kicked out of the apartment and _Locust Publishing_. Cammie gives him a place to stay. He calls Luke. He's $67,000 dollars richer. Lorelai... apologized. And he had a new apartment, a new business, a new home. "Shit," Jess muttered as he remembered the realtor. He quickly ran outside but she was gone. There was a note stuck to the door, '_Lock up for me, and if you're interested give me a call_.' Jess locked up and quickly dialed the realtor, he said he was getting the funds together as they spoke, and she agreed to take the place off the market for a week whilst Jess got the funds together.

Jess closed the phone and literally jumped in the air. If Lorelai had asked him right then he probably would have ran up the Rocky steps with her. He was that happy. He was on cloud nine. Life was suddenly heading in Jess Mariano's direction. He didn't have anyone to answer to. He wasn't trying to please anyone. He was just being himself, and he loved that most of all.

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**A/N- **Send us a review readers, you know you want to.


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N**: Hello again all you awesome readers! Thank you for your reviews and for returning. It's Pia writing, and I'm feeling pretty happy now (just hit 20 pages on my Master's, which makes me all kinds of happy), and what better way to keep feeling happy than posting another chapter of CP? I'm sure there are some errors in this chapter regarding the American banking system, but we tried our best to make it sound believable. Enjoy the chapter!

**Disclaimer**: We don't own Gilmore Girls, only Cammie. She is awesome.

* * *

"Okay, you need to tell me what's going on here, Jess. You've been all smiles and giddiness all day, and it's freaking me out!" Cammie told Jess accusingly as they were having their lunch break at _Stampede_.

Jess hadn't told anyone about the business space he was buying. Although everything pointed to the place being his in just one short week, he didn't want to jinx it by telling anyone else before all the papers were signed. Tomorrow he'd go to the realtor's office to hash out the details. He called Jimmy yesterday, asking him to wire all the money he had saved up in California. And Luke should have wired him the college fund-money by now, so Jess could swing by the bank to get a bank statement on his way home later. He had also spent the night making notes of all the things he could use to haggle over the price. The ground floor, especially the support beams were a big issue, because the repair costs would come out of his own pocket.

"Hello? Are you even listening to me?"

Jess looked up at Cammie, and gave her a crooked smile. This would drive Cammie nuts, and part of him found it strangely satisfying to see her face all scrunched up and irritated.

"Maybe I've found my happy place," he suggested.

"Please, you're like any other man on this planet, you can't find your way anywhere because you are too damn proud to ask for directions," Cammie snorted. "Now tell me!"

"You really need a girlfriend, Cammie. You can't live vicariously through me and Jessie for the rest of your life."

He could tell Cammie was on the verge of giving an acidic reply to that, but she held her tongue.

"Have you talked to... to the guys yet?" she asked instead.

"Nope," Jess replied curtly. He was in no mood to talk about his former roommates. "I brought my duffel bag, so I'm going over after my shift to get the rest of my stuff. No one should be home."

It wasn't really a lie. If he hurried, the apartment on Locust Street would be empty, since all four should be at work. He could slip in, get the rest of his belongings leave the key and leave without having to confront either one of the guys.

"Don't worry, it's not much," he said when he saw Cammie open her mouth to say something. He was sure it was to complain about him dragging all of his things to her place, but in case it wasn't, he didn't want to hear the sermon about making up with the guys which was most likely to come out of Cammie's mouth.

"You know I don't care."

"Fine."

"God, you're impossible..."

"Noted."

The rest of the day went by in the same monosyllabic fashion until Jessie turned up for her shift. Jess hastily packed up in the back and was out the door before Jessie had even changed and stepped in behind the counter.

"I'll see you at home!" Cammie yelled behind him, but he didn't reply.

He half-ran up South 49th Street until he turned onto Locust Street. Only then did he slow down to a walk, assured that his race had saved him some more time. The apartment building soon came into view, and he again quickened his pace. He flew up the flights of stairs until he was standing in front of the apartment door. He hesitated a second before he unlocked the door.

"Hello?" he called out. No answer.

Quickly, he was inside, moving around the apartment, picking up the things he recognized as his and stuffed them in his duffel bag. Mostly, it was books, a few cd's he'd bought from the record store where Jake worked, and odd stuff he hadn't managed to get his hands on when he left the other day.

Jess had almost collected all of his remaining belongings when he heard something that made him freeze up; keys rattling outside the door, followed by the familiar clicking and thudding of someone unlocking it.

'Please, don't let it be Jake or Reg...' Jess had time to think before the door swung open.

"Jess?"

He felt relieved, it was Chris and Matt. If he had to run into any of them, he'd rather run into Matt and Chris than any other combination of the four guys. Jess turned and nodded at them, then continued packing.

"Hi... um... I... We didn't think you'd be back for your stuff so soon," Matt said, trying to strike up a conversation.

"The sooner the better," Jess replied, almost automatically.

"Where are you staying?" Chris wondered and Jess thought he detected concern in Chris' voice.

He pondered telling them the truth, but really, there was no reason to drag Cammie further into this by saying he was staying with her. As soon as the papers were signed and the utilities fixed and turned on, he'd move into the new place. Then, maybe, would he try talking to Matt and Chris.

"Look, I just came to get my things," Jess replied, ignoring the question. He zipped up the duffel bag, slung it over his shoulder and turned around. Matt and Chris were blocking the doorway.

"Jess, come on! I'm not saying we're not a bit annoyed with you, but can you at least give us some peace of mind and tell us you're not sleeping on the streets," Matt pleaded.

"I'm not sleeping on the streets."

"You know, we checked out that park bench on Spruce yesterday, you know, to see if you were roughing it like that first night," Chris said, smiling.

"I told you," Jess said pointedly, trying not to think of that night when he'd slept on the good bench on Spruce. "I'm not sleeping on the streets. I've got my things, and I should go."

He walked up to them and pushed past to get out. He heard Chris trying to protest.

"Key's on the coffee table," Jess said over his shoulder as he began descending the stairs. "Thanks again for everything."

The run-in with the guys effectively put a damper on his bright day. Getting the bank statement took a minor eternity, and traffic was crazy on his way home. When he got home, it took Cammie all of two seconds to look at him, and then resignedly point out his bad mood.

"What's up? Someone steal your mojo?" she asked him from the couch that was Jess' night-time bed.

He hadn't missed the irony of having moved from one couch to another, and wondered if there was a bed with his name on it somewhere in his future.

"I ran into Matt and Chris at the apartment," he said, deciding to be truthful.

"Oh..." Cammie immediately turned off the tv and sat up straight. "How'd that go?"

"I dunno... But we didn't hug it out, so don't even think of asking."

"Jess, you should talk to them, all four of them. I know they can be a bit stubborn, especially Jake and Reg, but if you just explain everything..."

"No," Jess interrupted hastily. "I will not mess this up any more than I already have."

"Matt and Chris are reasonable guys. You've seen them. They're not the kind of people to hold grudges," Cammie tried coaxing, clearly in an attempt to appeal to some softer side she thought he had.

Jess looked at her and shook his head. Sure, Matt and Chris could be reasonable, grudge-free guys, but as long as them, Jake and Reg were a package deal, Jess suspected they wouldn't be friends again anytime soon. Still, part of him wanted at least Matt and Chris back. The two of them had really come to appreciate the publishing business, whereas Jake spent increasingly more time working at the record store, and Reg (although having been crucial in spreading their published works at the campus bookstore) now had a more Jessie-centric worldview. If only there was a way to get Matt and Chris to leave Jake and Reg behind. Jess sighed, pushed aside his thoughts on the future, and watched tv with Cammie for the rest of the evening.

The next morning, he felt oddly jittery. He had never been the type to get overly nervous, but on the other hand, he was buying an apartment today. He made up a story to Cammie about having to go out, took the things he needed and left. The realtor had her office downtown, and the bus ride felt like he was heading towards his doom. He went over his strategy in his head, repeating silently as he walked the last block from the bus stop to the realtor's office. Stopping outside the glass door, Jess took a deep breath. He could do this. He would dive in, head first, and hope he wouldn't hit the shallows. Turning around was not an option. Grabbing the metallic door handle, he stepped inside, ready for whatever was waiting for him.

It turned out to be a bit more complicated than he'd thought. There was the matter of discussing his background, his current situation, his plans for the place. He was a bit worried that it would look bad that he didn't actually live anywhere at the moment. The realtor asked if he'd been in Philly long, and he answered that he'd been here a little while, staying with friends, but that he wanted a place of his own. The realtor accepted his explanation, and they moved on. They talked about the place itself, haggling over the price. Jess managed to get the price down to $ 50,000 on account of overall state of the place and the support beams he'd need to put in.

So far, he was keeping up. Then came the hard stuff, things like down-payment, mortgage, escrow and interest. Jess tried his best to keep up, but somewhere along, his head just got lost in the terminology. He kind of wished he could've had Luke with him. Still, he got the gist of what the realtor was saying, and he signed the papers, wrote a check for the down-payment and they agreed on a plan for the mortgage. He got a set of keys, and information on how to get water, heat and other utilities turned on. Officially, he couldn't move in until next week, but the place was his. He had a space that was his own.

Jess's head swam as he exited the office. He texted Luke about it, but didn't get a reply. He wondered if Luke even knew how to read a text message. Jess desperately wanted to talk to someone, so he called the last, well, next to last, person he'd ever thought he would contact.

"Hello?"

Liz sounded just like she always did, like she'd been smoking all her life (which she probably had, at least for a while...). Still, she sounded happy, and Jess couldn't help but smiling. Maybe that TJ was a good guy after all, despite the Etch-A-Sketch and his weird fondness for tights.

"It's Jess," he began, not entirely sure if he should say Liz or Mom.

"Jessie!" Liz exploded with joy. "Oh, I'm so glad to hear from you! Luke told me you had been in town."

"Just a short visit, passing through actually."

"You shoulda come by, visit me and TJ, we live here now, y'know."

"I had a tight schedule," Jess lied, feeling a pang of guilt.

"Is it true what Luke said?" Liz began asking.

"Probably not," he blurted out before he could stop himself.

"So you're not in Philly?"

"Oh, that. Yeah, I'm in Philadelphia. Been here for a while."

"That's good. Luke said you were working, living with a bunch of guys. Said you'd written a book," Liz said, and there was no mistaking the pride in her voice. Jess didn't have the heart to correct Liz about the living situation.

"I did..." he replied evasively.

"Y'know, I've been trying to get Andrew to let me buy or at least borrow your book, but he's so stubborn. He's got it locked up in a bulletproof case, did you know that?"

"Luke said he kept it in a glass case."

"He upgraded it when Taylor started lookin' all sneaky and shady. Anyway, you shouldn't be surprised, Jess. It's Stars Hollow. Nothing's too crazy here."

"Yeah, I know. Look, I just... I called to say I'm fine. I just bought a place and..."

"You bought a place? What place?" Liz demanded excitedly.

"It's a place, you know... For living in, possibly running a business in, too."

Liz got so excited about this she spent a good ten minutes squealing and commending him for having come so far. In truth, Jess felt like he had come a long way only to double back and end up where he first began. He hastily said goodbye to Liz, and began walking toward the bus stop. He thought again about Matt and Chris. They had had some good times together, and Cammie was right, they weren't the kind to hold grudges. He needed to do something to gain their trust and respect back, so they would take him seriously when he talked to them about the new place.

A round of laughter pulled him back to reality, and Jess looked around. A few yards ahead, two guys and three girls were walking out in front of him, laughing and talking. Jess looked around some more and spotted the Community College of Philadelphia. That would make the girls and guys ahead of him students. He had never gotten the big deal about school. Sure, he liked learning stuff, but the American educational system could not take credit for much of his knowledge. Mostly, he was self-taught, and had found it worked best for him. The hierarchy of the classroom annoyed him; teachers who wouldn't accept any other perspective than their own, the way everyone else seemed to just accept it, no questions asked. Rory had...

He stopped, wondering if this was the best time go down the 'Rory had said'-path. It used to take his mind to places he didn't like, and he never quite understood why he kept following it. He had managed to keep away from it for some time now, but today, he simply couldn't fight it. Rory had said he had a first-rate mind. Okay, there it was. Hadn't he already proven that fact by writing a book? She had thought so, but Rory was not the one he needed, or particularly wanted, to impress now. The easy way would be to finish high school. It would also be like rolling over and saying "I give up". He didn't want to go back to school, he couldn't take the brain numbing lessons and homework.

As he passed the steps that led up to the community college entrance, he noticed a large sign on the double doors, which read in bold letters: GED-prep info week.

GED. It was as if a bell had rang in his head. A GED was equivalent to a high school diploma, and he really didn't need to attend any of those prep courses. He'd have to brush up math, science and social studies, and then simply take the test. Jess weighed his options, and then decided. He might have to spend some time on cramming for the test itself, but it would be in his own time, in his own way. GED it was. He quickly raced up the steps, entered the building, and began searching for the administration's office.

* * *

**A/N**: And there it is! Leave us some love. You can also go on YouTube and check out the two trailers we've made:

1) http:/www. youtube. com/watch?v= UtStyV1ubHY (remove spaces)

2) http:/www. youtube. com/watch?v=CB3y3hTB2gM (remove spaces)


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N**: It's Pia here again. Kass wrote this chapter in record time, but her Internet has decided not to play nice, so she asked me to post it for her and tell you that she takes full responsibility for any errors there might be in the math. None of us is really good at math, and we don't have a Charlie Eppes to correct it for us... Enjoy the speedy update!

**Disclaimer**: Gilmore Girls is not ours. Cammie is, though, and Jessie's slowly becoming an original character. Fun fun fun!

* * *

"Jessie, Jessie, Jessie," Jess said excitedly as he came tearing into _Stampede._

"You are on crack," Jessie replied, turning to face him.

"What?" Jess asked her confused.

"Cammie told me that you're doing drugs, personally I didn't believe her, but now-"

"I'm just happy, can't I be happy?" Jess asked her.

"Moody, scowling, hates the world Jess... No, you can't be happy."

"Very funny, but I did actually come here for a reason."

"Okay, Cammie's out back smoking."

"Cammie's smoking?" Jess asked in disbelief.

"I think so, she's stressed that you won't tell her why you're so happy, she's becoming paranoid."

"Okay, I'll fix that. But first, I came here to talk to you."

"Oh really, well aren't I special."

"So I've just started... a project, and I need a little time off from _Stampede_, and I heard you were interested in some more shifts, so I was wondering if you wanted to take a few of mine this week."

"Umm, yes, of course I will," Jessie said excitedly.

"Good, and thanks Jessie, I'll owe you one."

"It's really no problem, Jess."

"I could kiss you right now you know, I'm just that happy," Jess said grinning like a mad man.

"Whoa, settle down Jess."

"Yes, settle down," Reg spoke coldly from behind them.

Jess turned around as soon as he heard Reg's voice.

"Reg. Jake," he said flatly

"Jess," Reg growled back as he stepped protectively towards Jessie and put his arm around her, drawing her close to his body. This reminded Jess of all the times Dean had done this to Rory, to try and warn him to stay away.

"Thanks again Jessie, but I better get going," Jess spoke, wanting to avoid a confrontation.

"Once again Jess, it was no problem."

Jess smiled at Jessie before leaving _Stampede_. He stopped out the front and looked back in. Reg pushed Jessie away from him and it appeared as though he was yelling at her. Jess looked at Jake who was trying to disappear without Reg knowing. Jess pulled out his phone and texted Cammie: _Stop smoking and get back into Stampede NOW_. Jess waited until he saw Cammie approach them and pull Reg's arm behind his back, before leaving again. He walked back to Cammie's and pulled out all the textbooks he had borrowed from the library.

The admin officer at the college had told him that he could take his GED tests as soon as he had registered himself as a resident of Pennsylvania, after which he could take the tests whenever he was ready. He'd filed the necessary papers the same day and was told it would take apporiximately a week before it had worked its way through the system. Jess had then gone to the library and borrowed a huge stack of books. English would not be a problem. Frankly, he'd be surprised if he didn't get a near-perfect score. But now, looking at the math textbook in front of him, he was beginning to think that this was a mistake, he had never gotten the hang of math, he just couldn't see the point. He sighed and closed the book, then reopening it minutes later. He was serious about getting his GED, so he would learn math even if he lost his will to live in the meantime.

Two minutes later the book closed again. Jess sighed. He needed himself a tutor, all of which made him think entirely too much of Rory. He didn't even know if Rory was good at math, she must have been half decent to get into Yale, but he highly doubted that she would tutor him now. He wasn't even sure that he wanted her to. Last time they met, he yelled at her. She wasn't his Rory anymore. He didn't feel the need to be with her, he didn't feel the need to do something stupid in the name of love. All he had wanted was to do was show her his book, show her that he had made something of himself, and to get her life back on track because she did the same thing for him on countless occasions. They were even now. Jess didn't feel as though he owed her anything. But for now he was still stuck on the math, with no viable answers. He picked up the textbook and threw it into his backpack before heading back to _Stampede. _As soon as he entered he picked the booth right at the back, dumped his backpack on the seat next to him, before dropping his head onto the table.

"What's up with you and your mood changes?" Cammie asked as she approached him.

"What's up with you and smoking?" Jess shot back, head still plastered on the table.

"Ooh, touchy. Come on, Jess, open up to me," Cammie pleaded.

"No."

"Why? Is it about what's-her-name?" Cammie asked.

"You know her name, and no."

"Okay, we're narrowing it down."

"Math, okay? I need help with math." Jess said as he lifted his head off the table and glared at her.

"That so does not answer any of my questions about how you have been acting lately... Except it further confirms my drug theory. Okay, so math, what's your problem with math?"

"Oh, I don't know, the part where the numbers get involved."

"As much as I like our riddle-filled conversations, you're going to have to give me a little more to go on here Jess, or I'm going above you and I'm calling up the state mental hospital."

"Okay," Jess sighed.

"Okay, really?" Jess nodded his head. "Yes! Jessie I'm going on break," Cammie called out to Jessie. "Can we talk here or does it need to be somewhere more private?"

"Here is fine," Jess responded.

"Okay, good," Cammie said sitting across from Jess, but leaning halfway across the table like she was about to be let in on something that was of national security.

"I bought a place," Jess said as he fiddled with the sugar packets on the table.

"Why the hell are you living with me then?" Cammie asked him confused.

"Just let me talk, or I'll leave," Jess warned.

"Okay, go ahead."

"So I bought a place, an apartment with a business space," Jess could tell Cammie was trying to hold her tongue. "I can move in after the weekend. I've also decided to get my GED, in hopes... umm, in hopes that I can prove to Matt and Chris that I've changed, that I can be trusted. So they'll leave Jake and Reg... so that we can start our own publishing business together."

"Oh, you conniving little-"

"Cammie," Jess warned.

"Sorry. Wow, you have been busy haven't you? You do realize that those four guys have been together since high school, right?"

"I know," Jess responded.

"And you think that you're special enough to break them up?" Cammie asked him.

"I do."

"You're crazy."

"I'm aware, but that isn't my problem, though. I need help with the math," Jess pulled the textbook out of his bag.

"Okay, so what part?" Cammie asked him.

"And I repeat, the part with the numbers."

"Okay, so what seems to be your problem, other than the numbers? You're smart, Jess, you should be able to get this."

"I just don't understand why I need to know this to get my GED."

"You're not serious are you? ...Okay, you are. Jess, we all use math every day," Cammie told him.

"Yeah, so? That's like addition, subtraction, I can do that. I don't see why I need to know... trigonometry."

"Oh, Jessie, come here," Cammie called out as she smiled mischievously.

"In a second," Jessie called back.

"Is that wise?" Jess asked Cammie quickly, "the last time I spoke to her... well, Reg didn't seem too happy about it."

"Oh, I handled that," Cammie told him.

"That's it?" Jess asked her confused. Reg and Jessie had been in a full blown argument, he didn't think that it could have been handled with just Cammie's brute force.

"No, but it's not my place to tell you."

"Okay, what can I do for you?" Jessie asked Cammie.

"You did well at math according to your job application," Cammie told her.

"I did."

"Well, I need you to take Jess here to Malcom X Park and teach him the value of a hypotenuse by making him run."

"A hypotenuse? Running?" Jess asked fearfully.

"Oh, I am so in," Jessie said smiling.

"What are you making me do?" Jess asked confused as he flipped through the math book quickly, trying to find the trigonometry section.

"Oh, no you don't," Cammie said as she took the book off Jess. "Jessie's going to show you how trigonometry applies to your everyday life. And I think you'll thank me for this one."

"Let's go," Jessie said excitedly as she pulled Jess out the door.

They made it to the park not long later, and the first thing Jess noted was that it appeared to be a good choice for his next reading park.

"Okay, let's get straight into it," Jessie said and pointed to a tree a few yards in front of them. "We're going to call that tree 'A' and you see that tree over there," she pointed to a tree a fair distance away. "well, that's 'B'."

"Okay, why are they called 'A' and 'B'?" Jess asked her confused.

"Not important," Jessie told him. "But let me simplify it for you, we'll call that tree _Tom Sawyer_ and we'll call the tree over there _Huck Finn_. Now you want to get to Tom and Huck because you're excited to go on their next adventure, understand so far?"

"Yeah," Jess responded only half confused.

"So I want you to run first to Tom and then to Huck."

"Sounds simple enough," Jess replied, "but I'm not running."

"Yes, you are, it's all about getting to Huck as fast as you can," Jessie explained. "Don't worry, no one's watching you."

"I don't like to run," Jess protested.

"If you don't do it here, then I will not hesitate to take you to the Philadelphia Museum of Art and we can do it there."

"Okay, fine, we'll do it here," Jess relented. There was no way he was running anywhere near the Rocky steps with Jessie watching him. He looked around just to make sure no one was watching, and thankfully it was a quiet day. He looked at Jessie again who smiled encouragingly, and after one last sigh he began running. He quickly skirted along the trees, effectively running a right angle, from Tom to Huck. "Now what?" Jess yelled across the park.

"Now get back here the fastest way possible," Jessie yelled back.

Jess sighed before taking the same route back.

"I really don't see how me running has to do with math," Jess said slightly out of breath.

"Are you really that dense?" Jessie asked him and he looked at her confused. "I want you to do it again, the fastest way possible, and that doesn't mean running faster."

"Shouldn't I have studied this hypo-thingy first? Because I have no idea what you mean."

"Maybe, but Cammie was the one to take the book away from you, not me. Now again."

Jess did it again, with the same results.

"Did you even go to one math class in high school?" Jessie asked him as he came back.

"I did. I didn't pay attention though."

"Okay, again."

Jess sighed before taking off again.

"This is stupid," Jess said even more out of breath as he returned to Jessie's side.

"Jess, listen to me, and listen carefully."

"Okay."

"Are you sure that you're taking the most direct route?" Jessie asked him.

"Yes, why?" Jess responded.

"Okay, again."

"What?" Jess asked her confused.

"You're going to keep on doing this until you get it right."

"But I don't understand."

"Run."

Jess sighed before taking off again. He ran it five more times before stopping at Huck, the tree furthest from Jessie. He leant against the tree. He wasn't going to run the same route again, just to be forced to run it again. He figured as long as he was the furthest away from Jessie, then she couldn't make him run. He glanced at Jessie from his position and it finally clicked. The route he had been running was twice a far as if he ran directly to her. He felt like an idiot, but he was so happy that he finally had the answer. He wasted no time before he cut across the grass and ran straight to her.

"See, I knew you weren't that stupid," Jessie smiled at him, "though I was beginning to have doubts."

"Oh man, this makes so much sense... though I don't see what this has to do with a hypot-en-use."

"A hypotenuse, and that route you just took is the hypotenuse."

"Yeah, I don't understand."

"Here," Jessie said as she grabbed a stick and knelt down to draw in the dirt. "We're standing here. Here's _Tom_ and here's _Huck_, if we draw a line from us to _Tom _ to _Huck_ then we create a right angle triangle, please tell me you know what a right angle triangle is... okay, so a right angle triangle is ninety degrees. Now, this is the route you were taking, but if you draw a line from here to here, effectively joining the triangle together, well then you've got your quickest route or the hypotenuse."

"Okay, makes sense, I guess."

"Let's head back to _Stampede_. You have the general idea, I'll teach you the rest when we get back."

"Okay, let's go," Jess said as he headed for 52nd street.

"Umm, Jess."

"Yes," Jess said as he turned around.

"What did we just learn?" Jessie asked him.

"Umm..."

"Here," Jessie said as she handed Jess the stick, "draw it out."

"Fine," Jess said as he grabbed the stick and drew it on the ground. "We're here, Cammie's is here. This is 52nd street and this is Baltimore Avenue."

"Good, now which route were you going to take?" Jessie asked him.

"52nd then Baltimore... Oh, okay, so if we head in more of a diagonal direction... Then we'll be cutting our time in half."

"Yes Jess, oh I'm so proud of you," Jessie said as she hugged him tightly.

"Oh, you're just happy that you don't have to take the long route again," Jess said pulling out of the hug, though he was proud that he was finally getting it.

"Well, there's that as well. Lead the way Jess," Jessie said and Jess took the lead.

They made it back to _Stampede_ in record time, well record time for Jess.

"I cannot believe how much time I've been wasting all these years," Jess said as they walked through the door.

"I cannot believe you never worked this out for yourself before," Jessie countered.

"Hey," Jess defended, "I spent all my time reading, and it didn't really matter how long it took me to get anywhere, so I had no reason to figure it out for myself."

"Sure, sure," Jessie responded. "I'm pretty sure it's common knowledge though."

"You seem to be in a better mood, Jess... and sweaty," Cammie said as she approached them.

"Yeah, she made me run," Jess said as he glared at Jessie, "but I can now say that I have a basic understanding of trigonometry."

"You did tell him that there's more to trig than that, didn't you?" Cammie asked Jessie.

"I alluded to it, but no."

"What are you guys talking about?" Jess asked them confused.

"Let's just head over here and I'll explain it to you," Jessie said to Jess as she lead him over to the table.

"Save me," Jess said dramatically to Cammie as he was dragged away.

"Sorry, it's for your own good," Cammie told him before moving off to get them some coffee.

"So, do you understand trig yet?" Cammie asked as she refilled their coffee for the fourth time.

"I think so," Jess replied, staring at his workbook in front of him.

"Jessie?" Cammie asked, not trusting Jess' answer.

"Yeah, he's getting it. We've moved onto algebra," Jessie replied, "and after a fifteen minute conversation on why 'x' was labeled as 'x', we are finally getting somewhere."

"I just don't understand why it has to be 'x' why not-"

"Okay, no more coffee for you," Cammie said cutting Jess off.

"Math is stupid," Jess responded.

"I like it," Jessie gushed.

"You've got to be kidding me," Jess said to her, "why?"

"Because it's simple," Jessie explained, "you do all the working out and there is only one right answer."

"Exactly, only one right answer. It's all formulas and steps, you don't even need to use your brain. You don't get to form your own ideas, they're already set in stone. One plus one will always equal two, but if you ask me a question as to why_ Oliver Twist _felt neglected then there is no wrong answer."

"So you're telling me that I can say that Oliver felt neglected because _Huck Finn_ never went on an adventure with him?" Jessie said baiting Jess.

"I'm going to go back to work," Cammie said before dashing off.

"You cannot combine two different works of fiction," Jess told her.

"But you just told me that no answer was wrong."

"Well, obviously I was wrong."

"Oh, did Jess Mariano just admit that he was wrong?" Jessie smiled at him.

"No," Jess huffed.

"Oh, I think you did, and I think Huck, Tom, and Oliver would have gotten along swimmingly."

"Are you serious?" Jess asked her.

"So you disagree?" Jessie asked trying to bait him once again.

"Yes. Huck and Tom wouldn't have put up with Oliver."

"Explain."

"They would have seen Oliver as a little kid, someone who would have held them back from their adventures. They would have never let him join them."

"I guess," Jessie replied seeing his reason.

"There's no guessing, it's fact."

"Okay, book boy, whatever you say."

"Don't call me book boy," Jess warned.

"Okay, author man."

"Jezebel," Jess countered.

"Oh come on, Jess, that isn't fair."

"Oh really, why not?"

"You know I hate that name."

"Yeah, just as much as Cammie hates Camille, but nowhere near as much as I hate any nickname whatsoever."

"Really? You never had a nickname before?" Jessie asked him almost sadly.

"Once," Jess gritted, showing her that the topic was off discussion.

"Okay, I'll call you Jes-" Jessie froze as she looked out the window. Jess turned around and saw the whole Locust gang there. Reg was throwing daggers at Jess before he stormed off. The others debated whether to follow him or not, and decided to follow him. "Well I guess that I'm officially single," Jessie said sadly.

"What?" Jess asked confused as he turned back to face her.

"Earlier, when Reg came in with Jake, well you left and he... he offered me an ultimatum."

"An ultimatum?" Jess questioned confused, nothing good ever came from those.

"Yeah, he said that I had to choose from him or _Stampede_," Jessie said starting to get upset.

"But you work here," Jess replied confused.

"I know, it was basically choose love or my job. I was going to choose _Stampede _straight away, but Cammie told me to think about it, so I was... but now I'm thinking, well, you know how Reg is..."

"Do you regret it?" Jess asked her. "I mean do you want to run after him?"

"No... I don't know," Jessie said confused, "I think... if I had to choose between him and his friends, or my job, Cammie and you, well I would choose here."

"But you shouldn't have to choose. I learnt that once."

"Really?" Jessie asked him confused.

"Yeah," Jess sighed. Jessie knew next to nothing about him, and he could tell that she was still upset, so he decided to give her a little something from his previous life. "I had this girl once. I left her, didn't even say goodbye. Simply put, I was a huge ass. I went back over a year later, I went to her dorm at Yale and I begged her to run away with me. I should never have done it. It shouldn't have been a here or there. I should have given her more time, more options, but I didn't."

"So she said no?" Jessie asked him.

"Yes, and for good reason. I was a raving lunatic. I'm glad she said no, if she had said yes... well, I don't know where we would be right now. I do know that it never would have worked out though."

"So, it worked out in your case?" Jessie asked, hopeful.

"Yes, it did, and I'm sure that it will work out in yours too," Jess reassured her.

"Thanks Jess," Jessie said as she reached across the table and grabbed his hand in her own.

"Oh, no, no, no, no," Cammie said coming over to the table and pulling their hands apart.

"What?" Jess asked her confused.

"I have a strict no dating-policy here at _Stampede_."

"Really?" Jess questioned her.

"Yes, it was for me mainly. I'm gay Jess, one hundred per cent, but sometimes... the way you look when your deep in thought," Cammie shook her head to get rid of the thoughts, "well, let's just say I don't want to slip up," she added before leaving promptly.

"Well, that was weird," Jessie said looking at Cammie's retreating form.

"I know," Jess answered, unsure of how Cammie's revelation made him feel. "Though I wasn't... you know, umm, trying to woo you."

"Trying to woo me? Seriously Jess?"

"Look, I'm not good at the whole dating/relationship thing, but I don't want to lead you on or anything."

"Jess, it's okay, really," Jessie reassured him. "You were just comforting me for my shitty day, plus you've been studying math all day so you're bound to be a little irrational by now."

"Hear, hear," Jess rejoiced as he closed the math textbook forcefully. "Well, thanks for today Jessie, but I'm going to head home and hope like hell this stuff actually sinks in."

"Okay, if you need any help I'll be here," Jessie said as Jess got up.

"See you at home, Cammie," Jess called out to her. "Bye, Jessie."

He stopped out the front of _Stampede_ and looked back in, just in time to see an overly excited Cammie rush over to Jessie. Probably demanding information, he deduced. Jess shook his head. Girls, it appeared as though they were all the same. And for once thinking of the Gilmore Girls in a similar interaction did nothing to him, except make him feel a little bit nostalgic for Luke. He smiled at his obvious human growth. It seemed as though seeing Rory that one last time was good for both of them. It gave him some sense of closure that he never really had.

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**A/N**: Leave some love for us!


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N**: Thanks for the reviews on chapter 30, always fun to hear your thoughts on our fic. Well, nothing more to it, we're soldiering on, and in this chapter, we're finally giving Jess something he hasn't had in a loooon time. No dirty thoughts, people! ;) Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: We don't own Gilmore Girls, and you all know it.

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"You didn't have to tag along, Cammie."

It had been a week since Jess signed the papers, and he'd now got a call from the realtor that he could come and pick up his keys. Between then and now, he'd been busy fixing the utilities and studying for the GED test. His application for registering as a citizen of Pennsylvania still hadn't come through, so all he could do was practice. Jessie still helped him out with math, and they had moved on from algebra to functions and graphs and sets. It had become easier; now that he had a relatively firm grasp on algebra and trig, the rest came along if he just kept on doing the exercises Jessie brought him. She'd hand him a set of exercises before they left work, and he'd turn them in the next day, and Jessie would check the answers and walk him through the problems the day after.

He'd picked up the keys during his lunch break, and Cammie caught up on that as soon as he stepped through the door of _Stampede_, and asked him if he would go see the place after work. It was no point trying to lie to Cammie, so Jess had resignedly said that he would, and Cammie had taken it as an invitation to come with.

"As if you would've been able to stop me. I could take your scrawny ass in a fight any time, Jess. How many times have I told you to hit the gym?"

Jess ignored the jibe about him being scrawny, and kept on walking. The two sets of keys felt heavy in his messenger bag, and he couldn't wait to see the place again. He could start planning on what to do, what to change, and how to change it. It was his now, and he could make something of it. He had sworn Cammie to secrecy, making her promise not to tell anyone, not even Jessie about his little project. Thankfully, Jessie hadn't asked him about it after the mention last week.

They turned up on South 52nd Street from Walton Avenue, and Jess could already see the brick building where his new home was. Home. He hadn't even moved in, and it already felt like home to him. He picked up his pace, Cammie hot on his heels.

"This is it?" she asked, when they stopped outside the door.

"This is it," Jess confirmed, pulling out a set of keys from the bag.

Slowly, he put the key in the lock, and when he turned it and heard the click of the lock opening, he felt chills going down his spine. What had happened here? He had never gotten chills before from anything so simple as unlocking a door. He shrugged, and opened the door, letting Cammie enter first.

"Wow, okay, it's dark. Can you hit the lights?" Cammie asked him.

"I don't think there are any light bulbs here, I'll have to get those... Just wait a second and your eyes will adjust."

"It's getting better already."

Cammie roamed around the ground floor space, looking at it intently from different angles, then headed for the stairs. Jess followed her, not saying anything. This felt so right, this was definitely the best move he'd made in a long time. He didn't even care if Cammie would think it was the worst dump she'd ever seen. He had hope in this place.

They did a tour of the upstairs living space, going through every room, inspecting the kitchen, the bathroom, everything. Cammie obviously knew what to look for (and hoped like hell it wasn't there…). They returned downstairs and Cammie wandered to the far end of the room, looking at it again.

"What's the verdict?" Jess asked, watching her bemusedly.

"Well, you'll have your work cut out for you, that's for sure," she replied thoughtfully.

"I'm going to look into contractors to put in a couple of support beams in this room. Other than that, this place mostly needs redecoration."

"I'll give you the number to the guy I used for _Stampede_. Pretty good if you lean on him a bit, otherwise he takes forever. What about the rest? You got ideas? I'm guessing the upstairs will be living quarters?"

"Yup. It's more space than I actually need, but I'm hoping the GED will be enough to make this place a little more crowded. I thought if I got Matt and Chris to tag along we could move the publishing business here, put in shelves, a reading corner, maybe a small stage for performances…" Jess trailed off, looking around the room, and for a brief second, he could see it, the way this place would look when it was finished.

"Whatever you do, don't mess up the walls," Cammie interrupted him, and the moment passed. He was back again in the semi-darkness with bare walls and echoes.

"Why?"

"Got some acquaintances, decent artists with nowhere to show their talent."

"Cammie, I know squat about art…"

"Please, I would've majored in psychology if I'd gone to college. The closest thing to art I'd have come in contact with would have been the Rorschach test, but I can still appreciate abstract art," Cammie rebutted, and Jess could hear the teasing note in her voice.

"Fine," he relented. "I'll think about it."

Cammie came over to him where he stood next to the staircase.

"I'm really proud of you, Jess, you know that?"

"You're not gonna cry, are you?"

"Me, cry? I didn't even cry when I saw _Titanic_. Can't I just say I'm proud of you for going through with this? You really have a plan for this place, and I think it'll be fantastic when it's done."

"Or it will just be me and a whole lot of empty space," Jess retorted, a tad sardonically.

Cammie gave a short laugh.

"At least you'll have plenty of room to hang your GED certificate. When are you taking the test?"

"The citizen papers are still being processed, but they shouldn't take too long. Maybe next week or the week after that."

"You need more help? Obviously not with the math, Jessie's got you covered, there, but the other stuff. History, Geography, that kind of thing."

Jess cocked an eyebrow and sat down at the foot of the steps.

"Just because I skipped school a lot doesn't mean I didn't read the assigned textbooks."

"I'm sorry, but I find that a bit hard to believe," Cammie said, disbelief in her voice.

"Sometimes there wasn't anything else to read," Jess replied, shrugging his shoulders.

"Is that the Jess Mariano-way of saying 'thanks, but no thanks'?"

He smirked at her, leaving her to guess. They took a final tour of the place, making sure everything was in order, ending it by the stairs where they both sank down this time.

"You really think I did the right thing, huh?"

Cammie looked at him, furrowing her brow.

"You're not having second thoughts are you? You sounded so psyched when you talked about your plans for this place."

"I'm not having second thoughts, not yet anyway. Maybe when I spend my first night here, or get the first bill for getting this place up and running… But not right now. I value your opinion, that's all. You know what it's like taking a chance like this."

"My situation was not entirely the same," Cammie pointed out quickly. "But for the sake of this argument, let's say it is. You're taking responsibility, Jess, showing commitment. If Matt, Chris, Jake and Reg have any sense, they'll see that."

"You're putting an absurd amount of hope in their mental faculties," Jess said humorlessly.

"So should you, you know. The world isn't out to get you, Jess. Not all the time at least."

Cammie gave him an encouraging smile, and a few minutes later they left Jess' newly acquired apartment to go shopping, plugging in the fridge before leaving. With a little luck, he could move in by the end of the week, which would give him time to buy and possibly order all the things he needed. He looked forward to getting a bed, a real bed. That had become a pre-requisite. He had an apartment of his own, he would damn well have his own bed, and not rough it on a mattress or a couch.

There was a small corner shop right across the street, but Cammie told him that if he was really going to stock up on necessities, he should go to one of the larger stores. Together, they took the bus downtown and Cammie wanted to keep going so they could go to Wal-Mart. Jess refused, on account of Chris working at Wal-Mart. Cammie countered that unless Chris had superpowers, he probably wouldn't be at all the Wal-Marts in Philly at the same time. But he was adamant, he would not go to Wal-Mart. She sighed, rolling her eyes at him, and dragged him to the closest Target-store.

It wasn't so much him shopping as Cammie filling his cart for him and telling him what to get. The only things he picked out on his own were a jumbo-pack of light bulbs, a bed, a toothbrush and good quality kitchenware. If Luke had taught him anything by having slave at the diner, it was to have good equipment, or you might as well cook your food on the pavement.

Two hours later they finally stood in line to pay. Jess felt a little thrill of exhilaration when he saw the final sum for his purchases. Not counting the apartment, he'd never spent so much money on anything. Hell, his Ambassador Rambler hadn't even cost him this much. Cammie seemed oblivious, happy in her post-shopping buzz. Together, they hauled the huge shopping bags to the bus stop and took the bus back to Cedar Park.

"We need to clean this place before we start unpacking everything," Cammie said, when they'd put down all the bags.

"But I don't have a vacuum cleaner yet," Jess pointed out. Because they could only carry so much with them, the vacuum cleaner he'd bought would be delivered along with his bed, two chairs, a desk and two larger lamps.

"I'll go home and get mine. You start putting in light bulbs and lamps, you should be qualified to do that. I'll be back in ten-fifteen minutes tops!"

Cammie turned on her heel and rushed out, door slamming shut behind her. Jess smirked. That would not look weird at all, a girl with bright pink and red hair hauling a vacuum cleaner down the streets. He made a mental note to buy a camera at some point so he could start documenting Cammie's insane stunts.

In the meantime, he dug out the pack of light bulbs and a few smaller lamps and got to work. He couldn't reach the ceiling fixtures, and settled for putting bulbs in the small lamps and plugging them into the wall in the kitchen and in the bedroom he'd picked out as his. When Cammie got back, he could boost her up and have her put light bulbs in the ceiling fixtures.

Cammie took her time, and it was only after 25 minutes that she stumbled through the door, hauling a bright, pink vacuum cleaner and a lime green bucket which had some sort of detergent sticking out of it and rags hanging from the sides.

"Sorry... I'm late..!" Cammie panted, setting down the pink monster in front of her.

"It's fine. Gave me extra time to figure out which way to screw in the light bulbs," Jess teased her.

"Yes, well, I've seen you've done a marvelous job, bucko. The place is on fire."

"You might not have noticed, but there are no chairs here, nothing for me to stand on, so I can't reach the fixtures in the ceiling."

"Fine, I'll give you a boost," Cammie said, like it was no big deal.

"Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. If anyone's getting a boost, it's you."

Cammie cocked an eyebrow, clearly thinking "You really think you're strong enough?", and Jess replied by handing her a light bulb and hunching down by the stair case so Cammie could climb up on his shoulders. She made a sign for him to wait, then ran up the stairs and came back with the bag that contained a bunch of lampshades she'd bought. When they were all set, Jess got up, and they wobbled around the room, putting in light bulbs and covering them with shades under wild groans, laughs and Cammie commanding Jess around like he was a horse. They did the same trick upstairs, although this time Cammie started calling Jess "Black Beauty", and he began wondering how she'd look if he used her to sweep the floors. As far as Jess knew, Cammie had never had grey hair before...

They finished, and turned on the lights. For one thing, they could see, but unfortunately, they also saw how much work they had ahead of them. They started downstairs, doing a thorough sweep with the vacuum cleaner. There was not much else to do, and anyway, it would get dirty again once the contractors came in to fix the support beams. Upstairs, they had a small fight about how much to clean. Jess didn't want to clean out any of the two other bedrooms, since no one would probably be living there. Cammie thought that was ridiculous, that they would eventually need cleaning, and what if Jess needed to store something there, did he want to store his things in a lair of dirt? Grumpily, Jess realized Cammie had a point, and vacuumed the rooms. Cammie, on the other hand, focused on getting the kitchen area clean, wiping every surface until it shone, and washing all the plates and glasses and mugs and cutlery they'd bought.

"When were the guys from Target supposed to come?" she asked hours later as she wiped her forehead. "I need a couch to fall down and pass out on."

"I didn't get a couch, Cammie, and you know that," Jess reminded her and looked out the window that faced Cedar Avenue. "But the rest that you picked out should be here any minute."

It was hard to see anything, partly because the windows still hadn't been cleaned, and because the buildings and trees across the street obscured the view even more, but he thought he could discern a large truck heading this way on Cedar Avenue. The closer it got, the more he was sure, and he smiled when he saw the Target-logo on the side of the truck.

"They're here," he said, and both he and Cammie almost fell down the stairs to greet the Target-delivery.

Jess watched with a fair amount of glee as they carried his bed up the stairs. It wasn't the most expensive bed, in fact he'd probably picked out the cheapest in the bunch, but still it was a bed, not a couch or an air mattress. He directed the guys carrying the bed to put it in the room he'd picked as his, and they unwrapped the plastic sheeting. It was quite possibly the most beautiful bed Jess had ever seen.

The rest that got carried inside was more or less bonus. The chairs, the desk, his own vacuum cleaner, the lamps... It was good, but not nearly as necessary as his bed. He stepped back and let Cammie run the show. She commanded the guys around like her own personal slaves, making sure the chairs came just where she wanted them to stand. Poor bastards practically fled the scene, tires screeching when they were done.

"You happy?" Cammie asked a while later.

They were sitting in the designated living room area, eating a hoagie each. The plan had been to cook food in the apartment, but the stove turned out to be broken, so Jess would have to go out and buy a new one tomorrow, since fixing the old one would probably cost more than buying a new one. Instead, they'd gone to a place just across the street, that made surprisingly good hoagies, and Jess had wondered just how much money spent on simply thinking that it's so much easier to just go across the street.

"I am," he confirmed, looking around himself.

The place still looked a bit off, the place looked older now that there was new, modern furniture spread around the rooms, but he didn't care. He had a home.

Cammie left some time later, claiming she had to get some sleep since she had the early shift tomorrow. Jess nodded, as he would be joining her. Once Cammie was out the door, he turned off the lights, made his bed with the new sheets and climbed in. He would have needed to wash the sheets before, but he had no time and no patience to wait. He let the fresh sheets itch, and blissfully drifted off to sleep.

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**A/N**: Yes, we finally got Jess a real bed! Poor thing has been sleeping on a couch ever since he got to Philly, and god knows what he slept on back in Cali, so we thought it was time for Jess to get a real bed. Leave us some love!


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N- **Kassandra27 here, not much to say except that Pia (**Icanseeyourface**) made this chapter awesome-er during the editing stage :)

**Disclaimer- **We own Cammie and Jessie, plus Jake and Reg too

Enjoy

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Two days after the move in, Jess was working at _Stampede_ with Cammie. The coffee shop was fairly packed, and they did their best to get serve people as quickly as possible. Amidst all the chaos, the phone rang, and Cammie answered it.

"_Stampede_, hello... Yeah it's Cammie... Yes, it's Camille... Look, I don't see how this is my problem... Look, mom, I can't help- ... Yeah, okay. ...I will... Yes, I promise... Bye."

Jess looked at her confused.

"Are you alright?" Jess asked her concerned.

"Umm, yeah," Cammie responded grabbing her bag from behind the counter, "Look I have to, umm, go, but if you want you can call Jessie to come and help you. Okay, bye."

Jess looked after Cammie as she left without another word. He was trying to figure out what was going on. It had sounded as though Cammie was talking to her estranged mother. He decided not to worry about it. It wasn't his problem to deal with, but if Cammie needed him then he would be there for her. He picked up the phone and dialed Jessie's number. She answered after five rings.

"Hello?" Jessie mumbled.

"Oh, hello Jezebel," Jess taunted playfully, "were you just getting up?"

"No, I was doing yoga," Jessie defended, "Right in the middle of the downward dog and the spawn of Satan just had to call. I figured I better pick up or I'll be sentenced to an afterlife in hell."

"Well, aren't you chipper?" Jess said still trying to get a rise out of her.

"Did you actually call for a reason or did you really just need to hear my voice that badly?" Jessie countered.

"Oh, I have a reason," Jess told her smiling, "Do you want another shift?"

"You're ditching again? Cammie's going to fire your ass soon, you know."

"No, she won't, and it's not for me, it's for Cammie."

"Cammie?" Jessie questioned confused. "She, like, lives at that coffee house."

"Don't I know it. She was here, but she got an important phone call and had to run out. She said I could call you, or not. Personally, I could handle this place myself, but I figured that you'd appreciate the extra money. So?"

"You just wanted to work beside me, admit it?"

"Never," Jess shot back playfully. "So are you in?"

"Yeah, give me fifteen," Jessie responded before hanging up the phone.

Jess returned the phone to its cradle before he began filling the sugar containers. He was just finishing when Jessie came through the door.

"Wow, you were telling the truth," she said, sounding a bit disappointed as she took in the almost empty _Stampede_.

"What?" Jess asked her confused.

"I thought this whole thing was a just a ruse for you to see me, but no, it really does look like Cammie's not here."

"Don't go flattering yourself just yet," Jess told her in mock seriousness, "You haven't checked the storeroom yet."

Jessie quickly dashed into the storeroom before coming out a minute later.

"So she really isn't here?" Jessie asked him confused. _Stampede _was odd without Cammie here and a little unnerving, Jessie thought.

"It's like I told you on the phone."

"Hmm, it's weird," Jessie said looking around the empty cafe, "it's like this place dies without her here."

"I know," Jess agreed. "I've had no customers since she left. I think she's the reason people come in, kind of like Luke."

"Luke?" Jessie questioned Jess confused. "Explain?"

"Oh..." Jess didn't mean to slip up, it just came out. "Luke's my uncle."

"Hang on a second, let me get a pen," Jessie said as she searched for a pen.

"What are you doing?" Jess asked her confused.

"Oh, I'm marking my calendar," Jessie responded like it was the only explanation.

"Why?"

"Because today is the day that I found out that you aren't in fact an orphan," Jessie said as she stopped looking for a pen. "You have an uncle, Jess?"

"Yeah, so?"

"I know nothing about you Jess, except the fact that you asked your ex-girlfriend to run away with you on a whim. So an uncle, tell me more, or at least tell me how he's like Cammie or whatever."

"Fine," Jess sighed, "He owns a diner. He sells coffee, like Cammie, but he sells food as well, whereas Cammie sells mainly cakes and pastries. Anyway, it's in a small town and his diner is always packed. He always claims that it's because people have to eat, but what he doesn't understand is that half the people only come in there to see him, they don't care about the quality of the food or the coffee... but it is good. It's better than Cammie's, but don't tell her I said that."

"Better than Cammie's? Wow," Jessie said impressed.

"I know," Jess agreed.

"He sounds like a good man."

"He is," Jess agreed again.

"Okay, this is lame," Jessie said after a few minutes had passed. "I can't believe you called me in and this place is dead."

"You can leave if you want, but you're basically getting paid for doing nothing, so..."

"I'll stay, I could use the money."

"What do you need the money for anyway?" Jess asked Jessie confused, he had always wondered.

"School, I'm on scholarship but it doesn't cover everything."

"When do you have time for school, you're either here or doing yoga."

"Funny," Jessie replied smiling. "It's off campus. I figured it would be better if I worked during the day and studied at night."

"Must be hard."

"Sometimes, but I can't sit in a classroom and listen to a teacher drone on and on about the same stuff I can read in a textbook and learn myself."

"Makes sense." Jess could definitely see her reasoning. "That was part of my problem too, the other part was that what they were teaching didn't interest me at all."

"Why are you working so hard for it then?" Jessie asked him. She never liked to pry into people's personal lives, but as Jess had asked her first she didn't feel as though it was off limits. "What are you spending all your money on?"

"Umm, it's kind of private," Jess replied. He still didn't know if he could trust Jessie, he didn't know if she had been in contact with Reg after their break-up, and he didn't want to tell her his plan just to have the guys find out before it was time. It would ruin everything.

"Come on, Jess, something, anything?" Jessie asked as a last attempt before she would drop the subject all together.

"I bought a place, an apartment," Jess supplied.

"Really? Where?" Jessie asked growing excited.

"Over on 52nd street, I can move in after the weekend," Jess said catching her excitement.

"Sounds good," Jessie told him genuinely .

"Yeah, it will be," Jess agreed.

"Hey, we should play a game," Jessie said as another half an hour passed with no customers.

"A game?" Jess questioned her skeptically.

"Yeah you know, to pass the time."

"Okay," Jess accepted. They were doing nothing, so it would be a welcome change.

"Umm..." Jessie said trying to think of a good game, "I can't think of anything."

"I have one, though if Cammie catches us she may just kill us," Jess told her seriously.

"Really, well, I'm game, what is it?" Jessie asked excitedly.

"Have you ever played bagel hockey?"

"No, but I'm intrigued," Jessie said smiling.

"Okay," Jess said stepping from behind the counter, "Help me move these tables together."

"Okay."

They pulled three tables together in a line.

"Now we grab a bagel," Jess said as he grabbed one from behind the counter. "You can start," he slid the bagel to Jessie and stood up one end of the tables, he set his hands up to be a hockey goal, "Now you just have to slide it across the tables and through the goal. Each goal scores one point."

"Okay," Jessie said as she stood up the other end and slid the bagel across the tables. It hit Jess' finger and just missed.

Jess grabbed the bagel, whilst Jessie set up her goal. When she was ready he slid the bagel across the tables and right through the goal.

"Oh, no fair, you've played this before," Jessie said pouting.

"No, never," Jess responded truthfully as he set up his goal.

"Then how?" Jessie asked as she missed the goal again.

"I was official umpire," Jess answered as he shot again and got another goal.

"Explain," was all Jessie said as she went for goal and missed again.

"Well, there were two customers that came into Luke's daily, one came for Luke specifically and the coffee, the other came for me."

"Yale girl?" Jessie asked carefully.

"Yep, one and the same," Jess said as he shot for goal and missed. "Anyway, they liked to play bagel hockey on the counter, but my uncle Luke didn't like it at all. He always kicked them out when they played. Usually they just played when he wasn't there and I'd umpire. One day they decided to play when he was there and apparently it was my job to umpire and look out for Luke, who was swamped in the kitchen. Anyway, he called order up and I was going to get it, but I was told to stay and watch the goal first, so I did. The bagel hit the goal post and stopped just inside the goal. One was claiming that it was a goal and one was claiming that it wasn't. They turned to me because I was official umpire and all. I called goal, but then the whole diner started weighing in on it. Looking at it from different angles. One man even began drawing up stats and calculations. As you can imagine Luke decided that right then was the time to exit the kitchen. He caught as all, we couldn't hide what we were doing and he kicked us all out of the diner. Every single one of us."

"Really?" Jessie asked amazed.

"Yeah, and he wouldn't let us back in for half an hour. So naturally, we all spent that half hour out the front of the diner discussing the goal, before we were told to move away for blocking the sidewalk. Then just for kicks we stood on the road to anger the guy who kicked us off the sidewalk further. The guy ended up calling Luke and next thing I know, we're being let back in."

"Wow, that place sounds like crazy fun," Jessie said wistfully. She had grown up in Philly, the big city, and this small town sounded fun to her.

"It is," Jess agreed without thinking, "I may just take you there one day."

"Really?"

"Really."

Jessie went for a goal and it went in. She immediately began doing a happy dance. Right in the middle of her happy dance a customer came through the door. Jess and Jessie turned around to look at the newcomer hoping like hell that it wasn't Cammie.

"Hi," Jess spoke to the boy who looked a little worse for wear, he looked to be about fifteen and immediately reminded Jess of himself at that age. "What can I get you?"

"Umm, is Cammie here?" the boy asked nervously.

"Who's asking?" Jessie demanded, suddenly getting protective over Cammie.

"Let me handle this," Jess told her, "Here, dispose of the bagel."

"Cammie?" Jess questioned the kid.

"Yeah... This is her place, isn't it?" he asked nervously.

"Oh, you mean Camille," Jess responded, "Yeah, this is her place."

"Camille?" the boy questioned. "Umm, where is she?"

"Out," Jess told him.

"Oh, do... can you call her or something."

"Okay, and who's calling?" Jess asked the boy.

"Tell her that..." the boy trailed off, "tell her that her brother Seth is here."

"Brother? Okay, wow," Jess stuttered, "Well I'm Jess and that there is Jessie, have a seat and she'll get you something to eat, and I'll call Cammie."

"Thanks," Seth replied as he took a seat towards the back.

"Go and take his order," Jess said to Jessie, who was returning from the storeroom, "And treat him well, he claims to be Cammie's brother."

"Brother, oh wow..."

"Yep," Jess said as he picked up the phone and dialed Cammie's cell.

"Jess, I don't have time for this," Cammie snapped as soon as she answered.

"Hi, to you too."

"Jess, is this an emergency because I'm a little busy at the moment."

"Oh, Cammie, I think I have something that belongs to you," Jess told her as he looked over at Seth.

"Jess, if you were the one that stole my hair dryer I am going to kill you."

"No, and I already told you that I didn't," Jess said getting defensive.

"Okay, so what, spit it out already," Cammie said her patience already wearing thin.

"Well, his name is Seth, and he says that he's related to you."

"Seth? Good, keep him there, do not let him out of your sight for any reason, or you're fired," Cammie told him seriously.

"Noted. I guess I'll see you soon then." Jess hung up the phone then made his way over to Seth. "So, you're Cammie's brother?"

"Ah, yeah," Seth replied nervously.

"Seth doesn't seem like a 'society name'," Jessie said as she approached.

"That's because it's not my real name," Seth answered, "Cammie called me Seth one day out of the blue and it stuck."

"Do you like it?" Jessie asked him.

"Yeah, well, only Cammie calls me by that name, it's like a secret bond we have," Seth replied looking out the windows for any sign of his sister.

"She said she'd be here as soon as she could," Jess reassured him.

"Okay," Seth accepted, "So who are you both in relation to Cammie? Girlfriend?" he directed at Jessie.

"Umm, no," Jessie replied quickly, "I'm straight and so is Jess, and we both work here."

"Yeah, Cammie's our boss," Jess told him.

"Does Cammie always let you play with the food?" Seth asked them, and Jess and Jessie immediately turned red. "Don't worry, I won't tell," Seth told them.

"Good," Jess replied relieved.

"So what are you doing in town?" Jessie asked him.

"I just needed to get away," Seth explained, "I do it every six months or so. Everything gets too much at home and I run. I always run to Cammie. Mom calls Cammie, Cammie finds me and convinces me to return home until I'm eighteen."

"And you just go back home?" Jess asked him confused, he'd never go home unwillingly, especially when he was a teenager.

"Cammie insists that it's for the best. She doesn't want me to go through what she went through. I know she's right. I'm on the fast-track to college, Ivy League, I just have to deal until then."

"Smart boy," Jess responded, he wished he had been that smart when he was attending Stars Hollow High, but it didn't matter now.

"So what exactly were you doing when I came in?" Seth asked them curiously.

"Bagel hockey," Jessie exclaimed excitedly just as Cammie came through the door.

"Jess," she glared at him, obviously hearing Jessie as she came in, "I'll deal with you later for that. Now," she said as she turned her attention to Seth, "Thomas Michael Price."

"Umm, yeah," Seth replied. "Hello, Cammie."

"I told you not to run away again," Cammie told him.

"We'll just..." Jessie trailed off nervously.

"We'll be over here," Jess told her dragging Jessie away, leaving Cammie and Seth alone to work things out.

"So that's Cammie's brother," Jessie whispered so she wouldn't be overheard.

"Yeah," Jess replied looking over at the two. They seemed to be in a deep conversation. From what Seth had told them, Jess was sure Cammie was re-telling him to just stick in there.

"Look, customers," Jessie said as about five people came through the door, two of which were Matt and Chris.

"It's all Cammie," Jess told her, it's the only thing that made sense, no Cammie, no customers, and the minute she stepped back in was the minute that everyone decided to come.

"I've got these three if you want to talk to Matt and Chris," Jessie told him.

"No, it's alright, we'll do it together," Jess told her, "They'll get to the front of the line soon enough."

"Okay," Jessie smiled at him and got to work.

They made their way through the customers quickly and soon enough Matt and Chris were at the front of the line.

"Jess," Chris spoke nervously.

Jess was about to respond when Jessie rested her hand on his forearm, he looked at her. He was good a reading people and what he got from Jessie was that she thought that he was just as good as them. He didn't know why she was looking at him like that, but it gave him hope. It gave him some reassurance that maybe he could get Matt and Chris on his side. That Matt and Chris would join him on his publishing venture. All he had to do was plead his case slowly, gradually.

"Matt, Chris," Jess replied, smiling at them. They smiled back straight away. "What can I get you?"

"Are you two dating?" Matt asked Jess and Jessie. Jessie immediately dropped her hand from Jess' arm and made her way over to the pastries.

"Huh?" Jess replied following Jessie with his eyes just to annoy Matt and Chris, who both looked unbelievably happy at the idea, and Jess had no idea why. "No, Jessie's actually gay," Jess lied and he had to suppress the smile that wanted to break free.

"G-gay?" Matt stuttered.

"Yeah," Jess replied, "ever since Reg and her broke up, I don't know why... I think she's dating Cammie though."

"Whoa," Chris replied trying to get it to all sink in, "We have got to come around here more often." Chris looked at Jess carefully with that statement, he didn't want to cause Jess anymore unwanted trouble.

"I think that's a good idea," Jess told them as he grabbed their coffees and Jessie came over with their usual pastries.

"Here you go, guys," Jessie told them as she handed them the bag.

"Thanks," Chris replied quickly, he knew that if he didn't get Matt out of there fast enough he'd say something to offend Jessie's newfound sexual orientation. "We'll see you around."

"Bye," Jess told them still smiling.

"Bye, guys," Jessie added and after one last smile Chris pulled Matt out of the diner with him.

"Well played," Jessie told Jess impressed.

"Thanks," Jess replied. "It's a gift."

"What are you going to do when they find out I'm not gay?" Jessie asked him confused.

"It won't matter," Jess replied confidently. "Matt and Chris like the unattainable, Matt especially, they'll be in here every day trying to 'change you back', and by the time I tell them that you were always straight, well they'll... we'll be back to normal." -'And possible in business together,' Jess added silently.

"And?" Jessie prompted him, knowing that he was leaving something out.

"Ah," Jess replied trying to dodge the question but Jessie stared him down, "Well, the idea of them telling Reg that you turned gay after dating him isn't entirely unappealing."

"I knew you were working another angle," Jessie told him, not really bothered by it.

"So you're not upset that I made you gay?" Jess asked her confused. It was a spur of the moment decision and he didn't take Jessie's feelings into consideration at all.

"No, I see it's for the greater good," Jessie replied.

"Greater good?" Jess questioned her.

"Yeah, the sooner you're out of here, the sooner I get more hours," Jessie joked.

"Well, I'm glad you can't wait to get rid of me," Jess smiled at her. He turned around wondering why there were no customers. Jessie mirrored his actions. "Cammie left."

"Bagel hockey," Jessie yelled excitedly and Jess sighed, what had he done? He had opened up a part of his old life and brought it into his new one. However he couldn't seem to care because bagel hockey with the Gilmore girls was always a fond memory of his and he found that he was happy to bring it across.

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**A/N- **Make our day by reviewing


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N**: It's embarrassing how long it took us to get this chapter posted. Really. I (Pia) would've wanted to post it about a month ago, when CP celebrated it's 2 year anniversary. Unfortunately, work had other plans for me... Namely work. I consider myself lucky Kass didn't come after me with a blow torch... Anyhow, what matters is we finally managed to get the update together, and we're happy to return to Philly again!

**Disclaimer**: ASP owns GG and all its recognizable characters. Cammie is ours. Such awesomeness can only come from minds such as ours.

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"Please?"

"No!"

"Pretty, pretty please?"

Cammie stood before Jess with the most ridiculous expression on her face. At least he thought so.

"I am not having a house warming party," he said sternly, for what felt like (and probably was) the millionth time.

"Why not? Come on, you've got a great apartment, you're your own man. It will be fun!" Cammie pleaded, quite futilely.

"Oh, yeah? For who?"

"For everyone!"

"Really? You, Jessie and what other guests?"

He didn't exactly have anyone else to invite. There had been no further run-ins with any of his former co-publishers. Jess secretly wondered where they got their coffee from nowadays. Inviting Chris and Matt was still out of the question, but hopefully not for long. The paperwork had finally cleared, and as of three days ago, he was officially Pennsylvanian and Philadelphian. That meant he could take the GED-tests, and he had booked the first available testing dates. He'd do the math section tomorrow, the writing and reading part the day after that and social studies and science next week's Monday. Until he had the GED-diploma in his hand, he would keep a low profile and fly under Matt and Chris's radar.

"You are such a buzz kill," Cammie pouted, crossing her arms.

"What's he done now?" Jessie asked, entering the back room.

"Nothing," Jess replied quickly.

Jessie gave him a 'Yeah, sure'-look, and turned to Cammie for answers.

"He won't throw a house warming party!" Her tone was ridiculously accusatory.

"And this is news?" Jessie commented, and cocked and eyebrow. "I could've told you that."

"No doubt an observation I will read about in your future hit, _The Unabridged Jess Mariano_," Jess rebutted sarcastically.

"Absolutely, it will be featured heavily in _Chapter 3: Jess, Party Pooper of the Universe_. It will be a joy to write. Care to comment?"

"I want an autographed copy," he deadpanned, crossing his arms.

"No problem, I'll sign it with my sparkly Hello, Kitty!-pen."

"Okay, you two, back to your corners, you make me want to vomit," Cammie interrupted, waving her hands.

"He started it!" Jessie exclaimed, pointing at Jess.

"She's a twenty-year-old with a sparkly Hello, Kitty!-pen!" Jess countered, pointing at Jessie.

"And I will fire both your asses if you don't quit sounding like you've been romantically joined at the hip forever and ever," Cammie replied, effectively ending the conversation. She marched out, leaving Jess and Jessie alone.

"She's got one of her whacky days..." Jessie offered after a few seconds.

"Tell me about it."

"I mean, she must have. It's not like we're acting out of character."

"Absolutely not," Jess concurred.

"Okay. Are you nervous about the math-bit tomorrow?"

"A bit," he admitted, looking down. "I never was good at math. At least I'm not running like an idiot between trees, right?"

"Right. The running would definitely be bad at this point," Jessie agreed, smiling. "So why no party? I mean, I get that you're not the party throwing-kind of guy, but wouldn't it be nice to just gather a few friends and hang out?"

"And I repeat, what friends? It'd be me, you and Cammie, and I'm in no mood for watching _Titanic_ and have my hair braided."

"Please, _Titanic_ is so 90's. We'd have a _Legally Blonde_-double feature night, just for you. You'd be dressed in pink before you know it."

Jess gave a "please, kill me now"-grunt, and Jessie laughed.

"And besides, it wouldn't be just me, you and Cammie. You could ask... Oh."

Jess figured that she had just realized what he had been adamant about for quite some time now.

"Matt and Chris." She didn't even bother including Jake and Reg. "I thought the three of you were on civil terms?"

"We had one uneventful incident here last week. I wouldn't exactly call that civil," Jess clarified.

"You would make quite the peace negotiator, you know that?"

"And you are just annoying."

"What is up with you?" Jessie asked, furrowing her brow. "You want to be friends with Matt and Chris again, but you won't throw a house warming party to which you could invite them."

"I want my GED first," he responded.

"Why?"

"So I can prove I'm not irresponsible and untrustworthy."

"Plenty of people have GEDs or high school diplomas, even college degrees, and they're untrustworthy. Just look at that Enron-boss!" Jessie pointed out.

"Yeah, but right now, Matt and Chris don't trust me because I wasn't exactly forthcoming about my not graduating."

"Did you ask them?"

"What?"

"See, from what I've been able to puzzle together, Jake and Reggie were the ones who took it really badly," Jessie explained. "Did Matt and Chris go nuts, too?"

Jess had to admit that maybe Jessie had a point. Matt and Chris hadn't reacted as badly as Jake and Reg, but still...

"They were disappointed," he said, his voice flat. "You could see it plain on their faces. They were really disappointed in me. Hell, I was disappointed, too. I keep asking myself if I did the wrong thing by not telling them."

"And?"

"I don't know. I can never decide."

"You are a weird man, Jess Mariano. Speaking of GED, I promised you could borrow this."

She handed him a calculator.

"I emptied the memory, and they will check that, so don't try programming it," she told him, winking.

"I'm not sure I would even know how to," Jess replied, putting the calculator in his back pocket.

Since Jessie had turned up to relieve him, he changed out of his work clothes, wrote down his hours and took his bag. He went out through the coffee shop so he could say goodbye to Cammie. He found her observing the place with a peering expression on her face.

"I'm taking off," he said, and had already turned around when he realized Cammie hadn't answered him. She always had something to say. She might have grunted or hummed now, he wasn't sure, but the only ones for whom grunting and humming were acceptable means of communication was himself and Luke. If Cammie began to speak monosyllabic, something was off.

"Cammie?" he asked carefully-

"Hm?" she replied, turning around.

"You okay? I said I was leaving, and you didn't respond.

"Okay. Noted. Good luck with your test tomorrow." Her tone was fleeting, she herself seemed far away.

"Hey, is something wrong? Is it your brother?"

"What?" Cammie replied, finally with some force. "No, no. He's okay. Mom and dad took him back, put deadbolts on his windows and grounded him for six months. Or something like that."

"Okay... But you're acting very weird, so what gives?"

Cammie sighed and turned around again, looking at the coffee shop.

"Did I miss something with the design of this place?" she asked, pursing her lips. "It feels... incomplete."

"Chippendales dressed in pink shorts and sneakers?"

"Ha, ha. I'm serious."

"What could possibly be missing here?" Jess questioned, looking around the shop.

"Do you think I would be standing here if I knew what it was?" Cammie quipped.

"You're just paranoid," he reassured her. "Anyway, I'm going off my shift. I'll see you tomorrow."

As he walked out, Jess said goodbye to the absentminded Cammie, and waved at Jessie, who was standing by the counter.

The way home was getting familiar, the new neighborhood had become his. He'd spent a great deal of time in Malcolm X park, studying for the GED tests. He also began to come to terms with the fact that he, Jess Mariano, owned the apartment he now lived he. He had called Luke yesterday, telling his uncle that he'd bought the apartment and moved in. He still waited for a repairman to come fix the extra support beams downstairs. Luke had asked three times if it was really safe for Jess to live upstairs, and three times Jess had replied that it was okay, and that the support beams would be put in just to be on the safe side.

Before he knew it, he was unlocking the front door, and was flooded by a ton of flyers, mostly from takeout places nearby. The menus started coming two days after Jess moved in. Apparently, the owners felt that he needed weekly reminders to come buy their Thai, Indian and Chinese food. He had still not been to one single place. He much preferred cooking his own food. It gave him something to think about, something to occupy his mind with. No chance of slipping into the Rory-trap.

Or the Matt and Chris-trap, for that matter.

He fixed himself some pasta alfredo, looking through the dozen or so math problems Jessie had made for him to solve as he chewed the chicken and pasta. When he started feeling like his head was spinning and he would start spewing numbers if he continued, he took a shower and went to bed. Jess almost scoffed at the thought that he was in bed by ten.

"Definitely a first," he thought as he drifted off to sleep.

He woke up again when the alarm on his phone screeched at him (despite furious attempts, Cammie hadn't convinced him to get a real alarm clock yet).Two and a half hours to get ready, have breakfast, get to Community College of Philadelphia, register and take the test. Jess slouched out of bed, took another shower and fried up some eggs for breakfast. The math problems called out to him from the other side of the table, but he had decided that trying to squeeze in some last minute studying wouldn't be worth it. If the theories and processes had stuck with him, he'd be fine.

He packed what he needed in his messenger bag, walked down the stairs and out the door, making sure the door was locked before strolling down to the nearest bus stop. It was a cloudy day, and the absence of both sun and rain made him feel oddly calm. Cloudy was good, neutral. Sun made you feel too sure about yourself, and rain... well, that was a no brainer.

The bus ride downtown went quickly by, and not long after, he was queuing to get registered at the college. He filled out some papers, got Jessie's calculator checked while getting a droning lecture on what was prohibited during the test, then got sent off to wait with the 30-or-so other expectant people. He found that he was one of the youngest ones there. The oldest, a pasty woman in her forties or fifties sat two seats down from him, fidgeting nervously with the arms of her cardigan. Two benches further down was a guy in his thirties, lazily dozing off against the wall.

"Umm... Do... do I know you?"

Jess looked up. _Shit_. Of all the rotten luck. It was Caleb, the poet he had managed to scare the shit out of months back. This was not good. Caleb could snitch, and Jess had not come this far to be snitched on by a poet. This needed to be handled, even if it had to end with Caleb sleeping with the fishes.

"I don't think so," Jess responded, trying his best to sound aloof.

"No, no, I'm sure I know you from somewhere," Caleb persisted, sitting down next to Jess. "You don't happen to know anyone named Matt? Or Chris?"

"Not unless they're my grandpa and uncle."

"God, I could swear we've met... You... God, you're not the boogeyman, are you?"

"The what?"

"You don't work in publishing?"

"No." First truth of the day.

"And you don't know anyone named Matt and Chris who aren't your grandpa or uncle?"

"No."

"And we have never met before?"

"We have never met before."

"Huh... I could've sworn..." Caleb muttered.

"Guess I just have one of those faces... Excuse me."

Jess rose, took his bag and headed towards the bathrooms. Once he was out of Caleb's sight he stopped, peering over the crowd to make sure there weren't any other friends of Chris and Matt's who could possibly recognize him. Jess didn't move until a woman in a horrid green suit told them all to proceed to the testing room. He made sure to sit as far away as possible from Caleb, who tried to look over his shoulder at Jess. Jess stared firmly down at the desk, finding meaningless patterns and paths in the wood surface. He half listened to the same woman in the green suit tell them about the test, about the time limits and that cheating was against the rules. As if they all didn't know. The tests were handed out, the murmurs of the classroom died down only to explode in a sudden burst of papers turning as their time started, followed by furious pen scribbling. Jess sat for a few seconds, taking a deep breath before finally turning over his test.

The equations jumped at him, giving him a mental shock. How the hell would he get through this? Would getting your name right score you any points? He hesitantly wrote down his name on the dotted line, then continued staring at the different math problems. At first, nothing made sense, everything was a mess of numbers and symbols and text that didn't make a lick of sense.

Then, as if by a miracle, he recognized something. It looked like something that had something to do with the Pythagorean theorem. Jess focused on that task. Sure enough. Running from tree one, to tree two, to tree three and back to tree one. A squared + B squared = C squared. He began writing, finding that the problem sort of solved itself as he wrote the different stages down.

With his mind focused, he found other problems he recognized. Equations, algebra. X's and Y's that had to be x's and y's and nobody knew why. Problem solving, finding out what x was. Done, moving on. Statistical probability, ten memory cards, the odds of finding a pair on the first try.

He finished among the first, handing in his test after having double checked every answer, every stage of the solving process. He had this in the bag, Jess was sure. He glanced over his shoulder at Caleb, sweating as he furiously erased an answer that was obviously wrong. Jess snuck out before Caleb had time to look up and notice him.

Jess felt like his head had just been purged. He hardly noticed as the bus took off, and he almost missed his stop. Across the street was one of the Chinese restaurants that had bombarded him with takeout menus. Maybe, just for today, he could forego a home cooked meal and order some kung pao chicken and eggrolls. Jimmy Soong's did boast on the menu that they had Philly's best eggrolls...

He jogged across the busy street, entering the restaurant. One down, four to go.

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**A/N**: Review, pretty please, or we'll haunt your dreams with equations and probability problems. And it won't be the nice, Charlie Eppes-kind of equations.


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: **Kassandra here, you know the drill, not much to say here. Just read it and review it :)

Someone was wondering who we'd use as an actress for Jessie, there's a pic on our profile of Jessie, I think it's Scarlett Johansson with different hair, check it out.

**Disclaimer: **We own Jessie and Cammie, and Jake and Reg, but unfortunately none of the other characters.

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Jess had just settled on the floor, beer in hand- a celebratory drink for hopefully passing his Math exam, when there was a knock coming from downstairs. He sighed as he stood and made his way down. He rounded the corner and was happy to see Jessie standing outside his door.

"Hey," Jess responded coolly as he opened the door, "what are you doing here?"

"The math," Jessie answered pushing past Jess. "We spent all this time studying, you take your test, and then what? Nothing! Way to keep me filled in, Jess."

"Oh, yeah, sorry," Jess apologized as he shut the door behind her.

"So?" Jessie questioned when Jess didn't add anymore. "How'd it go?"

"Good, I think," Jess replied, standing awkwardly near the door, wondering whether he should invite her upstairs or not. "At first it made no sense, but then certain things stood out. I think I passed."

"Oh, Jess," Jessie screamed excitedly as she launched herself into Jess' arms, "I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks," Jess replied as he stumbled, trying to keep them both from falling on the floor. "I couldn't have done it without you Jessie." Jessie slid out of his embrace and took a few steps back, smiling brightly. "You wanna come up? I just opened a beer."

"Sure. I'd love to check out the place."

"Well, this is the downstairs," Jess paused nervously, he had put off telling Jessie about his new business venture in case she was still talking with Reg, but he didn't want to put it off any longer. He began explaining his plan; what he wanted to do to the place, what he wanted to achieve, how he hoped that Matt and Chris would join him when the time was right. He told her everything.

"That's great," Jessie replied once Jess was finished. She loved how he got so excited over a rundown building and the plans he had for it. Truthfully she had never seen him this excited about anything.

"Yeah, it will be," Jess replied wistfully. He couldn't believe that his plan was slowly coming together. A part of him was waiting for it to blow up in his face like everything else in his life, but a bigger part of him was excited to see his dream reach fulfillment. "So that's the downstairs and then there's the upstairs."

Jessie followed Jess upstairs.

"It's not much," Jess said as he held open the door and let her enter first, "but it's mine. I still need to get a couch and maybe decorate the place, but it's just good having a place of my own."

"I bet," Jessie answered thinking about the student housing she was currently living in. She moved inside the house and looked around the bare living room.

"Do you want a beer?" Jess asked her.

"Sure," Jessie responded as she turned to face him. Jess grabbed a beer and opened it before handing it to her. "Thanks."

"Sure," Jess replied as he grabbed his beer from before off the counter and sat down on the floor again. "Sorry, I have no couch."

"I'm sure I can sit on the floor for a bit," Jessie answered as she sat down across from him. "So?"

"So?" Jess responded as he looked into her eyes, trying to figure her out.

"Anything you want to talk about?" Jessie asked him.

"Not really," Jess answered, taking a sip of his beer. "You?"

"Nope," Jessie responded, popping the 'p' before focusing on her beer.

"Well, this has never happened to us before," Jess said before taking another sip of his beer.

"Yeah," Jessie responded as she attempted to pull her beer label off in one go, groaning when it ripped.

"You gotta pull it back on itself," Jess instructed.

"What?" Jessie asked confused as she looked up.

"See," Jess said showing her his intact beer label that he had pulled off the bottle, "you just gotta pull it back on itself."

"Oh. Have you had much practice?"

"Yeah," Jess replied with a faraway look on his face, "my place was filled with beer bottles growing up."

"Oh, sorry," Jessie responded as she focused back on her beer bottle. If she had known she would have never asked.

They sat there for another awkward, silent five minutes, before Jessie spoke one word, "Bathroom."

"Sure, through there," Jess said as he pointed to a door and Jessie all but jumped up.

Jess waited until she closed the door before he jumped up and grabbed his phone off the kitchen counter. He called Cammie and cursed when it didn't go through. He tried again and again. He tried one last time and Cammie picked up.

"I'm on my way," Cammie told him.

"What? How?" Jess asked her confused.

"Jessie," was all Cammie answered, "See you in five."

"Okay," Jess replied as he quickly disconnected the call and sat back down on the floor. It seemed as though both Jessie and himself had the exact same idea. If anyone was good at breaking awkwardness then it was Cammie. Jessie exited the bathroom a minute later and took her seat across from Jess again.

"Anything good happen when I was in the bathroom?" Jessie asked and she mentally slapped herself for how stupid she sounded.

Jess smiled at her. "No. Anything interesting happen in the bathroom that I may have missed."

"Funny, but no."

"So?" Jess questioned again, wondering if Jessie was going to bring up her call with Cammie.

"So?" Jessie responded. "Come on, Cammie..." Jess heard her faintly mutter.

"What?" Jess asked hoping for clarification.

"Nothing."

Jess looked at Jessie, she was focusing on her beer bottle again. He wondered why they were so awkward, why they were so nervous. They had been alone before and they never had a problem, so why did they have a problem now? Jess frowned, he had no idea. He finished off his beer and stood up.

"You want another?" Jess asked Jessie as he made his way to the fridge.

"Sure," Jessie answered just as there was a frantic knocking downstairs. "You get the beers and I'll get the door."

Jess was just about to protest, to tell Jessie that he would go and answer the door, but when he turned around she was already gone. He turned back to the fridge and grabbed out a third beer for Cammie. He sat them on the counter and waited nervously behind them. "How much stuff did you bring?" he heard Jessie say from halfway down the stairs. Followed by a lot of bangs and crashes, before a strained, "door Jess."

Jess jumped to attention and moved swiftly to the door. He smiled when he saw what greeted him on the other side. Both Cammie and Jessie were laden down with several items. "Cammie, always a pleasure," Jess smirked at her.

"Move," Cammie replied as she forcefully pushed past Jess and proceeded to dump everything she was carrying onto the living room floor.

"So?" Jess asked after Jessie had entered and proceeded to do the same thing as Cammie, dropping everything on the ground. "I'm almost fearful to ask, what is all this?"

"This?" Cammie said motioning towards a fairly big pile of things on the floor. "This is nothing, yet."

Jess looked on amazed as Cammie seemingly constructed a living room, akin to that of a trailer park standard, right in front of him. It consisted of three foldout chairs, arranged in a semi circle. A crate, or what appeared to be some form of wooden crate, a top of which sat a bright pink portable dvd player, or so Jess guessed. It seemed as though Cammie had thought of everything as there was even a red rug, that looked suspiciously like a bathmat, and sitting on the bathmat was a small foldout table.

"Nothing?" Jess questioned half confused and half amazed. Literally five minutes before his living room was completely bare, and now, well it was a good as any living room.

"Thank god," Jessie said as she grabbed a beer off the counter before collapsing into the closest chair, "that floor is hard."

"Well?" Cammie asked, trying to break Jess out of his thoughts.

"It's, good," Jess finally replied before grabbing the two remaining beers off the kitchen counter, handing one to Cammie, "thank you."

"No problem," Cammie smiled once she knew that Jess was seemingly fine with what she had done. She sometimes found that she could overstep when it came to things like this, but thankfully Jess didn't seem to mind. "Have a seat," Cammie told Jess excitedly before making her way over to the portable dvd player.

"What are we watching?" Jess asked, taking the seat farthest from Jessie, leaving the middle seat for Cammie to act as a buffer if things became awkward again.

"_Legally Blonde_," Cammie all but squealed as she pushed play and took her seat in the middle.

Jess groaned, "I just love how this has turned into some quasi housewarming party regardless of what I wanted."

"Oh, you want it, you just don't know it yet," Cammie smiled at him.

"At least it's not _Titanic_," Jessie told him and he frowned. How was it that they could joke around now with Cammie there, no awkwardness present? He didn't understand it. Jessie noticing the frown and wanting to eradicate it, "Hey, you don't want to call Matt and Chris up? I'm sure that they'd love to watch some Reese."

"Umm," Jess said pretending to think about it, "No. I think they'll survive with missing this movie." Cammie burst out laughing followed quickly by Jessie. "What?" Jess asked them confused and somewhat self conscious, what did he just say, he tried to remember but nothing he just said had been laugh worthy. "What?" he repeated.

"With you turning down the option of inviting Matt and Chris," Cammie said still smiling like an idiot, "Well, you effectively made this a girls night in."

"Great," Jess replied sarcastically, he didn't really care. He'd rather deal with Cammie and Jessie right now, then have to explain to Matt and Chris why he bought an apartment attached to a business space.

"Okay, no more talking," Cammie said and Jess scoffed, like Cammie would be able to keep her mouth shut for more than five minutes, "I'm pressing play."

The movie started and Jess was thankful that they just watched it and nothing else. Sure Cammie and Jessie were reciting lines and laughing hysterically, all the stuff girls usually do when watching movies together, but thankfully Jess seemed to be excluded. He just sat there and watched the movie, and tried desperately not to connect the antics of his two friends sitting next to him with a certain brown haired, blue eyed mother-daughter duo, and he found it was easier to do than he thought it would be. Jess stretched his legs out in front of him as soon as the credits started rolling, the movie wasn't as bad as he was expecting it to be, a little cliché, but not overly so.

"So?" Cammie and Jessie asked him expectantly, "how was it?" Jessie added excitedly.

"Alright," was Jess' only reply and Cammie sighed.

"Oh, I have a question for you," Jessie said before turning red with embarrassment, now Jess was intrigued.

"What?" he asked when she didn't continue.

"Umm," Jessie faltered, the red still tinting her cheeks.

"Just say it," Cammie told her.

"Okay. Well, do guys, you know, actually find that attractive," Jess looked at her confused, "umm, you know, the 'bend and snap'?"

Oh, Jess thought and then smiled. He'd never really thought about it, sure it was good when someone reached over to pick up a pen and they had a really short skirt on. "Why don't you demonstrate the move and I'll let you know," Jess spoke before his brain even registered.

Jessie turned another shade brighter and was going to refuse, when she shared a look with Cammie that Jess could not follow at all.

"Remember the words of Maurice," Cammie told her, Jess still had no idea what they were talking about, but Jessie seemed to gain some form of confidence from whatever the hell was going on.

"What was that?" Jess whispered to Cammie quickly as Jessie psyched herself up.

"I was just referencing the movie," Cammie whispered back. "Maybe if you watched the movie then you would know."

"I did watch the movie," Jess replied, once again trying to figure it out, maybe he'd have to watch it again.

Cammie cleared her throat and Jess immediately turned his attention to Jessie. He watched as she slowly bent down, held it for a few seconds, before bouncing back up suddenly and 'accidentally' pushing her boobs up and together. Jess just sat there stunned, Jessie wasn't wearing a skirt or anything, but he'd be lying if he said that he didn't feel anything.

"How many beers have I had?" Jess thought out loud.

"Two," Cammie answered smiling, "you were so enthralled with the movie you never even left your seat."

Jess looked back at Jessie, he expected her to be waiting for his response, but she seemed fine with his lack of response. He followed her with his eyes as she sat back down and started to pull the label off her beer bottle. What the hell just happened, Jess thought to himself. He couldn't take his eyes off her now. Half of him was wondering what was going on, and the other half of his brain was trying to formulate a plan to get Cammie to leave so they were alone again. Did the bend and snap really work like this, Jess was so confused.

"Your turn Jess," Cammie told him quickly.

"What? Yes," Jess replied just as quick. He didn't hear Cammie's question but he didn't want them to know that Jessie's bend and snap had affected him so much.

Cammie clapped her hands together excitedly and Jess finally broke free from his Jessie stupor.

"What did I just agree to?" Jess asked Cammie regretfully.

"You just agreed to be the next one to demonstrate the bend and snap," Jessie answered smiling, thankful that she would not be the only one doing it tonight.

"Yeah, we want to see what effect it has on us when a guy does it," Cammie told him.

"You're gay," Jess said to Cammie but stood up regardless, "you probably won't even be interested."

"We'll see," Cammie smiled at him, "get to it."

Jess stood up and faced away from them. He took a couple of deep breaths, what the hell was he doing, why the hell was he doing this, and then he had a plan. He was going to do the best bend and snap ever, he wanted to affect Jessie as much as she had affected him. An eye for an eye. He steeled his nerves once more. Squared his shoulders giving off an air of confidence. He bent down so slowly, but oh, so smoothly, making sure that the view for the two girls, Jessie in particular, was a good one. He stayed bent one beat longer than Jessie before snapping back up as fast as he could. He turned around to face them and smirked at what he saw. Both girls had their mouths wide open in shock.

Jess grabbed another beer from the fridge before sitting back down in his seat. He just sat and waited for them to come around. Maybe there was some magical powers associated with the bend and snap he thought. Cammie and Jessie were still silent, but Jess was glad that they had closed their mouths at least. Cammie's eyes suddenly shifted and her gaze became predatory. Jess swallowed thickly. "Cammie?" he asked leaning as far away from her as he could possibly get.

"I want you," Cammie spoke, leaning forward in her chair.

"You do-don't want me," Jess faltered jumping up out of his chair, but not before tripping over the handle and crashing to the floor.

Cammie burst out laughing whilst Jessie rushed to his aid, "are you alright Jess?" she asked concerned.

"Fine," Jess gritted as he stood up with the help from Jessie. He glared at Cammie the first chance he got. "You're lucky I value our friendship," Jess told her harshly and Cammie knew immediately that she had just grabbed the bull by the horns, but she didn't seem to care.

"It was hot Jess, no doubt, I mean I felt something, but-" Thankfully Jessie cut her off before she said something she might regret.

"You're bleeding Jess," Jess brought his hand up to his left eyebrow, where it was throbbing with pain, and found a small cut.

He looked down at the exposed floorboards of his living room and found an exposed nail he must have fallen on. "I'm fine," Jess reassured her, this was a flesh wound to him, nothing to worry about, he'd had worse.

"You're not fine, you're bleeding," Jessie said almost frantically as she went over to her bag.

"I'm fine," Jess tried to reassure her, but as quickly as she was gone she was back in front of him. "What?" Jess asked confused as he saw her coming at him with something.

"Hold still," Jessie told him as she pulled the paper off the Band-Aid and stuck it down over the cut above his eyebrow. "There, all better," she smiled at him.

"I don't know," Jess said momentarily dazed by how close they were and by the events that had just transpired, "it still hurts, maybe you could kiss it better."

Jess leant down and Jessie tangled her hands in Jess' hair before lightly placing a kiss above Jess' eye, right on top of the Band-Aid.

"Get a room," Cammie announced from behind Jessie and Jess flipped her off.

"Thanks," Jess breathed before taking a step back.

As soon as he was in Cammie's line of sight she burst out laughing.

"Cammie, if you don't want to lose something precious then you better stop laughing at me," Jess turned serious once again. He knew Cammie meant no harm, but he didn't like being laughed at, it brought back way too many unwanted memories.

Cammie stopped laughing immediately, but she was still clearly amused. "Jess, I had no idea that you loved _Hello, Kitty!_ that much."

"What?" Jess asked confused before the realization dawned on him. He touched the Band-Aid above his eye briefly. "You didn't?" Jess accused Jessie. "First a sparkly _Hello, Kitty!_ glitter pen and now a freaking _Hello, Kitty! _Band-Aid. You have a serious problem."

"It was a _Hello, Kitty! _store, it was... heaven. I could not be held responsible for anything and everything that I may or may not have purchased in that store," Jessie replied as she retook her seat next to Cammie.

"And I repeat, you have a problem," Jess said as he retook his seat.

"We all have problems," Cammie said before adding, "now who's ready for _Legally Blonde 2_?"

"There's another one, why?" Jess asked the two girls confused, "what more do we need to see?"

"Umm," Cammie faltered.

"He does have a point," Jessie agreed, "the second one is just a crappy repeat of the first one."

"Well I like it," Cammie told them crossing her arms, "and we are going to watch it, oh wait, I just remembered." Cammie jumped up and went over to her bag. Jess and Jessie shared a confused look. "Here," Cammie said as she handed Jess a wrapped present.

"What's this?" Jess asked her confused as he sat his beer down on the foldout table.

"A housewarming present," Cammie said excitedly as she jumped up and down excitedly.

"Okay," Jess said skeptically as he unwrapped the present, "wow, an empty photo frame," he said sarcastically.

"It's to put your housewarming photo in," Cammie told him as she swatted him across the chest lightly.

"What?" Jess asked her completely confused.

"We're going to take a photo," Cammie said as she showed Jess her camera.

"Do we have to?" Jess groaned.

"Don't you want a photo to remember this night by?" Cammie asked him.

"No, I'm good thanks," Jess teased her, he knew that Cammie would get her way regardless. "I think I can remember it fine, I don't need the photographic evidence."

"Too bad, we're doing this," Cammie walked over to the kitchen counter and sat the camera down. "I'll set it on timer and we can all get in. Make it fun everyone, this is going to stay in Jess' house forever. Okay, timer is set. Ten seconds."

Cammie pulled Jessie up and dragged her over to where Jess stood. "Make this good or I'll kill both of you," Cammie threatened.

Jess stood to the side, Cammie in the middle, and Jessie on Cammie's left. Jess felt stiff and he didn't want to do this, but he was going to do it for Cammie. Plus, the idea of having a physical memento of this night, of his first ever housewarming party didn't exactly seem like a bad idea either. Jess finally smiled, an idea forming in his head, he stepped back slightly so Cammie wouldn't see what he was doing until it was already taken. The timer stopped, the camera flashed, and it forever captured Jess in the latter part of the bend and snap. Hands up to his chest, pushing his imaginary boobs up, all complete with a ridiculous smile on his face, as he knew Cammie would love it.

"Great!" Cammie said excitedly, not even bothering to check the photo. "Time for _Legally Blonde 2_."

Jess didn't even protest this time round, he just took his seat and relished in the fact that he was in his very own apartment, with two people that he could call his friends, and the thought of _her_ hadn't even crossed his mind all night, only in one fleeting moment.

"Hey Jess," Jessie spoke and Jess looked over at her. "It's going to be a great photo," she told him surely.

"Yeah? Why's that?" He asked wondering if she had seen what he had done.

"Because you have a _Hello, Kitty! _Band-Aid on your face," Jessie said before bursting out in laughter, Cammie quickly joined in, and Jess found himself smiling. He didn't care, this was turning out to be a night that he never wanted to forget, and now he wouldn't.

"Let's just watch the movie," Jess said in mock annoyance, huge smile still gracing his face.

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**A/N: **Review if we made you laugh/smile, or just review anyway.


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N**: Another chapter, which I had trouble ending, because Jess was in one of his moods where he keeps me hanging... Or something like it. I tried to google the GED-stuff as thoroughly as I could, but when it comes to the "procedures" and how the whole thing is structured, there is very little info to find, so sorry if anything is not depicted as it should be... Enjoy the chapter! Personally, I'm already looking forward to what Kass will write for the next one!

**Disclaimer**: We still own nothing but Cammie. And Jessie. And Jake and Reg's personalities, I think.

* * *

The next day felt almost like a repeat of the day before, at least the first half of it. Jess got up early, had breakfast (and smiled at the three foldout chairs, the mat and the crate Cammie had left), then snuck out to take the bus to the college for the two following GED-exams.

He had had to almost forcibly kick Cammie and Jessie out last night. They wouldn't stop giggling and doing the bend-and-snap. Cammie had snapped a bunch of candid photos, most of which depicted Jess sitting on one of the foldouts with a skeptic look on his face. Seriously, what little he had actually seen of _Legally Blonde 2_ had made him question the world as it was. He even feared his IQ had been severely reduced, which didn't provide him with the best of prospects. Today was the Reading and Writing portion of the GED-tests, and he needed to be sharp. Now more than ever did he want to ace a test, and here was a prime opportunity.

When he got to the college and had registered for the two tests, he carefully looked around the room. It was with an immense feeling of relief he realized there was no Caleb there. Neither did he recognize any of the other test-takers. He could relax and just sit back, waiting to be summoned into the classroom. He picked up a tattered pocket version of _The Picture of Dorian Gray_. He rather enjoyed Wilde, mostly because of the language, but _Dorian Gray_ had a certain dark quality that Jess wasn't sure he should like as much as he did.

The same woman in the same green suit called for them to enter the classroom ten minutes later. Jess took the same seat he had yesterday, putting the book back in his messenger bag.

"This is the Reading-part of the Language Arts-section," the woman declared when everyone had settled down. "You will have 65 minutes to complete the test, which consists of 40 questions."

She then repeated the monotonous lecture about not cheating, and Jess tuned her out. He was focused on the test, and once the test landed in front of him, he kept his eyes trained on it until he heard the lady declare: "You may now begin". Quick as lightning, he flipped the paper, jotting down his name, and eyed through the questions and the assigned texts. They had to be kidding him. Among the assigned material for the different sections were Hemingway, Wilde, Bukowski and Frost. Were they making this easy for him on purpose? He set to answering the questions with a feverish intensity. Unlike the day before, when he had been one of the first to turn in his finished test, he sat long after the supervisor announced that those who were finished could turn in their tests. He was a bit peeved that this was a multiple choice-test. Had it been an essay based test, he could've written an entire book. There were so many perspectives to look at things from, so many premises and suppositions to challenge. His mind kept throwing new things at him, new angles, symbols that could be interpreted.

Two hours later, when he took parts one and two for the writing-portion of the test, he wasn't as excited. Part one was multiple choice questions again, and he droned through them without much excitement. When he moved on to the essay he wasn't too impressed, either. The topics were generic and none offered the kind of challenge that would spur him on to write because it was interesting. Still, he only had 45 minutes to complete the essay, so he chose the least boring of the topics and began writing. They had all been advised to thoroughly plan their essays, but Jess was never one for planning. He wrote what came to him. Sure, he would take the time to proofread before he turned the essay in, but planning out the essay paragraph by paragraph wasn't his style. Hell, he had written an entire book without planning the chapters. An essay would be a walk in the park in comparison.

This time, they all turned in their essay at the same time, and Jess was satisfied with his. He was fairly sure that he'd get an okay score for it, and that the amount of bullshit he had thrown in for good measure wasn't too obvious. He left the college, feeling a lot lighter. The sky was clear and the sun shone. It was almost too cliché to be true. He didn't have the heart to complain, though. This was one of those rare occasions when the world didn't suck, when Destiny didn't seem to have it in for him. The bus ride back was painless and short, and he walked from the bus stop with a silly grin on his face. He'd done good. He'd been more than good. He'd killed that test.

Five minutes later, he sauntered into _Stampede_, ready to just bask in the awesomeness of the moment. Cammie was working, and she spotted him as soon as he walked in. She came thundering at him, grabbing hold of the collar of his shirt and dragged him in behind the counter with a wild look on her face.

"What the hell is your problem?" he hissed, rubbing his neck where the neckline of the shirt had chafed against his skin.

"You need to talk to Chris and Matt," Cammie replied urgently, hands on her hips.

"What? I told you, I would..."

"Chris came in today, and asked me if you were squatting."

"He what?" Jess exclaimed, and noticed how a few of the customers looked up at them.

"Yup," Cammie affirmed in a hushed tone. "He came barging in and just asked. Said he'd seen you sneak out of some empty building up on Cedar yesterday. I told him to take his meds and go away, but he kept on asking where you were."

"Did you tell him?" He could feel his entire being settle into full preparedness, ready to fight or flee.

"Do I look stupid to you?" she replied, and her voice took on a slightly high pitched quality. "Of course I didn't tell him! I said you worked here, and that I didn't keep tabs on you, 'cause I ain't you mom. Then he asked me if you weren't living with me, and if maybe Jessie knew where you were. He was giving me the third degree, man."

"But you didn't tell him?"

"Duh, did I not just say I didn't tell him squat? I had to shut him up somehow, so I... God, you so owe me for this.. I leaned over the counter." Jess just looked at her, not getting what she was trying to say. She rolled her eyes, and continued: "Like, really leaned."

"I'm still not..." Jess began, furrowing his brow.

"Oh, for the love of Gandalf, I almost flashed him!"

"Who, Gandalf?"

"No, you twit! Chris! God! It took a long time before Chris noticed, and there was this guy behind him that kept ogling me."

Cammie scrunched up her face and automatically pulled up the neckline of her halter neck top at the mention of the incident.

"And Chris fell for that?" Jess questioned, a little stunned.

"Please, he's a guy," she scoffed. "When he finally noticed he was putty in my hand. He wobbled out of here, looking all dopey. Pity his rambling had to delay the effect, because now I've got a perv sitting in the corner waiting for me to go Girls Gone Wild."

Jess looked over his shoulder, and sure enough, in one of the corner booths, there was a guy with his eye trained on Cammie.

"I will talk to them when I get my diploma," he said, turning back to Cammie. She gave him a desperate, pleading look. Jess sighed. "Fine. When I've finished all the tests, then, that's my last offer. Don't tell them anything. Do not flash them. And do not kill that guy in the corner."

Cammie instantly lit up, all smiles and sparkle in her eyes, and stuck out her tongue.

"You're boring. What can I do, then?" she said, and looked over his shoulder towards the ogler. Jess didn't particularly like the way she looked. It meant she was scheming, and he really didn't want to get dragged into it.

"Do you think it would be possible for you to act human?" he deadpanned, cocking an eyebrow.

"Ba-doom-doom-pssh!" Cammie mock-drummed on an invisible drum set.

"Yeah, well, I had to at least ask. Hey, will you come over and get your stuff later?"

"Stuff?" Cammie asked confused, flipping her hair.

"The chairs and the rug and all that," Jess explained.

Cammie stopped teasing the ogler, and her expression softened as she looked at Jess.

"Oh, Jess, that was a gift. It's not like I have used the foldouts recently, and I buy a new rug every other month because I get bored with the color."

"Okay..." Jess commented, feeling like he should say something more to thank Cammie. He just couldn't come up with anything good. "Um... Okay, I'll see you tomorrow then."

He exited _Stampede_, and began walking home. His bright mood was now suddenly nowhere to be found. Instead, he kept glancing over his shoulder, half-expecting to see Matt and Chris crouching behind a trash can or a bus stop. Jess tried telling himself that it was just paranoia, that Matt and Chris wouldn't be so dimwitted. He immediately had to stop and reevaluate that statement. They picked him up off the street, they knew which benches on which streets were good to sleep on, they handed out handwritten business cards, and Matt had never left Pennsylvania.

Sure, they could be kooky enough to try to tail him. Just to be sure, he took a detour home, walking around most of the Cedar Park-area before he ventured home. Unlocking the front door didn't feel like the everyday task it was anymore. Now Jess felt the compulsion to make sure no one saw him enter or exit his home. If that wasn't indicative of a hermit in the making, he didn't know what was.

In the comfort of his own home, he felt safe. Or rather, safer. Unless he danced naked, covered in jelly in front of any of the windows facing the street, he was safe. He took to peeking out through them whenever he was home, but never saw any sign of his former co-publishers. On the other hand, he learned a great deal about the people living on his street. Like this one man, who always had lunch at Jimmy Soong's after discarding the contents of his lunch box, and a woman who always wandered around the block three times at night before disappearing to wherever she was going. Jess knew he should relax, that it would all soon be over. But next week couldn't come soon enough.

At work, Cammie kept giving him begging glances. She wanted him to fix things pronto, so she could get rid of her persistent admirer, who kept coming to _Stampede_ every day just to look at Cammie. She had stayed true to her word about not killing him, but Jess had a sneaking suspicion that once he had talked to Chris and Matt, all bets were off for Cammie's part. He actually felt a little sorry for the poor bastard.

During the weekend Jess asked Jessie to help him with some last minute-revising for the Science-part, figuring he had read enough on his own to be able to pass the Social Studies-test. Both he and Jessie worked on Saturday, overlapping shifts, and Jessie would quiz him whenever they didn't have customers in line. And, seeing as Cammie had the day off, there weren't too many customers. Even the ogler left pretty quickly once he realized Cammie wasn't there.

Jess kept a close eye on Jessie. Had Matt and Chris contacted her? Cammie had said Chris had asked if Jessie knew what he was up to... Had Reg tried contacting her? He couldn't get anything from her behavior, she seemed okay enough. She laughed and joked like she used to, and pushed him to memorize the most obscure facts. He cracked a few times, finding the finer points of genetics a complete waste of time. She kept nagging until he snapped at her to go pester someone else, and she backed off for a whole ten minutes. Then they brushed over the rest of the genetics-chapter and moved on.

After he went off his shift that afternoon, he spent the evening holed up in the apartment, reading _The Picture of Dorian Gray _ and downing the last of the beer he had left from the enforced housewarming party. He fell asleep in the foldout chair he was sitting in, dreaming of seeing his own portrait turn to dust as someone was laughing in the background.

He awoke to the grating sound of his cell phone ringing, and he groaned loudly when he tried to get out of the chair and realized what a stupid move it had been to fall asleep in it. His neck was stiff, his limbs ached, and it felt like his phone was miles away.

"Hello?" he grumbled sourly, when he finally got hold of the offensive thing.

"Were you in a coma?" came Jessie's sprightly voice.

"If I say yes, can I slip back into it?"

"Someone sounds hung over. Get dressed and come on down, I'm taking you out."

"I'm... What? You're outside?"

"I've been knocking for, like, five minutes. I didn't find any pebbles to throw at your window," Jessie replied with a snort.

"Are... are you alone?" Jess asked suspiciously. The last thing he needed now was an intervention.

"Of course I'm alone. Cammie's working today."

He sighed and massaged his left temple.

"Fine... I'll be down in five minutes."

Five minutes turned out to be more like ten. He changed clothes, put away the empty beer bottles, brushed his teeth and searched forever for his keys (in the pocket of his jeans) before stumbling down the stairs and out the door. Jessie stood waiting for him just outside, looking so fresh and perky it almost nauseated him. The four beers in combination with the lousy surrogate for a bed he'd slept in had given him something that felt like the meanest hangover known to man.

"Someone woke up in the wrong side today," Jessie commented, and Jess could tell she found his disheveled appearance amusing.

"I hate Cammie's chairs," he muttered to himself.

"I can see brunch is out of the question. You need the oldest sobering up-trick in the book."

She grabbed hold of him and began walking down the street. He didn't have enough strength or willpower to tell her to let go of him, or even ask where they were going and what trick she was talking about. Jess zoned out, only focusing on not stumbling over, and not entirely falling asleep. They crisscrossed their way through Cedar Park, and he briefly noticed they passed that park bench he had slept on when he came to Philly.

They finally stopped, and Jessie happily chirped they had arrived. He looked up, and only thought: "Right, that trick..." His mind was still half-asleep, trying to regain some of the hours he lost to the uncomfortable chair. Jessie seemed to take this as a good sign, and dragged him inside. They queued for a while, until it was their turn to order.

"Hi, may I..." a familiar voice began, but then immediately stopped. Something nagged at Jess's consciousness. That voice. This place. So familiar.

No.

No, no, no, no, no.

No.

He snapped his head up and squared in on Jessie. She looked at him with a guilty kind of smile on her face. She had not just done this. Then Jess slowly turned his head, and looked the owner of the familiar voice right in the face.

"Jess. Hi," said Matt, nervously fidgeting with his McDonald's-cap.

* * *

**A/N**: Sneaky girl, that Jessie, huh? Leave us a review and tell us what you thought.


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N**: Hi guys! Thought you were getting rid of us? Not a chance, Cedar Park is still alive and kicking. That said, we're sorry for the hiatus we pulled on you. Both of us have been busy, bothwith writing our stories on our personal accounts and with our private lives. But the gang has not let us forget about them, they've been nagging us about finishing the chapter. We really didn't have much choice. Enjoy the chapter!

**Disclaimer**: We do not own any of the Gilmore Girls characters. Cammie and Jessie are ours, though.

* * *

_"Hi, may I..." a familiar voice began, but then immediately stopped. Something nagged at Jess's consciousness. That voice. This place. So familiar._

_No._

_No, no, no, no, no._

_No._

_He snapped his head up and squared in on Jessie. She looked at him with a guilty kind of smile on her face. She had not just done this. Then Jess slowly turned his head, and looked the owner of the familiar voice right in the face._

_"Jess. Hi," said Matt, nervously fidgeting with his McDonald's-cap._

"No." It was all Jess could say, he was too shocked to move.

Jessie concernedly looked up at Jess before turning her attention back to Matt. "We're going to need a minute to decide," she said before pulling Jess away from the counter.

"What the hell?" Jess turned his focus to Jessie. "What are we doing here?" He didn't know how to feel; angry or betrayed. He knew he wasn't ready to face them, not yet, not without a diploma, not without proof that he was worth it, proof that he'd make a good business partner.

"Don't shoot the messenger," Jessie held her hands up in front of her. "Cammie's stalker is starting to step it up a notch, she needs you to fix this."

"I can fix that problem, it doesn't have to be this way, not when it's not on my terms."

"Jess, you're irrational, you're sticking to what you said in the beginning, which is great, but things can change, plans can change. Just talk to him."

"No," Jess said firmly before leaving McDonald's and Jessie behind.

"Jess? Where are you going?" Jessie yelled out from the doorway.

"To _Stampede_," Jess called back. "I'm going to fix this problem. No stalker, no need to talk to Matt and Chris."

He found himself almost running through Cedar Park trying to get to _Stampede_, to Cammie, to fix all this. He finally made it and he burst through the door. All eyes were on him including Cammie and her stalker who was sitting in the corner. He didn't waste any time. He strode behind the counter, wrapped one arm around Cammie and tangled the other one in her hair before giving her a kiss that left her lightheaded. He said no more, just left her standing there wondering what the hell had just happened, and walked out the door. He had always been good at leaving.

"Hey," someone gruffed out behind Jess.

"What?" Jess spun around, he still wasn't in the best of moods, and coming face to face with Cammie's stalker wasn't going to help anything. "Just stay out of this," Jess warned him before turning back around.

"No," the guy said as he placed a hand on Jess' shoulder.

Jess didn't hesitate. He spun around quickly and hit the guy right in the side of his face. Then the anger overtook. He could feel it surging through him, wanting nothing more than to pound away, taking out all of his worries and anger out on this guy, on Cammie's stalker. He grabbed the guy by the shirt and pulled him into the nearby alley. He pushed him down to the ground and raised his fist. Violence, it never solved anything but it always made him feel better. That was what he was remembering right now. The times he swung at Dean, how he wanted to hurt him so badly. Hurt him just because he had Rory. He wanted Rory so badly that he was willing to swing at Dean just because it felt good. But what now? This guy had done nothing to him and Jess realized that. Cammie's stalker was not the reason he was angry. No, it was all him and his inability to let others in. He knew the real reason he hadn't told Matt and Chris yet, and this guy had nothing to do with it, nothing at all. He lowered his fist.

"Get out of here," Jess hissed at the guy and he hightailed it out of there, never looking back.

Jess backed against the wall behind him before sliding down. He hit the ground with a soft thud and his head came to rest between his knees.

"What did I do?" Jess whispered to himself.

He had been all ready to beat this guy up for no reason at all. So eager to resort to his old ways, and for what? Because he was afraid. Afraid that when he told his grand plan to Matt and Chris they would shoot him down, tell him they wouldn't be on board, that they didn't believe in him. And he couldn't have that, he wouldn't, no. He could still feel his anger coursing through him, it wasn't letting up. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He scrolled through the list of contacts before nervously hovering over the send button. He took a deep breath and hit send.

"Luke's Diner, please hold," came Luke's familiar voice. Jess could hear that the diner was busy, as usual.

"Luke, you can't just leave someone on hold like that," Jess could hear Lorelai say before a rustling came across the phone.

"Can I help you?" Lorelai sounded off. She wasn't herself Jess noted.

"Ah, yeah," he cleared his throat and lowered his voice. "Just need to talk to Luke."

"Who's calling?" Lorelai probed. Something was definitely wrong, Lorelai hadn't cracked one joke yet.

"Jack Dawkins," Jess answered smoothly, even though Lorelai was throwing him off.

"He won't be a moment."

Seriously, what was going on there? Jess reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette. He hadn't smoked in a long time, but he felt as though he needed one right now. He took the first drag as he listened to Lorelai's breathing on the other end, something definitely was wrong, she was silent. Jess took another drag, this phone call wasn't helping him out like planned. He thought Luke's voice would calm him down, show him reason, but it seemed as though Luke already had a lot to deal with. He was about to hang up when he heard her voice.

"Who's on the phone?"

He didn't know why but as soon as her words floated over him he began to calm down. Her voice was always so soft, so cautious. She always thought twice before saying anything.

"Umm, Jack Dawkins," Lorelai answered.

"Jack Dawkins?" He could hear Rory's breath catch, she knew who it was, how could she not. There was a pause. "Give me the phone."

"What?" Lorelai was confused.

Jess could hang up, he knew that there was still time, but he found that he didn't want to. He needed to hear her voice, just needed to hear her, she'd calm him down.

"Hello?" Jess' chest rose up but was somewhat deflated when he recognized Luke's gruff tone.

"Luke, it's Jess," came Jess' shaky reply. He looked down at his cigarette and noted that he had subconsciously stubbed it out when talking to Rory, well, hearing Rory's voice actually.

"Jess?" Luke questioned followed by Lorelai saying the exact same thing.

The last time he had talked to Lorelai on the phone it had been good, but he didn't need good right now.

"Luke," his voice came out even more shaky.

"Jess, what's wrong? Are you okay? What did you do?" Came Luke's frantic yet accusatory questions.

"I didn't do anything. I nearly beat up a guy for no reason, but I didn't. I came so close though."

"Why, Jess? I thought you were doing good." Luke was concerned.

"I was, I am. It just all got too much. People were pulling me in all different directions. I was questioning myself. I just snapped, but I held back. I don't know."

"Tell me what you need, Jess, you know I'm here for you," Luke's desperate voice washed over Jess. The familiarity calming him down even further.

"I don't know, just keep talking, please," Jess struggled with resisting lighting up another cigarette.

"Hold on I'm going to grab the other phone. Lorelai?"

"Don't worry, Luke, Rory and I will look after the diner."

"Lorelai," Luke hissed. Everyone still thought that the names Rory and Jess should be never mentioned in front of the other in fear that everything would turn for the worse.

Jess frowned at them. He was at a stage now where he could hear Rory's name, even hear her talk, and he'd be fine. He hardly even thought of her anymore and when she did sneak into his subconscious it was always good thoughts, no longing, no despair, nothing.

Luke finally picked up the upstairs phone and spoke. "How are you now?" He asked cautiously.

"Better," Jess breathed out, he had calmed down a lot now. He didn't want to punch anything anymore, he didn't want a cigarette either. He tossed it away. "What's going on there?"

"Ah," Luke faltered. "Just stuff."

"Luke, you're talking to me, king of subterfuge. What's going on?"

"Nothing."

Incredible. Luke had a good 20 years on him, and he still couldn't lie convincingly. Except that one time, with his car.

"Come on, what gives?"

For a moment, there was complete silence on the other end, and Jess almost thought he'd cracked his uncle. Then:

"Al came in wearing his assless chaps again."

Jess groaned. Really? Luke had to drag that up? He remembered all too well the marathon dance and the crazy outfits, one of them being Al and his chaps. If there ever was a good reason for having his mouth plastered to Shane's, besides the obvious one, it was to be sucked away from the sight of a grown man wearing assless chaps.

"Aw, jeez, now I'm gonna need bleach..."

"You think? I actually had to throw him out," Luke said with a chuckle.

"Disturbing the peace?"

"Disturbing Patty more like it."

"She ganging up for husband number five?"

"God, I hope not..."

Silence took over once again. For what seemed like a long time they just listened to each other, and it felt... okay. Knowing Luke was there, on the other end, however far away. Jess sighed, and ran his free hand through his hair.

"Sorry for calling out of the blue and going all postal on you," he finally said.

"No biggie. You know you can always call, Jess. No matter what. You're a great kid."

"You've said that on occasion. It's just... I'm trying to do the right thing here, I really am. I want this to turn out good, and I want to do it my way, but it's just so... so..."

"Hard," Luke filled in knowingly.

Hard, yeah. As if anything in Jess Mariano's life would be easy, he thought.

"Exactly." Pause. "Well... I guess I gotta go sort out this mess. No one else will, though it's not for lack of trying."

"You go get 'em."

"Talk to you later, Luke."

"Bye Jess."

"Oh, and Luke?" Jess interjected just before Luke was about to hang up.

"It's okay, you know."

"What?"

"To say her name. It's okay to bring up Rory."

"Oh. Okay. So... Yeah. Bye, Jess."

They hung up, and Jess put his phone back in his pocket. He realized he hadn't found out what Luke was trying to hide. He'd definitely have to call Liz sometime soon and find out what was up. If anyone was able to get dirt on Luke it was Liz. But for now he had his own dirt to sort out. He headed out of the alley, towards home. He'd eat, and then try to figure out what to do.

He was almost back at the apartment when his phone began ringing. Cammie, of course.

"What the hell, Jess?" she hissed at him as soon as he answered the call.

"Cam-"

"No. No, mister, you listen, I talk. What the hell got into you back there? God, you don't just walk up to your boss and plant a kiss on them like that. Do you know how embarrassing that was once you walked out? People looked at me like I was insane! And what did you do to my stalker? Did you... You didn't kill him, did you, Jess?"

"You done now?"

"Yes. But I'm still mad at you. Doesn't matter that you kiss like God's glory."

"Jessie took me to see Matt," Jess let out, turning on to Cedar Avenue.

"She did? What happened? Did you kill someone?"

"Okay, what's up with you thinking I'm a homicidal loon?"

"Sorry, go on."

"Jessie thought she'd, I don't know, speed things ahead, so she took me to see Matt in hopes that we'd make up so you could get rid of your creepy stalker guy. I kind of flipped. I wanted to do this my way, and then she just... hijacked my plan and I'm done with that. I didn't want any help. I told her I'd fix your problem and stormed out. Enter Jess going postal at Stampede. And for the record, I didn't kill the guy, but I'm pretty sure he won't bother you anymore."

"And for the record, I advised Jessie against butting into your business the day she started," Cammie deadpanned. "No offense."

"None, taken. Could you maybe refresh her memory on that point when you see her next time?"

"I'll make a note of it."

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow?" Jess said, stopping outside the door to the apartment, trying to find his keys without dropping the phone.

"May the Force be with you and make it so," Cammie replied and hung up on him.

Jess put away the phone and jimmied with the key to open the door. He snuck in, navigating up the stairs and into the living room. Turning on the light, he tossed his bag on the couch and headed for the kitchen. His stomach growled when he opened the fridge. No wonder he'd been surly, he hadn't eaten all day, seeing as he'd stormed out of McDonald's. He fixed himself a sandwich and a cup of coffee, picking up one of the books he'd borrowed for his final GED-exam. Social Studies. Only math had been more frightening. Social Studies encompassed so much, so many different areas, so much knowledge to commit to memory.

He was halfway through American history, trying to keep all the important battles of the civil war from getting mixed up when he heard a distinct thud from downstairs. Jess put down the book, and glanced at the clock on the wall to his left. 5 pm. Did door salesmen come around at that time? He decided to ignore the heavy knocking, but to no avail. Whoever was on the other side of the door kept banging. Finally, Jess couldn't stand it. He quickly made his way downstairs, opening the door as he irritably said:

"I don't care. I don't want your vacuum filters, magazines or girl scout cookies..."

He froze when he saw who it was. Matt and Chris stood staring at him like they'd seen a ghost. Neither of the three guys said a word for what felt like minutes, but in the real world it was probably more like three seconds.

"Too bad, I was just about to recommend the Tagalongs," Chris then quipped, and looked expectantly at Jess.

"Who told you I lived here?" Jess asked, ignoring the quip. He was about ready to call up Cammie or Jesse and tan their asses.

"Gee, like it's that hard to stalk you," Matt snorted. "I had Chris stake out Stampede in case you showed. You are really predictable, Jess, you know that? After that it was a simple matter to shadow you."

"Clearly, both of you need more work hours, if you have time to stalk people."

"Come on, can you blame us? You leave, Cammie refuses to tell us where you live, and we hardly see you anymore," Chris protested, trying to make the situation seem less desperate.

"Gee, maybe you should've thought about that when you kicked me out," Jess rebutted sourly.

"Hey hey, we're here, right? Isn't that worth something in your cynical eyes?" Matt stepped forwards, pointing at him. "You think we put this much effort into finding you because we wanted to trash you? Despite what you may think, we actually like you."

"Reg and Jake were a bit...rash, we can acknowledge as much. But we had a deal, man."

Jess sighed. They were right. They'd had a deal. As long as he didn't make trouble, he'd been welcome to stay with the guys. Too bad trouble ran in his DNA.

"Fine. You're here."

"And you're here. What is this place?" Chris asked inquisitively, trying to peek behind Jess.

"It's mine," Jess replied. "I bought it."

"You... What? This is yours?" Matt's eyes bulged, and he looked at the building.

"Not the building, genius. The street level business space and the upstairs apartment."

"Can we see it?"

There was no way he would be able to dissuade them, Jess knew that. So, he shrugged his shoulders and stepped out of the way, letting his former co-habitants step inside. They walked around the business space for a good fifteen minutes, muttering to themselves about the prime location and the amazing possibilities. Interestingly enough, Jess noted, they never once asked him why he had bought an office space instead of a regular apartment. When Chris and Matt were done ogling, he ushered them upstairs, letting them see the upstairs apartment.

"Interesting choice of reading," Chris noted, nodding to the still open book about the civil war.

Jess hesitated. This was not the way he wanted to tell them. But then again, he'd have to tell them at some point. And since this meeting was already happening, what reason was there to keep this from them?

"Yeah, I... I'm studying. For my Social Studies-exam."

"Oh..." Matt said, nodding, then stiffened. "Wait, what?"

"Social Studies. I'm getting my GED."

Matt looked like he might explode, and Jess thought that the smile that spread on Matt's face was possibly more creepy than that of the Cheshire cat.

"I knew it!" Matt then exclaimed, turning to high-five Chris. "I freaking knew it! Jake so owes me money for this!"

"I'm sorry, what?" Jess furrowed his brow, looking from Matt to Chris.

"Matt bet Jake that you would get your act together, that we'd been wrong to kick you out just like that," Chris clarified, then turned to Matt, who was dancing around them, jabbing his fists in the air. "Dude, did you even bet money?"

"Who cares, I will still demand money!"

Matt's crazy dancing went on for another few minutes, after which they all sat down, tentatively asking each other questions about what had been going on. As it turned out, Reg and Jake had pitted themselves against Matt and Chris on the Jess-matter, adamantly refusing any suggestion to take him back. In addition, Jake spent less and less time working with the publishing company. He more or less lived at the record shop, taking on more and more responsibility.

"Reg is slipping. He's completely caught up trying to score a chick at that college bookstore. He's been all bitter and desperate since he broke things off with Jessie. Add to that he has to regularly bring more copies of your book," Matt told him with a smirk. "He's still loyal to Locust Publishing, so he can't refuse to bring more copies. But it's becoming clear that he's getting to that point where he will follow in Jake's footsteps and fade out of the picture."

"Sorry to hear that," Jess said, and he actually felt sorry for Matt and Chris. They had put so much work into Locust Publishing, and hearing how two of the founders were basically turning their backs on it was not good news.

"Yeah... Still, we're doing okay. The Zine is still up and running. Jake at least gives us heads up on interesting releases and underground gigs, and we've had bookstores from out-of-state call and ask to stock your book. We've also sent them a few of our other published works for consideration, so..."

"_The Subsect_ is selling? Really?" Jess cocked an eyebrow. During all that time since he left the guys he hadn't really thought about how his book was doing.

"Yeah, we've had to reprint, like, three times," Chris said, his eyes lit up with excitement. "Mostly we restock for Reg's workplace, but as Matt said, we've had some independent bookstores from in and around Trenton and Hartford calling us and asking for new shipments. You apparently did a good job selling yourself on that trip home."

Jess let out a laugh. "Please, I practically begged them to accept it. Maybe they like desperation."

Silence fell. It seemed all topics were exhausted.

"Well... I should get back to the civil war," Jess uttered, cringing at how awkward the situation was.

"Um, yeah... Good luck with that. We... we have an anthology to prepare for printing. But... Yeah. Take care, Jess."

"Maybe we'll see you at Stampede?" Matt suggested hopefully.

"Probably."

"Okay. We'll... we'll find our way out. Good seeing you, and all that," Chris said, giving him and awkward wave.

The guys left, and when Jess heard the front door downstairs slam shut, he leaned back into the chair he was sitting in and let out a gust of air. Wow.

That wasn't so bad.

* * *

**A/N**: There is still hope for Truncheon, ya'll! Jess, Matt and Chris in a room without yelling, fighting or accusing. Did you like it? Leave us some review love!


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